


Sacrifice

by justanotherbookworm78



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, F/M, Guilt, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, Partners to Lovers, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:41:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 148,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27466606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanotherbookworm78/pseuds/justanotherbookworm78
Summary: Elliot Stabler was a man who fought to protect and serve. It was a well known fact that he was always willing to make the ultimate sacrifice to save those he loved. What would he do, then, when faced with the impossible? When a madman doesn't want his life in return, but someone else's? Can he allow himself to make that sacrifice? Or will someone else make that decision for him?
Kudos: 3





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This was my third story ever published, but the first I ever wrote in real time while actively publishing, and not one that I'd had on my hard drive for years on end. It was active from May 2 to July 9 of 2019, and to be honest, something I will always be proud of as one of my first 'original' story ideas that wasn't based off an episode of the show. From there, my muse only grew, and I've been writing ever since. Now that I'm getting all my works cross posted here on AO3, I hope you'll enjoy one that will always have special place in my heart.

Disclaimer: SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. I own nothing.

* * *

Time. For those individuals within the walls of Mercy General's emergency room trauma ward, time was a common enemy. One they all battled against. Each fought in their own way, determined to win the war.

For family members, time meant waiting. Watching the clock on the wall with baited breath as the hours and seconds ticked away. Some sat fidgeting in the uncomfortable chairs in the waiting room, sipping on cups of stale coffee that had been procured from the hospital's cafeteria or a nearby vending machine by well-meaning friends. It was an attempt to distract, an attempt to soothe and comfort. Others chose to leave the chairs behind, opting instead to pace the linoleum, walking back and forth in paths already worn into the floor by so many who had come before them.

The hospital staff were a flurry of activity in their part of the war on time. Receptionists and front desk staff did their best to placate the waiting family members when they had little or no news to offer. Nurses raced about, heedless to their own needs, working hand in hand with the doctors to treat, diagnose and save their patients. Despite all their efforts, not everyone would emerge a winner. Some battles – some lives- would be lost. Blood would be spilled, tears would be shed. Hearts would be broken, lives would be forever changed.

It was the patients who had the hardest job. They were fighting a battle not only against time, but a battle of life and death. If the scales tipped too far in any one direction, it could mean their battle here on earth was over. Even at the brink of unconsciousness, they had to gather the internal will to dig deep and fight hard, pushing through to victory.

On this day in particular, a sea of blue flooded the waiting room. As was always the way when one of their own had fallen in the line of duty, they took up the battle as a collective unit. Brothers and sisters in arms. They were all in this fight together.

Sitting off to the side, a small group of men sat together. They were talking quiet among themselves. One, a bald man in a suit, would occasionally receive a phone call on his cell which he would deal with in short, clipped tones. He was frustrated with all the interruptions, and while he knew things would need to be dealt with, now was not the time. His concern was on the woman they were all waiting on word for.

  
A second man, also in suit, seemed to grow impatient with waiting. He stood and announced to the small group he was going to get some coffee for all who were waiting. He received a couple nods of thanks from his colleagues, and headed off toward the cafeteria.

The third man, an African American who had just questioned the receptionist for an update, and probably come across more intimidating than he intended, returned with no new news. He announced this aloud, hoping to get some sort of reaction from their other companion, sitting farther away from the group, but the man didn't even as much as blink.

This man sat slumped in his chair, seemingly unaware of his surroundings. He didn't even realize that his son was sitting next to him. He took no notice or care in his appearance, in the blood that stained his clothes hands, and face. He also paid no heed to the steady stream of tears that leaked from his bright blue eyes. He was too overwhelmed by the guilt that consumed his heart, mind, and soul.

Also sitting nearby was a teenage boy wearing clothes that were similarly rumpled and stained like his father's. The boy, too, wore a worried and anxious expression. He fidgeted with his phone, having used it recently to make a call, securing a change of clothes for both himself and his father. Somehow he knew his father was in no condition to think of such things. He too was battling with his own feelings of grief and guilt.

All who were in attendance were worried about one woman in particular. She had been injured today when what should have been a routine situation went very wrong very fast. Being the brave woman that she was, she inserted herself into the middle, not caring about her own welfare. She didn't realize how much her life mattered to each and every person in this room. If the scales should tip in the wrong direction, so many lives would be affected by her loss.

Meanwhile, within the walls of a trauma room, doctors and nurses worked in a frenzy to save the life of the very woman in question.

She had a tube down her throat to assist her breathing, and one nurse squeezed a bag that had been attached to it in a rhythmic pace to sustain her lungs with air. Gauze bandages were swapped out at a frenetic pace in an attempt to control the bleeding from her ribcage and abdomen. Not bothering to properly dispose of them, the bloodied bandages littered the floor around the gurney.

A sudden, steady whine from the heart monitor prompted them to grab the paddles and try to shock her heart back into a steady rhythm. After two shocks, they were successful, the lines on the monitor rising and falling at an even pace once again, and all in the room breathed a temporary sigh of relief.

A phone call from upstairs was the news they had all been waiting for: an operating room was now available, and now that their patient was somewhat stabilized, she could be rushed upstairs for surgery. They all looked around at one another, sharing a knowing glance. One battle had been won, but could she win the war? Could she emerge victorious and fully recovered? Or would death return and drag her over to the other side? Only time would be able to tell.


	2. The Case

**Disclaimer: SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. I own nothing.**

Husband, father, cop. Those were the three titles that Elliot Stabler once used with pride to describe himself. Three words that he used to tie in to his very identity. To take any one of the three away, would be to take away a part of his soul, a part of the very man he had worked a lifetime to become. Did he have flaws? Of course. He was human, after all. But he was a proud man who worked hard to support his family, and fought fiercely to protect those he cared about.

Husband. Was he still a husband? Or was it 'ex-husband' that now defined him? He had almost been once, but after a separation of nearly two years, he and his wife had reconciled when she became pregnant with their fifth child. But now, they seemed farther apart than ever, and she had filed for separation once again. She claimed that he was too distant, and that she was unable to deal with his temper. Similar claims that he had heard once before. As of last week, she had yet again taken the remaining children who still lived at home, and gone to stay with her mother.

Father. That was a title he would always have, he figured. They would always be his children. And he would always love them. Yet with the exception of their youngest, his children didn't seem to need him right now, unless it was for money. They seemed only to resent his presence, his concern, his love. He supposed his daughters had 'take sides' with their mother. As for his older son, Dickie (or rather Richard as he now wanted to be called), their relationship had been strained ever since his son had wanted to join the army without permission with a friend from school. Things had gone sideways, his friend had been killed, and Dickie had blamed Elliot for it all. In his attempts to protect his children, he was only driving them further away.

Cop. The one title he still held in his life where he walked any sort of steady ground. Granted, it wasn't always steady. His temper and fierce nature often got him in hot water with his boss. It was also the one title that was more complicated than most, as it didn't apply only to him. Because with 'cop', also came the title of 'partner'. He wasn't going out into the field alone, but always had someone at his side, watching his back as he had to watch theirs. Luckily for him, for the past twelve years, his partner was one Olivia Benson. She was his equal in every way. Typically, a woman on the force had to face all sorts of obstacles. It was viewed that they would not be up to the difficulties of the job, be it physically, mentally, or emotionally. Not Olivia. She could hold her own. She was fiercely protective of the victims, and equally as fierce when it came to taking down the criminals that attacked them. If not for her by his side, he doesn't think he would have lasted this long working as a detective in the Special Victims Unit.

So. He was a cop. At least he still had that. His wife may have left him (again). His children may not be speaking to him (again). His badge would never fail him. At least, he hoped not. Because if he were to lose his badge, if he were to lose his partner, then he would have lost everything. It was all he had left.

Elliot was pulled from his thoughts by an intense pain in his hands. Looking down, he saw his knuckles were raw and bruised. The skin broken in places. The punching bag that was once in front of him now lay on the floor. Wiping sweat from his brow, he replaced the bag to its original position. He went into the bathroom, and washed his hands, rinsing off the blood that trickled from them. He supposed they should be treated and bandaged, but couldn't be bothered to deal with it. Feeling exhaustion creeping in to his bones, and not wanting to go home to an empty house, he headed upstairs to the crib to catch a few hours of sleep before work the next morning.

Olivia Benson entered the squad room of the precinct. Save the remaining members of those who were working overnight on a skeleton crew, it was nearly empty. She locked her purse away in the bottom drawer of her desk, placed her jacket over the back of her chair, and upon noticing the jacket draped on the chair at the desk across from hers, went off in search of her partner.

She found him shortly after, asleep in one of the bunks of the crib, laying on his back. Taking note of the bruised knuckles of the hands resting on his abdomen, she furrowed her brow in concern, and placed her palm on his shoulder. At her gentle touch, his eyes opened.

“Morning, partner.” she murmured softly by way of greeting. “Rough night?” At his nod, she continued. “If I'd known you were going to be crashing here last night I'd have offered you my spare room. It would have been much more comfortable than this.”

“It's alright, Liv.” Elliot said in reply. “I didn't know until last minute myself that I was staying here, and besides, I wouldn't want to impose.” He sat up and swung his legs around to the side, stretching as he did so.

“Elliot” She began. “You could never impose. I know I may have said it was for emergencies only when I gave it to you, but please, don't hesitate to use that key should you need a place to stay.”

He started to object, but a stern look from her made him think better of it, so he only nodded. Standing, he crossed the room to the bank of lockers and opened his to reach inside. Grabbing a towel, and a few other items, he called over his shoulder to her. “I'm going to grab a quick shower, then meet you downstairs.”

“Sounds good, El.” Olivia responded with a smile. “I still have about twenty minutes before I'm on the clock too, I came in early today. What do you say I run across the street and grab us a couple of bagels and some coffee? My treat.”

The smile he gave her as he turned around to head to the showers was the only answer she needed.

Elliot came downstairs to the squad room to find his breakfast and a steaming cup of coffee waiting for him at his desk. When he sat down, he noticed that there were two aspirin tablets waiting beside a small bottle of water. Whether his partner had intuited that he had a headache, or merely guessed his pain from the bruised knuckles she had spotted up in the cribs, he did not know, but he was grateful for her kindness. He palmed the tablets and swallowed them down with a mouthful of water, then reached for his bagel, taking a big bite. Washing it down with a mouthful of coffee, it was not lost on him how well Olivia knew him. Granted, after twelve years of working together, he supposed it was common to get to know one another, but sometimes it seemed like she knew him better than he even knew himself.

Glancing across the desk to his partner, he noticed that in addition to a bagel, she had also opted for some fresh fruit for herself. While that would not be his first choice, he had to admit that the combination of fresh melon and berries looked quite tasty. As though she could feel his eyes on her, she met his gaze. With a slight smile and shake of her head, she reached into the bag that still remained on her desk, and removed a second fork. Extending it in his direction with a raised eyebrow and a knowing smirk, she moved the bowl so that it now rested between their two desks.

* * *

The remainder of the morning had ticked by slowly, something that was a rare occurrence in the world of the Special Victims Unit. There was hardly ever downtime to get caught up on things, as crime never seemed to take a breather. Too often one of these lulls meant they were about to be swarmed with work, so they took advantage of the calm while they had it.

While Olivia was busy with paperwork at her own desk, Elliot was sitting at his own, lost in his thoughts once more. He was feeling somewhat better than he had the previous night when he lost control in the precinct gym. The bruises on his hands still smarted, but he supposed he deserved that for having not worn gloves, or at the very least not taping his hands up to protect them from harm. To her credit, Olivia had not questioned him as to the nature of the injuries, though he could tell by the way she had looked him over this morning she was worried. He supposed she knew him well enough by now to know he tended to vent his anger on inanimate objects. He knew though, that she had to be curious. Her concern was apparent enough this morning in her care of him, providing the aspirin, getting the coffee, sharing her breakfast. Yet she was giving him the space he needed to choose whether or not to come to her and talk about what was bothering him. He appreciated her quiet gestures more than he could ever say. Rather than pressuring him to open up before he was ready, something he hated, she instead opted to show quiet support through simple gestures that meant so much more than words could ever say. He thought back to this morning, how rather than fussing over his bruised and bloody hands as Kathy might have done, there was simply aspirin and water waiting for him at his desk. That instead of being forced into uncomfortable conversation, a simple offer of breakfast and coffee. He was grateful to her for the gift of time. Time to think over what it was he wanted to talk about.

Elliot was pulled from his thoughts when he glanced up to see a young woman walking into the squad room. She had bruising on her face, and her clothes were tattered and torn. Sensing her apprehension in a room filled with men, his partner was the first to approach her.

“Hello.” she said softly, not wanting to startle her. “My name is Olivia Benson. I'm a Detective here. How about we go somewhere where we can talk in private?”

At the young woman's tentative nod, Olivia gestured her toward the interview room just off the Captain's office, equipped with a couch. The setting should hopefully make the girl more comfortable. About thirty minutes later, the two emerged from the room. The girl's face was tear-stained, but her face held a look of determination.

Olivia stepped over to her desk, grabbing her jacket from the back of the chair. She exchanged a glance with Elliot, and upon seeing it, he stood up to meet her. “I'm taking her to Mercy General for a rape kit. She was out with friends last night, and the last thing she remembers is sharing a drink with an older guy at the bar who walked her home after.”

“You want me to drive you to the hospital?” Elliot asked.

“No.” Olivia replied. “She's very wary of men in general right now. If you could do a background check on our possible suspect, see what you can find?” Olivia asked, passing her notebook into Elliot's hands.

“You have a sketch?” Elliot asked incredulously.

“She's a student at the art institute. It was the first thing she did before coming here. Her memories of what happened after he walked her home are foggy at best, but she did remember his name and face.” Olivia explained.

“Good for her.” Elliot said. “I'll get on a check of this guy, see what turns up. Call me from the hospital if you need anything.”

Olivia nodded, then turned to the young woman, whom she had learned was named Lacey Hines, and draped her jacket over her shoulders. “Let's go Lacey.” She encouraged softly. “I know this is going to be scary, but I'll be with you every step of the way.”

As Lacey nodded her agreement, Olivia led her out of the squad room to her car to drive her to the hospital. Elliot sat down at his desk with the notes and sketch Olivia had given him and pulled up computer files.

Lacey's description seemed to match a case from a couple month's back where young women were being approached in bars, their drinks spiked without their knowledge, only to awaken in alleys the next morning with their clothes torn. Cash and credit cards had been stolen. Rape kits had all turned up negative, but blood tests had all been positive for GHB. If this was indeed the same suspect as the previous case, it appears he had escalated. It was no longer enough for him to drug, molest, and rob his targets. Now he was attacking them in their very homes, and had increased his crimes to include rape. They had to arrest this bastard before someone ended up dead, because Elliot feared that is where it was heading.

* * *

Olivia returned to the station several hours later. She had seen Lacey through the entire rape kit procedure, and driven the young woman home after. They were still waiting on lab results to determine whether or not GHB was present in her system. She had remained at the young woman's apartment while a locksmith changed the locks, an act that went a long way in making Lacey feel safe until she was able to find a new place to live. As Olivia was leaving, she had placed her card in Lacey's palm, encouraging her to call if she needed anything.

Taking her jacket off, and placing over the back of her chair once more, she walked around the joined desks, and stood behind her partner. Leaning over so she could look at his computer screen, she asked. “Did you find anything?”

Her partner nodded, then referred to the printout in front of him on the desk. “The sketch she gave us proved to be a big help. I pulled up some information on past attacks on women in the past month involving GHB. There were no rapes reported, but they were all found in alleys with their clothing torn, money and credit cards stolen.”

“I remember.” Olivia said. “Every time a new case was reported, it would seem that the young woman would have more severe injuries. We were always afraid that the perp was going to escalate.”

“And now he has.” Elliot concluded. “We need to find this guy before he escalates again. If he even thinks that his victims could identify them, I hate to think how far he would go to keep them quiet.”

“Do we have a name and address?” Olivia questioned.

“Michael Stevens. Address is right here.” Elliot said, holding up a piece of paper. “Shall we go check it out?”

“I thought you'd never ask, partner. Let's go question this piece of shit.”

* * *

Upon arriving at the address, the two detectives got out of the car and headed toward the townhouse. Stabler raised his hand in order to knock, but before he was able, the door swung open.

“May I help you?” A voice questioned through the slight opening.

Holding up their badges so that they were clearly visible, Elliot and Olivia introduced themselves and explained their presence. The door swung open wider as a form of invitation, and they stepped into the small foyer.

“My son is not home right now, he is at work.” The woman explained. “I'm certain he is not involved in anything like you could be saying, he is a good boy. He takes care of me.”

“Ma'am, we just want to ask him a few questions. That is all.” Elliot said. “If you could please have him give us a call, I'm sure we could clear this up quickly.” With that, he extended his card to the woman. He and Olivia thanked her for her cooperation, and they saw themselves out.

“Why is it that whenever we are investigating a suspect they are always the nicest person in the world who has never done anything wrong?” Elliot asked his partner as they were buckling their seat belts. “Is everyone really a perfect angel?”

“If that were the case, we wouldn't have a job.” Olivia said in reply. “In answer to your first question, I think its because no one wants to admit that someone they love is capable of doing such a thing-- that someone is capable of doing such horrible things to another human being.”

“I suppose you are right.” Elliot said. “I'd like to think that I would never be capable of breaking the law, but if it came to defending my family or someone I care about, I don't know what I'd do.”

“That is because you are an honest and good man, El.” Olivia said, placing her hand on her partners shoulder. “But we aren't talking about a case of self defense here. Stevens wasn't trying to protect anyone. He attacked Lacey and those other women simply because he could. He found a sick pleasure in it. You aren't that type of person. That's why you work so hard to put scum like him in prison.”

Giving his partner a small smile, he nodded his agreement and went to turn the key in the ignition. Noticing that something still seemed to be weighing heavily on his mind, she questioned him again.

“Everything okay El? You don't seem like yourself today.”

“I'm fine Liv. I promise.” Elliot said, but his partner wasn't buying it.

“You're fine? Isn't that supposed to be my line?” She questioned with a knowing grin. “Want to try again, and this time, don't give me some bullshit response.”

“Okay, so I'm not fine. You've known that since you found me up in the cribs this morning. But I'm not ready to talk about it yet. I'm not trying to shut you out, Liv. I'm just not ready.”

“Fair enough.” Olivia replied. “What do you say you come over to my place after work later? We can order in some Chinese, watch the game on TV, and make short work of the six pack that is sitting in my fridge.”

“Liv--” Elliot started to say, but was quickly interrupted.

“Don't 'Liv' me. I didn't say one thing about coming over to my place and baring your soul, now, did I? No. I offered food, beer, and sports. All things that you will need to unwind after this oh-so-lovely day we are having. Then I will offer you my spare room, and you will take it, because if I find out you are crashing in the cribs again tonight, I _will_ kick your ass.”

Finished with her threat, Olivia looked at him and smiled. He was helpless to do anything but smile at her in return, knowing it was hopeless to argue with her. He put the car into gear and headed back in the direction of the precinct.

* * *

Once back in the squad room, Elliot dove back into computer files on Michael Stevens while Olivia busied herself answering phone messages. She was currently talking to the lab regarding Lacey Hines' rape kit and other test results.

“Shit.” She overheard Elliot say just as she was hanging up the phone.

“What is it?” She asked, almost fearing the answer.

“Stevens had a juvie record that was expunged when he turned twenty-one. He also had several claims made against him while in college, but they were all handled within the university, and police were never involved.”

“Let me guess...he was accused of rape and assault in every instance?” Olivia questioned her partner.

“Bingo.”

“That son of a bitch.” Olivia mumbled under her breath. “From what I heard back from the lab, they did find skin cells underneath Lacey's fingernails, but the only hit in the system was hidden.”

“How much do you want to bet it's our 'innocent' suspect?” Elliot asked her.

“If I had a dollar for every so-called 'innocent' person we've arrested over the years, I could have retired by now.” Olivia quipped.

“Aw, Liv. You know you love me. That's why you stick around.” Elliot said with a smile. She just rolled her eyes and reached for her phone again, so she could call the ADA in an attempt to get a warrant for the suspect's DNA, since she knew it was a lost cause at attempting to get his juvenile records reopened and used in the case.

Olivia had just finished her phone call when the man in question, Michael Stevens, walked into the squad room. Making eye contact with her, he tried to explain his presence.

“Excuse me. I'm looking for a Detective Stabler. My mother gave me his card, explained that he and a Detective Benson were at my house today looking for me. Said they had questions.”

“Yes. I'm Detective Benson.” Olivia said by way of introduction. “Detective Stabler is my partner, he stepped out for a moment, but should be back shortly. We do have some questions for you. Why don't I show you to a room where we can wait for Detective Stabler?”

“That would be fine, thank you. Are you sure you're a police officer? You are far too pretty to deal with such things.” His attempt at flirting with her fell flat.

“That's what it says on my badge” She said with a no-nonsense voice, moving her hand off her hip to show off said badge. “Please follow me.”

She led him to an interrogation room, and showed him inside. Before leaving him alone for a few moments to go and collect Elliot, she asked if he wanted anything to drink.

“No thank you.” He tried again to flash her one of his best smiles, but Olivia merely ignored it, closing the door behind her as she left.

Olivia walked out toward her desk, meeting up with Elliot who was returning from the file room. She gave him a knowing glance, and called out to him, letting him know she needed his attention.

“El.”

Hearing her call, he walked over to her. “What is is Liv?”

“You'll never guess who just showed his face. Stevens. I have him waiting in interrogation two. Guess he's willing to talk to us after all. Either that or he's here to play mind games.”

“Mind games? What makes you say that?” Elliot asked, curious.

“Said something about my being too pretty to be a police officer. You know how much it annoys me when they try to flirt.”

The more she tried to explain, the more he could see the flush on her cheeks rising as her temper flared. He barely hid his smile. He didn't want to end up on the wrong side of his partners bad mood. Let her save that for their suspect. Then again, he reminded himself, if this guy stepped out of line, he would have no problem showing him where his place was. He knew she could take care of herself, but no one disrespected her in his presence and got away with it.

Together, they walked toward interrogation room two. Elliot knocked once on the door before opening it, stepping back a bit to allow his partner to enter the room before following her inside.

“Thank you for coming in Mr. Stevens.” He began. “Sorry to have kept you waiting.”

“It's not a problem.” The man in question stated in reply. A confident smile on his face.

Placing the files in his hand down on the table, Elliot grabbed a chair, and turning it around, sat down to face the man. Olivia opted to remain standing, moving to the corner of the room to lean against the wall, arms folded in front of her.

“So...Michael...you don't mind if I call you Michael, do you?” Elliot questioned, anxious to get a read on the guy. “You must be wondering why we needed to see you today.”

“I'm not curious at all. My mother said you had questions, so here I am. Anything I can do to help the police.” He said this while flashing yet another smile in Olivia's direction. In response, Olivia and Elliot shared a look, Elliot raising an eyebrow in response. At her almost imperceptible nod, he focused his attention on their suspect once again.

“Do you know a young woman by the name of Lacey Hines?” Elliot asked. Given the arrogance that emanated from the man, he knew there was no point in beating around the bush.

“Can't say that we've ever met.” Michael said in reply, a blank expression on his face. He moved his hands under the table, and leaned back in the chair, seeming completely at ease.

“Well it seems she knows you.” Elliot said, removing a picture from the file folder in front of him and sliding it in the man's direction. “And she claims that you raped her.”

“Rape?” The man said incredulously, his face taking on a shocked expression. “That's impossible.”

“How so?” Olivia piped up from her corner.

“I don't need to rape a woman to get sex. They come to me begging for it” Stevens said, wearing a smug grin.

“If that's the case” Olivia began, “then explain to us what happened to your face.” The man had four deep scratches on his cheeks on both sides of his face.

“I cut myself shaving.”

“You cut yourself shaving.” Olivia was incredulous. In her years as a detective, she had heard pretty much every excuse in the book, but this was a new one. She took a few steps closer to the table, bracing both palms on it and leaning forward to continue. “Explain to me how your shaving cuts looks exactly like scratches made by two hands on either side of your face. Scratches in the exact same place where Lacey tells us she scratched her attacker.”

“I don't know what to tell you. But I cut myself when shaving this morning. I was having an allergy attack, and sneezed while I had the razor in my hand.” How this man was able to lie with a straight face was beyond them. Then he went a step further, and addressed Elliot. “Don't you think you should try a little harder to keep her in line? Haven't you ever just wanted to slap her to get her to follow your chain of command? We both know you're the one in charge here.”

Barely suppressing his temper, Elliot chose to ignore the man's provocations. But he wasn't done.

“I think if we're going to continue this conversation, I'd like to have my lawyer present. I refuse to be railroaded by incompetent police work.”

Elliot and Olivia looked at one another in defeat. He had uttered the magic words. She stood back from the table as he pushed himself back from his chair.   
  


“You are free to call your attorney. We'll be back to finish this conversation when they arrive.” Elliot said, turning to exit the room with Olivia on his heels.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Elliot and Olivia were sitting in the squad room when in walked defense attorney Trevor Langan. Someone they were familiar with from past cases, both groaned upon seeing him. Opting not to engage in too much of a conversation with the man, Olivia merely told him his client was waiting in interrogation room two.

Olivia picked up her phone when it rang. It was a brief call, and when she hung up, she wore a look of triumph upon her face.

“What is it?” Elliot asked. “That the lab?”

“Yes.” Olivia said. “Turns out our Mr. Stevens had an arrest during his college days, it was cataloged as one 'Steven Michaels'. He did have DNA on file after all. They ran it against the evidence collected from Lacey's rape kit, it was a positive match.”

Elliot grinned. “Let's go tell Mr. Langan that his client is under arrest, shall we?”

“After you, partner.”

They were about to head in the direction of the interrogation room when a young teen came into the squad room.

“Dad!”

Upon hearing this, Elliot turned abruptly in direction of the voice to see his son, Richard standing there.

“What is it, Dickie – er sorry, Richard- is everything OK?”

“Everything is fine dad.” The boy announced, rolling his eyes in frustration at the concern. “I need the car. Mom is using hers, and I have a date tonight. She told me to come borrow yours. I took a cab here from home.”

Now feeling slightly annoyed at both Kathy and his son, Elliot forced himself to remain calm. “You _need_ the car? Don't you think there is a better way to ask me that question?”

“Mom already said I could use it.” The teen replied flippantly. “She told me to come down here and get the keys from you. Gave me cab fare and everything.”

Closing his eyes and counting to ten, Elliot took a deep breath. Opting to pick his battles, and knowing this was not the time to start fighting them, he chose to give in for the time being. He would have to have a talk with Kathy later.

“Fine. But we're going to have a talk later about your attitude.” At hearing this, Richard rolled his eyes, but nodded nonetheless.

“Give me fifteen minutes to finish up something here. You can wait at my desk. Then I need to go with you to get some things from my car that I will need. You can have the keys then. Its that or you don't get the keys at all. Take it or leave it.”

“I'll wait.” the teen grumbled, stomping over to the desk and flopping in a chair beside it. He folded his arms across his chest and glared at his father.

“Everything okay Elliot?” Olivia came up behind him and asked.

“Just great. My son just told me that he needs _my_ car keys and that my wife gave him permission to come get them from me.” Elliot grumbled to his partner. He felt her hand on his shoulder. He started to shrug it off, then relaxed under her touch.

“Well, its a good thing you're coming to my place after work then, isn't it?” she said with a smile. At his puzzled expression, she continued. “Don't tell me you've forgotten already. Chinese? Beer? The game?”

He broke into a relieved smile. That's right. He was supposed to go to his partner's place after work tonight for some much needed relaxation. It sure as hell beat walking home, he supposed. Or spending another night here at the station, beating the crap out of a punching bag and falling asleep in the cribs.

Turning to address his partner, he said “What do you say we go read this bastard his rights, then clock out of here early?”

“Works for me.” She said. They then headed back to talk to the defense attorney and his client.

“Well, Mr. Langan. It seems your client's DNA is an exact match for the DNA of the man who raped Lacey Hines.” Olivia said as she walked into the interrogation room where Michael Stevens and his attorney were waiting.

“What are you talking about? Let me see that!” Trevor Langan demanded, reaching for the file in question. Looking it over with an eagle eye, he then turned to his client. “You told me you were innocent. This evidence clearly proves otherwise.” He felt the color flush on the back of his neck. While he often questioned his clients innocence, he did not like being played for a fool.

“I am innocent!” Stevens shouted. “This bitch is lying! They both are! They are trying to frame me!”

“Shut up Michael.” Trevor said quietly. He then turned to the two detectives. “Get your ADA down here. See if they are willing to deal.”

“We'll do that.” Elliot said. “In the meantime, explain to your client that it would be in his best interest to do so. And that he will be placed under arrest as soon as the ADA arrives with a warrant. We can still hold him here another 18 hours, so don't even think of going anywhere.” They then turned and left attorney and client in the room once again.

* * *

Elliot walked back out toward his desk, where his teenage son sat nearby with a sullen expression. Figuring it would be pointless to talk to the teen now, he rummaged through the drawers for his keys. He handed them off to the boy, and was about to tell him to be careful, when there was a commotion from the rear of the squad room.

“Michael, stop!” Trevor Langan could be heard yelling.

Michael Stevens came tearing out of the interrogation room, and tackled a nearby uniformed officer, punching him in the head and knocking him unconscious as they went down. Quick as lightning, he grabbed his duty weapon off of his belt and reached for the boy who was about to leave. Yanking him back against the chest, he put a restraining arm around the boys shoulders and used the other hand to put the gun to the boy's temple before anyone around could register what had even happened.

“Dad!” Richard called out, fear apparent in his voice. He forgot that he was angry with his father for making his mother upset, for being too strict, for ruining his life in general. Right now he just wanted his help.

All the officers in the room had their weapons drawn and aimed at Michael Stevens. Elliot and Olivia included. Captain Cragen had come out of his office at the commotion, and with him, Lieutenant Tucker from IAB.

“So.. its ' _Dad_ ' is it?” Stevens said with a sneer. “I do believe I've found myself a way out of here. And there is nothing you can do about it. You're not going to arrest me, detective. You're going to let me walk, and forget all about Lacey Hines. Do that, and I just might let your boy here live.”

Realizing that he had the upper hand in this situation, and thus, an air of authority, Michael addressed the room. “I want all of you -save detectives Stabler and Benson- to lower your weapons. Do it now, or I'll hurt the boy.” As if ensuring he meant to make good on his threat, he dug the gun further into Richard's temple, causing the teen to gasp.

“Everybody do as he says.” Captain Cragen announced loudly. He then tried to address the suspect. “My name is Donald Cragen. I'm the Captain here. How can I help you?”

“I don't want your help.” Stevens snarled. “I'll talk only with Detective Stabler.”

“All right then. Michael.” Don Cragen conceded. “Detective, this is your lead.”

“Got it, Cap.” Elliot replied, not once taking his eyes off the suspect in question who was holding his son at gunpoint.

“Okay Michael.” He addressed. “I want to make this situation better for you. How about we let some of these other people leave? Then its just you and me?”

“NO!” Stevens shouted. “Everyone stays. The only person walking out of here is me. With an insurance policy, of course.”

“Michael, please stop and think about what you are doing” Trevor tried to reason with his client. “This isn't going to help your case any. Let the boy go.”

“You shut up! This is your fault, too!” Stevens snapped at his lawyer, brandishing the gun in his direction now. Trevor raised his hands in acquiescence, opting to remain quiet. Raising the gun in that direction again, he shouted once more “Get over there! In fact, all of you, line up against the far wall by the Captain's office. You, Benson and Stabler, stay by your desks.”

The remaining people in the squad room did as they were told, moving slowly but quickly enough to avoid angering the man with the gun. The police officers all still had their weapons drawn. Those who were not officers had their hands up in a gesture of surrender and compliance. All eyes were turned in his direction as they waited for him to speak once more.

“I want everyone but Detectives Benson and Stabler to disarm themselves and put their weapons on the floor. No tricks.” Still keeping a choke hold on the teen, he brandished the gun in the direction of the crowd. He watched carefully as they all obeyed his instruction, taking notice that neither Captain Cragen, nor the man at his side made move to remove their weapons.

“Captain, you too. And you, whoever you are. Guns on the floor, the both of you.” He threatened again.

“My gun is in my office.” Captain Cragen explained, brushing back the lapels of his suit jacket to show that he wasn't armed. It was then that the man to his left spoke.   
  


“My name is Lieutenant Ed Tucker. I work with the Internal Affairs Bureau. I carry no weapon.” He explained, palms still raised in a non threatening gesture. “If you let me, I can make a call and help you out of here, but you need to let the boy go.”

“Shut up! I already said I'm only talking to Detective Stabler. And Benson.” Stevens shouted again. “Besides, why would I let go of my insurance policy?” As he said this, he trailed the barrel of the gun down Richard's cheek, causing the boy to tremble in his arms.

“Dad...” he whispered again in fear

“Now where were we?” Stevens began. “Oh yes... DAD. Tell me, Detective Stabler. Earlier you mentioned a deal. Just how much are you willing to deal now that I hold your son's very life in my hands?”

“Don't hurt him.” Elliot said pleadingly, keeping his weapon drawn on the man who held his son hostage. “I can get you whatever you want, but if you hurt him, no one will be willing to work with you.”

“I want to walk out of here.” Stevens said. “I'm _going_ to walk out of here and none of you are going to do anything to stop me. If you try, the boy dies.” With that, he began to edge backward toward the exit.

“Wait!” Elliot said desperately. “Take me instead. If you try and leave now, you won't get very far. But if you have a police officer as your hostage, you'd be untouchable.”

“Untouchable?”

“Yes. I can also arrange for you to have money and a vehicle waiting for you at the door.” Elliot continued to try and negotiate with the man, trying to appeal to his more material desires.

Lowering the weapon from the boy's temple momentarily, he used it for a second to scratch his own, wearing a look that indicated he was deep in thought. A sinister expression crossed his face, and he smiled evilly as he realized what it was he wanted to ask of the detective.

“You'd do anything for your son, wouldn't you?” he asked curiously

“Yes.”

“Do whatever it takes to save his life?”

“YES”

“And you'll get me whatever I want, so I can get out of here, if I only let the boy go in return?”

“You have my word. It's a deal” Elliot held his breath, he couldn't believe the negotiations might be about to pay off. Yes, Stevens might 'slip away' temporarily, but the hostage task force would be waiting outside to intercept him.

“Agreed.” Stevens said. “I'll release the boy to you, unharmed, as soon as I have in hand what I want you to give me.”

“Okay then. That was a smart choice Stevens. What is it I can get for you?” Elliot asked, his veins turning to ice the moment he heard the request.

“Your partner. I want Olivia Benson.”   
  



	3. The Trade

“ _You'd do anything for your son, wouldn't you?” he asked curiously_

“ _Yes.”_

“ _Do whatever it takes to save his life?”_

“ _YES”_

“ _And you'll get me whatever I want, so I can get out of here, if I only let the boy go in return?”_

“ _You have my word. It's a deal” Elliot held his breath, he couldn't believe the negotiations might be about to pay off. Yes, Stevens might 'slip away' temporarily, but the hostage task force would be waiting outside to intercept him._

“ _Agreed.” Stevens said. “I'll release the boy to you, unharmed, as soon as I have in hand what I want you to give me.”_

“ _Okay then. That was a smart choice Stevens. What is it I can get for you?” Elliot asked, his veins turning to ice the moment he heard the request._

“ _Your partner. I want Olivia Benson.”_

* * *

At Stevens' request, Elliot's stomach dropped. No. This couldn't be happening. Trade his own life to save his son's? He'd do it in a heartbeat, and never think twice about the consequences. But being asked to sacrifice his partner to save his son? It was a nightmare. There was no way of winning in this situation. He simply had to convince this man to take him in exchange for his son, and spare Olivia in the process.

Seeing Elliot shocked into silence, Stevens smiled. He knew what must be going through the man's mind. Detective Stabler struck him as a man who would do the right thing at all costs. It had been by luck indeed that the boy he had grabbed as a hostage was his son, but he used the situation to his advantage. He would never harm the boy, his goal all along to get the cocky detective to surrender his partner in order to save an innocent. What Detective Stabler didn't know was that Stevens wasn't done playing the game just yet. He planned to torture him even further before this day was done. He knew he might not walk out of this station alive, but he would still be victorious in breaking down the man who tried to emasculate him in interrogation. As for Olivia Benson? She would never look at her partner the same way again. That's if she even survived. He hadn't decided yet whether or not to let her live for her part in his humiliation.

“Well Detective? I'm waiting.” Stevens sneered, a look of pure evil on his face.

“No.” Elliot said. “No deal. Take me instead, I beg you.”

“I don't want you. I want her. And you're going to hand her over to me. Cuffed and at gunpoint. Or I'm going to put a bullet through your son's brain. You have thirty seconds.” At this, he dug the gun even harder into Richard's temple, causing the teen to cry out.

“Dad!”

Olivia, having taken in the whole scene before her, had come to a decision on her own. Lowering her weapon, she quickly disarmed it and laid it down on the desk behind her. Trying and failing to make eye contact with Elliot, she turned to address the man who had captivated the attention of the entire room.

“What do you want me to do?” She asked softly.

“I don't want YOU to do anything, sweetheart.” Stevens growled. “That would defeat the purpose. Good work on disarming yourself though, it means you are willing to play along. It seems Elliot here is in need of some convincing.”

With that statement, he reached into his pocket and withdrew a small penknife. Using his teeth to open the blade, he calmly rested it near the boy's throat, his other hand still holding the gun at his temple.

At seeing all of the shocked expressions in the room, he gave an eerie grin, and opted to explain himself.

“I bet you're all wondering how I got past the metal detector and checkpoint downstairs, aren't you?” He chuckled quietly. “It seems that the officer on duty wasn't quite as immune to my charms as Detective Benson here was. When the alarm went off first, I merely pulled out a pair of nail clippers to explain for the, shall we say, hiccup, and placed it back in my pocket. She never suspected a thing.” He tightened his grip on the knife, then leveled a glare at his target. “Now Detective Stabler, unless you want to see your son's blood shed in the next thirty seconds, I suggest you lower your gun.”

Elliot obeyed, lowering the weapon from where it was trained on the man who held his son, and aiming it toward the floor. His heart sunk though when he heard the instructions that followed.

“You will then turn to your side, and raise your gun again, pressing the barrel directly against Olivia's heart.” Stevens eyes shone with the amount of sick pleasure he was getting out of giving these orders.

Gun still lowered to the floor, Elliot turned to face his partner, but couldn't bring himself to meet her gaze. He kept staring at the floor where his gun remained trained somewhere in the vicinity of their feet. He was still warring with his emotions when he felt a gentle hand close around his wrist, followed by another. His head came up abruptly, and he looked into his partner's face. She gave him a look filled with such complete understanding, with no judgment in her eyes in the least. It nearly proved to be his undoing. He felt his hand began to shake.

“It's okay Elliot.” She whispered, soft enough so that they were the only ones to hear. “Do what he tells you to.” With those words, she lifted her arm, bringing his hand upward, and placed it so the gun was resting against her sweater, directly over her heart. Placing her other palm over his hand to steady it against the shaking he had no control over, she steadied his grip.

He tried to pull his hand away, and uttered a softly whispered “Liv, no.” that was meant for her ears only.

She held fast to his wrist with both of her hands, giving his hand a barely noticeable squeeze. She repeated herself then, assuring him once more with a sincere “It's okay” before she lowered her arms to her sides once more, keeping eye contact with Elliot at all times.

Stevens had been watching their interaction with curiosity, and decided he wanted to take things a few steps further. He now knew that Olivia was a willing participant in this trade that was about to take place, but that didn't mean he still couldn't make them both suffer in the process.

* * *

“Okay new game.” Stevens called out. “Olivia, I want you to take off your sweater.”

At his request, Olivia didn't even flinch, but merely raised her arms to cross them over her midsection, grabbing the hemline of her blue sweater and raising it over he head. She dropped it onto the floor beside her, revealing the white tank top she had on beneath. Once she was done, she took a step closer to Elliot, ensuring that the barrel of his gun was pressing against her heart once more.

“Elliot. Your turn.” Stevens said. “Move the gun from her heart and press instead to the center of her forehead, right between the eyes. Olivia, no helping this time.”

Elliot swallowed upon hearing his instructions, and his hand momentarily trembled yet again. He found his resolve in Olivia's brown eyes. There was no admonishment there, only understanding and acceptance. He would go so far as to say she was encouraging him to do this, to do whatever it took to save his son, even if she were to become a casualty in the process. Once again, just as he had so often been in the field, he was overcome by her bravery. He steadied his hand, and raised it toward her head. Keeping the pressure light, he rested the tip of the barrel against her skin. He was trying to concentrate on his breathing and next step in this 'game' that he had somehow been sucked into when Stevens threw another question at him that had him reeling.

“What would you do if I told you I'd release your son if and only if you were to pull that trigger right now?” Stevens questioned.

Elliot felt his breath catch in his throat. He shook his head, as if in an attempt to rid himself from having heard the words. When his eyes met Olivia's again, the compassion he saw in them gave him strength. He was trying to figure out how to even answer a question like that when the man began speak again.

“Only kidding Elliot.” Stevens comment came on the back of an evil sounding snicker. “For now anyway,” he added as an afterthought. “But I do want you to do something with that gun. To prove to me that you take my threats seriously, to prove to me that you are taking this situation seriously. Hit her.”

Elliot's head snapped in the direction of Stevens, still feeling a punch in his gut at seeing his son being held at gunpoint. He couldn't believe what this man was asking.

“Did I stutter?” Stevens snarled. “I said 'hit her'. And not just some open-palmed slap. Use the gun and strike her across the face. Hard enough that she falls to the floor. Because if _she_ doesn't-”his voice lowered to a threatening rasp, gesturing to Richard with both the gun and knife, “He will.”

A look of utter anguish crossed Elliot's features, followed by a look of sheer rage. Rage against the man who had put him in this situation to begin with. But he was helpless at this point to unleash that rage, his son's life still hanging in the balance. His partner the seeming sacrificial lamb to gaining his freedom. Desperate for answers, he turned to Olivia yet again. She met and held his gaze, then gave him an imperceptible nod, as though she were granting permission. A shout of fear from his son's lips was the deciding factor. He drew back his arm, and swinging his hand in a downward arc, struck his partner across the face, a sharp CRACK echoing through the room as the gun met her cheekbone. Her face followed in the direction of the blow, her head snapping to the side. She made no sound, but crumpled to her knees, dazed.

He immediately bent to help her up, reaching to grab her elbow, but was stopped by Steven's voice. “No. Leave her. Put your weapon on your desk for now.” Elliot did as he was told. He then turned to the man, awaiting further instruction.

“Take her handcuffs from her belt, and restrain her hands behind her back. Throw the key to me.”

Kneeling down beside Olivia, Elliot moved to do as he was told. He reached for the cuffs, and drawing her arms behind her back, encircled the cuffs around her wrists. He clasped both of her hands in his for a moment, giving them a brief squeeze. He wasn't exactly sure what it was he was trying to convey with that touch, but he was desperate for a moment of connection with her. He felt a gentle pressure on his hands in response, and found himself temporarily reassured. He then stood again, and tossed the key across the room as he had been instructed. The man holding his son caught it with one hand, then placed it in his pocket.

On seeing that Olivia was cuffed, and securing the key in his pocket, Stevens nodded, then spoke again.

“Now you can help her stand. You can even pick up your gun again. I want you to put it between her shoulder blades. I'm just about ready to make the trade.”

* * *

Still positioned behind her, Elliot placed his hands on his partner's elbows, and used that hold to steady her as he eased them both into a standing position. As they were rising, he caught a brief glance at the bruise that was starting to stand out on her cheek, along with the small gash of broken skin that accompanied it. On any given day, seeing that type of injury on his partner was enough to make him furious. Knowing that he was the one who inflicted it-- even at the instruction of a madman-- just made him ill.

He chanced a moment to stand in front of her, brushing her hair off her face and behind her ear, assessing the condition of her face. He laid his palm against her injured cheek and searched her eyes with his, checking in with her the only way he was able. She met his gaze, the corner of her mouth turning up in a brief, but sad smile. She gave him a nod, confirming that she was okay with everything that had happened. Letting him know that she was okay with everything that had yet to happen in the nightmare of a situation that continued to unfold before their very eyes.

“Get your hands off her!” Stevens snarled, angry that his command was being ignored, even if only for a moment. “I told you to pick your gun up and put it between her shoulder blades. But since you seem to have so much trouble following instructions, we're changing the rules. I want to see you hit her again. This time across the temple. And I want to see blood drawn.”

“No. Please, I'm sorry. I was just helping her up.” Elliot tried to explain.

“Elliot. Just do it. Whatever it takes.” Olivia said softly next to him, so quiet that he doubted Stevens even heard her. “I mean it.” She raised her head proudly against the man's cruel, punishing words and held her chin high, ready to accept the next blow.

The rest of the room looked on in horror watching as the situation continued to unfold. As Elliot was being made to manhandle his partner at the risk of his own son coming to harm at the hands of madman who held him at gunpoint.

Sighing, Elliot pinched the bridge of his nose. His other hand gripped his police issue weapon once more. He thought for a moment then quietly asked the man standing across from him, “This is all a game to you, isn't it? You have no intention of releasing my son. You are never going to trade.”

Michael Stevens face broke out into a broad smile as he considered his reply. “I assure you, detective, that I am a man of my word. I will release your son to you in exchange for you handing the lovely Miss Benson over to me. I just want to break the both of you first. What better way than to have you do all the work for me in destroying your partnership?”

He paused for a moment to let his words sink in, and then continued, his voice lowering to a sinister tone once more. “Now, do as I told you before I really lose my patience. HIT HER. Or it will be your son who suffers the consequences.”

Upon saying these words, he teased the blade of the knife across the boy's throat. Dickie trembled noticeably, and a wavering whisper of “Dad...” flew from his lips.

With a shout of frustration, Elliot did as he was told, smacking his weapon against the side of his partners head. He felt sick to his stomach at the sound that was caused by it, and at the cry of pain she was unable to hold back. He caught her as her knees buckled, preventing her from collapsing to the floor, since she didn't have use of her arms to steady herself. In doing so, his hand came up to cradle her head, and he was met with a warm, sticky substance he knew to be blood. It trickled over his fingers, weeping from a cut just above her eyebrow. With their heads so close together in this position, it gave her the advantage to whisper something in his ear. Her words, while giving proof to her strength and bravery, did nothing to ease his nerves.

“Once the trade is made, and Dickie is safe, you take this bastard out. Don't let him walk out of here. You take that shot. Even if the only way to take it is through me.”

Her words were slightly slurred, but her message was clear. And though it made him ill to hear it, he knew she was right. Michael Stevens simply could not be allowed to leave this precinct. He nodded against her head so she could feel his response, then moved away from her to comply with the instructions he had been given.

As he started to step away, he felt his partner sway slightly. He knew she had to be dizzy from the blows she had taken to the head. Blows he was responsible for. Shaking off the guilt, knowing there would be time for that later, he moved to stand behind her, raising his arm so that the barrel of the gun now rested between her shoulder blades. He raised his gaze to glare at the man across the room, wondering what awaited him next in this man's sick mind games.

* * *

Michael Stevens met Elliot's glare with one of his own. Tightening his hold on the teen in his arms, he addressed the crowd in front of him.

“You know I'm going to walk away from this, don't you? You can't touch me. My lawyer has been here this entire time. Even if you do manage to overpower and arrest me, which I can assure you won't happen without blood being shed, he'll ensure that I won't be charged. Isn't that right, Trevor?” He turned his questioning gaze to address his attorney, who had been standing out of the way, watching this situation unfold.

“I'm afraid I won't be able to do that Michael.” Trevor Langan began with a shaking voice, afraid that with this denial of assistance, the man's fury would then turn on him. “Things have changed. I've witnessed you commit a crime. Seen you assault a police officer, steal his weapon. Watched while you took a young man hostage and threatened several other officers of the law. If anything, I would be called to testify for the prosecution. I can't help you anymore. Give yourself up now, and I'll do my best to find you an attorney who can.” He tried to reason with the man holding the gun, but to no avail.

“You must be kidding yourself if you ever think I'd surrender. Detective Benson and I are walking out here.” He snarled threateningly. Leveling his gaze back at Elliot once more, he spoke again. “I'm ready to make the trade now. And if you try anything funny, both your son and your partner will die.”

Olivia chose that moment to speak up. “Leave him out of this. You want me, I'm right here. I'll walk over to you right now, you put your gun to my head, then you and I will walk out of here. No one will touch you with me as your shield.”

“That may be so,” Stevens began. “But I'm not done just yet. Richard here has to earn his freedom.” Everyone in the room began to wonder just what the man could possibly mean by that statement. He leveled his gaze with Olivia and spoke once more. “Walk toward us, slowly. No tricks. You- Stabler- set the gun on the desk for now. I'll let you know when you can pick it up and point it at me again.”

Elliot did as he was told, laying the weapon down on the desk, and raising his hands up to his sides in a non-threatening gesture.

Olivia cast a glance over her shoulder at her partner, making eye contact, and gave him a brief nod. Satisfied that she had gotten the unspoken message across, she returned her gaze to Stevens, and began to take a step forward. She didn't flinch as the man removed the gun from Dickie's temple and swung it in her direction, leveling his aim on her.

“Slowly.” He instructed.

Olivia crossed the few remaining steps and stopped, standing directly in front of them. The barrel of the gun now rested against her forehead.

Stevens spoke then, addressing the boy in his arms. “Now Richard, you want me to let you go, don't you?”

“Yes, sir” The teen's voice trembled, but he spoke clearly.

“And what would you do to gain your freedom?” The man questioned, a mocking tone to his voice.

“Anything. I'll do anything. Just please, sir, don't hurt me.”

At hearing his response, the sinister smile once again spread across Stevens' face. This new game was working out even better than he could have possibly planned. He reached down and placed the knife in the boy's palm, wrapping his hand around it so that they both held it together. Raising their joined hands, he lifted the knife so that the blade now rested against Olivia's cheek.

“Cut her. Slash her face.” He began. “Your father had to spill her blood to ensure your safety, you have to spill her blood to win your freedom.”

“Dad...” Dickie began, his voice shaking, trying to turn his head to meet his father's face.

Stevens nudged him with his gun hand, forcing him to look Olivia in the eye, then returned the weapon to rest against her forehead once more. Dickie closed his eyes and dropped his head, unwilling to meet her gaze. He was trying to hold his emotions together when the woman standing in front of him spoke softly, words meant for his ears alone.

“Richard.” she said gently. “Look at me.”

He raised his eyes to look her in the face, and allowed her to continue.

“Don't worry about me. Do whatever this man tells you to ensure your own safety. I won't blame you for any of it.” Sensing the young man in front of her was still struggling, she decided to try another tactic.

“Dickie”. She said this time, and his head snapped up upon hearing the childhood nickname he had grown to despise. “Do you remember when Shane was missing? How I had to question you here at the station? I want you to think about how angry you were with me then. The accusation you hurled at me. Now, the answer I gave you was the truth...but I want you to pretend I had given you the opposite answer. Use that anger now. Channel the anger and fear you are feeling, and direct it toward me. It's okay.” She added the last part softly, never breaking his gaze for a moment during her speech.

“Interesting. You two have a history. This just keeps getting better and better.” Stevens couldn't resist chiming in.

He then addressed the teen in his arms. “Now since you seem to be so hesitant, I'll help you at first, but you're on your own for the next one. Cut her.” With that, he moved their joined hands in a quick flash, causing the blade to slash Olivia across her cheek, leaving a small trail of blood in its wake. To her credit, Olivia did not so much as flinch in reaction to the attack.

Dickie however, recoiled instantly. He tried and failed to release the knife, but Stevens tightened his harsh grip around his wrist, forcing his hold on the blade, and preventing him from doing so.

The wound on Olivia's cheek was not deep, but it did begin to weep blood nonetheless. Stevens appeared to be intrigued by all of her various injuries thus far, and decided to use them as a means to further taunt the men in the room. He leveled his gaze on Elliot, and addressed him first.

“Your partner is looking a little worse for wear, detective. And to think if anyone asks, I haven't laid a finger on her. All of her injuries are on you.” He paused to indicate the boy he still held with a restraining arm around the shoulders. “And of course, I don't think young Richard here is quite done inflicting harm quite yet either.”

Elliot felt a rush of heat rise over him as his temper flared yet again. Never before had he felt such equal parts of rage and helplessness. He had wanted nothing more than to tear this man limb from limb from the moment he had first grabbed his son. That anger had only escalated over the past hour, intensified by his forced assault on Olivia. That she had responded with such understanding and near blanket consent only served to increase his torment. Now, he watched as she stood in front of Stevens and his son unwavering. She had offered his son the same understanding and open permission, no matter what the cost to her. Anything to ensure his safety. He only hoped this situation would come to a peaceful conclusion soon. Short of a miracle though, he didn't see that happening. His train of thought and self punishment were interrupted when Stevens began to speak yet again.

“I've decided I have a new request. Before I release the boy, and before I walk out of here with the lovely detective by my side, I want all my charges dropped. I want the evidence to disappear. Since Mr. Langan here so eloquently put earlier that he wouldn't be able to defend me, I want it made so that there is nothing to defend me against.”

The room was silent after his request was spoken. It was the Captain who spoke up in reply, attempting to stall the situation, without escalating the man's anger any further.

“We're not able to do that. We don't have the authority. We'd need someone from the ADA's office for that to happen. To be perfectly honest with you, they aren't going to be willing to deal while you are holding an entire police precinct hostage. Especially when those hostages include a civilian teen you've been keeping at gunpoint. Factor in the injuries that Detective Benson has sustained, and I would have to say you are out of luck on getting those charges dropped.”

Stevens reply was swift and vicious. “Well I suggest you get someone from the ADA's office down here and _make_ it happen. And just in case you need some incentive--” he paused and redirected his attention to the two individuals in front of him. “Richard here is going to remind you.”

  
He removed the gun from Olivia's forehead and placed it back against Dickie's temple. Speaking harshly into the teen's ear, he said. “You're on your own for this one, kid. Cut her. And I don't mean some simple slash on the face like we did before.”

Feeling him tense in his arms at these words, Stevens chuckled darkly. “Don't worry, boy. I'm not talking about anything fatal. That would end the fun entirely too soon. Tell you what, I'll still give you a little bit of help. I'll move your hand and direct you where I want the blade to go, but you have to to all the dirty work yourself. Do we have a deal?”

To emphasize his point, he dug the barrel of the gun harder into the boy's head, and only eased up on the pressure when he nodded his agreement. He ensured that he had a tight grip on the knife once more, then raised the teen's shaking hand upward, stopping when the tip of the blade rested just below Olivia's collarbone.

“Okay kid. Whenever you are ready.” Stevens sneered.

Dickie's hand trembled, causing the knife to slightly nick Olivia's skin in the process, but not drawing any blood. He didn't want to do this. Yes, he was angry with his father, and he was trying to remember all his past anger with the woman standing in front of him, as she had instructed him to do earlier. But he couldn't do it. He didn't want to hurt her. Truth was, he cared about her. She had been a presence in his life for as long as he could remember.

As though sensing Dickie's internal struggle, Olivia tried again to reach him. “Dickie.” She began softly. “I want you to listen to me. You can do this. Do this so he will let you go. Channel all the anger and fear you are feeling and direct it behind the swing of your arm. I know you don't want to hurt me, and I don't blame you for one second. Just like I don't blame your dad for what happened earlier. If I had the use of my hands, I'd help you...but I don't. It's going to be okay.

Her gentle words calmed him somewhat, and though he still didn't want to hurt her, his fear was still coursing through him. He felt the gun poke against his head once more, and something that she said started to make sense. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and swung sharply with his arm, feeling sick to his stomach when he felt the moment it sunk into the flesh of the woman standing in front of him.

Ten seconds later he opened his eyes. He hadn't heard Olivia cry out in pain, and for a very real moment, he was terrified that he had missed, and would be forced to try and attack her again. But he saw the small gash that resided just below her shoulder. He opened his mouth to apologize to her, but she spoke first.

“Enough of your games, Stevens. Make the trade. I've been standing here for hours while you have instructed other people to hurt me, because you are too much of a chicken shit to do it on your own. The next time you're in such a hurry to see my blood, man up and do it yourself.”

Retribution was swift and immediate as he whipped her harshly across the face with the gun. But her words had the desired effect as he pushed Dickie away from him, and grabbed her instead, pulling her in toward his body by the hair. The gun was immediately at her temple.

Refusing to be intimidated, she ignored the pain in her face, and addressed the frightened yet relieved teen once more.

“Dickie. Go.” She urged. “I want you to go into the Captain's office and shut the door. Hide under the desk, and stay there. Don't come out no matter what you may hear. Stay there until your dad comes to get you.”

Dickie started to move in the direction of the office, but was halted in his tracks by Stevens.

“I didn't say you could go anywhere, _Richard_. If you take one step toward that office, I'll cut her again.” With the threat made, he moved the knife to Olivia's throat, to emphasize his point.

Ignoring the blade under her chin, Olivia addressed the teen once more.

“Dickie, its okay. Go.” she said, speaking slowly and carefully to avoid jarring the knife. Seeing his hesitancy, she tried another tactic.

“Elliot?” She questioned, meeting his gaze and pleading with her eyes for her partner to back her up in this.

“It's okay son. Do as Olivia says.” Elliot spoke, his voice shaking slightly. He wanted his son out of the room and safe as much as she did, but he prayed that her plan wouldn't backfire. Looking at the bruises that were scattered on her face, slashes that marred her skin, he wasn't sure how much more abuse she could take.

With one more worried glance at his father, Dickie rushed to the office at the far end of the room. He did as Olivia had instructed, and shut the door, then went and hid underneath the Captains large desk. He tucked his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs, and burying his face. Only now, out of the view of others, did he allow his tears to fall.

* * *

“Well. Wasn't that touching?” Stevens words were hardly more than a whisper.

He removed the knife from her throat to place an iron grip in her hair once more. Pulling her head to the side, he spun her around so she was facing him.

“You're going to pay for that.” He whispered with a sinister intent.

“Your threats mean nothing to me, Stevens.” Olivia replied in an even voice. She almost sounded bored. “So far all you've done all day, save for that so-called slap you just gave me, is order other people to hurt me.” She stared him right in the eyes as she said this, refusing to be intimidated by him.

“Why, you bitch!” he growled.

He closed the knife and put it back in his pocket, then used both hands to wrap around Olivia's throat, his thumbs pressing directly over her windpipe. The action caused the gun to now be resting against the base of her throat. He was infuriated when she began to taunt him yet again.

Olivia looked over her shoulder at Elliot, who was looking nervous. What in the world was she doing, taunting the man like this? His eyes searched hers for answers, only to widen almost imperceptibly when her gaze flicked down to the gun on his desk then back up to make eye contact with him once more. He gave her a brief nod, signaling his understanding, and took a small step closer toward his desk.

Olivia leveled her eyes to stare at the man holding her captive. Her body was uncomfortable from his harsh hold on her. Her face ached from the blows she had taken earlier that day. The cuts on her face and chest throbbed, but she was not about to let anyone know the pain she was in. Her mind was set on one thing, and one thing only. Now that Dickie was safely hidden away in the Captain's office, it was time to take this bastard down. She only hoped she was still standing when the dust settled.

“I've said it before Stevens. But maybe you didn't understand me. Maybe I should spell it out more clearly for you. You don't have the balls to hurt me yourself. That's why you had to have everyone else do it for you.”

At her words, Stevens spun her around yet again, so that her back was against his chest. He placed both of his hands against the straps of her tank top, and tugged sharply, causing the garment to tear. The straps fell and hung limply from her frame, but she remained covered.

Olivia knew it was time to set her plan into motion. She waited anxiously as his hands began to wander, the gun falling away from her temple. In one swift movement, she stomped down with her right foot, while simultaneously swinging her elbow backward. As Stevens moved to counter her attack, she jerked her head back sharply, striking his nose. As she dropped down to her knees, she called out with a shout.   
  


“ELLIOT! NOW!”

Time seemed to move in slow motion. Elliot grabbed the gun off his desk and swung it in the direction of the man who had been a source of torment and torture all afternoon. He raised his hand and fired off two shots, one right after the other. What he hadn't anticipated, though was Stevens reflexes, and what happened in those next few seconds made his heart stop in his throat.

* * *

Stevens recovered quickly from the blow to the his nose, and blinked rapidly to clear the tears from his vision. Having heard Olivia's shout, he grabbed her roughly by the hair and yanked her upward at the same time Elliot fired his weapon. He watched with glee as one, then two bullets pierced the woman's skin, her body jerking from the force of it all. Then he held her as she collapsed to her knees once more. With a final burst of rage, he used all his strength to slam the side of her head into the desk next to him, then shoved her limp body to the floor. He then raised his head and spoke to the detective who was still staring at him, gun poised to shoot once more.

“Game over. I win.”

With those final words, he raised his own gun to his temple, prepared to end things on his own terms. A third gunshot echoed throughout the room, and he felt a sharp, burning sensation in his shoulder. He collapsed to his knees as the pain consumed him. Officers swarmed in from all sides, kicking the gun away, and yanking his arms behind his back. He was quickly placed in handcuffs, searched, and the knife and handcuff key were removed from his pocket. He looked across the room to find Lieutenant Tucker standing, a smoking gun in his palm. He'd believed the man earlier when he had said he wasn't armed.

“No. You are under arrest.” The Captain spoke with a shaking voice as he watched the man being taken into custody. Seeing that his men had things under control in terms of subduing the offender, he addressed the situation at hand. “Someone call an ambulance!”

“On the with 911 now” Trevor Langan said. True to his word, he had the phone to his ear, and was giving a brief description of a police officer having been shot in the line of duty. An ambulance had been dispatched, and was on it's way.

Elliot, having stood in shock for a few seconds, snapped into action.

“OLIVIA! NO!” he shouted desperately, as he ran to her and fell to his knees at her side. Grabbing the key that had been passed to him by an officer, he freed her arms from their restraints. They fell to her sides, and his stomach dropped. He gently turned her over, praying that he would find her still breathing.

As he turned Olivia over, her head flopped limply. Her eyes were closed, and she was bleeding heavily from two separate wounds on her torso. It appeared that one bullet had entered at her ribcage, where the other had struck her in the abdomen. She was also bleeding again from an open head injury, likely caused when Stevens slammed her head against the desk.

With a shaking hand, Elliot pressed two fingers to her throat, slumping with relief when he felt the faint, yet steady beat of her pulse. He then focused all of his attention on controlling the bleeding until help could arrive. He was unaware of a constant stream of apologies that poured from his lips.

“Olivia. I'm sorry. So sorry. This is all my fault. It should be me lying here, not you. You're going to be okay Liv, you've got to be. I need you to be okay so that you can forgive me.”

As though hearing his words, Olivia's lashes fluttered open, her head lolling from side to side, a groan of pain escaping from her lips. She tried to lift her head, but he stopped her.

“Easy Liv. Steady. Just relax. I've got you.”

She blinked a few times, licked her lips, then nodded. She looked pensive for a moment, and he was wondering what could possibly be on her mind. He didn't have to wonder for long, because she spoke. Her voice was soft, but he didn't have to strain to hear her.

“Well. This sucks.”

Elliot couldn't help the slight laughter that bubbled forth from his lips at her comment. Only Olivia could take being shot and find a way to find humor in the situation. Sensing she wasn't done, he waited to see what else she had to say.

“I guess my plan backfired a little, didn't it?” She questioned, eyebrows raised.

“Olivia--” Elliot began to say, but they were interrupted by a terrified shout.

“DAD!” Dickie came running over. “I know I was supposed to stay in the office until you came to get me, but I heard them say that the man was under arrest, so I knew it was safe to come out and—OH MY GOD, OLIVIA!”

The teen fell to his knees beside his father and the fallen female detective, in shock that the woman who had worked so tirelessly to defend him all day could be so gravely hurt. He had heard the gunshots from his hiding place, but didn't think that she could have possibly been caught in the crossfire. Turning to address his father, he spoke with determination.

“I want to help.”

Afraid to involve his son in such a drastic situation, but in desperate need of help in controlling the bleeding on his partner, Elliot made a choice.

“Okay, son. I want you to put both hands together, like this.” He lifted his hands from Olivia's ribcage to demonstrate what he meant. His hands were placed together, one on top of the other, fingers linked. “Place your dominant hand on top, so you have more strength to apply pressure. Put your hands over the wound on her stomach, and press down hard. Don't worry about hurting her, she needs that pressure to control the bleeding.”

“Okay, dad” Dickie replied hesitantly, then moved to do as he was told. It was then that he noticed that Olivia was awake and looking up at him. He couldn't believe that someone could go through what she had, and still be conscious. Unsure of what to say, but needing to say something, he began to talk to her.

“Olivia, I'm sorry.” He whispered.

He closed his eyes for a moment, unsure of how to continue, when he felt a gentle pressure on top of his hand. When he opened his eyes again he saw that she had rested one of her hands atop of his where they lay on her stomach. She gave them a slight squeeze, then let her hand fall limply to her side once again.

Elliot noticed the interaction, but made no comment. His partner was getting weaker with every moment that passed. “ _Where was that ambulance?_ ” he wondered.

“Elliot.”

Her voice was no more than a whisper. He leaned down in order to hear her better, but was startled when she began to cough harshly.

A fine spatter of blood flew from her mouth to stain the front of his shirt. He panicked.

“Easy, Liv. Don't try to talk. Just rest.”

He soothed her, moving one of his hands to brush the hair back off her brow. He was startled when one of her hands flew up to grasp his, clutching it desperately. The amount of strength she still possessed – despite being shot – amazed him.

“Elliot.” She tried again.

She let go of his hand, and instead moved to clutch at his shirt, her eyes searching his face wildly. Her voice was raspy, and she seemed to be having trouble breathing. He had to lower his head even more to hear her words.

“I want you to promise me something.” She begged of him, a pleading expression on her face.

“I promise you Liv, you're going to make it. You're going to be okay.” He assured her, certain that is what she wanted affirmation of.

She shook her head in frustration. Another coughing fit shook her frame as both Dickie and Elliot held her down in their attempt to control the bleeding. She felt a sharp pain in her chest, and then it became nearly impossible to draw in air. Convinced she was about to breathe her last, she became more determined than ever to have her partner hear the words she needed to speak.

“Elliot.”

She forced her eyes to meet his, both of her hands now fisting his shirt desperately. When he met her gaze and she knew that she had his full attention, she went on.

“I want you to promise me.”

He started to speak again, and she moved one of her hands from his shirt to cover his mouth lightly. Looking at him with a raised eyebrow, she challenged him wordlessly to be allowed to say her piece. Nodding, he gave her permission to continue.

“Promise me Elliot. Promise me that no matter what happens – if for some reason I don't make it out of this alive – I want your word that you won't blame yourself. I don't blame you for one single second of the events that happened here today. But if the worst does happen, if I do die, I won't be able to rest in peace if I know I left you behind feeling guilty for my death.”

“Liv” Elliot choked out, finding it difficult to speak.

“Promise me Elliot. I'm not asking for anything else.” She begged.

Her body shook as another coughing fit took over, more blood pouring forth from her mouth. He could see how weak she was becoming, but she was hanging on still, hanging on to hear the words of promise from him. He didn't know how he could promise her that, when he already blamed himself more than he could put voice to. But if that is what she needed to hear, he would give it to her.

Leaning down to place a feather soft kiss upon her brow, he whispered into her ear.

“I promise Liv. Now save your strength. Let me take care of you.”

Upon hearing his words, a sigh of what could only be relief escaped from her lips. The grip she had on his shirt loosened, and the features in her face relaxed. She looked at him for a moment longer, giving him a brief smile before a shuddering cough overtook her body, and then her eyes closed, and she lay still.

* * *

Elliot's heart nearly stopped as her hands dropped and her face took on a peaceful look. He felt her body go limp under his hands, and he pulled away to feel for a pulse.

“Don't you do this to me, Liv. Don't you dare.” He whispered.

With shaking hands he found a pulse, though faint and thready, beating at the base of her throat. His relief was short lived, though, when he realized she was no longer breathing. He immediately relinquished his hold on the wound on her ribs.

Moving his hands to tilt her head back, he gripped her jaw lightly in one hand, while pinching her nostrils shut with the other. Placing his mouth over hers, and taking no heed of the blood that transferred to his face as a result, he forced two breaths into her lungs, watching her chest barely fall and rise with the effort he expended.

Picking his head up to draw in more air, he repeated his actions again and again.

Looking into her pale face, he began to speak to her, praying she could still hear him.

“You don't get to do this Liv. You don't get to ask me for a promise like that, and then check out on me. Breathe, dammit.”

He felt the tears burning at the back of his throat, but he refused to let them fall. Now was not the time.

A rush of footsteps could be heard, as a team of medics came running into the room, equipment in hand. Pushing his son, back slightly to allow them space, he began to explain the situation feverishly.

“Olivia Benson, age 42. She sustained several injuries throughout the day, most serious being the two gunshot wounds. She was conscious up until about five minutes ago. I still have a thready pulse, but she wasn't breathing, at which point I started mouth to mouth.”

Elliot recited the words almost mechanically, as though he were explaining about a civilian on the street, and not his partner. He watched as the medics moved in, and one tilted her head back, expertly moving a tube down her throat, attaching a bag and pumping it to allow air to reach her lungs.

The second medic was listening to her chest with a stethoscope, then grabbed a small needle and syringe to quickly stab the unconscious woman in the chest, saying something about a collapsed lung.

Scissors were used to remove the tattered tank top she wore, leaving her exposed in just a bra as various wires and electrodes were attached to her body. Gauze bandages were applied in a fervent attempt to control the bleeding. They quickly and expertly transferred her to an awaiting gurney. As one of the medics began securing her with belts and straps, the other radioed ahead to the hospital, alerting the trauma team to be ready and waiting for their patient's arrival.

As they prepared to leave, Elliot stepped up.

“Wait. I want to go with her. She's my partner.”

“I'm sorry sir. We can't allow that. The situation is too critical.” With that they whisked Olivia out of the station to the awaiting ambulance.

Elliot stood behind, watching them go. He barely felt when his son came to stand behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Come on dad, let's go to the hospital. I'll drive.”

Everyone gathered their things, and agreed to meet at the hospital. It was an unspoken understanding among them that they all prayed for Olivia's continued survival. They were all trying to ignore the blood that still remained spilled on the precinct floor. Even though it might be cleaned up shortly, it was a sight none of them would forget for many years to come.

They all headed out of the precinct doors together to their cars. Elliot and his son, Captain Cragen, detectives Fin and Munch. The additional officers worried about their fallen sister in blue. Even Trevor Langan was headed to the hospital. Olivia was in for the fight of her life, and they were all going to be there to see her through it.


	4. The Hospital

On any given day in New York City, driving was a nightmare. It was always made much worse at peak times. Trying to navigate an emergency vehicle such as a police car or ambulance was even more difficult, especially in a city where its inhabitants had become virtually immune to lights and sirens. So focused were the drivers on getting home, they paid no heed to the flashing lights in their rear-view mirrors.

Fortunately for Olivia Benson, she was a member of the NYPD. As the paramedics were leaving the police precinct where she had been injured in the line of duty, several escorts followed. Calls had been made ahead to halt traffic, thus providing the ambulance with a near non-stop route to the hospital. Given the critical condition of their patient, this provided them with precious extra minutes of time that could very well tip the scales in the direction of survival.

As they pulled up to the emergency bay of Mercy General, the trauma team was ready and waiting. Each member was dressed head to toe in sterile gown and cap, with masks and gloves on. As soon as the door to the ambulance opened, hands reached in to remove the stretcher.

“We intubated and bagged her on scene. Left lung is collapsed, attempted to re-inflate in the field. Extensive blood loss from two gunshot wounds, knife wounds, and head injury.” The medics began rattling off a list of the patient's condition.

“She was unconscious when we arrived, hasn't regained consciousness since. There are no responses to light, sound, or pain. Her BP started to drop as soon as we got her in the bus, and has been dropping steadily since.”

Once the paramedics were done with their report, given as they all rushed the injured detective down the hallway to the trauma room that had been prepped and readied for her arrival, she was quickly transferred from the gurney she lay upon to the exam room table. The medics, their job done, gathered their supplies and headed out to make report before leaving the hospital.

* * *

In another section of the hospital, the waiting room was starting to crowd with a sea of blue. Officers who had been present during the standoff, and some who had only heard about it over their radios were turning up to find out about their fallen sister in blue. Such was the way of the NYPD. When one was down, all were hurt.

They also knew that a call for blood would be given, and while all were eager to donate, they wanted to wait a few moments to find out what type was needed. That way, those who matched could volunteer first, and provide the most aid. The rest would make their donations later, in the name of their fellow officer.

The automatic emergency room doors swished open again, and all eyes turned. In came Captain Donald Cragen of the Special Victims Unit, leading his squad. Hushed whispers were heard as he was followed by Elliot Stabler and his son, the young boy who was said to have been involved in today's standoff. They were joined by Detectives John Munch and Odafin Tutuola, other close members of the unit.

With them was none other than Lieutenant Tucker of IAB, that was a surprise to see. _“Could the brass be investigating this already?”_ was a whisper among the officers who gathered. They were quickly silenced by those who had been present, putting all rumors to bed. The Lieutenant had been the one to subdue the suspect, thus effectively ending the standoff, it was explained. Sadly, it was not before the man used Olivia Benson as a shield to block himself from the shots that Stabler had fired, thus causing Elliot to shoot his own partner. This gossip caused more whispers as they all stared at the seemingly broken man who sat shell-shocked, staring into space.

All of the officers present felt for the man. A partnership was a sacred bond. While there were many who were closer than others, none of them could imagine the horror and guilt it would cause to be forced to inflict harm on your partner. To be responsible for your partner to be fighting for their very life. It was also well known within the NYPD just how close Benson and Stabler were. That they were the two involved in this horrendous situation, made it that much more tragic.

Trevor Langan was unsure of why he had come to the hospital. He wasn't friends with this group of people. In fact, he knew they despised him and the work he did. But having been in that room while the man he was supposedly defending carried out those acts, he couldn't help but feel responsible. It only felt right that he should come to the hospital to show his support.

A nurse came out of the double doors that led to where the trauma bay ways, blood staining her hospital issue scrubs. All eyes trained on her. She made her way to the captain, who steeled himself for the news.

“Family of Olivia Benson?” she asked, although she recognized most of these detectives, having worked with them in the past.

“I'm her superior officer.” Cragen identified himself. “This is Elliot Stabler, her partner and next of kin.”

Elliot, upon hearing his name and Olivia's being spoken in the same sentence, briefly snapped out of the reverie he was in to address the nurse.

“Olivia. How is she?” He asked, his tone desperate.

“Her condition is critical.” The nurse explained softly. “We are working hard to stabilize her enough so we can take her to surgery, but there is a problem.” She paused, unsure of how to continue.

“A problem?” Elliot panicked. “What is it? Please, you have to help her.”

“When we determined her blood type, we discovered that she is A positive. However, our blood bank here is in short supply, and that is the one type of blood we are out of completely. We are trying to supplement her with a transfusion of platelets and whole blood, but she just doesn't seem to be responding.”

“We are the same blood type. Take mine. Take all the blood you need.” Elliot insisted, his voice now determined. There was something he could do to help after all. Thinking further ahead, he called out with a shout.

“Does anyone here have type A Positive blood? Olivia needs it, and the hospital is in short supply. Please, if you can, donate.”

Several hands were raised among the officers that were crowding the waiting room, and others began texting on their phones, sending out the alert that blood was needed. Donors would be found. Then a voice to Elliot's left spoke.   
  
“Dad. Mom once told me we have the same blood type, is that true?” At his fathers nod, he continued. “I want to help, too. I want to donate.”

“Dickie--” Elliot began.

“No dad.” His son said in reply. “I'm seventeen. I don't need anyone's permission to do this. And I AM going to do it.” Turning to the nurse, he asked her, “Where do we go?”

“Follow me to the blood bank.” The nurse indicated. Elliot, Dickie, and a handful of officers followed. The rest of the officers would go to make their donations later. Even though they were not the same blood type as Olivia, they would make their donations in her name, so that someone else may benefit.

Sitting back in the comfortable chair provided by the blood bank, Elliot did not even flinch as the needle pierced his skin. He was so grateful to actually feel useful. This was something tangible that he could do to help his partner, so much better than sitting in that horrid waiting room doing nothing. His mind kept drifting back to those final moments together in the squad room, him trying to slow her bleeding, and her desperate for a promise for him. A promise he wasn't so sure he would be able to keep, but had made regardless.

He looked to his left where his son lay, and couldn't help but be reminded just how petrified his son was of needles. That he had volunteered to do this, as well as the moments back at the station, made Elliot feel that perhaps he had not lost his son after all.

Though Elliot was desperate to get back to the waiting room for word on his partner after donating blood, he forced himself to sit still long enough to wait the required amount of time they asked him to. He drank the juice that was provided, and though he wasn't hungry, ate the two cookies that the nurse gave him. He knew that he would be of no help to Olivia whatsoever if he ended up in the emergency room should he faint.

Once Elliot and Dickie returned to the waiting room, the captain, Fin, and Munch went to the blood bank to take their turn to donate. Even Trevor Langan lined up make a donation, much to the shock of everyone. Seeing the surprise on their faces, he spoke out.

“I know you all think as a defense attorney I'm a shark in the water who's always out for blood. That doesn't mean I don't have a heart. I can give blood, too.”

This comment caused a chuckle to ripple throughout the room, despite the heavy gravity of the situation at hand.

Back in the waiting room, Elliot had withdrawn back into himself, lost once again in the horrors of the day. His mind kept replaying the moments when he was made to train a gun on his own partner. A woman he valued and respected above all others. His hands shook as he recalled the moments when her hands grasped his, bringing them up so that his gun rested against her heart. The way her eyes communicated with him, granting permission for him to strike her. How she never once cried out in pain at the torment she was forced to endure. He glanced down at his hands and clothes, at the blood that still stained them. Olivia's blood. He shivered at the thought. There was so much of it, and yet it paled in comparison to the blood she had left behind on the floor of the station. How could she possibly survive this?

He shook his head, as if in doing so, he could effectively shake the troublesome thoughts out of his head entirely. Leaning forward in his seat, he placed his head in his hands, covering his eyes as the scene echoed in his mind once again. “ _Put the gun against her heart_ ”...the feel of her hands on his... “ _El, It's Okay, Just do what he says_ ”... “ _Hit Her_ ”

Over and over the scenes played themselves. Always ending in the same way. With her commanding cry of “ _ELLIOT! NOW!_ ”, with Stevens yanking her body up by the hair as a shield in the blink of an eye.

He heard her pleading with him again, her voice desperate not for a promise of survival, but for a promise that he wouldn't blame himself. There she was fighting for her very life, and her main concern was him. He didn't deserve her. But if – no _when_ \- she made it through this, he was going to prove to her that he was worthy of the trust she had put in his hands today.

* * *

Sitting next to his father, Richard Stabler was fighting with his own emotions. He was still reeling from earlier today, the feel of the gun against his temple. He wasn't one who easily admitted his fear, but today he was afraid.

He had arrived at the station earlier that afternoon feeling angry. Angry at his father for choosing the job over his family once again. At least according to his mother, it seemed as though that was what he had done. And his mother wouldn't lie. So if his father had chosen his job over his family, that meant that he had chosen Olivia. At least that's the way it seemed.

Yet when he had been standing there with a gun to his head, his very life threatened, his dad had been willing to trade places with him. No, not willing. Practically begging. He realized that his father really did love him.

As for Olivia, while it may have seemed that she had no choice in the matter, she practically volunteered to trade places with him, too. Even after the way he spoke to her not long ago. The accusations he hurled in her direction. When faced with abuse at the hands of her own partner, she didn't shrink away from it, she even encouraged it. It filled him with renewed admiration for the woman he thought he had grown to despise.

He thought back to when it had been his 'turn' to hurt Olivia. Just thinking about having that knife back in his hand turned his stomach and filled him with anger. Yet she had had nothing for him but gentle words and encouragement, even going so far as saying she wished she could help him. He could still feel the moment that blade sunk into her skin, he didn't think he'd ever forget that sensation.

After that attack, she could have chosen to yell at him, blame him. She did neither. Instead she provoked a madman with a gun, drawing attention onto herself. He had felt the man pushing him away, and before he could blink, he remembered how he was staring at Olivia now in the man's grasp, the gun to her head instead. He remembered her words, telling him to run and hide, get himself to safety, and to not come out no matter what he heard.

What he could not tell his father, what he could not tell anyone was that he hadn't listened to her. Yes, he had obeyed her initially. He had gone into the Captain's office, shut and locked the door. Hidden himself under the desk, drawn his knees up to his chest, buried his head. Even allowed a few tears to fall. But what he hadn't revealed was that after he had a few moments to collect himself, he had emerged from his hiding place. He had just moved the blinds to peer out when she had yelled out for his father. He had seen everything.

He had watched, fascinated, as she fought back fiercely. She stomped on the mans foot, struck back with her elbow, threw her head backward to hit the man in the nose. His father moved with lightning speed, grabbing the gun off his desk, turning and firing in their direction. His fascination quickly turned to horror as the man holding Olivia pulled her up by the hair to use her as a shield, the bullets his father fired hitting her body squarely in the torso, causing her body to jerk with the force of their velocity. Just when he thought he had seen the worst, he saw the man grab Olivia's head and strike it sharply against the corner of a desk, then push her limp body to the floor, treating her as though she were nothing but a piece of trash.

Thinking back on the events of the day, he couldn't help but wonder. These thoughts were similar to what he had dealt with when Shane was missing, and ultimately found dead, although he had been to angry with his father at that time to appreciate it. Was this really the kind of thing his father and Olivia dealt with on a daily basis? Was their job really this dangerous? Could this be the reason they were as close as they were? Because there was no way you could walk out into the world every single day, putting your life into another person's hands and not trust them.

That was what he had seen today. It gave him a new-found respect for his father and the job he did. He thought back to the moment he first put pressure on Olivia's stomach, trying to staunch the blood flow there. He considered his apology, thought of how hollow it had sounded. Then he remembered the gentle touch of her hands on his, the reassuring squeeze she tried to give him. She was laying on the floor bleeding out, after having been traded like a piece of property, all in the name to save his life, and _she_ was offering comfort to _him_.

Richard chanced a glance over at his father, hoping he would be doing better after having had the chance to donate blood. He saw that he had retreated back into himself once more, and was staring off into space. He guessed that his dad was doing the same as he was, and replaying the events of the day in slow motion, most likely on repeat.

Knowing that his dad was in no condition to do so himself, and that they were both probably scaring other people in the emergency room with their blood stained clothes, he made a decision. He placed a call to his twin sister, Lizzie, asking her to gather a change of clothes for both himself and their father. He briefly explained the situation, promising to go into more detail when she arrived. He made sure to elicit a promise from her to not involve their mother, as the drama that would cause was not needed in the hospital setting. That could wait until he got home later.

* * *

While the blood bank was replenishing its supply thanks to the generous officers who were lining up to donate, the first bags of A positive blood that had become available were being administered to Olivia, in the hopes that it would let her vitals begin to stabilize. She was still in a precarious situation, dependent on others for her breathing.

Her heartbeat had fallen out of rhythm once already, causing the doctors to grab the paddles to try and shock her back into a more even pace. Thankfully, they were successful, and her heart seemed to be cooperating ever since. She was still loosing blood at a rapid rate, and they were eager to find the source, so they could get her up to an operating room and begin to repair the damage.

While waiting on the x-rays to develop, and the bleeding was starting to get under control, now that she was receiving transfusions, a doctor was making quick work to treat the wounds on her head and face by cleaning them with a sterile solution and applying butterfly bandages to suture them closed.

Almost as soon as this job was finished, a nurse ran in with the films they had been waiting on. She placed them up on the board, and flicked the light on behind it. The small team gathered around, all collectively holding their breath. It was just as they had feared.

As the X-rays showed, a bullet was lodged in Olivia's lung, causing it to have collapsed. The second bullet had now taken up residence in her spleen, having caused extensive damage along the way, resulting in severe internal bleeding.

“We need to get her up to an OR, now” the doctor said urgently.

“I've called the team of trauma surgeons, waiting to hear what OR we are assigned to.” was the nurse's reply.

“She doesn't have time for them to wait!” The doctor snapped. “We've already given her two units of blood.”

Suddenly, the phone on the wall rang, and it was snapped up quickly. It was the call they were waiting for.

“OR 3 is ready” The nurse said, breathing a sigh of relief.

The team quickly moved to transfer their patient to portable monitors for her journey to the operating room. Their part in saving her life was now over, and they could only hope that the fight they had seen in her would continue to stay strong, and she could pull through and survive this ordeal.

* * *

Upon her arrival in the operating room, Olivia was promptly transferred to the main monitors, and switched over to a ventilator. A fine hissing noise filled the room, signaling each measured breath that was provided to the officer whose prone form now lay on the sterile table.

An anesthesiologist stepped in, and applied the correct dosage of medication through the intravenous line, ensuring that the patient would remain asleep throughout the procedure. Sterile drapes were placed over her body, with openings over where the surgery would be taking place.

Seeing as how the damage was so extensive, a team of two trauma surgeons would be working in tandem to remove the bullets and repair the damage caused by them. One would focus on the area of the lung, the other on the abdomen. They hoped that by working together they could reduce the time that the woman would have to be kept under on anesthesia, already a risk considering she hadn't regained consciousness since her arrival.

A quick check of the patient's vitals allowed the anesthesiologist to confirm that is was safe to begin. He hung a fresh bag of saline to the IV line, and ensured that the blood supply was in order. All who were going into this procedure knew that while they were working quickly and efficiently, it would be a time consuming process, and take several hours.

Soft music filtered through the room as the surgeons took their place, scalpels in hand. They had each studied the X-rays and knew what they were getting into, they only hoped they would be successful.

* * *

The crowd in the waiting room quieted when a nurse emerged from the double doors yet again and headed in the direction of Captain Cragen and his detectives. Since it appeared for all intents and purposes that Elliot was still unresponsive, she chose to address Olivia's superior officer.

“Detective Benson has just been taken to surgery.” she announced. “Given the extent of her injuries, we anticipate this will last several hours. You are welcome to wait here, or I can show you to a more comfortable area in the surgical waiting room upstairs.”

Looking around at one another, the small group made the collective decision to wait in quieter surroundings. The other officers milling about chose to remain in the ER, affording a modicum of space and privacy to Olivia's fellow squad members.

Trevor Langan lingered in the background, unsure of what to do. He started to turn away he heard Detective Tutuola call out him.

“You coming, Langan?”

Shocked, he turned around to face the man. He waited for him to continue.

“We may not be on the same side, but this wasn't your fault.”

Trevor was momentarily moved by the man's kind words, unusual to be directed toward someone he normally despised. That faded away with Fin's final words before he turned and walked away.

“Besides. Since it was your client who's to blame for this whole mess, and given the fact you were a witness to it all, IAB is going to want to question your ass, too.”

They all followed the nurse as she led them to a bank of elevators, then upstairs to a small lounge. With its muted lighting and quieter setting, it already provided a much better environment than where they had been waiting previously. Rather than be dependent on the horrid vending machines, a table sat in the corner, boasting a coffeepot and hot water. Tea bags, creamers, and sweeteners were provided nearby. There were several couches scattered throughout the room, and a TV was available at the far end, its volume set to low.

By the window, there was a table and two chairs.

Upon seeing this, Lieutenant Tucker gestured to the table with his hand, and spoke to Captain Cragen.

“Would it be all right with you if one of my men from IAB came and questioned your detectives here about the events of today? I can't do it, seeing as how I'm going to need to be questioned myself.”

Don Cragen nodded before speaking. “That would be fine, although I don't know how much information you're going to get out of Stabler.”

Both men turned in unison to the detective in question. At his son's urging he had taken a seat on one of the sofas in the room, and was now staring at the TV blankly.

“Normally you know I would be on his case about having fired his weapon. It's my job. With what I witnessed today, I can't even begin to imagine what he's going through. I'll suggest to Sergeant Clark to leave the questioning of Stabler for last.”

Cragen nodded his agreement, and shook hands with the Lieutenant before they parted ways. Tucker was on his way to make the necessary phone calls to IAB, Cragen had his squad to take care of.

He helped himself to a cup of coffee, then joined Fin and Munch. Sitting down on a sofa across from them, he checked in with how they were doing.

“Holding our own, Cap.” Munch said. “I'm guessing by your conversation with Tucker, that the rat squad will be descending soon to take our statements?”

“You know that they have to, John.” Cragen replied. “Anytime there is an officer involved shooting...” he let his voice trail off, unable to continue.

They sat in silence for a bit, drinking the bitter coffee. Another twenty minutes passed before John spoke up.

“How can it be that it's only been two hours since we arrived here at the hospital? It feels like we've been waiting forever.”

Misinterpreting his statement, and on pins and needles himself, Fin snapped back at his partner.

“You think you're tired of waiting? How do you think _Olivia_ feels? She's the one who is fightin' for her life in all this.”

Immediately regretting his harsh words, Fin gave his friend an apologetic smile, which was answered with an understanding nod of the head.

They sat quietly for a while, sipping their coffee, and waiting for Ed Tucker to return with IAB in tow. None of them were paying attention to what was on the television. It droned on quietly in the background.

Suddenly, a shout broke through the silence, startling all who were seated in the quiet lounge. Even Elliot was forced from his haze to turn his attention to the doorway where the panicked voice had come from.

“Dickie!” The voice cried, as Kathy Stabler rushed into the room, hurrying to embrace her son. “Are you all right? Let me look at you.”

She ran her hands over her son's face, anxiously searching for any sign of injury. Richard, pulled out of her grasp, turning to face one of the three girls who had followed his mother in the room in frustration.

“Liz. I told you not to tell mom yet. What gives?”

“I'm sorry” she told her twin. “Mom walked into the room when I was on a three-way call with Maureen and Kathleen, trying to get a ride here. I had no choice but to tell her.”

His sisters were each holding a bag in their hands, which he guessed held the change of clothes for himself and his father that he had asked for. Rather than extend their arms to hand them off to him, though, they were focused on something else instead.

Kathy Stabler's relief at finding her son alive, whole, and unharmed had quickly turned to rage. She felt her body shaking with the enormity of it all, and turned to unleash it all on the man who she deemed responsible for her son being involved in such a dangerous situation today. So consumed was she in her anger, that she acted and spoke without thinking.

“HOW COULD YOU??” she cried out, slapping her estranged husband across the face as she shouted the words.

Elliot made no move to defend himself against the physical attack. He just stood there, and accepted the blows.

Having not gotten a response, Kathy chose to pound her fists against Elliot's chest, still ranting.

“Have you no care at all for our son's well being? How could you let him be in the same space as a dangerous criminal? Why didn't you just give him the keys and let him go on his way? Were you so concerned with your precious _Olivia_ that you couldn't be bothered to worry about your son?”

Upon hearing Olivia's name being spoken, Elliot's head snapped up, meeting the gaze of the woman who stood before him. She stepped back in shock, unprepared to see the tears in his eyes. However instead of feeling sympathy, this only seemed to further incite her anger.

“Oh, you'll cry for _Olivia_ , but not for our marriage? Not for your son, who could have been injured today? Have you even noticed the blood on your son's clothes? Did you even bother to get him checked out to see if he was hurt?”

“MOM! STOP!” Dickie cried out, unable to listen to any more.

“Don't raise your voice to me, young man.” Kathy turned to admonish her son for his disrespectful tone.

“I'm sorry, but you don't get to yell at me, or at dad. Not for this. Not when you weren't there today. You don't know what he did. What Olivia did.” He wiped away a tear of his own as he thought about the events of the day, about the harm he and his father were made to inflict on the woman. He thought about what he had witnessed from his hiding place within the Captain's office, something he had yet to tell anyone. Before he could speak again, a nurse came into the room.

“I'm going to have to ask you to lower your voices.” she announced to the group as a whole, before turning to address Kathy personally. “Ma'am if you don't get yourself under control, I'm going to have to ask you leave the premises. I will call security if I have to.” With that warning given, she turned and left.

The Stabler children moved further into the lounge, the girls finding seats on one of the sofas. They wanted to hear their brother's side of the story, find out just what had happened today. He had given a brief description to his sister, Liz, when he had called earlier. All he had said was that he was involved in a hostage situation while at the police station, and that Olivia had been severely injured as a result.

He was about to speak when Ed Tucker walked into the room, flanked by another man, Sergeant Clark from IAB. Having heard the outburst from down the hall just as they had gotten off the elevators, they knew they were walking into an already tense situation. Sergeant Clark was the first to speak. Rather than speaking to any one individual, he opted to address the room as a whole.

“Sorry for interrupting. As most of you know, I'm here from IAB to speak to you about the events of today. I know you are all worried about Detective Benson, so I will try my best to keep my questions as brief as possible.”

He then crossed the room to where the table and chairs sat. While not providing a ton of privacy, it would serve its purpose as a place to interview the witnesses to today's events. Further statements would need to be taken in detail, but for now they could get the basics out of the way, while the images were fresh in their minds. He knew that none of them would be willing to leave the hospital to give a statement down at the station.

As he was setting up, he took notice of the two duffel bags held by the young women standing in the room, as well as the bloody clothing worn by Detective Stabler and the young man he assumed could only be his son. Choosing to rule on the side of compassion, he walked over to speak to them.

“Why don't the two of you get changed into something more comfortable, then we can talk? Detective Stabler, I don't think I need to remind you that I will need you to save your clothing for the purpose of securing evidence.”

He passed them a few clear plastic bags to put their bloodied clothing in, and encouraged them to find the nearest restroom to get cleaned up. Elliot, though still in a daze, took hold of the bag that was passed to him, and mechanically followed his son out of the room.

* * *

Thanks to the kindness of one of the nurses, Elliot and Dickie were shown to a private restroom on the floor. It had a built in shower, reserved for use by family members who could not afford a hotel, and needed to stay at the hospital on overnights with their loved ones. In addition to the facilities provided, there was a small changing area, easily providing enough space for two people to change clothes comfortably.

Turning his back on his father, Dickie shed his bloodied shirt, and placed it in the plastic bag he had been provided with. He grabbed a washcloth, and after wetting it thoroughly at the sink, used it to swipe against his face, chest, and arms. Despite all his efforts to feel clean, it all seemed to be in vain. He could still feel the metal of the gun against his temple, the grip of the knife in his fist. He could still hear the echo of the gunfire in his ears, still feel her blood bubbling up against his palms as he tried to desperately keep it within her body.

After using the washcloth, he pulled out a clean shirt from the bag, and pulled it on over his head. Turning to face his father, his heart sank.

Standing motionless in the center of the room, his left hand clutching at the handle of his duffel, Elliot stood still as a statue. Walking over to his father, he took the duffel out of his hand, and set it down on the chair next to him. He tried speaking to him, hoping to coax him out of his trance-like state.

“Dad? Can you hear me? You can get changed now.”

No response.

Sighing, but not really losing patience with him, Dickie decided to take matters into his own hands, even though it meant a reversal of roles for father and son. Raising both hands, he gently unbuttoned his father's shirt, and removed it along with is tie. Placing both garments in one of the clear plastic bags, he turned to wet another washcloth. He tried placing it in his dad's hand, and it was as though this action awoke something in him. He turned his head and made eye contact with his son.

“Dick-er- Richard, what are you doing here?” he questioned.

“It's okay dad. You can call me Dickie if you want. I don't mind.” The teen replied. After the events of today, he wasn't going to dispute over something as simple as a nickname. He went on to explain to his father.

“I got in touch with Liz, asking her to bring a change of clothes. I didn't mean for mom to find out, I'm really sorry about that.”

“It's not your fault. She was going to find out anyway.” Elliot said. “I suppose I should get changed and get back out there. I don't want to miss any news on Olivia.”

With that, he used the washcloth to wipe the blood from his skin, and changed his clothes quickly. As he watched his father clean up, Dickie didn't have the heart to break it to him that it had only been about forty-five minutes since Olivia had been taken into surgery. It would still be awhile before they heard anything. At least he hoped so. He didn't know much about medical things, but he did know that the longer she was in surgery, that meant she was still alive.

In fresh clothing, father and son walked back into the lounge area, and handed off their bloodied clothes to the IAB Sergeant. Sergeant Clark had spent the time in their absence with his hands full trying to explain to Kathy Stabler that her son wasn't a suspect in the investigation, and also wasn't considered a minor by New York State law. Therefore, she had no rights to insist that she remain present while he described his version of the events that had happened at the precinct today. The only way she could be there was if he specifically were to request it.

Guiding the teen to a chair, Sergeant Clark began to speak to him.

“My name is Sergeant Douglas Clark, but please, feel free to call me Doug. I'm going to try my hardest to keep these questions as informal as possible, to try and keep you comfortable. Please, if you need to stop for any reason, let me know, and we can take a break.”

Dickie nodded as he took a seat. He pushed the chair back from the table slightly, allowing his legs to stretch out some. Feeling somewhat hesitant, he asked the man in front of him a question.

“Can I have something to drink, please?”

The man's voice was kind as he answered.

“That's fine, son. Do you want to get it yourself? We can wait a minute before we get started.”

Dickie shook his head, instead choosing to seek out his twin sister, meeting her eyes across the room. Seeing the question in his eyes, she nodded her confirmation and left the room quietly to go and get him something from one of the vending machines down the hall. After she left, he refocused his attention on the man sitting in front of him, getting comfortable in his chair.

Sensing the teen's anxiety, Doug questioned him once again.

“Would you rather go someplace with more privacy? I can ask one of the nurses if there is a conference room that we can use.”

Again the teen shook his head to indicate the negative. He didn't mind if his words were heard by those sitting in the room. Save for his mother and sisters, they had all been present for the day's events anyway. It wasn't as though he would reveal anything terribly shocking.

His sister came back into the room, and came over and placed a can of soda in front of him. He gave her a smile of thanks, opened the beverage, and took a sip. Feeling much calmer, he took a deep breath and began his narrative.

He led the IAB Sergeant through his version of the day, from the moment he came into the squad room demanding his father's car keys. This part made him feel ashamed, for he knew how immature and disrespectful it made him look. He explained the moment Stevens had come barreling out of interrogation, attacking the uniformed officer, and grabbing him roughly by the arm, pushing the barrel of the gun into his temple. When he got to this part, he had to force himself to ignore the gasp from his mother and sisters. He knew they were concerned, but had to force himself to continue.

Taking another sip of his soda, he went on to tell of how his father had desperately pleaded for his life, even begging to take his place. He told of how instead of taking his father up on his offer of self-sacrifice, he was made to instead offer up Olivia.

He found it harder to control his emotions as he detailed the way his father was made to hold Olivia at gunpoint, how she guided the gun so that it was pointing at her own heart. Even the way she seemingly encouraged his father to strike her, not just once, but twice.

It was at this moment that Dickie heard his mother mutter something disparagingly about Olivia under her breath, and he had to hold his own tongue to avoid saying something back in return. That he could be explaining this story in such intricate detail about the woman who was responsible for saving his very life, and she could still hold such bitterness in her heart towards her, baffled him.

He was getting to the part of the story that was hardest to tell. The part where Stevens had ordered him to cut Olivia.

Playing with the tab on his now empty soda can, he looked at the floor as opposed to the man across from him. He could feel all eyes in the room on him as he told of how Stevens had put the knife in his palm and raised their joined hands to Olivia's face. With a shaking voice, he said.

“...And she's standing there, with her face already beaten from before, bleeding from a cut on her face that _I'm_ responsible for, and she's trying to calm _me_ down. She talked to me about something she knew would deliberately upset me, like she was trying to make me angry on purpose. It was as if she _wanted_ me to cut her.” He paused for a moment to collect himself when he heard a soft voice speak from across the room.

“She did.”

Every head turned in the direction of the words. It was the first Elliot had spoken in the room since he had arrived, save for his private conversation with his son when changing clothes, and having volunteered to donate blood. Curious now, they waited to see what he had to say.

Standing and walking over to his son, he put a palm on the side of his head as he spoke. It was only as he said the words aloud that he realized the words he was using to soothe his son were also having an effect to soothe his own troubled soul.

“She was willing to do whatever it took to get you out of there safely. No matter what the cost to her. I didn't want to admit it to myself, but I could tell by the look in her eyes that she would have stopped me from sacrificing myself to that man and taking your place. She had already made up her mind that it would be her.”

“All hail Saint Olivia” muttered Kathy. “But where is she now that you need her? Why isn't she here now to help?”

“Because I shot her!” Elliot shouted at the woman who he once believed he would be married to forever.

“She got our son to safety. With a gun at her own head, and without the use of her hands, she launched a physical attack! She dropped to the ground to give me a clear shot, but just as I fired, he pulled her up by the hair and used her body as a shield.”

He took deep gasping breaths as tears poured unchecked from his eyes. The floodgates had opened, and all his emotions were pouring forth. Licking his lips, he continued.

“I watched as not just one, but two bullets from my gun hit her. I stood there and did nothing as he slammed her head into a desk, and tossed her to the ground as though she were nothing more than a piece of trash to him.”

The air in the room was getting more emotional, recalling the last moments of the tense hostage situation. Even Elliot's daughters were starting to cry, realizing just how difficult the day had been for their father and brother.

The only person in the room who did not seem effected was Kathy. She stood with her arms folded, looking almost bored as she heard the news. It was Dickie who broke the silence.

“I knew all this already, dad.” He said softly, his voice just above a whisper. All eyes in the room turned back to him.

Taking a deep breath, he continued.

“When Olivia told me to go into the Captain's office and hide, I followed her instructions. I did hide Dad, I promise. But I didn't stay hidden.”

He paused in his explanation to glance between Doug Clark and his father. This was the part he hated having to tell.

“I crawled out from under the desk and crept over to the window by the door. I moved the blinds aside ever so slightly so I could take a peek out.”

Liz walked over to her twin and put a reassuring arm on his shoulder, urging him to continue with his story.

“I heard and saw everything. I saw Olivia get in that man's face, and heard her taunt him; saw him put both hands on her throat to choke her.”

Now it was Dickie who was getting choked up as he got to this part of the story.

“I heard her call out for you dad, but it wasn't as if she was calling for help or to be rescued. She just shouted your name. She wanted you to shoot, didn't she?”

Dickie paused to look at his father, and once again it was like the two were having a private conversation, despite being in a room filled with people.

“She did, son.” Elliot rasped softly. It was as if he was having trouble believing his own words. Then he remembered Olivia's words to him earlier in the day, and smiled despite it all.

  
“What is it, dad?” This time it was Maureen who questioned him.

“I was just remembering. Right before we made the trade, Olivia whispered something in my ear. I had pistol whipped her not just once, but twice, and still her main concern was on getting a message across to me about keeping you safe, Dickie.”

“What did she say?” the question came from Doug Clark. “I'm sorry, but it's important I know this information for the investigation.”

Elliot closed his eyes for a moment, the words washing over him once again. The memory was still very fresh, and he knew the words she had spoken then, much like when she had been begging for a promise from him would continue to haunt him for some time.

“She said...” Elliot paused to collect himself. “She said, and I quote: ' _Once the trade is made, and Dickie is safe, you take this bastard out. Don't let him walk out of here. You take that shot. Even if the only way to take it is through me'.”_

Everyone was quiet while the words sunk in. It was Kathy who broke the silence.

“Then why didn't you just shoot her on the spot, if it would have saved our son then and there? Why make him suffer longer?” Her voice was cold, and held no trace of emotion.

All eyes turned to face the woman who all afternoon had done nothing but continue to spew words of bitterness and venom. Thinking and hoping they had heard the worst she could possibly say or do, they were all once again shocked at her next actions.

“This is the last straw Elliot. I'm through with what you have continually done to this family.”

Reaching into the bag she had brought with her, she withdrew a manilla envelope and a pen. Holding the items out to the man who stood in front of her she spoke again.

“I want you to sign these, and I'm having the custody arrangement modified. By reasons of child endangerment, as you so obviously demonstrated today, I'm filing for full custody of Eli.” she opened her mouth to continue but was interrupted when another voice in the room spoke aloud.

“He's not signing anything.”

It was Trevor Langan who stepped forward this time pushing the envelope back toward the woman who held it. He might spend the majority of his days on opposite sides of the law than the detectives, but he'd be damned if he would stand by and let one of them get railroaded into a divorce while under extreme emotional distress.

He was about to continue when a nurse stepped into the lounge yet again.

“Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the hospital. People are complaining. This is not the time or place to be having such private discussions. Now, please, take your things and go.”

“Fine.” Kathy said, fuming. “Girls, Dickie, lets go.”

Each of her daughters chose to look away, avoiding all eye contact. It was Kathleen who spoke up.

“We want to stay with Dad. Wait to see how Olivia is doing. I'm sorry, Mom.”

Kathy Stabler absorbed the words, then turned to her son.

“Fine. Dickie, you're coming with me. You've had a rough day, you need to get home.”

“No, mom, I'm not.” The boy replied softly. “I want to stay with dad, too.” As if to affirm his words, he took a step closer to his father, who put an arm around his shoulders in a show of support.

“We'll be home later.” Kathleen added, almost as if an afterthought.

“Not me. I'm staying with dad tonight.” This came from Dickie.

“Your father doesn't _have_ any place to stay.” Kathy spat back, an evil smirk on her face.

Realization dawned across Elliot's features, as he remembered an earlier conversation with Olivia in the cribs this morning, something that seemed so long ago now.

“ _You could never impose. I know I may have said it was for emergencies only when I gave it to you, but please, don't hesitate to use that key should you need a place to stay.”_

Then he recalled what she had said to him in their police sedan when they had gone to question Stevens, only to find him not at home. Her words had been so calming.

“ _Don't 'Liv' me. I didn't say one thing about coming over to my place and baring your soul, now, did I? No. I offered food, beer, and sports. All things that you will need to unwind after this oh-so-lovely day we are having. Then I will offer you my spare room, and you will take it, because if I find out you are crashing in the cribs again tonight, I will kick your ass_.”

Reassured by these flashes of memory, he turned to face the woman he once called his wife, and stated with confidence.   
  


“I always have somewhere to stay.”

* * *

Kathy went furious when she heard these words, and went to yell at him again.

“You cheated on me? How dare you! How could you do that to me, to our family! You-” she paused in her rant to catch her breath.

It was then that Elliot answered her quietly.

“No. I never cheated on you. If you could even think that, then I guess you never really knew me at all.”

He looked over her shoulder to where two security officers had entered the room and approached the woman who was the main cause of all the disturbance on the floor. Nodding to her, he stepped away and went back to stand with his children.

“Goodbye, Kathy.” He spoke softly as he turned away. He couldn't bear to watch as security escorted her out of the hospital.

* * *

Four hours. It had been four hours since Olivia had been taken into surgery. Two hours ago, a nurse had come into the room and told them that the surgeons had found more extensive internal damage than originally anticipated, and that the removal of the bullets was proving to be a much more delicate procedure.

The group had been quiet for a while, with no one really able to to think of anything to say. Sergeant Clark, having had the opportunity to question everyone involved, had excused himself from the group to go and file his report.

The sound of someone's stomach rumbling filled the room, breaking the silence. Everyone just looked at one another. It was Munch who started to chuckle first, with the others quickly joining in. After the gentle laughter died down, it was Captain Cragen who spoke up.

“I think we're all going to be waiting for awhile yet. And I'm betting none of us want to leave and go to the cafeteria. Why don't I go see if one of the nurses will let us order in some sandwiches from a nearby deli and have them delivered here to the hospital?”

Everyone, with the exception of Elliot, nodded their approval.

It seemed that Elliot had withdrawn into himself once again. He was vaguely aware of his kids still being in the room, he could hear quiet conversations going on around him, but his thoughts were focused on Olivia. The longer she was in surgery, the more worried he became.

The Captain came back into the room, having spoken with the nurse. Raising his hand to gather the attention of the group, he indicated the menus he was holding.

“The nurse was kind enough to give me this. She said it was fine if we ordered in some food for delivery. All she asked was that we clean up after ourselves, which I think goes without saying.”

Fin, Munch, and Elliot's children all stood and walked over to where the Captain stood, so they could look at what menus were being offered. Trevor had left about an hour ago, promising he would call to check in for updates on Olivia's condition. He hadn't felt comfortable staying any longer, almost feeling like an intruder with the otherwise close-knit group.

After a small discussion, it was decided upon that sandwiches would be the easiest and least messy food choice for them to have. The children went ahead and ordered a meal for their father, hoping that when it arrived, they would be able to coax him into eating some of it.

Once the order was placed, the group all settled in to get comfortable again, when Elliot stood. Confused, the others all looked at him curiously.

  
“I can't just sit here doing nothing.” He explained. “I'll be back soon. Cap, if there is any word on Olivia, you can find me in the chapel.”

Don Cragen nodded his understanding.

Elliot was almost to the door when he stopped suddenly as though something just occurred to him. He reached into his pocket for his wallet.

“Wait – before I forget. I think I heard you mention something about food. How much money do you need for my kids share?” He opened the leather folder, searching for bills.

“It's taken care of, Elliot.” his captain assured him. “Go. Do what you need to take care of yourself. We'll find you if we hear any news.”

Elliot thanked him, then turned to leave the room, heading in the direction of the hospital's chapel, hoping he could find some peace there.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Elliot returned from the chapel. Whatever had gone on in that room, seemed to have given him an air of peace. There was a quiet calm about him now, and some of the tension appeared to have left his body.

Upon seeing their father, his children immediately brought him over the food they had set aside for him. It wasn't much, just half of a turkey sub and a bottled iced tea. They had gathered more information from their dad's co-workers, and realized that he hadn't eaten since breakfast. Save for the juice and cookies he had mechanically choked down after giving blood which, as Dickie pointed out, didn't really count as eating.

Elliot tried to object to the food, saying that he wasn't hungry, but realized it was a lost cause to fight. He could maybe argue against one of them, but four of his kids ganging up on him? He didn't stand a chance. Not to mention that he was also getting the evil eye from his Captain, Fin, and Munch as well. Better to just shut up and eat. Pick his battles. He knew that he would undoubtedly be in for another battle later on when they would try and make him leave the hospital to let Olivia rest. Better for him to try and be agreeable now, so he had the energy to hold his ground for when the argument would really count.

He had just finished his sandwich and was drinking the last of his tea when two surgeons in bloodied scrubs walked into the lounge. They both looked exhausted, and had guarded expressions on their faces.

The light conversation in the room came to a standstill as all eyes turned on the newcomers. Everyone stood as a collective unit and gathered around in a huddle to hear the news they had been waiting for.

The surgeons were merciful, and chose to allay their worst fears right off the bat.

“Detective Benson made it through the operation, and is being closely monitored in recovery as we speak.”

The relief in the room was palpable, as the collective breath they had all been holding was let go. They each had their share of questions, but all cast their eyes back to the men who had just given them this news, eager to hear more word about their friend.

“We're sorry that it took so long to come and give you news, but we found out the damage was more extensive than it appeared on the initial X-rays.”

With a gesture of his hand, the taller of the two men deferred to his colleague.

“I was in charge of removing the bullet and its fragments from Detective Benson's abdomen. It lodged in her spleen, which we did have to remove. However there was additional internal bleeding in the surrounding tissues. We had to work to cauterize the surrounding areas in order to get the blood loss under control.”

The doctor paused to allow the group to process that information before continuing.

“We will need to watch her closely, as she is at high risk for infection. We are giving her antibiotics intravenously to keep the risk low.”

After he had finished explaining his part in Olivia's surgery, he deferred to the man standing next to him. This man had had the more demanding task of extricating the bullet that had become embedded in her lung. He stepped forward when it was his turn to speak.

“I was the doctor in charge of repairing the damage to Detective Benson's left lung.” he started to say.

“This situation is a bit more complicated than the other gunshot wound.”

He paused for a moment, then went on to explain in detail.

“When the bullet struck her in the lung, it collapsed shortly after. Despite attempts to re-inflate it by emergency personnel in the field, we couldn't get it to fully respond until we intervened surgically. The damage was extensive, and took a long time to repair.”

The man went on to describe how they placed a chest tube to assist with keeping the lung inflated. To further aid her breathing, they were keeping her on a ventilator. The most shocking news of all: due to the extent of her injuries, and to give her body the best opportunity to heal, they had placed her in a medically induced coma. With time, they would gradually wean her off the medications that kept her sedated to see if she would awaken. For now, she still remained in critical condition.

“If she makes it through the next 48 hours without any unforeseen complications, we might be able to upgrade her condition to 'guarded'. For now, she will receive round-the-clock care and monitoring in the intensive care unit.”

The doctors concluded their explanation detailing Olivia's complicated surgery and then asked if anyone had any questions. No one was surprised when it was Elliot who spoke up first.

“Coma? She will wake up though, right?” His voice shook with the anxiety he felt.

The two doctors exchanged a glance, a moment that did not go unnoticed by Elliot or the others in the room. Why weren't they automatically giving assurances? Elliot pressed them again.

“I said, she _will_ wake up on her own, won't she?”

Looking back and forth between the two men, he felt his temper begin to flare. Why couldn't they give him a straight answer? His next question was spoken with a voice so deathly quiet that all in the room had to strain to hear.

“Yes, or no. Will. She. Wake. Up. ?”

He drew himself up to his full height, staring the two doctors down with an intensity not quite designed to intimidate, but to demand answers.

“We can't say for certain.”

The elder of the two spoke up. He was the one who had operated on Olivia's lung. Drawing his hand across his hair to remove his surgical cap, he held it in his hand for a moment, then let the arm fall loosely at his side. He took a deep breath and broached the subject they had been trying to avoid.

“I'm sorry I can't give you better news, or something more detailed. The truth of the matter is, its different for every patient. Detective Benson, is struggling to breathe on her own right now. She doesn't respond to painful stimuli, nor does she respond to light and sound.”

He gave them a moment to digest this news, then continued.

“This might be temporary, a result of the trauma of the injuries themselves. That is why we are closely watching her. That is also why we have placed her on the ventilator, to give her body the chance it needs to heal. We'll be able to assess her again in 48 hours.”

While in shock, everyone was seemingly satisfied with their explanation. Yes, they had all been hoping for better news. But Olivia had survived the surgery, so they were grateful for that. They had to believe in her, that she would continue to prove just how strong she was, and survive the recovery.

“I want to see her.”

Again, all heads turned in Elliot's direction when he spoke. The tone of his voice made it clear that this was not a request.

“I'm sorry sir -”

“No. No apologies. I need for you to let me see her. Just for five minutes...one minute, even. I can't walk out of this hospital tonight without seeing with my own eyes that she made it through the surgery.”

The doctors conferred briefly with one another, then turned back to face the man who stood before them. This time, it was the man who had worked tirelessly to control Olivia's internal bleeding who addressed Elliot.

“You're her next of kin, correct?”

At Elliot's terse nod, he conceded that perhaps this once, it would be all right to go against protocol. Typically, visitors were not permitted in the recovery room, but given the circumstances of this situation, he was willing to make an exception.

“All right...but for a few minutes, no more.” The man said, before adding as an afterthought “Then I want you all to go home and get some rest. We will allow limited visitors to see her in ICU in the morning.”

The group each took their turns shaking hands with the surgeons, thanking them for their care of their friend and co-worker. Elliot's daughters, now having heard that Olivia had made it safely through surgery, were headed home. Dickie however, had chosen to remain with his father. He planned to accompany him back to Olivia's apartment to stay overnight, and would go home in the morning, most likely after morning visiting hours.

Shortly after Elliot's daughters had left, Captain Cragen, Fin, and Munch, also said their farewells. They each gave Elliot a message for Olivia, and promised they would return at some point the next day to visit her themselves in person. Naturally, they promised to keep in touch via text message and phone calls to stay alert as to her condition. Elliot gave his word that, as next of kin, he would add them to the approved list of individuals who could call to check in for updates.

Once it was just father and son alone in the now quiet lounge, Elliot paced the floor anxiously while he waited for the nurse to come collect him and take him to see Olivia. So lost was he in his thoughts, that he didn't hear Dickie speak to him. His son had to call out to him twice to get his attention.

“Dad...Dad!”

He turned to seek out his son, a question on his face.

“Will you...will you tell Olivia I'm sorry? And that I hope she feels better soon?” Dickie paused, then chastised his own words. “That probably sounds so stupid.”

Bringing his arms around his son to hold him in an embrace, Elliot answered him.

“It doesn't sound stupid at all. I'll tell her. And you can tell her yourself tomorrow, if you want.”

Dickie, though grateful for what his father was offering, couldn't help but be puzzled.

“But, dad. I'm only seventeen. Don't you have to be at least eighteen to visit a patient in the ICU if you aren't family?”

“You do. But this situation is a special circumstance. I'm Olivia's next of kin, which means I have a say in who can and cannot visit her. It kind of means I'm like her family. And since _you're_ my family...” Elliot trailed off, hoping his explanation would make sense.

“I get it dad. And I do want to see her. I just don't know if I can see her looking like...that” Dickie broke off from his sentence, unsure of how to finish it.

“She won't look as bad as the last time you saw her, son. It might be a bit scary, as I'm sure there will be lots of machines, and some tubes and wires. But all the blood you saw earlier today will be gone. I know you don't ever want to see her like that again. _I_ never want to see her like that again.”

Elliot opened his mouth to continue, but turned his head toward the door when he heard someone call his name.

“Mr. Stabler?” a nurse, different than the one who had proven to be so helpful throughout the day, was standing in the entry to the lounge.

“I can take you to see Detective Benson now.”

Looking back, he received a nod of encouragement, as Dickie started to move about the room to gather their things. Elliot turned to follow the nurse out of the room. As she led the way to Olivia, he couldn't help but replay the last few moments of his conversation with his son in his mind. What would it be like when he finally saw her? Would he be able to erase the haunting images of the day that still flooded his mind?

* * *

The recovery room was place filled with activity, and if he was being honest with himself, noisier than he expected. The sounds of monitors, IV drips, phones ringing and a litany of other noises echoed throughout. The shoe's on the feet of the nurses squeaked as they walked across the tile floor.

The nurse led him to the rear of the room, where a curtain had been drawn around a gurney. Pushing the curtain back, she beckoned him to come closer. With tentative steps, Elliot stepped closer to the bed, his heart catching in his throat when he first laid eyes on the form of his partner lying there, unresponsive.

Her eyes were closed, her face ashen, save for the pattern of bruises that mottled her skin. Butterfly bandages had been placed on the cut above her brow, and a clear sterile bandage had been placed over the one that sat on her cheek. A tube was down her throat, attached to the ventilator that was near her bedside, forcing measured breaths into her lungs at an even and steady pace. Behind the bed, a monitor counted out the beats of her heart, rising and falling in a series of peaks and valleys. Underneath the gown, he could make out where tubes protruded from her body, and he could only guess that they were providing drainage of some sort from the surgical incisions.

“Oh...Liv” he whispered, reaching out to touch her with a shaking hand.

His fingers wrapped around her left hand, the only part of her available that wasn't attached to some sort of wires or monitors. He startled at first, not having expected its warmth, but finding comfort in it nonetheless.

“I don't have long, Liv. They're going to kick me out soon. But I just had to see you.”

He paused for a moment, feeling his emotions overtake him, tears catching in his throat.

“What you did – what you did today, I don't have words. You risked everything so my son would be safe, and I was powerless to help you both.”

He moved so that he was now holding her hand in both of his. As he continued to struggle with his words.

  
“I look at you, the injuries on your face – and I know that I'm responsible. Just like I'm responsible for you lying here. You could have died today, and it would have been all my fault.”

He closed his eyes, remembering those final moments in the squad room, her gasping pleas as she tried to get that promise from him. He had sworn to keep it, but was doing a poor job of it so far.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the nurse approaching. Knowing that his time was about to be up, he leaned close to Olivia to speak to her once more before he was asked to leave.

“I have to go for now, Liv. I'll be back tomorrow. You rest and focus on getting better. I'll work on keeping my promise.”

Having said what he needed to say, he brought her hand – still clutched in both of his – up to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles before laying it back down beside her on the bed. Raising a hand to her face, he brushed her hair off her brow, trailing his fingers along her cheek, before stepping away and going off in search of his son.

* * *

They arrived at Olivia's a short time later, Elliot letting them through both the security door and into her apartment with the keys on his chain. Dickie observed this quietly, but chose to say nothing. It did strike him odd that his father would have keys to an apartment that wasn't his. One belonging to his female partner, no less. Finally, curiosity got the better of him, and he asked the question that was foremost on his mind.

“Dad?”

Elliot, having moved some items aside on the couch so they could set their duffel bags down, turned to look at his son. He raised his eyebrows, indicating he should continue with his question.

“Why is it that you have keys to Olivia's place on your key chain, and how is it that you know she wouldn't mind us staying here?”

Elliot took a deep breath as he considered his son's question. He wasn't offended by what had been asked, in fact to those who didn't understand the situation between the partners, it was perfectly reasonable to understand why the boy was so curious.

“I've had this key since way back in our second year of partnership. She had locked herself out of her apartment, and had to wait two hours for her super to let her back in. That night, she gave me a copy of the key so that would never happen again.”

“Makes sense. Have you ever used it before tonight?” Dickie asked, his eyes searching his father's for the truth.

“A couple of occasions. Once when she had sprained her ankle chasing a perp, and was forced by the captain to take a couple days off work. She talked me into bringing a few files over so she could stay caught up on the cases.”

Dickie absorbed the information his father was telling him. It seemed that him having the key really was for innocent purposes. Still, he couldn't help the doubt that had crept back into his mind now that they were in Olivia's apartment, and his father seemed so comfortable and at ease here.

“And you and Olivia have never slept together? Ever?”

Elliot made to deny the words, as he always did, when something occurred to him. His son picked up on his pause, and jumped on it. Rather than erupt in anger, it was with quiet resignation that he responded.

“You did, didn't you. I knew it.”

“It's not what you're thinking.” Elliot spoke out. He knew now an explanation was in order. “Why don't we sit down.”

“Ew, dad. I don't need the details.”

“Get your mind out of the gutter. It's not like that, I told you.”

They walked around to sit on the sofa, placing their bags on the floor. Sitting on opposite ends, they faced one another. Recalling in his mind's eye the story he was about to tell, Elliot couldn't help but smile at the memory.

“What's so funny, dad?”

“There was one time. The four of us – Olivia, Fin, Munch, and I – were driving back from an out of town conference. The weather was getting bad, and we were forced to pull over and stop for the night, because the highway was shut down.”

Elliot paused to allow his son to absorb this information. The fact that this night in question involved not just him and Olivia, but their two other co-workers as well, seemed to put him a little more at ease.

“We found a motel a little way off the beaten path, but it only had one room available. Given the fact that we were all exhausted, and knew we couldn't drive any further that night, we decided to take it.”

Elliot cracked a smile as he remembered the motel room in question. Comfortable accommodations it was not. They probably would have all been better off taking their chances sleeping in the car. Looking back at his son, he continued.

“So we get the keys, and as we walk into the room – figuring it would be your typical room with two beds and such – we all got the surprise of our lives. There was only one bed, a bench-like couch, and a recliner. That's it.”

Upon hearing the condition of the room as his father's story unfolded, Dickie started to grin. A four-star hotel this was not.

“Munch and Fin each made a mad dash for the couch and recliner, claiming that for themselves. At least they were gentlemen like enough to save the bed for Olivia.”

He went on to say how they went back to the front desk, in hopes of obtaining an extra cot, but only managed to walk away with the offerings of some extra blankets and a sleeping bag that had certainly seen better days.

“I got stuck with the sleeping bag. Then Olivia, bless her, said that I could share the bed with her. I thanked her for being generous, and made a move to crawl under the covers. She stopped me with a look, then said ' _I said I'd let you share the bed, I didn't say anything about sharing the covers. Get your sleeping bag and lay it on top of the quilt_.”

Elliot narrated to his son how Fin and Munch howled with laughter at her comment, and teased him mercilessly. How Olivia had threatened that if he wasn't happy with her offer, he could sleep on the floor.

By the time he had finished the tale, being sure to include the part about the loud snoring from Munch that prevented any sleep from taking place, both he and Dickie were laughing.

  
“So that” Elliot concluded, “Is the only time I have ever 'slept' with Olivia.”

Even after that explanation, and the story that he had told, Elliot was unprepared for the question that came next.

“And where will you sleep tonight? Where will I sleep?”

Yawning, the day's events finally catching up with him, Elliot responded.

“You will take the guest room. Yes, it's where I was originally going to stay tonight – somewhat against my will. Olivia did everything but threaten me if I didn't stay here tonight. She caught me staying in the cribs at the station last night, and offered me her spare room.”

“And where will you sleep, dad?”

“I'm going to take the couch.”

Dickie considered this for a moment, then spoke up.

“Why don't you take Olivia's room? I don't think she'd mind. So long as you don't steal her covers, that is.” He flashed his dad a cheeky grin, before sobering and continuing.

“Seriously dad, after everything you've been through today, you deserve a good night's sleep. You're not going to get that on a couch.”

Elliot nodded is agreement, then moved to grab an extra pillow and blankets from the hall closet. He would sleep on top of Olivia's comforter, as Dickie had suggested. So lost was he in his own thoughts once again that he hadn't noticed his son had asked him a question.

“I'm sorry. Did you ask me something?”

“Yeah, dad. I said, do you think Olivia would mind if I used her shower? I washed up a bit at the hospital, but I still don't feel right. I can still feel it on me.”

“Feel what?” Elliot asked, confused.

“Her blood.” Dickie whispered, ashamed to be reminding his dad of the gravity of the situation, and why they were here once more.

Swallowing back the sob of grief that threatened to escape, Elliot forced himself to answer.

“She wouldn't mind at all. There are extra towels in the hall closet.”

After the stories he had heard today, and later this evening, Dickie was no longer suspicious on how his father was aware of this detail. He simply went to the hall closet, and helped himself to one of Olivia's fluffy towels. Locking himself in the bathroom, he shed his clothing and stepped under the shower spray, washing away the remains of the day. Dressing in the extra change of comfortable clothes - a pair of track pants and a t-shirt – he exited the bathroom feeling the most calm he had been since before the events at the precinct earlier that day.

He checked in with his father again for permission, then looked in Olivia's fridge, and found a bottle of water. He was shocked at how bare it was. Bidding his father good-night, he took his bottle of water and padded into the guest room, closing the door behind him.

* * *

Alone at last, Elliot bypassed the fridge and headed instead to the cabinet where he knew Olivia kept her hard liquor. Grabbing the bottle of whiskey off its shelf, he decided against using a glass. Taking a few swigs directly from the bottle, he felt the warmth of the alcohol filter through his body, and the ever present shaking in his hands gradually stop. Not wanting to drink too much, he stopped after having had a few swallows, and replaced the cap. Putting the bottle back up in its cupboard, he left the kitchen.

He paused by the sofa to grab his duffel, then walked with tentative steps to Olivia's room. He had been in her bedroom before, but never without her presence in the apartment. He saw that her bed was already made, so he spread out the sheet he had taken from the linen closet and lay it across the bedspread. Placing his borrowed pillow on top, he placed the blanket at the bottom of the bed.

The task of finding himself a place to sleep done, Elliot walked into the bathroom. Standing under the shower spray, he couldn't help but see the faint traces of blood as they swirled around the drain at his feet. Curling his hands into fists, he was filled with the overwhelming urge to punch something. He wouldn't let himself strike out against the tiles surrounding him though – couldn't allow himself to destroy Olivia's property. He just stood there and let his body shake with an equal combination of rage and grief. At least here in the shower, he mused, the water would hide his tears.

When the last of the soap had been rinsed away, Elliot stepped onto the rug and proceeded to towel dry. He slipped into a pair of drawstring pants, and pulled a t-shirt over his head. Then, he turned the light out, and headed back Olivia's bedroom.

On his way there, he paused by her bookshelf in the living room when a photo caught his eye. It was of the two of them, taken sometime in the early years of their partnership. They had both been promoted, and the squad had had a small celebration in their shared honor. They were each wearing their dress uniforms, arms around each others shoulders. Both were beaming at the camera.

Elliot closed his hand around the frame, and brought it toward himself, clutching it toward his chest. Taking it with him into the bedroom, he set it on the bedside table. He wasn't optimistic about getting a great deal of restful sleep, but he set an alarm for the following morning anyway. He wanted to be up early enough that he could take Dickie to breakfast before they headed to the hospital.

Laying down in the bed, Elliot turned on his side so that he was facing the nightstand. This way, he had a direct view of the photo. The last coherent thought that passed through his mind before exhaustion claimed him were of his partner. The last words on his lips a softly spoken ' _Goodnight Liv_ ' .

He could almost swear he heard the words “ _Goodnight El_ ” being whispered into the night in reply.


	5. Limbo

Olivia Benson gradually came into awareness. She could tell by her surroundings that she was in a hospital, but for some reason, could not remember what had caused her to arrive here. She was only aware of one thing – that she was cold. Looking around, she was surprised to find a pair of sweats, t-shirt, and hoodie lying on the chair next to her bed. Figuring they were meant for her use, she got out of bed and slipped them on, folding the hospital issue gown she had been wearing and lying it over the back of the chair. Deciding she should probably call a nurse and alert someone to the fact she was awake, she turned back to the bed to reach for the call button. In doing so, she saw something that shocked her more than anything she had ever seen before in her entire life. For lying in the hospital bed she could swear she had just gotten out of, was a form she could recognize only as herself.

Taking a few tentative steps toward the bed, she looked on in an equal mix of shock and horror. With a shaking hand she reached out to touch her own body that lay prone on the hospital bed. She allowed herself to absorb the sound of the heart monitor, the wheezing echo of the ventilator, even the measured drips coming from the IV line. Her eyes searched the scene, trying to find a clue as to whatever it was that got her in this position to begin with.

Suddenly – as if in a flash of memory – a scene played out behind her eyes. She saw herself back in the squad room with Elliot. His son was there too, and there was also a crazed man with a gun. Stevens, her mind supplied after a moment. She saw each moment unfold, almost as if she were watching a movie. Watched herself as she lifted Elliot's hand to place his gun against her chest, as he struggled with his emotions before obeying the commands he was given and struck her, not just once, but twice.

She raised her hand to her cheek, as if she could feel the pain these echoes of memories reminded her of. She closed her eyes as they continued to play out, seeing behind closed lids this time as it was Elliot's son, Dickie who was forced to inflict pain.

Bit by bit, the images played themselves out, until finally they came to a startling close as she watched herself launch a physical attack on the man holding her at gunpoint. She watched as she stomped, shoved back her elbow, and threw her head back to make contact with his nose. She saw herself shout to her partner, then drop to the floor as a means of cover.

Then she could see, and almost feel the memory of Stevens' hands in her hair as he jerked her backward harshly. The look of sheer horror in Elliot's eyes as she became a shield for oncoming bullets. She felt her body jerk as one, then a second bullet entered her body.

She squeezed her eyes tight against the onslaught of memories, and when she opened them again, she found herself watching as she lay on the floor of the station, Elliot and Dickie poised above her, trying to staunch the flow of her blood. She watched, fascinated, as she saw herself desperately plead with Elliot, trying to get him to promise to not blame himself. That is the one thing she could remember clearly- not the pain, not the fear that she would die, but the fear that he would blame himself. She couldn't let him live with that.

The images faded and she was left once more alone in the room with her own body. Now that she had remembered what had brought her to this time and place, she needed to figure out what was going on. She gathered from all the machinery surrounding her body on the bed that she wasn't dead – at least not yet. She found herself wishing that Elliot was here for her to talk to, although she doubted they would be able to have a conversation. She reasoned that she must be stuck in some sort of limbo while her body recovered from its injuries. Either that, or she was on death's doorstep, waiting to cross over to the other side.

Desperate to see Elliot, Olivia tried to leave the room, but found she couldn't turn the handle. In fact, the further away she stepped from the body on the bed, the weaker the beats on the heart monitor seemed to become.

Still confused, but resigned to the fact that she was stuck here for now, Olivia grabbed an extra blanket that had been sitting at the foot of the bed. Wrapping it around her shoulders, she moved to sit in one of the chairs next to the bed. She drew her knees up to her chest, and tried her best to get comfortable. She was certain that Elliot would be by soon to come and visit her, or at the very least visit the Olivia that lay unconscious in the hospital bed. Maybe she could get him to explain things then. For now, she would just try to save her strength. She was feeling very weak and tired from trying to figure things out on her own.

* * *

Elliot was startled awake, sitting upright suddenly. He was gasping for air, still trapped within the clutches of his nightmare. Looking around at his surroundings, it took him a moment to realize where he was. Once it sunk in that he was in Olivia's room, in her bed, and the reason behind it, his heart broke even more.

He had been dreaming of those final moments in the squad room. He had felt himself raise his hand to fire the gun at Stevens, felt the tension and recoil as he squeezed the trigger not just once, but twice.

Watched in horror as the man yanked Olivia by the hair and pulled her up against his body to shield himself from the bullets headed his way. Violently slammed her head against the desk. Heard his cold words echo in his mind.

But this time, when he ran to her, freeing her hands from the handcuffs and turning her over, desperate to assess her injuries and begin life-saving first aid measures, he didn't just find Olivia unconscious.

No, in his nightmare, it was much worse. When he turned Olivia over, and looked down into her face, he had to fight down the bile that rose in his throat.

Olivia eyes were open and unfocused, staring back at him unseeing. Her mouth was open slightly, but she wasn't breathing. There was no pulse to be found at her throat, no life to keep within. She had left him. No. She hadn't left him, he had killed her. She was dead, and it was all his fault.

Shaking the images from his mind, and scrubbing both palms over his face, Elliot sought to remind himself that what had haunted him in his dream wasn't the truth. Olivia was still alive and breathing.

" _Yeah, breathing with assistance because she's on a ventilator – because of you."_

Again his conscience taunted him. Shoving the covers away in frustration, knowing he wasn't going to get anymore sleep, he stood up to go into the kitchen. He didn't notice that the door to the guest room was already open as he headed into the living room.

"Morning dad. I guess you couldn't sleep, either."

Elliot startled at the voice of his son calling out to him from the direction of Olivia's sofa. He turned to find Dickie sitting there, already dressed for the day, and scrolling through his cell phone.

"Morning. No, you're right. I didn't sleep too well."

Elliot helped himself to a bottle of water from the refrigerator, and uncapped it. Taking a long drink, he found he was still shaking slightly from the effects his nightmare had had on him. He tried to conceal this from his son, choosing instead to ask him a question.

"Did you still want to go to the hospital with me this morning? I can take you out for some breakfast before we head over."

Despite trying to show his support for his father, Dickie couldn't help but let his eagerness for food register in his expression. He hadn't eaten since the sandwich at the hospital yesterday evening, and Olivia had no food in her refrigerator for him to snack on. Even though he was still very concerned for the woman, he couldn't help but give in to his own base need of hunger. He was only human, after all.

"Some breakfast would be great, dad. It would do you good to eat something, too."

Dickie had made sure to tack on that last part to his sentence, making sure to let his father know that he expected him to eat something as well.

"Message received. How long will it take you to get ready?"

Taking a moment to consider his father's question, Dickie waited a moment before replying.

"Only a few minutes. I had that shower last night before I went to bed. I just need to put my stuff back in the duffel bag, throw on my shoes."

"Same here. What do you say we leave here in about fifteen minutes? Will that give you enough time?" Elliot paused before adding,

"I also want to make a quick phone call to the hospital to see if there is any change in Olivia's condition since last night."

Nodding his understanding, Dickie told his father he would be ready in the allotted amount of time. He then headed back into the guest room to gather his things.

Elliot finished his water, then deposited the empty bottle in the recycling bin that Olivia kept beneath her kitchen sink. He went into the bedroom to make his phone call.

* * *

Elliot and Dickie were seated at a rear booth in a crowded diner. They each had a closed menu in front of them, and were waiting on a server to come and take their orders.

Elliot's foot tapped impatiently under the table as he waited. He still thought back to the phone call he had made prior to leaving the apartment. The nurse who had answered had explained that there had been no change in Olivia's condition, and she still remained unresponsive in a coma. At the very least, her doctor had been nearby and Elliot had been able to speak to him briefly, too.

Explaining the situation of what had happened, he was able to secure permission for Dickie to visit Olivia today, however briefly. He hoped that would go a long way in reassuring the teen that he wasn't to blame. Elliot scoffed at the notion. How could that possibly work, when he still blamed himself for Olivia's condition, and would continue to do so until she was whole once more?

Finally, after what seemed like ages – but had really only been a span of ten minutes – a server approached their table. They each placed an order: Pancakes and orange juice for Dickie, while Elliot opted for coffee, eggs, and toast.

As they waited for their food to arrive, Elliot used the opportunity to check in with his boss and co-workers. He gave them what information he had gathered this morning from his conversation with the nurse and doctor. The captain was pleased to hear that he now had clearances to call and check in on Olivia's condition whenever he wanted, now that his name had been added to the 'friends and family' list Elliot had provided before leaving the hospital the night prior. He promised he would call to check in later that afternoon. Though it wasn't necessary, he reminded Elliot that he was still on administrative leave pending the IAB investigation. Elliot confirmed his understanding of those facts, and ended the call.

He had just turned his attention back to his son when their meal came to the table. Having already lost his appetite before he ever really had one, Elliot picked at his food. Dickie ate with much more interest, or perhaps it was nerves.

On their way to the diner, his father had informed him that he had gotten clearances to allow him to visit Olivia today. He had mixed feelings about this. Yes, he wanted to see her, to erase those images that were burned into his brain from yesterday, but he wasn't sure he could handle seeing her so dependent on machines supporting her life functions. He hoped he wouldn't have to go in and see her alone. He hoped that his father wouldn't think any less of him for being asked to accompany him on this visit. Trying to force those thoughts out of his head for now, he focused his attention back on his breakfast.

* * *

Elliot walked into the hospital, his son by his side, and a newspaper under his arm. They headed for the elevators that would take them directly to the floor that housed the Intensive Care Unit. As they got off the elevator and began to pass by the nurses station to head to Olivia's room, they were stopped by a nurse.

"I'm sorry, but we don't allow minors to visit patients on this floor. You'll have to wait in the lounge."

Dickie started to pull back from his father, and moved to obey the nurse's directive, when Elliot cut in.

"I've already spoken with both the patient's nurse and doctor. They are aware of the special circumstances and have granted permission for him to visit."

The nurse looked surprised at this news, then recovered quickly once she realized what patient they were talking about.

"You're here to see Detective Benson."

It was a statement, not a question.

"We are. Now, if you could please show us to her room, we'd greatly appreciate it."

The nurse apologized for the misunderstanding, and indicated with her hand the direction they needed to go.

As Dickie approached the door to Olivia's room, he suddenly halted his footsteps. Anxiety overtook him, and he wasn't sure he could actually go in and see her. Before he could ask, his father put an arm around his shoulders, and led him toward the room, indicating that he was going in with him. He relaxed, and allowed his father to lead him.

They walked into her hospital room together, and he couldn't help but be startled at her appearance. He still had yet to shake the memory of the last time he had seen her, unconscious and bleeding out under his hands on the floor of his father's workplace.

Now, the blood was gone, but a multitude of machinery had taken its place. His eyes scanned over her body as it lie in the hospital bed, absorbing the monitors, the tubes, the ventilator that was down her throat, aiding every breath. He was uncertain of what to do or say in her presence, especially when she was unable to react to him. It was seeing his father's reaction that helped put him at ease.

"Morning, Liv"

Elliot called out, stepping close enough to the bed to press a light kiss to the woman's forehead. He placed the newspaper he was holding down on the tray that was next to the bed, and took a seat next to his sleeping partner, talking to her all the while.

"Sorry we are a little late this morning. We stopped on our way in to get some breakfast. Dickie was hungry, and well, I know you'd kick my ass if I didn't eat something, too."

Dickie stood by the door, watching mesmerized, as his father continued to hold a one-sided conversation with the woman in the bed. It was as though she weren't sleeping at all. Curious, he had to ask what was going on.

"Dad? What are you doing?"

"It is believed that people who are in a coma are aware of their surroundings, and can hear what is going on around them. It's good for us to talk to them as normal."

Olivia, having watched the interactions from her spot in the chair by the corner, spoke softly, even though she knew by now she was the only one who would hear.

"We can. _I_ can. I can hear you, Elliot. Please don't stop talking to me."

She stood and moved over by the window, vacating the chair, leaving the blanket behind. She was still cold, but it didn't matter. The blanket was doing nothing to help. She watched instead as Dickie walked over to the chair she had just left behind, and picked up the blanket, holding it in his father's direction.

"Do you think we can cover her with this? I don't want her to be cold."

Smiling at his son's thoughtfulness, Elliot nodded.

"Yes, you can cover her with that. In fact, I think she'd like that. She always grabs an extra blanket when she takes a nap up in the cribs."

Olivia watched from her new spot by the window as father and son each took a corner of the blanket and spread it over her body. Almost immediately, she felt a warmth envelop her, taking away the chill she had felt since she had...what the hell was she anyway? She knew she wasn't dead, the steady beats from the heart monitor and whispering tones of the ventilator assured her of that, but she knew she wasn't awake. Shaking herself from her distracting thoughts, she forced herself to focus instead on her visitors, and what was going on in front of her.

"Olivia?"

She heard Dickie's tentative voice, and her heart went out to him. She was curious as to why Elliot had allowed him to visit her, but knew better than to question her partner's judgment. If he had brought his son here, there was undoubtedly a reason behind it.

"Olivia?" Dickie's voice questioned again, a bit stronger this time. He took a shaky breath, then continued.

"I'm sorry you got hurt. I'm sorry for my part in it, and I'm sorry for acting like a complete brat the last few times I saw you."

He paused, then added on.

"No- it's more than that. I wasn't just a brat. I was an asshole. You didn't deserve that. I was angry and I took it out on you. That wasn't fair."

Feeling his emotions running away from him, he took a moment to collect himself. Then, as if taking a cue from his father, who he saw was already holding one of Olivia's hands, reached out with his own to grasp her other one. Something about that tactile touch calmed him, and allowed him to finish what it was he had to say.

"You were so fucking brave yesterday, and I guess – I guess I want to say 'thank you', because you did everything you could to make sure I was safe, even though I had treated you like shit."

Dickie grimaced a bit, sure he was about to get a lecture on his language, but glancing over at his father, he saw nothing in his eyes but encouragement to continue whatever it was he needed to say.

"I've eavesdropped on a lot of dad's conversations in the past, and thought I knew what the job was like. But what I saw yesterday, I didn't know it was like that. I didn't really know that when you said you'd 'die for your partner', that you meant it literally."

These words caused a choked sob to come from Elliot, and even Olivia found herself becoming emotional hearing them. She wanted nothing more than to go over and comfort the both of them, but found herself frozen to the spot. Wrapping her arms around her herself yet again, she continued to watch.

"I'm sorry that man made me cut you. I'm sorry he made it so that it was dad who shot you. Just please, get better."

Unable to take any more, the teen let go of her hand and stood, rushing from the room. Elliot stood, torn between giving his son space to process his emotions, and going after him.

"Elliot. Go." Olivia urged quietly.

Whether he somehow heard her plea, or had come to a decision on his own, Elliot squeezed her hand once, then released it. He left the room in search of his son.

He found him soon after, in the visitors lounge, sitting on a sofa near the window. Approaching him cautiously, he grabbed a chair from a nearby table and placed it nearby choosing to sit on that, so he could look his son in the eye.

"Want to talk about it?"

He leaned back in his chair, doing his best to try not to crowd his son, who had yet to make eye contact. Giving the teen a few moments to collect his thoughts, they just sat together quietly. After a few minutes of silence, it was Dickie who spoke next.

"I just – felt so stupid, you know?"

He still couldn't bring himself to look at his father.

"How do you mean?"

"I just couldn't seem to shut up. I started talking to her, and all these feelings and emotions came pouring out, and I just couldn't stop. I felt like if I stopped talking to her, if I were to let go of her hand, that she would somehow disappear."

Elliot opened his mouth to speak, but closed it quickly when Dickie continued, obviously still shaken.

"And then the more I talked, the more upset I got, and then I felt like I had to get out of there, because I didn't -"

He paused for a moment, trying to swallow the lump in his throat.

"I didn't want her to see me cry. I didn't want YOU to see me cry."

Elliot's heart ached at hearing his son's confession. Trying to figure out the right way to approach this without making his son feel worse, or making the situation more awkward, he opted to go with total honesty.

"You saw me cry yesterday. More than once. And chances are, I'll probably cry again at some point. Does that make you think any less of _me_?

Not even needing any time to consider his father's question, Dickie answered immediately.

"Of course not Dad. Yesterday was a nightmare. It still is. I would never think less of you for crying because of Olivia being hurt."

Elliot reached out and put his hand on his son's shoulder, then asked softly.

"Then why are you being so hard on yourself?"

He watched as the message sunk in, as Dickie's facial expression changed from one of anguish to one of understanding and acceptance.

"You're right Dad. I think I'm ready to see Olivia again."

Elliot nodded and stood, replacing the chair he was sitting on back by the table. He started to head out of the lounge when he was stopped in his tracks by his son's voice.

"Dad? Would it bother you – I mean would it be okay if - Can I visit Olivia by myself this time?"

Nodding his approval, he walked with his son back to the door of Olivia's room. Once they arrived there, he hung back as Dickie put his hand on the doorknob. He told him to take all the time he needed, and that he would be waiting for him in the lounge whenever he was done with his visit. Dickie agreed, then turned to walk into the room.

Olivia startled when she heard the door to her room open once again. Looking toward the source of the sound, she was surprised to see who her visitor was. She had expected it to be Elliot alone, telling her that Dickie had seen too much for him to handle, and had needed to go home.

She wanted nothing more than to be able to go to the boy and offer him comfort, just as she wished she could comfort his father. But she was stuck in whatever type of limbo this was, forced to watch from the sidelines as those she cared deeply for interacted with her unconscious form.

She wished she felt something more for the woman lying in that hospital bed. Yes, instinctively, she knew they were one and the same person, but she felt no connection at all. Shaking herself from her thoughts, she turned her attentions again on the teen in her room, who had begun to speak once more.

"So, Olivia...I forgot to tell you something when I was in here earlier. You lied to me."

His voice didn't sound accusatory at all. There was no anger behind his tone. If anything, she would have guessed it was humor. Curious, she sat back down in the chair by the window to listen to what he had to say.

Dickie, who now felt much more comfortable in the comatose woman's presence, had opted to tell her about the story his father had related to him the night before. Leaning forward in his chair as though he were about to share a secret, he continued.

"Last night, Dad told me all about the time the two of you slept together. I know everything."

As realization began to dawn on Olivia, she felt a smile spread across her face as she, too, recalled the memory. That boring conference, the poor road conditions on the drive back, the monstrosity of a place that dared to call itself a 'luxury motel'. She couldn't believe that Elliot had told his son about this. What else could they have possibly talked about last night? She forced herself to focus her attention back on the conversation, hoping she hadn't missed anything.

"Dad let me have the guest room last night, he said that's where he was supposed to stay. He was going to take the couch, but I talked him into staying in your room. Don't worry – I made sure he didn't steal your covers."

At that admission, Olivia felt a pull in her heart. She wouldn't have cared if Elliot had taken every single one of the covers she had, he could have drooled on all her pillowcases, for that matter. She was just relieved to hear that he had gotten some sleep.

Pulled from her thoughts once more, her heart broke even further when she caught another of the teen's confessions. Even though she already knew it to be true.

"I remember from yesterday, Olivia. I remember that you made dad promise you. Between you and me, I think he's having trouble keeping that promise."

Dickie paused, feeling himself starting to choke up, but rather than allow it to embarrass himself, as he had earlier, he embraced the emotions, and continued to pour his heart out to the woman on the bed. This was something that was important for him to say, and therefore, important for her to hear.

"I need for you to get better, Olivia. _We_ need you to. I think that's the only way Dad is ever going to be able to forgive himself. Because despite his promise, if you die – he's going to hold himself responsible."

The Olivia that lay on the bed slept on, seemingly unaware of the teenager who had just bared his heart and soul to her. The essence of Olivia, however, who was cognizant of everything going on in the room, was weeping softly.

She hadn't wanted for Elliot to blame himself. Yet she had known, instinctively, that that is what he would do. She had hoped that by making him promise, that by assuring him she didn't blame him, it would help alleviate some of that guilt. She should have known better.

If only she could leave this room to watch over him while she was sick. Someone needed to take care of him, because she feared that once he was alone, he would lose himself in his grief.

A phone buzzed softly in the room, indicating an incoming text message. Dickie paused from his storytelling to look at it. It must not have been anything he wanted to see, for he sighed deeply upon reading it.

"That was mom."

Olivia cringed inwardly upon hearing the news. She wasn't aware of what had gone on yesterday in the waiting room while she was in surgery, but she could tell from the boy's tone, that things on the home front were tense at best.

"She wants me to come home. I'd really rather stay with dad. I guess I should do as she says, before she gets really mad, like yesterday."

Curious now, Olivia hoped he would elaborate. Kathy had been at the hospital? What had she been so angry about? She couldn't possibly have blamed _Elliot_ for yesterday's events, could she? Oh, how she wished for the ability to communicate.

"I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but I need to talk about it. Things got ugly in the waiting room. Mom even slapped dad across the face."

Olivia felt a gasp catch in her throat. No. This couldn't be. Poor Elliot.

She listened as the story unfolded.

"It was awful, Olivia. She blamed dad for everything. Then she went so far as to say he should have killed you the second he thought it would have set me free."

Olivia could tell the teen was struggling with his tale. Gathering all her strength, which wasn't much, she forced herself to walk over to where he sat. Reaching out with one hand, she tried her hardest to make contact. She felt the moment she was able to touch his shoulder, and while she couldn't say whether or not the boy felt her touch, she sensed the moment he relaxed.

He continued to narrate the events of the day before, getting a bit emotional when he got to the part where his mother threatened his father with divorce papers. He also had difficulty sharing the fact that his mother had to be escorted from the building by security, having had been warned by staff that she was causing a disruption.

He had just finished his tale, and was wiping a tear from his eye when there was a quiet knock at the door. Elliot poked his head in, a look of regret on his face.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your visit, but your mom just called me. She wants you home. She said she sent you a text, but you didn't reply."

Sighing, Dickie got out his phone.

"Yes. She sent me the text about ten minutes ago. I haven't had a chance to reply. I was talking to Olivia. I thought it was only fair that she should know we crashed at her apartment last night."

Smiling, Elliot asked his son,

"Oh, and what do you think she thought of that?"

"I think she expects you to stay there again tonight."

Elliot tried to discourage his son's way of thinking, but was stopped short by Dickie's logical reasoning.

"Look Dad – you don't have anywhere to stay, you already said last night Olivia expected you to sleep in her guest room, what is stopping you from doing that tonight?"

Seeing that Elliot was struggling with this decision, Olivia walked over to him. Trying as she had with Dickie, she made a move to place both hands on his shoulders. When she was successful, she tried to make eye contact with him. Were she a flesh-and-bone being, their positions were as such that if he were to lean forward only slightly, their foreheads would be touching. She implored him quietly.

"Elliot. Stay."

Feeling as though he were battling more than just his son's will, Elliot gave in.

"All right. I'll stay at Olivia's again tonight. I'll stay there until she wakes up. It's closer to the hospital anyway."

Grinning, Dickie turned to exit the room. He stopped though, having thought of something.

"Dad, can I have a few bucks for cab fare? I don't want to ask you to leave Olivia, and I don't want to ask Mom to come to the hospital to pick me up."

Instead of reaching into his pocket for his wallet, Elliot handed over the car keys. Surprised, his son looked at him with curiosity, waiting for him to explain.

"Take the car. I'll swing by the station on my way back to Olivia's and pick hers up instead. She wouldn't want to leave it in the precinct parking lot all this time."

Satisfied with his father's answer, and that he wasn't leaving his dad without transportation, Dickie took the keys and left.

* * *

After his son left, Elliot took his place in the chair next to Olivia's bed. A fresh wave of guilt hit him once again as he saw her lying there. He wanted nothing more than for her to open her eyes. Knowing that this wasn't possible yet, he instead chose to reach for her hand, finding a small comfort in the warmth of her skin against his. Feeling a weariness in his body, he leaned over to lay his head down, resting it on the bed beside their joined hands.

Olivia's heart broke at the sight of her partner in such obvious emotional pain. She yearned to offer him comfort, but could not find the energy to reach out a hand, as she had earlier when she had rested both palms on his shoulders. Did she have some sort of quota when it came to touching the living?

" _You're not dead yet, Benson._ " she reminded herself. What was it she had overheard when Elliot and his son were talking earlier? Something about a coma? Was she in some sort of waking dream, then, having an out-of-body experience?

Whatever this was, she had yet to figure it out. And she wasn't going to waste any more of what was apparently precious energy in trying to figure it out, either. No, she was going to use her energy to watch over and take care of Elliot.

Casting a glance at the form of her body on the bed, she reminded herself that that part of her was being taken care of. And obviously, if she could will herself awake, she'd have done so by now. She'd leave the care of her body to the doctors and nurses. It seemed to be out of her hands anyway. Now, if she could just figure out a way to get out of this room and follow Elliot so she could stay with him.

Shaking that worry aside for now, she focused her energy on the man she was most concerned about. He had lifted his head, and she could sense he was about to speak.

"I don't think I've ever broken a promise as important as this in my life, Olivia. The fact that I made it to you – and I'm having this much trouble keeping it, it's killing me inside."

A lone tear trailed down his cheek. He didn't bother to wipe it away.

"I need you to survive this, Liv. I know that might sound selfish on my part, but I need for you to live."

Olivia watched helplessly as her normally stoic partner poured his heart out to her, unable to say or do a thing to offer him comfort. She looked back at the body of the woman who lay on the bed, and practically demanded for her to respond.

" _Do something. Squeeze his hand. Open your eyes. Fight, damn it!_ "

She received no response. She only felt a chill overtake her body again as the persistent feeling of coldness settled in once more.

The door to her room opened, and in walked a nurse. She was carrying a small tray with her, and seemed startled to find someone else in the room.

"Oh! I'm sorry. I didn't realize anyone else was in here."

"It's all right" Elliot replied. "I didn't mean to startle you."

The nurse went on to explain her presence.

"I'm just here to change the antibiotics of Detective Benson's IV drip"

The nurse went on to say, indicating the empty bag hanging from the stand, and holding up the fresh bag she had brought with her. She also added,

"I also need to empty the drains from her surgical incisions."

Elliot stood, allowing the nurse room to come near the bed.

"I'll just step out for a moment then, give Olivia some privacy. Is there somewhere nearby where I can grab a cup of coffee, or do I need to go to the cafeteria for that?"

"We have a small kitchen at the end of the hall. It is for staff and patient's families to use. You are welcome to help yourself to the coffeepot there."

Elliot thanked the nurse for her help, and headed out of the door. He knew he could have stayed, that the nurse would have done everything necessary to protect Olivia's modesty, but truth be told, he wasn't ready to see the aftermath of the surgery yet. He didn't want to see the scars that would be left behind-forever marring her body- because of his actions yesterday.

He found the kitchen as the nurse had described to him, and went inside. Just as she had said, a pot of coffee sat on a warmer. Off to one side, there was a boiling water tap, with teabags nearby. Elliot made sure to store this fact in his memory. If -no _when-_ Olivia woke up, and was allowed to have something to eat or drink, he would have to make sure she got a cup of the hot tea she enjoyed so much. Even if he had to stop by her apartment or a store for her favorite tea bags.

He prepared himself a cup of coffee, and sipped the beverage, grimacing at the bitter liquid. He had thought the stuff they had to drink at the station was horrid. This made their coffee at work seem gourmet by any standards. Still, it gave him something to do, and an escape from his thoughts, so he chose to drink it anyway.

He glanced down the hall, and saw as the nurse had exited Olivia's room. Figuring it was safe to go back, he finished his drink, and tossed the empty cup in the garbage.

Letting himself back into her room, he returned to his seat at the side of her bed. At a loss for words, he reached for the newspaper he had placed by her bedside earlier, opened it, and began to read aloud.

He was still reading to her an hour later when his phone buzzed softly in his pocket, indicating that he had a message. Curious as to who would have called, since everyone he knew was aware that he was at the hospital, he pulled up his voice mail.

As the message played on, he found his temper rising. It was Kathy, requesting – no demanding – his presence at their lawyers office the following afternoon. She claimed that he should have had sufficient time to recover from his shock, and that his family should be a priority over his partner. If he didn't attend this meeting, she would consider that as his forfeiture of custody of their youngest son.

Pressing the correct key to save the message, Elliot set his phone down, swearing under his breath as he did so. 'Forfeiture of custody'? For spending time in the hospital with his partner? Was she really serious? Going on a brief memory of the day before, he pulled up the name of a law firm using his phone's internet, as he didn't know the number by heart. He typically would have used a lawyer from the squad's own DA's office, but their current DA was Sonya Paxton, and she had yet to even check in on Olivia's condition. It was doubtful she'd offer him any assistance.

Once he had the number, he dialed and asked to speak to Trevor Langan. He told the secretary who he was, and explained that it was for a personal reason, and not anything having to do with an ongoing SVU case. She recognized his name right off, and immediately forwarded his call to the right extension.

"Trevor Langan speaking. How may I help you?"

"Trevor, this is Elliot Stabler."

"Elliot, yes. How is Olivia doing? I meant to call the SVU later today to check on her condition."

Elliot found himself getting choked up, as he always did when asked about Olivia. He tried not to berate himself too much, after all, it had barely been a full twenty-four hours since everything happened. He supposed he was entitled to still be a little upset. Trying to remember his focus of the reason why he had called, he continued.

"Olivia is still critical, but stable. They consider her to be in a coma. I appreciate your asking after her, but that's not really why I called."

There was another pause over the phone line, and Trevor could sense the hesitancy of the man on the other end. Hazarding a guess as to the reason for the call, he opted to break the silence first.

"Does this have to do with what your wife had to say at the hospital yesterday?"

"Yes."

Trevor waited for Elliot to elaborate. He could sense the struggle he was having, so he remained patient. When it seemed as though he was still having trouble speaking, he tried to offer a compromise as a solution.

"Would it be easier for you to talk about this in person? My schedule is free this afternoon. I could stop by the hospital to speak with you then, if you'd like."

The audible sigh of relief that was heard over the line was really the only answer he needed, but nonetheless he waited for Elliot to reply.

"Thank you, Trevor. I'd appreciate that."

The two briefly discussed a time and place. It was decided that Trevor would come to the floor where Olivia's room was, and they would use a quiet corner of the visitors lounge for their meeting. It was obvious that Elliot was hesitant to go very far from his partner's side. Trevor had even offered to bring some lunch along for the two of them to eat while they talked, so certain was he that the detective wouldn't be leaving Olivia to take care of that on his own. Once all the arrangements were settled, they ended the call.

With that task done, and knowing that some help on the legal front was on the way, Elliot felt the weight on his shoulders lessen. Granted, he could not believe that he had turned to Langan for help. But he had caught a glimpse of his more human nature yesterday. He had a vague flash of memory yesterday that even Trevor had lined up to donate blood. He remembered how the man had held his ground during the standoff, refusing to be intimidated by Stevens, and telling him he could not/would not defend him any longer. Yes, maybe there was an honest man in there somewhere.

Pushing these thoughts out of his mind for the time being, Elliot tried to relax in the chair once more. He bent over in his seat, and lay his head down on the bed, as he had done earlier. Resting so close to Olivia's hand, he could almost imagine that she were only sleeping and would wake up at any moment. Closing his eyes, he promised himself it was only for a minute. He was asleep in seconds.

Olivia watched with an aching heart as her partner made his phone call to Trevor Langan. Poor Elliot. He must have so much weighing on his mind.

" _And yet, he's here with you_ " she told herself.

She hoped that Trevor would be able to help. Elliot should not lose a chance at shared custody of his son simply because he was visiting her at the hospital. It wasn't as if he had abandoned the boy. Shame on Kathy for trying to turn yesterday's events to her advantage in the divorce proceedings.

Olivia hadn't even realized things were that bad again between the two of them. She supposed, had she and Elliot been able to go ahead with their original plans of Chinese food and beer the night before, she could have pulled some information out of him. Then again, maybe not. Her partner was often a hard shell to crack. She considered herself one of the lucky ones to be allowed to see his vulnerable side.

She worried about that vulnerable side, and how it would show itself later. She thought about Elliot going back to her empty apartment alone. Talking aloud, because she didn't really know who it was she was supposed to be talking _to_ , she began to bargain.

"I don't really know what's going on here. What I am. But I can't let him be by himself tonight."

She paused, unsure of how to phrase her request.

"I don't know what the rules are in a situation like this. If I have to stay with my body, or if I can go to places that are familiar to me."

Finally, the words came to her, what it was she wanted to say most.

"What I guess I'm trying to say is – if it's possible – can I be in my apartment tonight when he's there? I know he won't know I'm there, but _I'll_ know."

Olivia waited in the silence for her answer, but seemingly received no response. Just as she was about to resign herself to the fact that she was stuck within these four walls for the duration of her coma, she suddenly felt something change within her.

Curious, she picked up the blanket that was back at the bottom of her bed once again. Walking over to her sleeping partner, she draped it around his shoulders. With effort, she found she was able to lightly brush her fingertips against his cheek.

Was this what she had been granted? The ability to interact with the living?

" _Stop saying it like that, Olivia. You're not dead._ "

She reminded herself once again. Yet it was hard not to compare herself to a ghost, when that is exactly what she felt like.

Pushing those thoughts aside, she sat back down, content just to watch Elliot sleep. For once, it looked as though all his worries had left him. She dreaded the moment he would wake. Not just because of the fact that his quiet slumber would be disturbed, but given his current position, he was sure to have one hell of a stiff neck as a result.

She wasn't sure how long she was watching him when there was a soft knock at her door. She turned her gaze to see who it was, and was surprised to find Trevor Langan pushing the door ajar to peer inside her room.

The attorney crept into the room quietly, not wanting to disturb the sleeping man. His attention was drawn to the woman on the bed, her body seemingly swallowed up by the multitude of medical equipment that surrounded her. This did not even resemble the formidable Detective Benson who he was used to dealing with on a regular basis.

He could still easily recall the fierce woman who only yesterday defied Michael Stevens. The man who he had foolishly believed was innocent of what he had been accused of. He remembered standing by in horror as he watched the way she stood up to the man, defiant to the last, despite his abuse of her. Shaking those thoughts from his head, he instead said a brief prayer for her recovery, and focused his attentions on the man sleeping at her bedside.

Elliot startled awake when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He tried not to show his disappointment when he woke to find Trevor standing beside him. In his dream, it had been Olivia who woke him, and she had been just as he remembered. Alive and whole. Not this shell of a person who couldn't even breathe without assistance.

Lifting a hand, Elliot scrubbed it over his face, to clear the last remnants of sleep. He was surprised to find a blanket draped over his shoulders, but figured the nurse had been in, and had been kind enough to take care of him. Turning his attention to the newcomer in the room, he addressed the man.

"Thank you for coming, Trevor. I'm just sorry you caught me sleeping."

The man shrugged off his concern. Instead, he gestured to Olivia, asking

"Has there been any change?"

"None today. They plan to evaluate her again after the initial forty-eight hours are up, decide if they still want to keep her in the medically induced coma or not."

Trevor nodded his understanding. He was silent for a moment, absorbing the information. Then, he cleared his throat.

"Are you still okay going down the hall to have our conversation, or would you prefer to stay here?"

Elliot's reply was immediate.

"I want to go to the other room. I'm not sure what she can and cannot hear, and I don't want her to know about my problems. She needs to focus all her energy on getting better."

Olivia, having watched this exchange, decided then and there that she would not use this opportunity to try and leave the room. She would respect her partner's wishes. Though she wanted to be with him when he talked to the lawyer, she would wait behind and let him tell her at his own time and pace.

She looked on from her spot in the room as Elliot stood and followed Trevor out of the room, and hoped that the defense attorney who was often a thorn in their sides could prove to be an ally today. Feeling exhaustion overtaking her, she curled up in her chair, and decided to use Elliot's absence as a chance to get some rest.

* * *

Following his meeting with Trevor Langan, during which Elliot learned he had more rights than he originally thought, the day passed rather quickly.

Before he had even realized it, visiting hours were coming to an end. He knew then nurses would be coming in soon to let him know it was time to leave. Then he would take a cab to the station, where he would grab Olivia's things from her locker, and drive her car back to her apartment.

"Olivia, if you have a problem with me staying at your place, wake up and tell me so right now."

Elliot challenged the sleeping woman on the bed, desperate for some type of reaction. He immediately regretted his words.

"I'm sorry Liv. That's not fair to you. I'm sure you're fighting your hardest to come back to me, I mean, to us."

He reached for her hand again, eager to have one last moment of connection before he was kicked out for the night.

"You had it right the first time you said it, El. I'm fighting to get back to you."

Olivia said to herself as she watched the way Elliot was so gentle in his interactions with her.

"And you can stay in my apartment for as long as you need. Don't think twice about it."

The nurse came in then, spouting apologies that visiting hours were over for the day, and that Elliot would need to leave. Seeing how reluctant he was, she reminded him that should there be any changes in Olivia's condition throughout the night, that he would be the first person they would call.

Olivia watched as Elliot stood, bidding her good-night, but before he left the room, bent low to gently brush her hair off her forehead and place a tender kiss upon her brow. She could almost swear she saw a tear in his eye.

" _Please, let me be able to watch over him tonight. The doctor's and nurses here will take care of my body._ " she whispered.

Again, she wasn't certain to whom she was making her plea, but she was desperate in her request. She closed her eyes as she asked her question again in earnest.

When she opened them again, the sterile world of the hospital had faded away, and she was startled to find that she was amid the comfortable surroundings of her own apartment. Someone had been listening. Her wish had been granted. She would be able to watch over Elliot tonight.

Walking through her apartment, she took notice of the missing picture on her bookshelf. She found it in her bedroom, sitting on her nightstand, and made the conclusion that Elliot must have placed it there the night before. She also took notice of the makeshift 'bed' he had made for himself on top of her covers, trying to keep respectful of her personal space. She hoped that wherever he chose to sleep tonight, either in the guest bedroom, or if he opted for her bed again, he would drop his guard some, and allow himself to be more comfortable.

Hearing the sound of keys in the lock, she wandered back out to the living room to see Elliot coming in through the door. He had a wheeled suitcase with him, with a garment bag draped over one arm. He also was carrying a manila envelope, and in his other fist, a brown paper bag.

Depositing the keys, envelope and paper bag on the coffee table, Elliot turned to head into the guest room with the remainder of his stuff. When he emerged, he was dressed in more comfortable clothing.

Olivia sat in an armchair and watched as he moved about her apartment, feeling relieved as he placed a phone call to a nearby restaurant to order himself some delivery.

Her relief quickly turned to concern as he grabbed a glass from her kitchen, and brought it with him to the living room. Opening the paper bag, he removed from it a rather large bottle containing an amber liquid.

Whiskey.

"Oh Elliot."

She heard herself say softly, feeling her heart break as she watched him.

She looked on, feeling tears prick her eyes as she watched her partner place his right hand over his left, twisting the band of gold that had resided on his finger for over twenty years. With a sharp tug, he pulled it off, and dropped it into the manila envelope, exhaling a bitter laugh in the process.

Picking up the bottle, he poured a small amount into the glass that sat next to it. He tossed it back in one swallow, then refilled the glass, repeating the process. By the time he had refilled a third time, he had slowed down, and was no longer tossing back the alcohol.

He startled when the intercom buzzed, but moved press the button to allow the delivery person access to the building. He was standing at the door waiting for their arrival when they approached with his food. He promptly paid them, remembering to tip, and came back inside, shutting and locking the door behind him.

He brought the food with him over to the table, and sat down. He wasn't interested in watching television, but turned on the set anyway, as a means of getting rid of the awful quiet that was threatening to overtake his remaining sanity. He settled on a sports channel, satisfied to listen to the drone of broadcasters replaying events of the most recent game.

Opening the cartons from his food, he couldn't help but smile. Here he was, in Olivia's apartment, with Chinese food and liquor. Maybe it wasn't the beer as had been promised, but he needed something stronger. He would be staying in her guest room. It was just as she had predicted yesterday. The only problem was, she wasn't here to share it with him.

He shook his head, wondering what Olivia would say should she see him now. More likely than not, she would admonish him for his drinking. Read him the riot act for not taking proper care of himself. At least he was eating dinner. Taking her thoughts into consideration, he put the cap back on the liquor bottle, and pushed it out of reach.

He stood and went into the kitchen, retrieving a bottle of water, opting to drink that instead. He brought it with him back to the living room, and sat back down to finish his food.

The manila envelope on the table kept capturing his attention. He could almost sense the gold band he had slipped inside burning a hole through the sides of it. With a bitter laugh, he spoke aloud.

"I just keep failing at everything, don't I Liv? Can't protect my son. I shoot you, am the reason you're in a coma."

He reached out and grasped the glass in front of him in his fist, swallowing the last of its contents, ignoring the burn that followed.

He just continued on with his litany of self-loathing.

"Can't keep my marriage together. Maybe its for the best Kathy wants to reduce my rights to see Eli. I'd only endanger him, too."

Unable to hear her partner berate himself any longer, Olivia walked over and joined him on the couch. She reached out and placed her hands on his, trying her best to soothe him. She spoke, even though she knew he could not hear her.

"Elliot. You are an amazing father. You deserve to have Eli in your life."

She went on to assure him of how he wasn't to blame for what had happened to Dickie at the station yesterday, that there was no way he could have known Stevens would escape his hold in the interrogation room. What safer place for his son to be than visiting his father at a police station?

Then, keeping one of her hands securely wrapped around his wrist, she raised her other to cup his cheek. Tipping her head forward, she rested her forehead against his.

"I'm not big on prayer, Elliot, but I pray you can hear me. I don't blame you. I didn't blame you when you hit me, and I didn't blame you when you pulled that trigger."

She took a breath before continuing.

"You've got to stop punishing yourself."

Though she hoped her words would get through to him somehow, Olivia got the shock of her life when she heard Elliot speak out in response.

"I can feel you, Liv."

She pulled back, startled, but didn't release the hold she had on him. She waited, holding her breath, for him to speak again.

"I can feel your presence around me, and it scares me. Because if I can feel you here, when I know that you are lying in that hospital bed, then I'm afraid that means that I've lost you for good."

He opened his eyes, and they were bright with unshed tears. Trying to swallow his emotions, he added with a shaking voice.

I _can't_ lose you for good, Liv. I've lost my marriage, my relationship with my kids is tenuous at best, my job – I don't give a damn about my job right now. If I lose you, I won't have anything left.

When he had finished, his voice was nothing more than a whisper. He opened and closed his eyes several times, in an attempt to blink back the tears. When he opened them again, he could almost swear he was staring into Olivia's kind brown eyes. And the look on her face said that her heart was breaking for him.

Elliot startled at the image that had briefly appeared in front of him, only to vanish just as quickly. He then thought about the peace he had felt in Olivia's hospital room, the same peace he felt when he walked into her apartment tonight. The same sense of calm that she was always able to provide whenever she was around him.

"Olivia?" he whispered

"You're here, aren't you?"

* * *

His hands were shaking. He could barely hold the phone as he tried to dial. Could scarcely find the words to speak when the nurse answered. Was only able to breathe again when he was repeatedly assured that while she was still in the coma, and dependent on artificial measures to some degree, Olivia's vital signs remained stable.

Apologizing for the late call, Elliot thanked the nurse for her patience and understanding, and bid her good-night. Setting the phone down on the table, he reached for the remote to turn off the television, then spoke into the silence once more. His voice was no more than a whisper.

"I'm going to just keep talking to you like you're here, Olivia. I know you can't answer me. But I know you're here. I can feel you."

He then began to walk throughout the living room, and he began to talk. He told her about everything – his recent marriage troubles, the problems he was having getting along with his kids. Whether the alcohol he had ingested was acting as a truth serum, or the stress of everything that had been going on had opened the floodgates, he wasn't sure. All he knew was that his partner was there, and he was baring his mind, heart, and soul to her. And the more he talked, the more he felt the pressures that had weighed him down begin to lessen.

He hadn't felt a calm like this all day, not even when he was in her presence at the hospital. He then addressed the other concern that was foremost on his mind.

"Olivia, I don't know what this means...that you are here right now. But you should be taking care of yourself, not me. You're the one of us who is in a coma."

He thought back to when Trevor woke him up this afternoon at the hospital, at how the blanket was draped around his shoulders. Realization dawned on him, and left him feeling both humbled and troubled.

"It was you, wasn't it. You're the one who covered me with the blanket at the hospital today."

Olivia felt tears coursing down her cheeks. She figured most of it was as a result of having heard Elliot open up to her the way he did, even if it wasn't to her personally.

She wasn't surprised at the way he had chastised her. In fact, she thought his reaction rather mild compared to what she had been expecting.

It had been his panicked phone call to the hospital to check on her status that had nearly broken her. After sensing her presence, he had immediately assumed she was either an angel or a ghost, and feared the worst. In her attempt to make things better and watch out for him, she had almost made things worse.

She refocused her attention on Elliot once more when she realized he was speaking yet again.

"I don't know what's going on here, Liv. But now I need for you to promise me something."

Her ears perked up. Elliot wanted her to do something. She wasn't sure what she could do, given her current limitations, but she would try her damnedest to follow his wishes.

"I'm guessing you're watching over me tonight, so I'm not even going to try and talk you out of that one. You're probably here to make sure I live up to my promise."

Picking up the liquor bottle he had been drinking from previously, he took it with him into the kitchen. Uncapping it, he poured the remainder of its contents down the sink, throwing the empty bottle in the trash.

"Step one. No more pity parties. I can't promise you I won't blame myself, but I can promise you I will try."

He then moved about and gathered his leftovers, and put them away in the fridge, chuckling to himself at its empty contents. Knowing that if his partner were here in person, he would most certainly have some smart remark to say to her about it.

Elliot then sat back on the sofa, not realizing he was sitting right next to Olivia, and was looking directly at her when he spoke next. It was appropriate, because these were the words that meant the most. What he wanted for her to understand. If he could have taken her hands in his to convey his message, he would have. Tomorrow, he'd be sure to tell her again.

"I need you to fight Liv. I need you to come back to me. Whole. I know it won't be easy, but I can wait. However long it takes. Just please, come back."

Having said his piece, he walked over toward the door. Making sure it was locked, he engaged the deadbolt and threw on the chain as well.

He could feel the exhaustion from his emotional outburst sinking into his bones.

Deciding to forgo a shower tonight, in favor of one in the morning, he grabbed his water bottle off the coffee table, and carried it with him. He stopped abruptly at the hallway juncture, unsure of whether to turn right or left.

"It's okay, Elliot. You can sleep in my bed again. I don't mind."

As if he had heard her, Elliot turned toward her bedroom. He placed his bottle of water on the nightstand, right next to the photo he had put there last night. Feeling self-conscious about it, he made an attempt to explain himself.

"I wasn't snooping, Liv. And I'm sorry for rearranging your things. I just needed a reminder last night. Something else to put in my head that wasn't you bleeding out under my hands, or hooked up to those machines."

Olivia said nothing, but moved closer to Elliot, resting her hands on his shoulders once more.

"Elliot, it's okay." She soothed.

"I understand."

As she spoke, she moved her hands from his shoulders to rest on the sides of his face. She startled when she felt Elliot raise his hands to cover hers. She hadn't expected this type of contact.

They stayed that way for a moment, neither of them moving. It was Elliot who broke the hold first, stepping back and turning on the bedside lamp. He turned off the overhead light on the way out of he room.

Olivia stood still in the center of her bedroom as she heard the sounds of his footsteps fading. It was followed by the telltale sounds of a toilet flushing, then rushing water as he washed his hands and brushed his teeth. Then the footfalls grew closer once more as his frame darkened the bedroom doorway once more.

"Just for tonight, Liv. Tomorrow I'll stay in the guest room, I swear."

He started to lay on top of the covers, as he had the night before when something stopped him. He spoke again, half to himself, half to the presence of the woman he was certain was in the room with him.

"Are you sure, Liv? I don't want to intrude on your privacy."

"Sleep, Elliot"

Elliot pulled back the covers and crawled underneath, opting to remain clothed yet again. While he normally slept in just his boxers, he didn't feel right doing so when sleeping in a bed that wasn't his.

Once he was comfortable, he reached over and turned off the lamp on the bedside table, plunging the room into darkness.

"I don't really know how this works, Olivia"

Olivia laughed at that statement, despite herself. And she did? This was new territory to her, too. What she did know was that there was no way in hell she was going to sleep. She was afraid if she did, she'd never wake up again. Either in this dream-like state that she existed in now, or the real-world version of her that slept on in the hospital.

Pulling the covers up around her partner, similar to how she had done earlier this afternoon, she tucked him in. And, just like he had been so tender with her before he left the hospital today, she showed him that same tenderness in return.

Using what remained of her fading strength, she pressed a kiss to his forehead, watching as his eyes fluttered closed. She sensed as his body gave way to the exhaustion that consumed him, and succumbed to sleep.

Once ensuring he was comfortable, she walked around the bed to sit on the other side, resting her back against the headboard. She settled in, prepared to keep watch throughout the night.

Elliot slept on, his mind currently at peace after spending an evening pouring his heart out to his partner. This was a safe space. Just as she'd promised the day before.


	6. Waking Up

**Disclaimer: SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. I own nothing.**

* * *

_Two weeks later_

Two weeks. It had been two weeks since the incident at the police station, and Olivia still lay in a coma. Granted, she had improved somewhat.

Seventy-two hours after her surgery, the doctors had attempted to wean her off the ventilator. Everyone involved in her treatment was pleasantly surprised to find how well she responded, even taking a few breaths on her own.

Deciding to err on the side of caution, they opted to leave her attached to the machine a little while longer, in an attempt to avoid any further complications with the collapsed lung. But while they had kept Olivia intubated, she wasn't as dependent on the ventilator as she had been when she first arrived.

Then, three days ago, they had successfully extubated her, and she had been breathing on her own ever since. Granted, she was still receiving oxygen via nasal cannula, but it was such a refreshing sight to see her without that tube down her throat.

There had been other improvements as well. With her incisions healing, they had been able to discontinue the use of the strong antibiotics she had been on when she first arrived. The staples still remained in place, but were scheduled to be removed the following week.

As for Olivia's facial injuries, the butterfly sutures that had been there had been removed. Faint traces of bruises still painted a reminder of the ordeal she had gone through on that horrifying day, but for the most part, she looked as she had before.

The best improvement of all, at least in Elliot's mind, was that she was no longer staying in the intensive care unit. Granted, she was only one step down in intermediate care, but it meant he was allowed more freedom to visit her.

He had been to visit her most every day, with the exception of one day shortly after she had been admitted. On that day, he had been held up with the final questioning from IAB down at the precinct in the morning. He remembered it all too well.

Sergeant Clark had been there again, and after reviewing Elliot's statement from the hospital, as well as the statements from everyone else who had been present, had cleared him in the firing of his gun. He had been reinstated to full duty, and Elliot had recalled how the man had withdrawn his badge and gun from his briefcase, and extended it to him across the desk.

What he also remembered, with a startling clarity, was the way he had recoiled from those objects. He couldn't even bring himself to look at them. He remembered telling the Sergeant to keep them, that he never wanted to see them again. He had, for all intents and purposes, quit on the spot. Walked away from a career of over twenty years on the police force.

It was Captain Cragen who had intervened then, explained to him that he didn't need to make such an important decision right at that moment. Told him to take some of the time off that was available to him. The Captain had also explained that if, after taking that time off, that if leaving the badge behind was still what Elliot wanted, he would have his full support.

That same day, he had also had a meeting with Kathy,her lawyer, and a mediator. Trevor had been there to represent him. Given her most recent mood, he was anticipating the worst. She didn't disappoint his expectations.

She was already waiting there in the office when he had arrived. Not once during the meeting did she inquire about Olivia's well-being, despite the fact that Elliot knew it was a popular topic of conversation among his children. In fact, she only mentioned his partner once, and it was to ask Elliot to not take _her_ son to visit 'that woman' in the hospital. Apparently, seeing her was too traumatic.

Elliot had kept his temper in check the best he could, but reminded Kathy that it was ultimately Dickie's choice if he wanted to visit Olivia or not. He had not once forced him to do so, and he wouldn't force him in the future, but if it was what he wanted, he would support him completely.

That had prompted a discussion about whether or not he was fit as a parent. Kathy had argued that he had knowingly placed her son – she always called the children 'hers' in her arguments – in danger when he was at the police station to retrieve the car keys. She claimed that Elliot should have known this was dangerous, and not allowed his son to be present.

Trevor had spoken up then, defending Elliot with the fact that he was not clairvoyant. He also brought up numerous occasions in the past when Kathy herself would bring the children to visit their father at his workplace. His best argument was the fact that, if she thought it so dangerous, why send her son there alone in the first place if she was worried about his safety?

The mediator listened to both sides on this case in point, and ultimately ruled that no one was at fault. The situation that had unfolded at the precinct that day was an unfortunate coincidence, and had no bearing whatsoever on Elliot's ability to parent. If anything, it only justified just how far he would go to protect his children.

Sensing that they weren't going to win favor on the custody factor, Kathy and her lawyer moved on to their next accusation – spousal abandonment. That theory was shot down practically before the lawyer could even try to argue his case, because Trevor immediately pointed out that it was Kathy who had taken the children and moved out of the family home.

Back and forth the arguments went, until finally even the mediator had had enough. He offered to draw up a decree of no-fault divorce, and worked out a division of assets both parties could agree on. The final document meant that Kathy would receive a small alimony payment, and she did get to keep the house and car. Elliot would pay child support for Eli. The two of them would continue to contribute to a college fund for him jointly.

The same went for Richard and Elizabeth, Elliot would pay support for them until they were eighteen. Also, as they both had their own college funds, too, both parents would pay into that until they graduated high school.

By the time they had dotted all the i's and crossed all the t's, Elliot and Kathy's twenty-four year marriage was all but over. The paperwork would still need to be processed, but both had signed the documents. The mediator told them, given the circumstances, it would take about twelve weeks for the divorce to be approved by the courts.

Once they were leaving the office, Elliot tried to talk to Kathy, to say something. He had almost caught up to her when she was approached by another man in the hallway. He had watched as the two embraced and kissed one another, shaking his head in disbelief. He thought about confronting the pair, but decided against it. He just walked away.

* * *

Elliot had finished narrating his tale to Olivia. It was the first he'd told her about his meeting with IAB. About his meeting with Kathy that day, the only day he'd missed coming to visit her since she'd been at the hospital. Even though she still was in her coma, he believed with everything he had that she could hear him. He didn't want her to feel left out or excluded from anything.

He ran his hand down the side of her face, the backs of his fingers stroking her cheek. He was still getting accustomed to seeing her without that tube down her throat, though it was a sight he loved to see. His hand trembled when he remembered the way he had found out she'd been transferred from ICU to where she was now.

Somehow, the staff had failed to contact him about the move, so when he'd arrived on the floor to visit her as usual that morning, all he'd found was an empty room. The bed had been made, and was in an elevated position, the tray placed over the bed. It was as if Olivia had never occupied the room at all. His heart had stopped, his stomach sunk all the way to his toes. Tears pricked in his eyes, but he couldn't bring himself to cry. He had truly believed that he'd lost her. Thought that she had passed away during the night, and no one had called to tell him. He was lost.

It was one of the nurses who had spotted him standing frozen in the doorway to the room. She immediately calmed his fears, explaining that Olivia had been upgraded in condition, and moved to a room on a different floor. Elliot had barely heard the room number before he was rushing off in that direction.

"And then when I walked in, and saw you breathing on your own, Liv – I think that's when I truly started to breathe again myself."

Elliot concluded his story, one that he'd told his partner many times by now. He just needed her to know how much she meant to him. She had passed the first big hurdle, was breathing on her own. Now she just needed to open those eyes, wake up and come back to him.

* * *

Olivia watched as Elliot stroked her face, listened as he told her the story of what had happened the day he didn't visit her in the hospital.

Her heart ached for him, as it always did, when he told of how he'd thought the worst that morning he didn't find her in her room as expected.

What Elliot didn't know, was that she had been with him every night since the one he had first sensed her presence in her apartment. She spent her days in the hospital, watching as nurses cared for her body. Her nights were spent in her apartment, watching over her partner. True to his word, after that night he had broken down, he had started staying in the guest room. Olivia would sit with him until he went to bed, then spend her nights on the couch. While he may have an occasional beer with his dinner, Elliot hadn't had any hard liquor to drink since that night, either. He still talked to her at night sometimes, just as he would during the day. It comforted Olivia, made her feel not so alone.

Truth be told, Olivia was growing weary of the limbo she was in. She was tired of feeling cold all the time, tired of feeling empty. She had hoped after they removed the ventilator, things would improve, but everything just stayed the same. She was still afraid to sleep. Yes, she would close her eyes from time to time, rest for a few minutes. But she hadn't slept since that day she woke up in the hospital room and found her body still lying in that bed.

"I'm tired, El. So tired."

She spoke to her partner, who at this moment was back to holding her hand, encouraging her to wake up once more. She wasn't sure how much longer she could keep doing this. She wanted to stay and look after her partner, but if she was ever going to wake up and watch over him again in the 'real world', maybe sleep was what she needed to do. She made up her mind that tonight, she would allow herself to give in and sleep.

She was pulled away from her thoughts when the door to her room opened, and in walked her Captain. He was closely followed by Fin and Munch. It wasn't the first they had visited, but it was the first they had all visited together in awhile. Curious, she leaned in to listen.

"Afternoon, Elliot. How is our girl today?" This came from Munch, who extended a bag to the detective sitting by Olivia's bedside.

"The doctors who were in earlier said something about having noticed some rapid eye movement. Said it could be a sign she's trying to wake up."

Elliot couldn't help the hopeful smile that crossed his face as he told his colleagues this news. Ever since he had heard the doctors mention it, he had clung fast to it, needing something to hold on to. Something that would tell him that Olivia was still in there, fighting for a way to come back.

The room was quiet as they all absorbed the information Elliot had shared. He took the opportunity in the silence to dig through the bag Munch had handed him, pulling out containers of wrapped food.

"It's not much," Munch started to say apologetically,

"But we figured you were probably sick of the cafeteria food."

Elliot shook his head, dismissing his friend's concerns. He also didn't want to admit to them that more often than not, he tended to skip lunch while in the hospital visiting Olivia. He would wait until he got back to her apartment at night, either stopping for take out on the way back, or having something delivered.

It was Fin who intuited his thoughts, and called him out.

"You have been eating haven't you, Stabler? Because I don't want Olivia kicking _my_ ass when she wakes up, all because you weren't taking care of yourself."

Elliot took care in considering his answer. He knew he couldn't lie to a roomful of detectives, they'd figure it out before he even spoke.

"I'm eating...enough"

At their dubious glances he continued on, in order to both clarify his meaning and defend himself.

"I stopped at the store one night on my way home for basic groceries. I have toast or cereal before I leave for the hospital, along with a glass of juice."

He took a bite of the lunch his friends had brought him, chewing it thoroughly and swallowing before finishing his explanation.

"True, I don't always eat during the day like I should. It's hard enough to leave Olivia by herself at night, I'm not going to leave her alone during the day if I can help it."

It was the Captain who spoke up next.

"Elliot, you know you could always call on one of us. We would be happy to sit with her and keep her company so you could take a break, all you need to do is ask."

Elliot nodded his agreement, even though he knew he would never take them up on their offer. Just like he knew he could never share the fact with them that he talked to Olivia daily. Not just here in the hospital, but at night when he was alone in her apartment. He would talk to her, and he still believed that somehow, she could hear him.

Ever since that second night he stayed at her place, the night he attempted to drown his sorrows in whiskey, he had become convinced he could sense her presence everywhere around him. He was watching over her every day, eagerly awaiting any change in her condition, no matter how small. But in truth, he believed she was watching over him. That was the one thing that kept him from sinking into the depths of guilt that threatened to overtake him at every turn.

He didn't know what he would say to her when she awoke, if it was a topic he could even bring up. Perhaps it would be best to leave it up to her. Maybe it was something that was all in his imagination, and she really wasn't there after all.

Lost in his thoughts, he hadn't realized that his Captain was speaking to him again.

"Elliot? Elliot!"

"Sorry Cap. What were you saying?"

"I just asked you if you were getting enough rest. Judging by your response, my guess to that would be a 'no'"

As he was catching disapproving looks from not only his Captain, but Fin and Munch as well, Elliot had the decency to try and look as though he were taking them seriously. He knew they were only concerned.

"Elliot. Take a break. Go for a walk. Something – anything – that gets you out of this room for awhile. We'll stay with her until you get back.

Elliot nodded his agreement, having realized that it was pointless to argue against the three of them. He re-wrapped his sandwich and put it in the bag, so that he could take it with him. Thanking them again, he cast another glance at Olivia over his shoulder before leaving the room.

"Man, I didn't think he'd ever leave."

This comment came from Fin, who had moved to take a seat in Elliot's vacated chair. Reaching out his hand, he brushed it over the forehead of the woman who lay sleeping before him.

"You need to wake up soon, Baby Girl. Elliot's getting harder to keep under control. You know you're the only one of us who can manage him."

His voice was gruff with emotion as he talked to the woman who he considered to be like a little sister. He wasn't sure how to talk to her when she was like this.

The group of men sat in silence for awhile, hoping that Elliot was using the time away to eat the food they had provided and take some time for himself.

* * *

Having grown weary of the hospital, and knowing Olivia was in good hands, Elliot chose to walk about two blocks away to a small park-like area. The small green area with its fountain, benches, and trees provided a peaceful setting. Deciding to forgo a bench, he chose instead to sit under one of the trees, resting his back against the trunk. He pulled what remained of his lunch out of the sack he had carried with him, and began to eat.

As he ate, he thought about his conversation with the captain. He couldn't help but feel like his superior officer didn't believe him when it came to his self-care. That they didn't believe him when he said he was getting enough rest.

Truth be told, while he may not have necessarily been eating the way he should, he was sleeping. What he hadn't admitted to anyone was that he was having the most horrific nightmares. It seemed every time he closed his eyes, he was thrown back to that terrible day. Visions played in his mind, each more terrible than the last. Always with Stevens voice taunting him.

The worst nightmare of late had been just the night before. It had taken a full hour to shake those images. He could still remember the way he had woken up, bathed in sweat, shaking like a leaf.

Up until last night, he'd thought nothing could be worse than the dreams he'd been having of rushing to Olivia's aid, only to find her beyond help. That scenario proved to be a recurring event for him each night while he slept.

He cast the last bit of his sandwich to the side, unable to finish. So focused was he on the memory of last night's horrors.

The dream had began like most of them did. With Stevens gaining control of the uni's gun, taking Dickie hostage. Rejecting all offers of negotiations. The scene played itself out, and he was helpless to do anything but watch.

But this time, when he ran to Liv, and cradled her in his arms, it wasn't with compassion that she received him. Gasping and fighting for her every breath, she wheezed out the words " _You did this. You killed me._ " before going limp in his arms.

It was always bad enough blaming himself, but to have her blame him as well, to have those be the last words she ever spoke to him, shook him to the very core of his soul. He had to keep reminding himself that Olivia was still alive and while still in a coma, she was now breathing on her own. That her last words before losing consciousness had not been to accuse, but to reassure.

Looking at his watch, he realized he had been away from the hospital for about forty-five minutes now. Feeling somewhat recharged from the food and the fresh air, he started the walk back. He made a detour on his way back to buy coffee for himself and the guys, something better to drink than what the hospital had to offer. Carrying the tray with him, he walked into the lobby and headed toward the elevators that would take him back up to Olivia's room.

The men sat around talking, drinking their coffee. Occasionally, one of them would mention something funny that had occurred during a case, or a memory that they had recalled. Soon, the time came for the others to leave. They all encouraged Elliot to go with them, but he refused. He was determined to stay with Olivia until visiting hours were up, just as he had every night since she had been in the hospital. Only then would he allow himself to go.

Once they were alone again, Elliot sat back in his usual chair by Olivia's bed. Per their usual late afternoon routine, he turned the television on and tuned it to the local news station. He didn't want her missing out on anything that was going on in the world, even if she happened to be sleeping through it. Once the news was over, he began to talk to his partner once more.

"What do you think we should do for dinner tonight, Liv?"

He looked over at her, wishing as he always did that she would chime in with her opinion. Hell, at this point he'd even welcome one of the arguments they used to have. Anything would beat these one-sided conversations.

"Pasta, El. You deserve a hearty meal. Something better than all the pizza and Chinese you've had lately."

Olivia spoke to her partner from her usual spot in the corner, where she would watch the goings-on of the day, before returning to her apartment at night to watch over Elliot there, too.

She watched as he appeared to be deep in thought, and then he spoke into the open air of the room once again.

"I think pasta sounds good. Maybe some Alfredo. As soon as you get better, Liv, I promise I'll take you to that bistro you like for some Chicken Alfredo. I know it's your favorite."

Olivia smiled at his offer. It sounded wonderful. What also had made her smile was it seemed that Elliot had either heard her, or if perhaps their thoughts were in sync as they always were.

The rest of the day passed quickly, too quickly for Elliot's liking. Soon the hour was upon him that meant he would have to leave and go back to Olivia's place. On more than a few occasions, he had to stop himself from referring to the place as 'home'. He was sure what had shaken him more: calling his partner's apartment – a place he had been crashing out of necessity for a little less than three weeks now – home, or acknowledging to himself that it didn't feel like a home without her in it.

Somehow, between the standoff and Olivia's subsequent coma, Elliot felt his feelings for his partner evolving. He wasn't sure if it was a result of the events that had happened, or if they had always been there, under the surface. Perhaps what went on between them that day was just the catalyst to bring those feelings to the forefront.

Shelving those thoughts for another time, Elliot realized that the alarm on his phone had gone off, signaling the end of visiting hours. As he always did before he left, he made sure his partner was covered by enough blankets, to ensure she wouldn't be cold. He brushed the hair off her forehead, and whispered a good-night in her ear, with promises to return in the morning. As always, he placed a kiss on her forehead, right over the tiny scar that remained from the second time he had struck her with the gun. It was one of his ways of making sure he apologized every day, without using words. Having ensured his partner was as comfortable as she could possibly be, he turned to leave for the night, knowing he would return again the next morning.

* * *

Olivia was waiting on the couch for Elliot to get back, just as she did every night once she had discovered she was able to travel to her apartment at night. Part of her wondered if she should have opted to stay in the hospital, given how weak she still felt. Ultimately, it boiled down to the fact that she wanted to sleep tonight, and she didn't want to be alone.

The sound of keys in the lock shook her from her thoughts, and she looked up to see Elliot walking through the door, bags in his arms. He walked over and set them on the kitchen counter. As he unloaded them, he began to talk.

"Sorry I'm later than usual tonight Liv. I stopped at the store to grab a few things. Don't worry – I called on my way home to place an order for dinner, it should arrive soon. I'm taking care of myself, I promise."

As always, she felt a pull in her heart at his reassurances. She knew it was taking everything within him to do the most simple of tasks, such as eating and sleeping. If not for the strict visiting policy of the hospital, she had no doubt he'd be on a constant vigil at her bedside. Even more constant that the vigil he kept now.

"I don't know why, Liv, but leaving you behind today was harder than it has been for awhile. I really didn't want to go."

It struck her again, hearing his confession, just how in tune they were, even now. He could still sense when she needed him.

As if to prove her point, he added

"It's not as if you can just call me on the phone and tell me to come and stay with you. I don't know if you're scared, if you're lonely...if you are in pain."

Walking up to where he stood so that she was behind him, she placed her hands on his shoulders.

"There are only two things that scare me, Elliot. One is the way you still insist on punishing yourself, and two – that I'm going to be stuck in this limbo forever, and never get to have a real conversation with you again."

Olivia found herself interrupted when the intercom buzzed, indicating that Elliot's dinner had arrived. She watched as he paid for his meal, then carried it into the kitchen. Grabbing a drink from the fridge, he brought the bag with him into the living room, opting to forgo a plate and eat directly from the take-out container. She smiled when she saw that he had in fact ordered Chicken Alfredo, as he had discussed with her earlier today.

As he had most nights sitting in Olivia's apartment eating his dinner, Elliot switched on the TV. He never really paid attention to what he watched, it was mainly for company. Something to break up the silence. Tonight was no different.

He finished his meal, threw away his trash. Turned off the television and headed into the guest room. Once there, he grabbed a few things, which he took into the bathroom with him. He had decided to shave and shower tonight, in the hopes of trying to sleep a little later in the morning. The long days were catching up with him. He knew Olivia wouldn't mind if he took a little extra time in the morning for himself.

Elliot emerged from his shower feeling refreshed, and walked through the apartment one final time before turning in. He made sure the door was locked, turned off all the lights, and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge to take in with him.

Olivia watched as he went through his nightly routine, and again felt the weariness seep throughout her. Seeing him head into the guest room, she was about to turn into her room for the night, but changed her mind at the last minute.

Taking tentative steps, she walked toward the guest room. Elliot had already crawled under the covers, and was lying there with just the bedside lamp on. Both arms were folded under his head, propping it up, as he stared at the ceiling. He looked lost for words, like he was searching for something. He was quiet a few moments longer, then he spoke.

"Olivia, I know I've said this every night for awhile now, but I hope tomorrow will be the day you wake up."

Olivia, as she was every night, was moved by his words. He always sounded so desperate when he said it.

Like the night she comforted him when he first started staying here, she put aside her reservations. She also had to put aside her pride, because instead of doing this in an attempt to offer him comfort, tonight she was seeking comfort for herself. She didn't know what was going to happen tonight when she fell asleep. If this was by chance the last time she were ever to close her eyes, she wanted to have her best friend by her side. She hoped that if things did go the other way, he would remember that she had never once blamed him for any of this situation.

Walking around to the other side of the bed, but keeping a respectable distance above the covers, Olivia lay down next to her partner. She was shocked when he pulled an extra blanket up over the comforter tonight, something he didn't normally do. This blanket ensured that she would be covered, too.

They both turned on their sides at the same time, Elliot unknowingly facing Olivia. She took a few minutes to study his face, committing it to memory, just in case. Taking a few deep breaths, she closed her eyes and let sleep claim her.

* * *

Elliot awoke to the ringing of his phone. Disoriented, he felt around on the nightstand for the offending device which had awoken him.

"Stabler" He answered, his voice garbled from sleep.

"This is Elliot Stabler, correct?" a voice on the other end questioned.

"It is. Who is calling?"

"I'm Olivia Benson's nurse here at the hospital, and we're calling you because..."

Elliot heard the words 'Olivia' 'nurse' and 'hospital' in the same sentence and his stomach turned to ice. Grasping on the bedside table for his watch, he saw that it was just after three in the morning. His heart began to pound in his chest. What was this woman saying?

"I'm sorry" He said "Can you repeat that?"

"Yes, of course" the woman replied.

"I said I'm sorry for calling you at such an early hour, but we've noticed some marked changes in Detective Benson's vitals the last few times we've taken them. It seems to indicate she could be emerging from the coma."

The fear and dread building up in Elliot's insides started to give way to hope. Barely able to breathe, for fear it might all be a dream, he questioned the woman again.

"Are you certain?"

"Yes sir. And I'm sure she'd like it if there was a familiar face nearby when she woke up."

She went on to explain that while they weren't able to pinpoint exactly when she would wake up, all signs did indicate that Olivia would emerge from her coma sooner rather than later. And since it seemed more imminent, they were willing to overlook the strict rules of visiting hours to allow him to be with her.

Elliot thanked the nurse for her call, and disconnected. He walked into the bathroom and splashed some cold water on his face, trying to wash away the residual feeling of fear that had shaken him when he first received the phone call. His mind had gone to the darkest places when he found out it was the hospital calling. Shaking that thought from his mind, he turned back to the room he was staying in to get dressed.

He made it to the hospital in less than twenty minutes, rushing up to the floor where Olivia was. When he walked into her room, the first thing he noticed was that her face appeared to have more color. She wasn't as pale and drawn as she had been.

Taking his place at her bedside, he pulled her hand into both of his, and raised it to his lips. Kissing it softly, he spoke to her.

"Come on Olivia, you can do this. Keep fighting. You've come this far, now I just need you to open your eyes."

He moved one of his hands away from hers to stroke her forehead, taking heart when he felt her eyelids flutter briefly under his palm. Her fingers flexed in his hand, and she expelled a soft exhale of breath.

"That's it Liv. Take your time. I'll be here. I'll wait as long as it takes."

He spoke words to soothe her, encourage her.

He watched out the window as light began to dawn over the city, and looked at his watch. He hadn't wanted to call the Captain and the guys too soon. Didn't want to scare them the way he had been by the early morning call. Part of him didn't want to tell them just yet. Wanted to keep this bit of news as a secret between himself and Olivia. But he had promised to give them updates whenever he heard anything new.

He took out his phone, and composed a group text message to send to all three. He knew he should probably call, but didn't want to leave Olivia's side for even a minute. He explained the situation as best he could, and let them know that he was at the hospital if they needed to get in touch with him.

Putting his phone back in his pocket, he took her hand in his once more. He had expected to be feeling tired from having had his sleep interrupted, but was still operating on the rush of adrenaline from earlier. He didn't even feel a need to get any coffee, fearing caffeine would only make him jittery and anxious.

A soft moan from the woman on the bed captured his attention, pulling him from his thoughts. All of his senses were on alert, and he watched her intently.

Olivia moaned again in her sleep, gradually coming into awareness. Everything hurt, and all her muscles were stiff. Her head felt groggy, like it was full of rocks. Her eyelashes felt like they were glued shut. Her mouth was so dry. What was going on?

She tried to stretch, but something – or rather someone – was holding tight to her hand. She grasped the hand that held hers tighter in return, grateful to not be alone. Still she struggled, feeling somewhat like a swimmer underwater trying to break through to the surface.

Elliot watched, transfixed, as he felt Olivia's hand squeeze tight around his own. He heard her moan again, watched her shift in the bed. He was holding his breath, eyes flicking over her face and body, watching every move she made. He glanced down to watch her legs move under the covers, and when he looked back up to stare at her face, her eyes were open ever so slightly.

"Liv?" He called to her, his voice barely more than a whisper.

A blink. Her fingers flexed in his palm.

"Olivia?" He tried again.

This time her head turned ever so slightly in the direction of his voice. Her lips parted, and on a soft exhale of breath, he heard her weakly utter one word.

"El?"

He was immensely relived to be sitting at her bedside, for if he wasn't sitting down, he feared his legs would have given out on him. Even though it was just one word, one syllable, it was the best thing he could have ever heard her say.

"It's okay, Olivia. I'm here."

She blinked a few more times, gradually becoming aware of the fact that she was in a hospital bed, and Elliot was at her side. Finally opening her eyes at last, she turned her head to face him.

When her eyes had finally completely opened, and she turned to look at him, it was all he could do to keep from sweeping her up in his arms. His relief was that great. There was so much he wanted to tell her, ask her. But he didn't want to overwhelm her. Instead he chose to keep things simple for now. There would be time for other, much deeper conversations, later.

"Liv. I'm so glad you're awake"

She tried to give him a weak, but reassuring smile. He still had yet to let go of her hand. There were so many questions he was sure she needed to ask as well, but something had to be taken care of first.

"I'm sure you have so many questions, but first I have to let them know you're awake."

As he said the words, he reached with his free hand to push the call button beside her bed. While they waited for a nurse to come in, he continued to reassure her.

"I promise you, Liv. I will explain anything you want to know. I just want to have them check you out first, okay?"

Unable to find the right words, Olivia nodded her agreement. She was still trying to figure out what was going on. She studied his face intently. It almost seemed to her that her partner, who was always so tough in outward appearances, was struggling with his emotions. So much to the point, that it seemed he was trying not to cry. It told her that whatever had happened to her must have been serious, to effect him to such a degree.

The door to her room opened, and a nurse was standing there.

"Can I help you? Oh! You're awake! I'll page the doctor right away!"

She hurried to do so, only to return a few minutes later. Then she began the task of taking Olivia's vitals, and asking her simple questions. Her name, age, date of birth, and so on. Once she was complete with that routine, she raised the bed slightly, bringing Olivia to a somewhat more elevated position. Ensuring her patient was comfortable, she left the room.

When the doctor came in soon after, he asked Elliot to leave. Olivia looked nervous at this, but her partner gave her a reassuring smile, and told her he'd be back as soon as possible. He raised her hand to his lips, giving it a kiss before placing it back to her side, then left the room, allowing the doctor to examine her in private.

Elliot, feeling overwhelmed with relief, headed for the visitor lounge. He was so beside himself he didn't know what to do. Pulling his phone from his pocket, he chose to dial the station. He wanted to tell the Captain about Olivia.

"Captain Cragen speaking"

"Cap, it's Elliot. Olivia's awake."

Elliot didn't bother with small talk, but got straight to the point. The shock on the other end of the line was evident given the long silence.

"That's fantastic news, Elliot! How is she doing?"

Elliot heard the Captain's question, and wished he had better answers to give the man. For now though, just being able to give the news that Olivia was awake seemed enough.

"The doctor is in with her now. I haven't had much time to talk with her. I just wanted you to know."

"Of course, Elliot. I'll pass this news along to Munch and Fin. Perhaps we can stop by the hospital after we leave the station tonight."

Elliot nodded his agreement, before remembering that the Captain couldn't see him. He then spoke into the phone again, giving his answer.

"That would be great Cap. I'm sure she would be glad to see all of you."

They talked for a few minutes more before saying their farewells, and hanging up. Once that phone call was done, Elliot made a second call. This one was to his son, Dickie. While he knew all of his children were concerned about Olivia's recovery, given the circumstances, Dickie deserved to know first.

The phone call to his son was as full of much relief and excitement as the one to his captain had been. Dickie had even expressed interest in wanting to visit Olivia again. They made arrangements that he would come to the hospital the following day. Elliot had warned him, though, that he wasn't sure what Olivia did or did not remember in regards to her injury. Nevertheless, he assured his son she would be glad to see him.

By the time Elliot was finished making his phone calls, had helped himself to a cup of coffee, and had used the restroom, the doctor was leaving Olivia's room. He anxiously rushed back to catch up with the man as he was walking down the hall.

"Doctor! How is she?"

The doctor turned to face him, regarding him quietly for a moment. Remembering that this man standing in front of him was not only Detective Benson's emergency contact and next of kin, but had been present at the hospital every day throughout her ordeal.

"Considering what she has been through, I'm pleased with her condition. She is alert, and remarkably coherent. There is some confusion, but that is to be expected."

The doctor went on to explain in greater detail about the short battery of tests he performed on Olivia, and that her reflexes and reactions were all at normal levels. He did state that he'd like to perform additional tests either later on, or the following day.

It didn't surprise Elliot to learn that Olivia had already been asking when she could go home. The doctor told Elliot, as he had informed his patient, that once all her tests came back clear, he would have no problem releasing her. He expected that to happen sometime in the next three or four days, as he also wanted to schedule her for a couple physical therapy sessions. While she'd had physical therapists working with her while in the coma, he still wanted her to have a few sessions before her release.

After hearing the doctors explanation, Elliot thanked the man and shook his hand. He was relieved that there would be no long term effects for Olivia. A little confusion was something he could deal with. He turned to head back to her room, anxious to see her again.

* * *

Elliot entered Olivia's room, a sense of warmth filling him when her smiling face greeted him as he walked through the door. He returned the look with a grin of his own, so happy to see her awake at last.

A nurse was still in the room, helping Olivia get adjusted to a more upright position. After making sure her patient didn't need anything else, she started to leave the room. She paused once she reached the door, adding as an afterthought.

"I almost forgot – are you feeling hungry, Detective Benson? I can order a tray from dietary for you, if you'd like."

Olivia considered the offer, before shaking her head to indicate the negative.

"I'm fine for now, thank you. Maybe I will feel up to trying something later."

The nurse nodded her understanding, then walked out of the room. The two partners were alone once again.

Elliot had returned to his seat by Olivia's bedside, and continued to feel the relief wash over him as his eyes scanned over her. He wanted to reach for her hand again, but uncertain if she would welcome the touch or not, opted to remain where he was. Instead, he chose to ask her a question.

"How are you feeling?"

Olivia gave him a wan smile, as she leaned back against the pillows.

"Confused. Overwhelmed."

"I'll bet." Elliot said in an understanding tone.

Noticing Olivia still seemed somewhat tense and uneasy, her hand twitching uncomfortably at her side, Elliot took a chance. He reached out and grasped it in his own. She resisted at first, tensing in his hold, but then relaxed her hand into the warmth of his palm. The calm his touch provided seemed to permeate throughout her body, as he watched the tension evaporate from the rest of her.

"What happened Elliot? I can remember bits and pieces – Stevens, Dickie – other parts of that day. The last thing I can clearly recall is you staring down at me, you looked so scared."

Elliot took a minute to compose himself as the images flooded his memory once again. He knew she had every right to know what had happened, and hoped he could stay calm enough to explain it to her. She deserved that. Not sure where to begin, he opted to go with the truth.

"I was terrified Liv. You can tell me not to blame myself all you want, but as a result of my actions – because I fired my gun – you were shot. Not just once, but twice. Stevens may have put you in the line of fire, but I'm still the one who pulled the trigger."

He went on to explain in detail the aftermath of what happened after she lost consciousness. He didn't leave anything out, giving vivid detail of how he had been so frightened when she had stopped breathing, his desperate attempts to resuscitate her. He spoke of the endless hours waiting while she was in surgery, of how many who cared so deeply that they lined up to donate blood.

Once he got started in his story, it was hard to stop, and his tale continued to unwind. The words just kept pouring forth. He told his partner of how he'd been staying at her place ever since the day she'd been injured, how he came to the hospital every day to keep vigil by her bedside. The moments when he could swear he felt her presence oh so close, how it both frightened and comforted him the first time he felt that sensation.

Elliot must have talked for over an hour, and Olivia just sat there, listening, while he held her hand. She was trying to absorb all she heard. As he talked, it was as if she had brief flashes of déjà vu. She could remember the events happening, but wasn't sure how she was aware of it.

As he finished his tale, he looked completely drained. Sensing this, Olivia wanted to comfort him in some way. Prove to him that she really was awake, and that everything was going to be okay. She shifted over in the bed, and tugging on his hand gently, pulled him in her direction.

"Come here, Elliot"

Elliot allowed himself to be pulled toward his partner, following her lead. He moved to sit on the edge of the bed, and twisting his upper body so that he was facing her. He watched as she leaned forward into him, and closed his eyes as he felt her arms wrap around him. Returning her embrace, he closed his eyes and rested his head on her shoulder.

It was Olivia who broke the silence, speaking softly.

"It's okay El. I'm going to be okay."

He held her close, and his voice shook as he replied.

"You don't know how long I've been waiting to hear you say that."

They stayed that way for a few moments longer, not speaking. Both of them drawing comfort from the arms of the other. They both pulled back at the same time, their eyes locked on one another. They shared a smile.

Elliot went to move back to his chair, concerned he was crowding Olivia. She held on to his arm, giving a slight shake of her head.

"Stay. Please?"

The look on his face shocked her, and she immediately began to backtrack, worried she had overstepped.

"I mean, if you don't mind. I know its not a terribly comfortable way to sit -"

He raised a hand to her lips, silencing her with his fingertips. When she stopped speaking, and raised her eyes to meet his, he spoke to her.

"Liv, stop. I'll gladly stay as long as you want."

He paused a moment, then an idea came to him. Hoping that his partner would be receptive to it, he offered it up as a suggestion.

"I have an idea. Can we try something?"

When she nodded her consent, Elliot stood for a moment then turned around to sit back down on the bed with her. She shifted over ever so slightly to allow him room. He raised one of his legs up on the bed, keeping the other braced on the floor. Wrapping one of his arms around her shoulders, he pulled his partner into his body, so that she reclined sideways against him. She resisted at first, but then relaxed against him. He brought his hand up to run it through her hair, soothing her as he had done so many times during her coma. Neither of them had to say another word, they just sat together in silence, finding comfort in the company of each other.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Olivia still hadn't had much of a desire to eat anything. A tray had been delivered with the lunchtime meal, but she merely picked at it with disinterest. Knowing his partner had to be hungry, after not having eaten anything for over two weeks, Elliot tried to come up with a solution. All of a sudden, an idea came to him. He called for the nurse. When she came into the room asking if she could help with anything, he asked her a question.

"Does Detective Benson have any dietary restrictions? I mean, does she _have_ to eat the food provided by the hospital? Or can I go out and get her something else?"

The nurse paused to consider his request before replying.

"I don't see a problem with that. The doctor has her on a regular diet. I wouldn't go with anything to heavy though, since it's been awhile since she's eaten solid foods."

Elliot smiled in relief. Then nodded his understanding.

"That's fine. I was thinking more along the lines of going to pick her up a bowl of soup or something. Thank you."

The nurse agreed that soup would be a wonderful starter to beginning to eat, and joked that anything would be better than what the cafeteria had to offer. After that, she left the room.

Olivia, who had been dozing lightly during this exchange, opened her eyes. She had overheard the comments between her partner and the nurse, and couldn't resist adding a comment of her own.

"I know you got used to it while I was 'out', but you really don't need to keep talking about me like I'm not in the room".

The grin on her face reassured him she was in no way upset or angry at his actions. If anything, she was amused. Because she knew, from the way he had explained things to her earlier, that he had never treated her like she wasn't present. He always had talked to her like she was with him.

Walking back to her bed, he sat down beside her once again. Reaching out with one hand to brush her hair back, he tried to reason with her.

"You've got to try and eat something, Liv. Please. I'll go out and get you anything you want."

Olivia was quiet as she considered his request. She was feeling slightly hungry, but part of her was scared to eat after not having done so for so long. She was afraid of overeating and causing an upset stomach. After being silent for a few moments, she answered him.

"I heard you mention soup to the nurse. That sounds good."

Elliot nodded his approval. Gathering his jacket in his hands, he turned to leave. Olivia just watched him, knowing he would be back soon. She didn't even have to tell him what kind of soup she wanted, knowing instinctively that he would bring back her favorite. He knew her that well. As he walked out the door, she settled back into the bed to rest while she waited for his return.

Elliot had been gone for about twenty minutes when the door opened. Thinking it was her partner, Olivia turned her head to greet him. She was pleasantly surprised to see three men walking through. They all had huge smiles on their faces at the sight of her. Each of them in turn walked up to her to squeeze her hand, or press a tender kiss along her forehead.

"Cap...Fin...Munch...its so good to see all of you." Olivia said, feeling a bit overcome with emotion.

"No, Olivia. You have no idea how good it is for us to see _you_." These words came from Munch, but it was obvious the same sentiments were echoed among the other men.

Sensing they were surprised to find her alone, Olivia explained that Elliot had stepped out to get her something to eat, and would be back soon. She looked on as they all found seats, and began to ask her about what had been going on since she woke up earlier that morning. Not wanting to hide anything from them, she answered their questions the best she could, as she was still feeling a bit overwhelmed from it all.

The door to the room opened again, and Elliot stepped through, carrying a paper sack. He seemed surprised to find the room full of visitors. Referring to the bag in his hands, he addressed the group.

"If I'd have known you were all going to be here, I'd have gotten enough food for everyone. I just picked up some soup for Liv and I."

This time it was the Captain who spoke up, allaying his nerves.

"Don't worry about that, Elliot. We already ate."

Elliot nodded, then stepped closer to the bedside tray and began to set out the items he had purchased. Moving the table so it was within easy access for Olivia, he placed a spoon and container in front of her, along with a napkin. Giving her a smile, he moved back to his own chair to eat his meal.

Olivia hesitated before picking up the spoon. Then she relaxed, realizing that she was among friends, who had all seen her eat on a near daily basis. She had nothing to feel self-conscious about. And the aroma of the soup in front of her was making her realize just how hungry she was.

She had eaten a little more than half of the serving when she stopped, realizing that she couldn't finish any more. Setting the spoon down, she pushed the bowl to the side. Elliot looked over to her in concern. She shook her head at him, letting him know there was nothing to worry about.

The guys stayed for a little over an hour more, the group all talking casually among themselves. Then, they made their excuses to leave, noticing that Olivia was getting tired. As they were headed to the door, it was John who spoke.

"We sure miss seeing you around the station, Elliot. The place won't be the same without you."

No sooner than the words left his lips, Fin gave him a light smack upside the head, telling him to be quiet. Elliot shot him an evil glare.

Munch, realizing that he had just stuck his foot in his mouth, tried to backtrack, to no avail. He then made his excuses to go.

"Well, look at the time. I really must be going. Glad to see you're awake Olivia. I'll be back to visit you again soon."

With that, he headed out the door, Fin hot on his heels. The Captain, shaking his head followed them. After watching them leave, Elliot turned to face Olivia, almost afraid to meet the look in her eye.

"What did he mean by that, Elliot?"

Her voice was quiet, but he still heard every word. Knowing that there was no way to dissuade her from this conversation, he pushed the tray to the side. Choosing to sit beside her on the bed once more, he took both her hands in his.

"I haven't been back to work since that day you were shot."

Olivia's concern was immediate.

"Did something go wrong with the IAB investigation? I can talk to them, tell them it was all my idea to -"

He silenced her with a look, cutting her off mid-sentence. He searched her eyes before continuing.

"IAB cleared me, Liv. This is all on me."

He took a deep breath, trying to swallow back the tears he felt forming.

"I don't know that I can ever pick up that gun again, knowing what I did."

He felt Olivia squeeze his hands in hers, and saw the look of understanding wash over her face. It was immediately replaced with a look of pain.

"Elliot." she whispered. She grasped his hands tighter, and never once broke eye contact.

"You've got to find a way to stop taking the blame. Please. It breaks my heart that you still hold yourself responsible."

She licked her lips, and it was obvious to him that she, too was struggling with her emotions. When she spoke next, her voice was no more than a whisper.

"Take all the time you need, but I don't want you giving up your career over me. There's no one else I'd want to have my back."

He could do nothing else but nod. It wasn't an agreement of sorts that he would go back, but more that he would consider her words. They both knew that this discussion wasn't over, but both had reached the limit of what they could handle for now. The emotions ran too deep. She was still too fragile, having just woken up that morning.

He inwardly cursed John and his big mouth. It wasn't that he intended to keep it from her forever, but he had hoped to protect her just a little while longer. Now she would be worried about him, when she should be focused on her own recovery.

"Make you a deal?" He said to her, searching her eyes for an agreement to what he was about to propose.

At her nod, he continued.

"I won't make any rash decisions. I won't do anything without talking to you first. Just not now. Your recovery comes first."

She opened her mouth to argue, but was silenced by a look from him. Then she nodded yet again, conceding that he was right.

They passed the rest of the day enjoying each others company. Elliot filled Olivia in on things she had missed while she was in her coma. At around seven in the evening, Olivia began to grow tired. Even though there was still time left in visiting hours, she encouraged Elliot to go home and get some rest, too. She joked that he had already spent enough time watching her sleep.

Though reluctant to leave, he agreed that he, too was tired. He had almost forgotten that he had been awake since that phone call early this morning. Was it really only sixteen hours ago that he got the call Olivia was emerging from her coma, he thought? While those two weeks she was unresponsive had seemed to drag on forever, today had rushed by so quickly. He couldn't seem to get enough time with her.

He made sure that she didn't need anything, and when she assured him that she would call a nurse if she did, he agreed to go. He promised to return the next morning, and even teased a special visitor. This piqued Olivia's curiosity, but he refused to give her any hints.

He gathered his things to leave, then as he always did every night before leaving the hospital, bent to kiss Olivia on her forehead. If she seemed surprised by this open gesture of affection now that she was awake, she didn't let on.

* * *

When Elliot returned the following morning, he found Olivia's bed empty. He tried to quell the fear and anxiety that welled up in him, and went to find her nurse. She explained that Olivia was down at physical therapy for an early session, and should be up in her room shortly. Relieved, Elliot returned to her room to wait for her.

While he was waiting, he received a phone call. It was Dickie, asking when would be an appropriate time to visit. They talked it over, and decided he would come in after lunch. His son asked if he needed to bring anything, and Elliot initially told him that wasn't necessary. As an afterthought, though, he added something. He asked his son to call before he came, to see if by chance they needed him to bring any food for them to eat. This way, Elliot would have no need to leave the hospital. He assured his son he would reimburse him for any expenses this would incur. Dickie told him not to worry about it, so relieved was he to be able to do something to help Olivia. Their phone call finished, they hung up.

He had just placed his phone back in his pocket when Olivia was wheeled in the room by an orderly. She didn't look pleased about her mode of transportation, but was cooperating anyway. The man with her helped her back into bed, and asked if she needed anything. When she said she didn't, he left the room, taking the wheelchair with him.

"You're here early." Olivia remarked, bypassing a traditional 'hello' as a means of greeting her partner.

"Not so early, Liv. It's after ten." He told her.

He watched the surprise flicker over her features as she registered this news.

"Already? How long did they keep me down there?" She mused.

At his questioning look, she went on to explain what physical therapy was like for her. Mostly, it involved basic exercises. They had her use a stationary bike and treadmill for awhile. Also she worked with some low impact weights doing simple arm exercises. Trying to regain some of the muscle strength she might have lost during her two weeks in a coma.

She said she wasn't sore after her exercises, just a little tired. It would take her awhile to build up her stamina again. Elliot suggested that after she was released from the hospital, the two of them take daily walks to help her regain her strength. She smiled at that, and agreed that it sounded like a nice idea. But she couldn't resist adding a little dig of her own.

"I guess I'll have no choice, seeing as you've taken up residence in my apartment."

Elliot seemed unsure of how to respond to that. He didn't know whether or not she was serious.

"I can start looking for a place of my own as soon as you're released. It's just with you in the hospital -" he trailed off.

"Relax, El." she calmed his nerves. "I was only kidding"

"You can stay at my apartment for as long as you need to."

He nodded, and the conversation was dropped.

He passed the rest of the morning chatting with her, watching as she fought sleep. He could tell when she finally gave in to it, as her body relaxed, and her head dropped to the side. He sat quietly, reading the paper he had brought, letting her rest.

She slept for a little over an hour, and was awakened when someone brought in her lunch tray. Watching as she viewed the meal in front of her with disinterest, he couldn't help but push her.

"Liv, you need to eat."

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow, indicating the meal in front of her with one hand, almost as if to say " _You expect me to eat this_?"

She was about to open her mouth to argue with him, when they were interrupted by the ringing of his phone.

Holding up a finger, as if to indicate that particular conversation was nowhere near over, Elliot answered. A relieved smile broke out over his face when he realized who the caller was. After speaking for a few minutes, he paused, and placed his palm over the receiver. He spoke to Olivia.

"What would you like to eat, Olivia? Your special guest is coming soon, and has offered to pick you up something on the way."

Olivia, figuring that he was on the phone with either Captain Cragen, or one of the guys from the station, considered what he had asked. She had no problem with one of them bringing her food. It didn't feel like an imposition to ask. It was what they did. They all took care of each other.

Thinking for a moment, she realized what it was she wanted. She told Elliot, who relayed her request over the phone. He seemed pleased that she was actually looking forward to eating something. He spoke for a few minutes more, then disconnected the call.

"So, which one of the guys is leaving the station early to come over with food?" Olivia inquired, curious.

"What? Oh. That wasn't anyone from the precinct." Elliot told her.

He then watched as she got a really puzzled look on her face, loving how she tried to figure out just who he could have possibly been talking to.

"But you said it was a food order – I thought it was just Fin or Munch- I don't want to make anyone go out of their way."

Olivia began to protest, having realized that her lunch order was not coming from someone she worked with.

Placing a hand on her shoulder, he leaned in close to get her to calm down.

"Liv, relax."

He assured her that whomever he had been talking to had asked earlier if there was anything they could do. He also reminded her that they were bringing by lunch for all three of them, so it wasn't as if they were being inconvenienced in any way. Olivia seemed to accept what he was saying, and nodded. She still was curious as to who her visitor would be, though.

She didn't need to wait long. Twenty minutes later, there was a light knock on her door. She and Elliot halted their conversation, and turned their heads toward the source. Elliot stood to go open the door, and Olivia was surprised when she saw who walked through. It was Dickie, Elliot's son. Moreover, it appeared that father and son were getting along better than when she had seen them last.

"Dickie!" She greeted her partners son warmly, glad to see the boy.

Then, having remembered his distaste for that particular nickname, she corrected herself.

"I'm sorry – Richard. Please forgive me for not getting it right."

The teen immediately alleviated all concerns.

"It's alright, Olivia. I told Dad in the hospital the day you were hurt that I don't mind if he calls me Dickie. That day changed a lot for me. It taught me that there are other things more important to worry about than a stupid name."

The room went silent for a moment as all recalled the day in question. It wasn't an uncomfortable or awkward silence, though, and soon enough conversation began again. It was Dickie who spoke first.

"Here, Dad." He said, handing Elliot the large bag he was carrying.

"I got everything you asked for."

The three of them collectively decided that conversation could wait, in favor of food. Together, father and son set up their meal, taking the items out of the bag. They placed Olivia's food in front of her, and each got their own. Chopsticks were passed out all around, and they all sat around her bed to eat.

Olivia couldn't help but laugh as Elliot would occasionally reach in with his chopsticks to steal a bit of her chicken. In turn, she would take some of his food, too. Such was their routine anytime they had Chinese.

Dickie watched their interactions as he ate his own lunch, observing them silently. What he thought would upset him, only gave him a warm feeling inside. Seeing his dad happy again at having Olivia back, watching the two partners act like a couple of kids. Whether the two adults wanted to admit it or not, something was changing between them. At least, it seemed that way to him. They seemed closer, if that was at all possible.

After they finished their meal, Elliot gathered up their trash and put it in the bag it came in, for Dickie to throw away later when he left the hospital. Then they all sat around together to talk. Dickie was hesitant at first, not knowing what to say.

Olivia sensed his anxiety, and tried to put him at ease. She asked him questions about school, and his extra-curricular activities. She listened intently while he told her about the sports he was involved in.

Her questions seemed to act as an ice breaker for the conversation, and the teen began to speak freely. He talked openly with both adults. After a short while though, he grew hesitant, as though something were bothering him.

They both picked up on it, but it was Elliot who addressed the subject first.

"What is it? You can tell us anything, you know that."

Olivia nodded, indicating that she, too, agreed with what Elliot had said. She was willing to listen to whatever he had to say.

Taking a deep breath, he released it all with one exhale, afraid if he didn't, he'd never say what was bothering him.

"It'sallmyfaultOliviayouwerehurtbecauseofme."

Though she needed a moment to decipher the words, she understood the meaning behind them. Olivia felt nothing but compassion for the boy who, like Elliot, must have spent the time she was in a coma with nothing but self-blame.

"Dickie. Come here." she said, encouraging the boy to come and sit beside her.

The teen moved closer, hesitant at first, but obeying her directive.

When he sat in the chair that his father had just vacated, she reached out for him. He startled at first, not expecting this. She should be yelling at him, blaming him. Not comforting him.

Olivia took his hand in hers, and held it. She reached out with her other hand, grasping him firmly under the chin, raising it so that his eyes met her own. Once she was certain she had his full attention, she spoke.

"I want you to know something. I do not blame you. I do not blame your father. I blame Michael Stevens. He is the only man responsible for all of this."

Dickie tried to protest her attempts at comfort

"But -"

"But nothing. Yes, he made you do terrible things. But they weren't your choice. I know you would never have chosen to act upon them if he hadn't forced you to."

She gave him a moment to consider what she had said, then continued.

"You have to forgive yourself, just like I need for your father to forgive himself. I'm awake, I'm getting better – they're probably going to send me home in a couple of days."

Absorbing her words, Dickie nodded. It wouldn't be easy, but he would try and take her advice. There would be a part of him that would always feel guilty. Especially since he could still see a faint scar upon her cheek. He hated to see what the one by her collar bone looked like, although that was hidden by her gown. But it was obvious that she wasn't just speaking words to alleviate his guilt, she truly meant them. She didn't blame him.

There was a quiet that settled among the three of them after that, as though they were all trying to recover in their own ways from the emotional conversation that had just taken place.

Breaking up the somber mood, Elliot reminded them that they hadn't had their dessert yet. So the group all cracked open their fortune cookies, and soon the light hearted atmosphere had returned.

Dickie stayed awhile longer, once again engaged in animated conversation with both his father and Olivia. It was only when he noticed her eyelids begin to droop that he made his excuses to leave.

He promised to return to see her again, though, once she was home and recovering.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" he exclaimed as he gathered his things to leave.

He reached into his backpack, and pulled out a small bag. He passed it to Olivia, along with an explanation.

"My sisters sent you this. They said they were glad you were awake, and would be to visit you soon"

Taking the bag from him, Olivia peered inside. She was pleased to find such items such as lip gloss, a hairbrush, and a few toiletries. Items that she didn't have with her here. Also included was a deck of cards, and a few magazines for her to read. She appreciated their thoughtfulness, and made sure to pass that along to the teen who stood in front of her.

Dickie, who was still standing their awkwardly, wondering if his last question would be too forward. He hoped not.

"Olivia, before I go, could I – that is, would you mind – can I hug you?"

In answer, Olivia opened her arms, welcoming him into an embrace. When he hugged her, it was when he finally started to feel the guilt begin to leave him. Turning into her, so his dad wouldn't hear, he whispered into her ear.

"I know you said it wasn't my fault, but I have to say it anyway. I'm sorry you got hurt."

She heard his words, and held him a little tighter, and whispered back to him.

"Apology accepted. Now I don't want you to worry any more about it."

He reluctantly let go of the hug, feeling ashamed for having held on for so long. He said goodbye to Olivia, and started to say goodbye to his father. He was surprised when his dad said he would walk out with him, but accepted the offer.

Elliot returned to Olivia's room shortly after, to find her flipping through one of the magazines she had been given.

"Everything alright?" she asked, looking up from what she was reading.

"Yes. I just wanted to talk with him for a minute, plus repay him for our lunch."

Olivia nodded.

He was about to say something else, when someone came into the room, pushing a wheelchair.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I'm here to take Detective Benson for some tests."

Olivia sighed, but got out of bed and sat in the chair, resigned to her fate. She watched as Elliot made himself comfortable on her bed, leaning back against the pillow. He pulled the table toward him, holding up the deck of cards, with a questioning look on his face.

"Mind if I borrow these, play some solitaire while you're away? Maybe when you get back, we can play a few hands of something."

She smiled at his offer.

"Go ahead. And when I get back, I'd be happy to kick your ass in a game of cards."

She heard his laughter follow her as she was pushed out of the room and down the hall.

* * *

The rest of Olivia's time in the hospital passed quickly, and before either her or Elliot realized it, her discharge day had arrived. Per Olivia's directive, he had packed a bag with some comfortable clothes in it for her to wear home.

He paced outside her room. The doctor was in there right now, removing the staples from her incisions. They had been in for fourteen days, and it was time for them to be removed. As a substitution, he would be placing steri-strips, to help keep the incisions closed as they continued to heal. But at least with the strips in place, Olivia would be allowed to shower.

The door to Olivia's room opened, and the doctor stepped out. Giving Elliot a reassuring smile, he told him that the staples had been removed without complication. He also said that Olivia had been given instructions for proper care of the strips that had been placed, and was now changing into clothes for her trip home. Elliot shook the man's hand, and thanked him for taking such good care of his partner throughout her hospital stay.

A few more minutes passed, and the door opened yet again. It did Elliot's heart good to see his partner standing there dressed in a pair of drawstring pants and an oversized tee. He had chosen those clothes for her specifically. He wasn't sure if the incisions would be irritated by anything with a waistband, and wanted her to be comfortable. He made sure to include a hoodie for her to throw on over the clothes. Upon finding it in her closet, he immediately had recognized it as his own. He had always figured Kathy had thrown it out.

Shaking those thoughts from his head, he smiled at his partner.

"Almost ready to go?" He asked her.

"Yes. Just waiting on the nurse to bring in the discharge papers."

She turned and walked back into the room, and he followed. He saw that her things were sitting on the bed, neatly packed. The cards and gifts she had accumulated during her stay all placed in the duffel he had used to bring her clothing in. She bent to put on her socks and shoes, and let out a whimper of pain, feeling a twinge in her side and abdomen.

"Shouldn't have done that." she said aloud.

"Liv, sit. Let me help." Elliot encouraged.

"I'm not an invalid, Elliot. I should be able to put on my own damn shoes."

"You're also just coming off two major surgeries, not to mention a coma. It's okay to accept a little help."

She considered his words, then acquiesced. She sat on the bed, and allowed him to help her put on the offending items. He sat on the chair opposite her, and raised her foot, placing it on his thigh. Placing the sock over her foot, he followed with the shoe, tying it to secure it. He then rested his hand on her ankle.

"Liv. I know you want to do things for yourself, but there is no shame in asking for help. And I want to help you."

He gave her a moment to absorb his words, then continued.

"I promise you, I will do everything in my power to not make you feel helpless, or like you can't do things on your own. But I will be there to help you if you need it. Just please, don't be too proud to ask."

Olivia was silent for a moment as she considered all she had said. Then, she nodded. Being the independent woman that she was, it was hard for her to admit she needed help. She was glad to know she wouldn't be going back to her apartment alone. She hoped Elliot wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

Without saying anything more, Elliot quietly finished helping her with her other sock and shoe. Lowering it to the floor, he stood, and raised both hands in her direction, palms up.

Unsure of what he wanted, Olivia placed her hands in his. He said nothing, merely helped her to a standing position. No sooner than he had done so, a nurse came breezing into the room, a stack of papers in her hand.

"I have your discharge forms here, Detective Benson. Now I know the doctor has already gone over the instructions with you, but they are all listed here on this form"

She handed a sheet of paper to Olivia, who in turn passed it to Elliot. He folded it, and slipped it into the side of her duffel bag.

"As you already know, should you have any new or worsening symptoms, you are to return here to the hospital at once."

The nurse continued down her list, going through the routine as she did with every patient she discharged. It seemed to Olivia that she would never finish.

"Now, if you'll just sign here, indicating that you understand all the instructions as I've read them to you, I'll call an escort with a wheelchair, and we can get you discharged."

Olivia signed her name to the page, but spoke up as she did so.

"I understand everything, but I'd prefer not to go out in a wheelchair. I can walk just fine."

"It's hospital policy, dear."

Olivia merely nodded, resigned to having at least one more wheelchair ride before she was free of this place.

Satisfied that all the paperwork was in order, Elliot gathered her bags. He told her that he was going to pull the car around, and would meet her out front. Olivia agreed, and said she would see him there, half joking that if he left without her, she'd never forgive him for it.

The ride home from the hospital was uneventful. Olivia and Elliot didn't really talk much. She made a remark about having no food in her place, and the need to go shopping, but he assured her that it was taken care of. Glancing to his side, he saw that she looked curious. He went on to explain that during his two week stay at her place, he kept a few groceries in the fridge, so that he could have a light breakfast before heading off to the hospital in the mornings.

"Wow. I'm surprised my fridge knew what to do with food in it."

Olivia's comment made them both share a laugh. Elliot followed that comment by saying he would get more groceries later, or perhaps order some in to be delivered.

They found a decent parking space by Olivia's apartment, which relieved Elliot, as he didn't want her to have to walk too far. Not so soon after having been released from the hospital. Yes, she was regaining some of her strength, but no reason to test it all at once.

Much to her frustration, he refused to let her carry anything. He also insisted that they take the elevator. That was one thing she wasn't going to fight him on. She didn't think she could handle all those stairs. Not yet.

They walked into her apartment together. He carried her things into her bedroom, and set them on her bed. Then he walked out, allowing her some privacy.

She came out of her bedroom a few moments later, a few items in her arms. Finding Elliot in the kitchen, she addressed him.

"Would you mind if I took a shower? I'm so sick of the sponge baths I had to take at the hospital. I'd love to feel clean again."

Elliot regarded her for a moment, unsure of how to phrase his response without offending her.

"I don't mind, just can you do me a favor?"

"Okay, what is it?" She asked, wondering what possible favor she could do for him that involved her showering.

"Don't lock the door to the bathroom. Heaven forbid if you should fall or need help in there, I want to be able to get to you."

Olivia initially blanched at his request, thinking he was overreacting. Then she stopped to consider all he had been through. Those two weeks she was in the coma had to have been pure hell for him. Now, she was home from the hospital, and there were tangible things he could do to help her. If leaving the door unlocked while she took a shower would aid his peace of mind, then she would do it.

"No problem Elliot. What are you going to do while I'm showering, fair warning, I may be awhile."

Pleased that she wasn't going to argue with his request, Elliot had to think for a moment.

"I think I'm going to order in some groceries, since I don't think either of us wants to go out again today. Then, I'll sit down and watch some TV, wait for you to come back out. Maybe we can place a call for some food when you do?"

"Sounds good, El. In fact, why don't you order dinner now? That way, it will be here by the time I'm finished."

Elliot nodded, and went to the drawer in her kitchen where her take-out menus were kept. He was halfway there when her voice stopped him.

"If you aren't sick of it by now, I would love to have some pizza tonight."

The fact that Olivia was openly requesting food without being prompted made the decision for Elliot. He would eat whatever she wanted, so long as she was eating.

"Pizza it is. Is there anything special you want from the grocery store?"

Olivia considered that for a moment, then answered.

"Nothing I can think of. I'm sure you'll figure it out. I trust you."

With that, she turned on her heel to head into the bathroom. True to her word, she did not lock the door behind her. Elliot heard the water start up, then moved to the phone to place his call.

* * *

It was nearly thirty minutes later that Olivia emerged from the bathroom. She was wearing a tank top and pajama bottoms, and her hair was wrapped in a towel. She walked over to the sofa and sat down, tucking one foot underneath her.

No sooner than she had taken her seat, the buzzer signaled the arrival of their dinner. Elliot answered, and paid for their meal. He carried their box over to the coffee table, setting it down. As he was walking into the kitchen to grab some plates, the buzzer rang again.

This time, it was their grocery order.

Elliot moved quickly to put away the order, putting away the perishable items first. The rest could wait until after they had eaten. Grabbing two drinks out of the fridge, he carried them into the living room.

He handed one to Olivia, noticing her raised eyebrow when she noticed that he had given her an iced tea, while choosing beer for himself.

"You're still on pain meds, drinking isn't good for you." He explained.

"If you'd rather I didn't drink in front of you..." He said, his voice trailing off...

She smiled, alleviating his worries.

"Don't worry about it El. Drink whatever you like. I don't have the taste for alcohol now anyway."

They ate in silence, Olivia realizing she was hungrier than she had initially thought. She finished two slices before she spoke.

"Did you want to watch a movie?" She asked.

"Sounds good." he replied.

"Just let me finish putting away the groceries, and I'll be back in to join you."

Olivia flipped through the channels, searching for something to watch. While she was doing that, Elliot was busy in the kitchen. He put away the leftover pizza, and also found a place for the rest of the groceries.

Before going back into the living room, he put a bag of popcorn into the microwave to pop, and asked Olivia if she wanted anything else to drink.

He then went into the guest room, and changed into some comfortable sweats and a tee. By the time he had returned to the kitchen, the microwave was signaling it was finished with its job. He removed the popcorn, transferred it to a bowl, and carried it with him to the living room.

Sitting next to Olivia on the sofa, he placed the popcorn between them. They settled in together to watch the movie she had chosen.

Halfway through the movie, with the popcorn all but gone, Olivia's eyes began to droop. Moving the bowl to the coffee table, Elliot wrapped an arm around his partner, and encouraged her to lean into him. He reached behind him, grabbing the blanket from the back of the sofa, and wrapped it around her. Within minutes, she was asleep.

They sat that way for the remainder of the movie. As the credits rolled, Elliot reached for the remote, and turned off the television. He gently got up from the couch, laying Olivia down.

Gathering their empty bottles, he placed them in the popcorn bowl, and carried all of it to the kitchen. He disposed of the trash, put the empty bottles in the recycling bin, and placed the bowl in the sink.

Turning off the lights in the kitchen, he went to the door. He made sure the latch and chain were locked.

Once back in the living room, he looked at his partner, sound asleep on the sofa. Knowing she deserved the comfort of her own bed her first night back at home, there was no hesitation in his decision. Placing an arm behind her shoulders, and the other behind her knees, he scooped her up. She mumbled something incoherently, and cuddled against his chest.

Smiling to himself at her actions, he walked in the direction of her bedroom. Shifting her weight to one arm, and using his knee to prop her up, he moved the covers down. He lay her gently against the pillows, and pulled the blankets up around her. Then he bent low, and placed a kiss on her forehead, then turned to leave. He paused at the door, whispering a final farewell to her before heading to the guest room to retire for the night.

"Welcome home, Liv. Sweet dreams."


	7. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. I own nothing.

Elliot awoke the next morning, thinking he was about to have to get ready to go to the hospital. Wait. No. Olivia was sleeping in the room next to his, she was home at last.

Pushing the covers aside, he moved to get up from the bed. He had decided he was going to make breakfast for the two of them. Even though Olivia's appetite was still not back to normal, he hoped he could coax her to eat.

Walking into the kitchen, he dug through the fridge and cupboards for the ingredients for pancakes. He put on a pot of coffee, hoping the aroma of the fresh brew would lure her out shortly. Setting up a station on the counter by the stove, he began to prepare the meal.

He was just flipping a second stack of pancakes onto a plate when Olivia came out of her bedroom. She disappeared into the bathroom for a bit, then padded into the kitchen.

"Is that coffee I smell?" she asked, a smile on her face.

"It is. Why don't you have a seat, and I'll bring you some, along with your breakfast."

Olivia sat down as she was asked, but not without arguing slightly.

"Elliot, you didn't have to go to all this trouble, I'm not even that hungry. Not that I don't appreciate it -"

"Olivia." He admonished her gently.

"This is no trouble at all. And you need to eat. I understand why the hospital food didn't appeal to you, but please at least taste mine before you place it in the same category."

Olivia was taking a sip of her coffee as he made that comment, and had to be careful as she swallowed the drink, so as not to choke. She gave her partner a grin, and nodded her agreement. Yes, she would try and eat. As he placed a plate of pancakes in front of her, accompanied by an assortment of fresh berries, she had to admit that it did look appealing. She drizzled a small amount of syrup on her food, then lifted her fork and began to eat.

Elliot, satisfied to see that Olivia was eating, fixed his own plate. He took a seat next to her at the counter, and began to dig into his own breakfast.

The pair ate in companionable silence. As they were finishing, Elliot posed a question.

"Did you want to try and get out of the apartment today, take a walk? Or would you rather stay in and rest?"

Olivia considered what he had asked before answering. She set down her fork, and looked over at him to reply.

"I'd love to get out in the fresh air. I don't think I'm up to run a marathon yet, but a short walk through the park would be nice."

They talked for a few minutes more, and agreed they would go later that afternoon. Elliot asked Olivia if she wanted any more to eat, but she insisted that what he had given her was plenty. He was hesitant, but decided to trust her decision. It didn't mean he wouldn't be encouraging her to eat again around lunchtime, though.

Whether it was to feed his own ego, or because he wanted to tease her, he couldn't resist asking something.

"So I noticed you cleaned your plate. I take it that means you think my cooking is better than the hospital food?"

She must have caught the gleam in his eye, because she had an evil look in her own before she answered him. One that said she wasn't going to make it easy. Taking a few moments to consider her reply, she finally answered with a smirk.

"Anything would be better than what they serve in the hospital, El. Your food was acceptable."

At seeing the look on his face at her answer to his question, she couldn't help but laugh out loud. Deciding to take mercy on him, she gave him a truthful response at last.

"I'm sorry Elliot. It was so sweet of you to make breakfast for me. And it was delicious. Thank you."

He said nothing in reply, but gave her a warm smile, and reached out to squeeze her hand. He noticed she seemed uncomfortable, so he suggested she move to the sofa while he cleaned up the dishes.

Naturally, she protested, but he refused to listen to her arguments. He merely pointed to the living room with a stern look on his face. Realizing that this was one argument she wasn't going to win, and knowing she needed to choose her battles wisely, Olivia moved to comply. She sat down on the sofa with a huff, and Elliot couldn't help but chuckle to himself at her actions.

When his job in the kitchen was done, he walked into the living room to sit beside his partner. She looked as though she had something on her mind, but instead of asking her directly what it was, he opted to give her time to open up to him about it. He didn't have to wait long.

"El?"

"Yeah, Liv."

"Where you really there all day, every day I was in the hospital? What did you do all that time?"

Elliot regarded his partners question. The look on her face was curious, but also carried something else. If he was guessing correctly, he would almost say it was guilt. That she felt guilty for having taken up all his time. He didn't want that at all.

"Of course I was there, Olivia. Where else would I be?"

He gave her time to absorb his words, then continued. He admitted to her that yes, he felt guilty to a degree because of his role in her injury. She tried to stop him then, but he held up a hand to silence her. She let him continue.

"Every morning, I would come to your room and read you the newspaper. I wanted you to know what was going on in the world."

Olivia sat silently, listening as her partner continued to describe his days while she was in the coma. She was moved beyond words. The care and effort he put into his actions, talking to her and taking care of her.

"But what about your kids?" she asked. "Didn't you need to spend time with them?"

Now it was Elliot's turn to grow quiet. He didn't want to admit this part to Olivia, but knew he couldn't hide it from her. He knew she would blame herself. He laughed then, realizing how often they blamed themselves for problems in each others life. Almost as often as they would go to extreme lengths to protect one another. Still, he knew he had to say something.

"Kathy doesn't really want me around the kids right now. She thinks I'm a danger to them, because of what happened in the station with Dickie."

He watched as a whirlwind of emotions crossed Olivia's face, ranging from shock to anger. She seemed unable to say anything at first, stunned into silence. After a minute, she spoke.

"That's ridiculous! You are nothing of the sort!"

Olivia got up from her spot on the sofa and began to pace in front of the coffee table, her anger apparent.

"How can she blame you for that? Keep your children from you?"

Still fuming, she continued to pace. Elliot watched her, not having expected this reaction. Realizing it was probably not good for her recovery to get this upset, he tried to calm her, but she wasn't having it.

"Olivia, it's being handled. Come sit back down."

"No, Elliot. I won't sit. Just – How can she do this? Do you want me to talk to her?"

Elliot assured her that wasn't necessary. He couldn't bring himself to tell her the truth, that his soon to be ex-wife held Olivia to blame as well.

"It's alright, Liv...I have a call in to Kathy, I'm making plans to see Eli this weekend."

Olivia, still pacing furiously, was trying to calm down. She made a turn a bit too sharply, and pulled the incision on her rib cage. Her hand flew to her ribs, and she doubled over slightly.

"Ow."

Elliot was by her side in an instant, a worried expression on his face.

"Liv? What's the matter?"

Still wincing from the pain, she managed to give him a reassuring smile. She reached out a hand and rested it on his arm.

"Nothing, El. Just moved a bit too quickly is all."

Watching as the pain gradually left her features, he seemed convinced by her explanation. Nevertheless, he led her back to the couch to sit down again. Not wanting to argue, she moved with him.

Once they were back at the couch, they sat in silence for a few minutes. It was Elliot who chose to break the quiet. He talked openly to Olivia, and explained what was going on in his personal life. He told her of how he and Kathy had met to discuss the dissolution of their marriage, and how the papers were signed. He spoke of the custody agreement that had been drawn up, leaving nothing out.

Olivia sat quietly while he was talking, taking it all in. When she was sure he was finished, she spoke to him.

"Elliot, please don't miss out on time with your children because of me. I don't need a babysitter."

He moved to speak, but she raised a hand to his lips to silence him.

"Not that I'm not grateful for everything you've done, but I understand that you have a family to take care of, too. If that means you leaving me alone to go be with them, then so be it."

Elliot raised his eyebrows, and moved his lips under her hand, as if indicating that he wanted to speak. Embarrassed that she still had her hand on his mouth, she let it fall away.

"Can I speak now?" He asked with a grin. At her nod, he continued.

"I'm not playing favorites here, Liv. Or putting one above the other."

He took a pause, looking her in the eye to make sure she was hearing him.

"I will spend time with my family, in fact, I was going to ask your permission to bring Eli here sometime soon for a night or two."

Seeing the look on her face, and thinking she was either shocked or appalled by his request, he quickly amended it.

"Of course, if its a problem, I can always take him to a hotel or -"

"Elliot, stop."

Her words gave him pause. He stopped mid-sentence to listen to what she had to say.

"You are welcome here as long as you need to stay. That same welcome is extended to your family."

Overcome with gratitude at her generosity, he swept her up into a hug. Olivia was surprised by the action, but didn't protest it. She wrapped her arms around his torso, and let herself be held. They stayed that way for a minute or two.

Clearing his throat, Elliot released the hold he had on his partner. He mentally rebuked himself, unsure as to when he had become so physical with her, when they had never been before. The only thing that calmed his anxiety was the fact that she didn't seem to be protesting the closeness. He shelved that thought away for now, as something to figure out later.

* * *

Afternoon came, and they got ready for their walk. Olivia, remembering the difficulties she'd had the day before, put aside her pride and asked Elliot for his help in putting on her shoes. They each grabbed a light jacket, and headed out her apartment door.

When they reached the park, they kept to the main walkways. Periodically, they would sit on one of the benches, to allow Olivia time to rest. They stopped at one of the vendors for a bottle of water, which they shared as they continued their journey.

On their way back to Olivia's apartment, as they were retracing their steps, she stumbled slightly. Rather than call her out on it, which he knew she would hate, Elliot tried a different approach. He only hoped it wouldn't get his ass kicked. Reaching out toward his partner, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder as they walked.

She leaned into his embrace at first, welcoming his touch. Gradually though, she slid away. As she did so, it caused his hand to slide away from her shoulder. It fell down her arm, and his hand brushed against hers. When that happened, her fingers clutched at his.

Taking a chance, he intertwined his palm with hers, joining their hands. Glancing in her direction, he noticed she was looking back at him.

"This okay?" he asked her softly.

"Yeah". Her voice was whisper soft.

They walked on, hands intertwined, neither saying another word for the rest of the way back.

When they reached the apartment again, they both let go of each other at the same time. Neither made a move to mention the fact that they had been holding hands for a span of at least ten minutes, if not longer.

Once indoors, Olivia excused herself, saying she was going to take a short nap. Elliot thought about calling her out on it, worried that she was running away from the contact they had just shared. But looking at his partner, he could see the fatigue was apparent in her facial features and in her body language. He let her go.

She returned to the living room a little over an hour later, after taking a detour to the bathroom first. It was apparent that she had stopped to wash her face, as her hair was also pulled back into a loose ponytail. She looked refreshed, and he was glad that the nap seemed to have helped her.

"Feeling better?" he asked her.

She gave him a smile as she answered.

"Much. I didn't realize how much a short walk like that would tire me out. I'll have to work to get my strength back."

He nodded, not really wanting to remind her that being tired was to be expected, considering how long she had been in the hospital. He didn't want to provoke an argument. Instead, he chose to say something supportive.

"We'll just have to keep taking these walks then. You'll be back to your old self in no time."

He immediately regretted his choice of words when he saw the gleam in her eye. He knew he was in for it now. She raised an eyebrow and stared him down.

"And just who are you calling 'old', Stabler?"

"What I meant was, that is I was trying to say -" He stammered, trying to save face.

"Save it. I know what you meant. I just like watching you squirm."

She gave him a grin then, and he knew that everything would be alright.

"So..." He began, worried he was delving into dangerous territory.

"It's been awhile since we've eaten. We should consider some lunch."

She avoided meeting his gaze, and it was as if he could have predicted her answer before she spoke.

"You can eat something if you want to, El. Don't let me stop you. But I'm not hungry."

Taking a deep breath, and trying to call on his stores of patience so he wouldn't get upset with her, he tried again.

"Liv, I'm not talking about a four-course meal, here. You need to eat something. I ordered some sandwich fixings from the grocery store."

He paused, letting that bit of information sink in. Then he added,

"Or, I could heat up some soup for you."

Olivia took a good look at her partner. She really wasn't trying to be difficult on purpose. Perhaps during her coma, her stomach had shrunk or something, but she just wasn't that hungry. She had to admit that he was right, though. She did need to eat to regain her strength. As much as it pained her to concede that her partner was right in this, she thought.

"All right. But nothing too heavy. Maybe half a sandwich, and a small bowl of soup"

Elliot nodded his head in agreement.

"I can arrange that. What kind of sandwich would you like? Turkey, Chicken, or Roast Beef?"

"Hmm. Turkey please. Light mustard."

"How does potato soup sound?"

"Perfect. Do you need any help?"

Elliot smiled to himself at her request. It wasn't going to be an easy task getting her to relax and let him take care of her.

"No Liv. I've got this. Maybe later you can help me with dinner."

Olivia accepted this, and got more comfortable on the sofa. She reached for the remote, and started flipping through the channels.

Elliot joined her about twenty minutes later, carrying two plates. He set them down on the coffee table, then left the room again to go and grab them drinks and napkins.

Despite her claims of not being hungry, Olivia ate heartily. The soup was warm and comforting, and the flavors of the food were hitting all of her taste buds.

Determined not to watch her eat, Elliot focused on his own lunch. Before long, they had both finished, and there was nothing but empty plates and bowls in front of them. He cleared the dishes and returned to sit with her.

They spent the rest of the day together watching television. Or, trying to. Both of them found daytime TV boring, and they made an agreement among themselves. Since she would be somewhat home bound for a bit while she recovered, save for her daily walks, they would try and find movies to watch. They logged into the streaming service that Olivia subscribed to, but rarely used. Together they each picked a handful of titles that piqued their mutual interest.

"I'm going to go insane while I'm trying to recover." Olivia said.

"No, you're not. I won't let you." Elliot assured her.

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders as a show of encouragement. Though she leaned into his touch, this gave Olivia pause. Despite her hesitations, she voiced her concerns.

"Elliot. What is going on here?"

"What do you mean, Liv?"

Olivia hesitated, unsure as to how to phrase what she was feeling. Taking a deep breath, she pressed on.

"Does it feel like things are...changing between us? We've never been this open or physical with one another before."

"Do you want me to stop, am I making you uncomfortable?"

Olivia didn't need to consider her reply to that question. It was immediate.

"No."

She paused for a moment, then added on as an afterthought.

"Things just feel different."

Elliot, though he didn't want to push her, couldn't resist questioning that statement.

"Good different, or bad different?"

She turned to face him then, and gave him a smile. Then tucked her head against his shoulder.

"Just different. But I think I could get used to this."

They sat in silence then, both of them absorbing her words.

It was Elliot who broke the quiet spell, and once again he surprised himself. He was going with total openness and honesty. He went on to tell her how he thinks it started. That, when visiting her in the hospital during her coma, he would often hold her hand. How, when greeting her in the mornings, or bidding her good-night, he would place a kiss upon her brow. That those moments when he could connect with her brought him comfort during a time when he had no other way of interacting with her.

When he finished with his story, both of them were fighting their emotions. Elliot because of the memories it had evoked, and Olivia because she realized just what he had gone through while she had been in her coma. For several precious minutes, neither of them spoke. When Olivia did speak, her voice was wavering.

"Elliot. What you went through those two weeks, I'm sorry. No one should have to go through that."

He raised a hand, as if to dismiss her concern.

"No El. It must have been pure hell for you. You put me first through all of it. You still are."

She licked her lips, then continued.

"Even though I'm still healing, I can help now. Let me take care of you, too."

The look that crossed his face was indescribable. Her compassion was beyond words. How to convey to her that she already had done so much for him?

"Olivia, you've given me a place to stay. And most important of all, you risked your own life to ensure the safety of my son. If that's not taking care of me, I don't know what is."

Taking a deep breath, Olivia pushed herself back a little, but still remained within the circle of Elliot's arms. Looking up at him, she exhaled.

"Can we table the deep conversation for now? I'll talk to you about anything, anytime, but this is getting to be too much for me to handle."

"Of course, Liv. I'm sorry. Can I still hold you? Just like this?"

She nodded her consent, and snuggled further into his embrace. He rested his chin gently atop her head. The two sat in silence, not speaking. The talk they had shared had taken an emotional toll on them both.

As time passed, they both dozed slightly. Olivia, with her head resting against Elliot's shoulder, and he with his head against hers. As they drifted into a deeper slumber, they clung tighter to one another, almost as if on instinct.

* * *

It was Elliot who woke, almost forty-five minutes later. He was disoriented at first, and surprised to find that Olivia's limbs were tangled with his.

Disentangling himself from his partner, he gently laid her down on the sofa. He grabbed the blanket that was resting across the back, and covered her with it. Once he had ensured she was comfortable, he moved to the kitchen to start on dinner.

Several minutes later, he had the ingredients in the works for a pan of lasagne. The noodles were boiling, and he was heating up some sauce in a pan. He knew encouraging Olivia to eat (again) would be a struggle, but he hoped that the aromas of the meal could entice her.

Once the noodles were boiled, he quickly assembled the dish, and had the pan in the oven soon after. Once it was baking, he got the necessary items out of the refrigerator so he could make a salad to accompany their meal. Along with that, he got butter. He planned to add some herbs and chopped garlic to it, then spread it on a loaf of fresh bread he had ordered from the store yesterday.

Nearly an hour later, dinner was almost done. He moved the bread under the broiler to toast, and went into the living room to wake his sleeping partner.

He stopped by her side, and laid a hand on her shoulder, shaking her gently. Her eyes fluttered open, and she looked up at him, dazed.

"I fell asleep again?"

"We both did. I woke up before you, let you rest a little while longer while I made dinner."

She opened her mouth, most likely to protest the idea of food, but must have thought better of it. Instead she gave him a smile as she sat up and stretched gingerly.

"Thanks El. Whatever you made, it smells delicious."

She stood, but instead of walking toward the kitchen, as he had expected, she headed in the opposite direction. She called over her shoulder as she left the room.

"I'm just going to splash some water on my face, freshen up a little. Be right back."

"Okay, Liv. Do you want to eat at the table, or in the living room?"

He could hear her voice calling to him from the other room, over the sound of rushing water.

"Table. It will feel good to sit and eat at one like a human being."

Elliot nodded, then realized that Olivia couldn't see him. He moved to the kitchen to grab some plates and silverware to set the table. He then grabbed some drinks for them, choosing to go with bottled water for them both. Even though Olivia had insisted the previous night that she didn't mind if he drank, he didn't want to indulge in alcohol if she couldn't have any.

He was still waiting for Olivia to come out of the bathroom, when he heard the sound of his phone ringing from the other room. He hurried in to answer it. It was his son, Dickie. He was calling to see if it would be alright to come and visit Olivia the following day.

As he was talking to his son, Olivia emerged, and seeing Elliot on the phone, raised her eyebrows in an unspoken question. He interrupted his call to explain to her what was going on, and ask if she minded having a visitor the next day. When she learned who that visitor would be, she broke into a grin, and eagerly accepted. They agreed on an afternoon visit. This allowed Elliot and Olivia to go for another walk in late morning, and for Olivia to take another brief nap should she need one after. The trio also agreed that they would all have a late lunch together the following day.

Once Elliot was done with his call, Olivia took her place at the table. She had considered offering to help Elliot with dinner, but knew better by now. He wasn't going to let her lift a finger. Maybe, if she played her cards right, she could get ahead of the game and clear the dishes afterward.

She watched, in awe, as the food came to the table. First, he brought out a basket of warm garlic bread, and a bowl full of salad. Then, handling the dish carefully with oven mitts, he carried over a pan of piping hot lasagne. She gave him an incredulous look.

"Elliot. You made all this? For me?"

He corrected her softly.

"For us. I thought we deserved a dinner that didn't come in Styrofoam packaging or a cardboard box."

Looking over the table, he added.

"I realize that wine would be a better accompaniment than water, but hopefully sometime soon."

She shook her head in reply, wanting to reassure him.

"This is more than fine, El. Thank you."

He sat down next to her, and began serving up portions. This time, instead of a quiet meal between the two, they talked animatedly. They shared memories of some of their crazier cases of the past twelve years together. Times when some of the not-so-bright criminals thought they could get past the detectives of the sixteenth precinct.

What they did not talk about, much less even mention, was the heavy subject matter from earlier that day. It seemed a mutual agreement between them that they would not speak about it further for now. They had both acknowledged that things were changing, but neither seemed ready to address those changes just yet.

After they were finished eating, Olivia stood, making a move to grab their plates and carry them into the kitchen. Elliot intercepted her, placing a hand on her arm.

"Nice try, Liv, but no."

She glanced over at him, attempting to look innocent. As if she had no clue what he was referring to.

"Put the plates down. Maybe tomorrow, I'll let you help clean up. Today, its all me."

With a frustrated sigh, she placed the plates back on the table. He scooped them up, and carried them into the kitchen, placing them in the sink. He returned to grab the leftovers, taking that into the other room as well. He would allow them to cool to room temperature before putting them away. There was still plenty left over that they could have it for dinner tomorrow night, too.

Going back to the table, he found Olivia still sitting there. She was playing with a napkin between her fingers. A look he couldn't decipher on her face. Taking a guess as to what the problem might be, he tried to address the issue.

"Liv, I know you think I'm being way too overprotective of you by not letting you do anything on your own. But you only got out of the hospital yesterday."

Her eyes raised to meet his, and he knew he was right on target. Seeing that he had her attention, he continued.

"I promise, I will try my hardest not to crowd you, or deny you your independence. But please, for a little while longer at least, let me take care of you?"

She was quiet as she considered his words. Thinking back to this morning and how quickly she tired after just a simple walk. That and the fact she had needed not just one, but two naps today. She didn't speak, but gave him a nod of agreement.

She moved to get up from the chair, feeling a twinge of pain as she did so. She hoped it would go unnoticed by Elliot. Glancing over at him, he wasn't looking in her direction. Relieved, she started walking toward the living room.

Elliot however, had noticed the flash of pain that flickered across Olivia's face when she rose from her seat. To spare her pride, though, he pretended that he hadn't seen. Instead, he called out to her as she got settled on the sofa.

"I'll be in to watch something with you in a minute, I'm just going to put away these leftovers. Did you need anything? More to drink, or some popcorn maybe?"

"No thanks El. I brought my water with me, and I couldn't eat another bite if I tried."

He made short work of cleaning up the kitchen. The food was stored in the fridge, and he grabbed an extra bottle of water for himself as he headed back in to watch some television with Olivia.

As he settled down on the couch next to her, she handed him the remote. She propped her feet on the coffee table, and made herself comfortable.

Elliot copied her actions, as they flipped through their movie selections trying to decide on what to watch. He was about to ask her what she would choose when she spoke up.

"You can pick tonight. After all, it was my choice last night, and I didn't even make it through the whole movie. I hope I don't fall asleep on you again tonight."

Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, he turned his head to place an affectionate kiss along her temple. He came across a title he knew would appeal to them both, and pressed 'play'. As he did so, he couldn't resist saying to her,

"That's a risk I'm willing to take."

Her only answer was a smile.

* * *

Olivia had just awakened after a short nap following their late morning walk. She decided she wanted to take a brief shower before Dickie arrived. She assured Elliot that she would leave the door unlocked again, much to his relief.

Unlike her first time showering upon returning home, this one wasn't as long. Afterward, she dressed again in a pair of comfy pants and a tee, with one of Elliot's sweatshirts to keep her warm. She missed her favorite jeans, and hoped her incisions would heal soon, so she could wear something that had a defined waistband again.

She had just emerged from the bathroom after drying her hair, when there was a knock at the door. Guessing Elliot was in the guest room, she moved to answer it. Being sure to check the peephole first, she got the shock of her life.

She flung the door open, to find not only Elliot's oldest son there, but all of his children, including little Eli. Olivia was immediately engulfed in a group hug by the lot of them, and she felt overwhelmed by the feelings that it caused within her.

Elliot, hearing the commotion, came out of the other room. He stood in shock for a moment, then moved into action. He hugged each of his kids in turn, and even paused to toss Eli up into the air, making the toddler giggle uncontrollably.

"What are you all doing here?" He exclaimed.

"Not that I'm not glad to see you, but your mother, how is she okay with all of this?"

"Mom knows where we are, dad. And she's fine – well not fine, but she's okay with the fact that we brought Eli."

Maureen explained to her father and Olivia why they were all present.

It was Kathleen who spoke up next, concern in her voice.

"I hope you don't mind we all just showed up like this, Olivia."

Olivia wrapped her arm around the young woman's shoulder, smiling at her warmly.

"Not at all. It's so great to see you all. Like I've told your dad, you are always welcome here."

She led the group further into her apartment, and they all found seats. Elliot set Eli down, and he toddled over to Olivia, arms outstretched. She looked up at her partner with a pained expression on her face. She seemed almost heartbroken.

"El, I can't lift him."

"It's ok Liv, I've got it"

This time it was Liz who spoke, as she picked up the young boy, placing him in Olivia's lap. He immediately wrapped his arms around the woman, and cuddled close to her.

While Olivia was snuggling with his son, Elliot focused his attention on his older children. He talked with them about what had been going on in their lives since he had seen them last. Devoting time to each of them individually.

Over the course of the conversation, the topic gradually switched over to Olivia and her recovery. Elliot let Olivia field those questions, not quite knowing what all she would be comfortable with revealing.

After they had been talking for close to an hour, Eli began to grow a little fussy. His brother pulled out a stuffed toy out of a bag they had brought along for him.

It was also decided that everyone (with the exception of Olivia) was getting hungry. Rather than make lunch for a large crowd, Elliot offered to treat everyone. They grabbed one of the many take-out menus that Olivia kept in her apartment, and all agreed that the deli on the corner sounded great. A phone call was made, orders were placed, and it was scheduled to arrive within the half hour.

Once the food arrived, Maureen and Kathleen carried the bags to the table. Liz and Dickie, per Olivia's instructions, raided the fridge to find drinks for everyone. Elliot lifted Eli out of his partner's lap, much to the toddler's dismay. He then reached out a hand to help his partner stand.

The Stabler children watched the interactions between the two partners. They said nothing, but shared glances with one another.

They observed as Elliot led Olivia over to the table, and placed Eli back in her lap after she sat down. The young boy waved his hands happily when he saw who was holding him once again.

They all began to eat, Olivia taking breaks from her lunch to feed the boy on her lap bites of the macaroni and cheese that had been ordered for him.

Light conversation continued during the meal, and they shared a lot of laughs, too. Finally, about halfway through, it was Kathleen who piped up with a question that made both Elliot and Olivia nearly choke on their food.

"So, what's going on between the two of you? Are you sharing the bedroom yet?"

Her words were immediately admonished by her brother, and his face was red.

"Katie, hush. I told you not to say anything! I'm sorry Dad, Liv."

Elliot recovered first, taking a drink of water to swallow the food that seemed stuck in his throat. He hazarded a glance at Olivia, but she wouldn't meet his gaze. She was too preoccupied with the boy who sat in her lap, feeding him another bite of his lunch.

Realizing he was on his own, he cleared his throat and tried to explain.

"Kids, you all know that your mother and I have filed for divorce. It's no fault of yours, and we still love you very much -"

Maureen interrupted his speech with a comment of her own.

"Dad, we know all that. I think what Katie was trying to say, in her own way, was that it seems things have changed between you and Olivia."

"Yeah Dad" Now it was Liz who spoke up.

"It's not bad or anything – you just seem, I don't know, closer."

She then added on, as though she couldn't resist.

"It was Dickie who noticed it first"

At this, all eyes at the table turned to face the teen in question. He started to blush under their scrutiny. Bunching the napkin in his hand up, he placed it next to his empty plate. Glancing around the table from face to face, he decided he should explain himself.

"I didn't say anything bad, Dad, I swear! I just mentioned to them that ever since Liv was sick, you were more affectionate with her than I'd ever seen you."

"I told you what that was, Dickie." his father scolded him softly.

Olivia, who had been quiet during the entire exchange, chose to speak up then.

"Your father and I are best friends. He's been taking care of me. That's all."

The tone of her voice indicated that the topic of conversation was now closed. An awkward silence followed. Elliot didn't want to lie to his kids, but he also knew that Olivia was speaking the truth. They hadn't discussed taking their relationship further yet. They had only briefly had a conversation about its evolving nature. That alone had been nearly too difficult for them too handle. It was definitely too premature to mention anything to his kids. He ultimately realized his partner was right.

"Olivia is right. Did this situation bring us closer, yes. I think that's only natural. But there is nothing else going on."

That seemed to end the conversation, and there were murmured apologies around the table from each of Elliot's children. Olivia reassured them that no offense was taken, and the light hearted atmosphere soon returned.

After they had finished their lunch, Elliot carried Eli in to the guest room for a nap, as the boy was dozing in Olivia's arms. When he came back out to the main room, he found Olivia sitting on the sofa, surrounded by his children. Seeing as there was no room left for him, he opted to sit on the nearby chair.

The group all decided that while the youngest of them napped, they would all watch a movie together. They found one on Olivia's list that Elliot's children all recommended, and surprisingly all agreed upon.

While the kids were choosing the movie, Elliot went into the kitchen, and popped some bags of popcorn. Maureen came out to help him with that, and with refilling everyone's drinks. While they were alone in the kitchen together, they talked.

"I'm sorry about earlier while we were eating, Dad. You know Katie. She always just speaks without thinking first."

"It's alright. Don't worry about it. Yes, we were surprised, but like Liv said, we weren't offended."

"Well Dad, I think what Katie meant to say – and did a poor job of doing it – is that if you were to take things further with Olivia, none of us would object."

Elliot, for the second time that day, was stunned into silence by one of his children. Yet again, it involved their opinion around him and Olivia. Not sure of what else to say, he settled for keeping it a simple truth.

"Thank you, honey. But right now, my main focus is on helping Olivia heal."

Maureen, sensing her father was uncomfortable with the conversation, dropped the subject. She was satisfied though, that she got her point across. Ever since her brother had told her and his other sisters of their father's actions with Olivia at the hospital, they all had become convinced that his feelings for her were changing. Maybe he just wasn't ready to admit it to himself yet.

With her father's aid, Maureen found a tray in one of Olivia's cupboards. She placed drinks on it, and used that to carry it in to the other room, while Elliot grabbed the two bowls of popcorn he had made. They rejoined the group, and passed everything out. Everyone readjusted their seating situations so that the only available seat for Elliot was next to Olivia on the sofa. Not thinking anything of it, he took it.

Knowing his partner's tendency to get cold while they watched movies together, he made sure to grab the blanket first, draping it over her shoulders. She gave him a smile of thanks, and leaned against him.

The children had all observed the gesture between the two, and shared a look among themselves, but said nothing. Then, the 'play' button was pressed, and everyone was engrossed in the movie on the television screen. For the next hour and half, laughter was the only thing that could be heard as the group enjoyed a comedy together.

As the movie credits rolled to a close, the Stabler kids turned toward the sofa to see what their father thought of the movie. They saw Olivia, sound asleep, curled against their father's chest. His arm was wrapped around her shoulder. He too, was dozing lightly, his chin resting atop her head.

Kathleen took out her cell phone, snapping a quick photo of the pair.

As she did so, her sister Liz issued a warning to her.

"Don't let Mom see that."

"Are you kidding? I don't have a death wish."

She paused, then continued, as to justify her actions.

"No, this is for later on, when they finally tell us they are together. Kind of an 'I told you so' moment"

Maureen shook her head, and just as she was about to chime in with her own opinion, another voice rang out.

"I can hear you, you know. And I want that photo deleted."

All eyes were back on their father, who was now wide awake. But he didn't look mad, he had a grin on his face. Then he held up a finger, and added something, as though it had just occurred to him.

"No. Wait. Send me a copy of the picture to my phone first, then delete it."

Gentle laughter flooded the room then. It still didn't waken the sleeping detective next to him. What they did hear next was the voice of a young boy calling out for his father from the guest room.

Elliot stood from the sofa, repeating the same actions as yesterday. He lay Olivia down, gently, so as not to wake her. He then went into the room he had come to call his own, and brought out Eli, who was rubbing his eyes sleepily.

He set Eli down, and much to his dismay, the child toddled directly over to the couch, to where Olivia lay sleeping. He patted her face gently, and called to her in a loud whisper.

"Livia. Wake time"

Olivia felt something against her face, and opened her eyes to see Eli's bright blue eyes before her. Letting her eyes roam the room, she saw the rest of Elliot's children sitting around, too.

" _I really need to stop falling asleep so easily_ " she thought to herself.

She sat up, and pulled the child into her lap, ignoring the twinge in her side as she did so. Elliot gave her a stern look at her actions, but she gave him a shake of her head, indicating that he should drop it for now.

Once back in Olivia's lap, Eli began playing with her hair. They sat that way for a good twenty minutes, talking quietly to one another.

Soon though, the time came when Maureen stood. She had a look of regret on her face as she announced.

"I'm sorry Dad, but I think its time we get going. I promised mom we'd have Eli home in time for dinner."

Elliot looked sad to hear this, but resigned himself to the fact. He knew they couldn't stay forever. Plus, he had a weekend coming up soon with Eli to look forward to. In seeing his interactions with Olivia today, he had no problems now bringing the young boy here to spend some time.

He let the young boy hug Olivia good-bye, then picked him up off her lap, allowing her to stand. His kids then took turns hugging Elliot and Olivia, saying their farewells. He thanked them for the visit, and they promised they would try and see him again soon.

He watched them until they were all on the elevator, then came back inside and shut the door. In a moment of impulse, he wrapped his arms around Olivia. She was startled at first, but returned the embrace nonetheless.

"Thank you." He said, his voice full of emotion.

"Thank you for giving me a day with my family."

Olivia understood now the reason for his emotion, and held him tighter. She placed a hand on the back of his head in a soothing gesture.

"Elliot, I meant it when I said they are always welcome. I know how much they mean to you."

He held her for a moment longer, then released his hold on her. Unsure of how to phrase the next part of what he had to say, he stumbled slightly over his words.

"Olivia, about what my kids said at lunch – I'm sorry if they made you feel uncomfortable..."

She raised a hand to silence him mid-sentence, cutting him off.

"El, don't worry about it. Honestly."

She gave him a genuine smile that told him she was speaking the truth, and he felt all his concern roll off his shoulders.

"It was good to see them. I can't believe how big Eli is getting."

"Yes, I know. Speaking of that Olivia, what were you thinking, lifting him by yourself? What if you'd gotten hurt?"

Olivia bristled at his words initially, then ultimately realized he was right. It had been reckless of her. One of the items listed on her discharge instructions from the hospital had been to not lift anything weighing more than ten pounds. Eli definitely weighed more than that.

"I'm sorry El. You're right. I just wanted to hold him."

"It's alright Liv. I don't think you did any damage, seeing as how you were sitting when you did it. You just kind of slid him up into your lap."

He took a breath, then added as an afterthought.

"Next time though, ask for help, okay? Or ask Eli to climb up next to you. He loves to do that."

She nodded in response to his request. Keeping his arm around her shoulders, he led her back to the sofa where they sat down together once again.

* * *

Gradually, the two of them fell into a routine of sorts. They would wake in the morning, typically Elliot before Olivia, and have breakfast together. In the late mornings, they would go on walks together in the park. When they would get back to the apartment, Olivia would retreat to her bedroom for a brief nap. Then they would relax on the sofa and watch movies.

Other things were changing too. Ever since that day earlier in the week when she had stumbled, resulting in their hands intertwined, that was how they always walked. It wasn't a conscious decision, but something that seemed to just happen naturally.

This morning's walk had a different energy about it. After they got back, while Olivia took her nap, Elliot would be headed to Queens to pick up his youngest son Eli, to come and spend the weekend with them.

As they were walking, they noticed ominous clouds above them. Casting a glance at one another, they made a mutual decision to cut their walk short. They started heading back toward Olivia's sooner than they normally would.

Unfortunately, they weren't soon enough in their decision. With about two blocks to go to their destination, the sky opened up, and a downpour fell upon them. They hastened their steps to a run, but nonetheless, by the time they reached Olivia's front steps, they were both drenched.

Elliot grabbed them both towels, as they stood in Olivia's living room drying off. He offered her the shower first, to warm up and get a change of clothes. She shook her head, insisting he go before her. Her reasoning was he needed to get to his son, and she could always take her turn after he had left.

Though hesitant about it, he did see her point, and he knew he would be quick. Elliot grabbed a change of clothes from the guest room, trying not to track water all over the place. He showered quickly, taking care to save some hot water for Olivia.

Once done, he towel dried and dressed in a hurry. He didn't want his partner to be waiting damp and chilled any longer than she had to.

He left the bathroom, and found Olivia standing huddled in the living room, a change of clothes in propped on the sofa behind her. She still had a towel wrapped around her.

"Shower's all yours Liv. I'm going to wait until you're done before I head out."

"El, you know that's not necessary."

"I know, but this way I can stop in the laundry room on my way out and throw our things in before I leave."

Olivia shook her head, not completely buying his excuse. She knew he just didn't want to leave her alone in the shower. But she opted not to call him on it. She just headed for the bathroom, already thinking about how wonderful the hot water was going to feel.

She kept her shower brief, even though she could have stood under the pleasing cascade for a long time. She took a few extra minutes to blow dry her hair, trying to evade the chill that still resided within her body. When she emerged from the bathroom, she handed off her wet clothes to Elliot.

"Ok, I'm going to head out now to go pick up Eli. Did you want me to make you a cup of tea before I leave?"

"No thanks, El. I'm just going to go and lie down."

"All right then. See you in awhile."

She gave him a wave, and made sure to lock the door behind him, knowing he would be listening for the telltale sign of her doing so.

She then padded to the bedroom for some much needed rest. She was asleep almost before her head hit the pillow.

She awoke an hour later to the sound of the keys in the lock, and walked out to the living room to greet Elliot. He had Eli in his arms, and a bag slung over each shoulder. They both greeted her with a smile when they saw her, but it was Elliot who spoke.

"Hey. Didn't think you'd be up just yet. Can you do me a favor?"

"Of course El, anything. What is it.?"

"Can you watch him for a few minutes while I run downstairs and grab his stroller out of my car? Its the only thing I couldn't manage to carry with me."

Walking around to the sofa, she sat down, and reached her hands out to accept the small boy.

"El, you don't ever need to ask me to do that. Eli and I will keep each other company while you do that, won't we Eli?"

She turned to address the toddler who had been placed in her arms, giving him a kiss on his cheek. He giggled happily and settled into her lap.

Satisfied that his son was in good hands, Elliot set the bags he was holding down in the guest room, a room he had come to think of as 'his', and went back down to his car. He returned shortly with Eli's stroller, something that would come in handy when he and Olivia went on their morning walks.

Heading back into the apartment, his heart warmed at the sight of Olivia and his son together. She had fished a book out of the bag he had left on the couch, and was reading to his son quietly. His son sat in her lap, completely captivated by her story. His small hands rested on hers as they held the book together.

Wanting to capture such a scene and ensure he remembered it forever, Elliot took out his phone. Using the camera, he snapped a couple pictures of the duo sitting on the couch. They were completely unaware of the fact they were being photographed. Scrolling through the photos he had taken, Elliot also came across the one Kathleen had sent him, of he and Olivia asleep in each others arms. Pressing a button on his phone, he ensured that one was saved to his phone's memory card. He also made sure to save the ones of Olivia and his son. He had a feeling that there were going to be even more photo opportunities this weekend.

He placed the stroller in Olivia's hall closet, and went into the guest room, where he set up the portable crib Eli would sleep in tonight. Once he was done setting things up, he went back to the living room. By the time he had arrived, Olivia had just finished reading her story to Eli.

Eli looked up, and saw his Daddy. He made a happy noise and clapped his hands. Olivia, wondering what made the boy suddenly so happy, followed his line of vision. She saw Elliot, and smiled.

"Hey. Did you get everything settled okay?"

He nodded.

"So, now what?" Olivia asked

"Well," Elliot began "We still need to eat lunch, then after lunch Eli will be due for a nap."

Olivia agreed, then offered to make lunch for them. Elliot was initially going to refuse, but then saw how eager she looked. She really wanted to do this for them. He decided he would give in and let her. After all, how strenuous could preparing lunch really be?

"Okay, Liv. You win. What are you going to make?"

"How does Eli feel about grilled cheese?"

"He loves it, there is just one little quirk he has about it."

"Squares or triangles?" Olivia asked, correctly guessing the issue had to deal with whatever shape the sandwich was served as.

"Neither. Rectangles." Elliot said, smiling. "Cut the sandwich into three strips so it makes rectangles."

At her raised eyebrows, he added further

"At least that will come in handy when he starts eating it with soup. It will be good for dipping."

Olivia laughed, agreeing with him. Then as if she had a thought, she asked him.

"Speaking of soup, did you want soup with your sandwich?"

"I don't want you to go to too much trouble"

"Elliot. I think I can handle opening a can of soup and heating it in a pan."

He raised his palms in a defensive gesture then, nodding in agreement with her statement.

"You're right. I'm sorry. Soup would be great, thank you."

Nodding, Olivia headed into the kitchen to prepare lunch for the three of them. She called out to Elliot around fifteen minutes later, letting him know that it was almost ready.

At her call, he took Eli into the bathroom so he could wash his hands. On his way back out to the kitchen, he stopped by the bedroom, grabbing the chair he had brought along that would help Eli to sit at Olivia's table. He got the boy situated, then sat down next to him.

Olivia brought over the food, putting Eli's in front of him on a paper plate. She gave Elliot his, and then went back into the kitchen to collect her own. As she was walking back toward the table, she heard Eli's squeal of delight.

The boy was clapping his hands, and a small cry had escaped him. Curious as to what it was, Olivia hoped he would repeat himself. He did.

"Cheese! Cheese, Daddy!"

"Yes, Eli. Olivia made you a grilled cheese. Now be a good boy and eat your lunch, okay?"

He watched as his son picked up one of his beloved rectangles in his fingers and brought it to his mouth, taking a tiny bite. He realized he was holding his breath for no reason, knowing that Olivia would have allowed plenty of time for the molten cheese to cool before serving it to his son. Satisfied that his son was happy and eating on his own, he turned his attention to his own food.

They ate quietly, with the exception of Eli, who babbled to them in a steady stream. After they were done, Elliot got up to clear the dishes, and brought a cloth over to wipe Eli's hands and face.

Picking the boy up, he carried him into the living room. Olivia followed. They all sat together on the sofa, and Elliot chose another book from the bag that still sat there. Before he could open it, Eli grabbed it from his hands, and extended it to Olivia.

"Read, please?"

Olivia was helpless against a request like that. Taking the book from the boy, she opened it and began the story. Eli sat in Elliot's lap, entranced by her voice as she read to him.

By the time she had reached the story's end, Eli was rubbing his eyes and growing weary in his father's arms. Giving the boy a kiss on his head, he carried him into the room where the portable crib was set up. The boy asleep before he could even lay him down. He covered his son with a light blanket, then tiptoed out of the room. He found Olivia still in the living room, waiting for him, a smile on her face.

"How long does he usually nap?" she asked.

"Anywhere from an hour and a half to two hours. Why?"

"Did you want to try and watch a movie while he slept? I can't guarantee I won't check out on you, too."

Elliot reached out to brush her hair back, taking in the look on her face. Maybe he was imagining things, but she seemed a little pale.

"Liv, if you're tired, you can lie down, too. I don't mind."

She still seemed hesitant, for some reason. Whatever it was, she wouldn't say. He decided he would suggest something. He only hoped he wasn't overstepping his boundaries.

"Tell me something, Liv. Is the streaming service you have set up on the television in the bedroom, too?"

At her nod, he decided to continue, putting his thought into motion.

"Would it be too much of an invasion of your privacy if I came in and watched TV with you in there? That way, if you were to fall asleep, you'd already be in your bed."

Olivia considered what he had said, then smiled. She thought it was so touching how respectful he was being of her space.

"It wouldn't be an invasion El. Plus, it might be a better option."

At his puzzled expression, she explained further.

"We won't have to worry about the volume being too loud and waking Eli."

He understood what she meant then. He told her to go ahead in and get comfortable. He wanted to change into comfortable clothing himself, having still been in the jeans and polo he was wearing earlier when he had gone to pick up Eli. He also told her he'd bring in a couple bottles of water for them to drink.

Olivia was cozy under the covers, propped up on a couple pillows when Elliot's figure darkened her door frame. Seeing his hesitancy, she gave him a smile.

"You can come in, El"

He entered her room, and tried to set aside the feelings of awkwardness. He placed a bottle of water on her nightstand, and carried his on with him around to the other side. He was about to go back out to the living room to grab a spare blanket so he could lie atop the covers when her voice stopped him again.

"You can get under the covers with me if you want to."

As if to prove her point, she folded the covers back, inviting him in. As if still sensing his hesitancy, she added.

"It's fine, Elliot. We're both dressed. Plus I just want you to be comfortable."

Realizing she had a point, he fluffed up the pillows at the head of the bed, and crawled under the covers. Propping himself up at the headboard, he leaned next to her.

"So what did you find for us to watch?" he asked her

"Some movie about detectives. I'm sure we'll both find it incredibly authentic." Olivia deadpanned.

They shared a laugh and settled in to watch their movie. Olivia made it a little more than three quarters through this time before dozing off. As she had fallen asleep, she had sunk down a little further until she was lying down, and had cuddled onto her side. Her hair was covering her face, and Elliot reached out with his hand to brush it out of the way. She stirred slightly, but didn't waken. He let his palm linger on her brow for a moment longer, concerned about the flush in her cheeks, but she didn't seem to feel feverish to him. Perhaps she was just overheated.

Elliot was pulled from his thoughts by the sounds of his son calling for him, so he rose from the bed to go to him. He got his son up, and changed his diaper. He took him back into the living room, and set him up on the floor with a few of his toys. He sat back to watch as the boy played quietly.

* * *

The rest of the weekend passed quickly. Olivia and Elliot had taken Eli with them on their morning walks, pushing him along in his stroller. The boy had loved going through the park. Before Elliot was ready for it, it was time for him to drive Eli back to his mothers.

Olivia kept Eli occupied while Elliot packed his things. She felt tired, and was looking forward to the nap she would take while he was driving the boy back home. She didn't mention anything to her partner, but she also had a headache as well.

Elliot made the first trip down to the car with the larger items, then a second with the bags. That way, the only thing he'd have to worry about carrying when he finally left would be Eli.

Elliot watched as Olivia hugged his son good-bye, and kissed his cheeks. She even tickled his tummy, earning a few giggles and squeals as he squirmed to get away.

"Bye-bye Livia" The boy exclaimed as he dad picked him up, waving his hand at the same time.

Elliot turned to his partner, concerned. The flush was back in her cheeks again.

"Are you sure you don't want to go with us?" he asked

"I'm sure. I think I'm going to lie down while you're away."

"Okay. I'll try not to be gone too long."

She brushed off his worry with a wave of her hand, and nudged him toward the door. After he left, she locked back up. She was going to take something for her headache, but decided against it, opting in favor of sleep.

As she walked to the bedroom, a harsh cough shook her frame. It was enough to make her dizzy for a moment, and she had to reach out and grab the wall to steady her balance.

" _Must be coming down with something after getting caught in the rain the other day_ " she thought. " _Some sleep is exactly what I need"_.

She stripped off her sweatshirt, leaving herself in just a tank top and pants, and crawled between the covers. She was asleep in seconds.

It was three hours later that Elliot returned from his trip to Queens. He hadn't planned on taking that long, but Kathy had grilled him about what had gone on with Eli that weekend. He was determined not to argue with her, though.

He was surprised to find the apartment quiet as he came in the door, thinking he would find Olivia watching TV or reading. Then he remembered how the other day, she was more comfortable watching in her room, so he went to her door and knocked softly. There was no answer, but the door was ajar, so he pushed it open to peer inside.

He saw her sleeping form on the bed, tangled in the covers. He sighed in relief. She was just sleeping. That relief was short lived when he heard the rattling, wheezing sound that echoed throughout the room. He then realized that was the sound of her breathing.

In a panic, he flew to her bedside and turned on the lamp. Her face was flushed, with a fine sheen of sweat along her brow. He placed his hand on her forehead to touch her, and drew it back in alarm when he felt how hot her skin was.

Shaking her shoulder lightly, he tried to rouse her from her sleep. There was no response. His heart was in his throat, and he knew he needed to act. Opting not to wait for an ambulance, he grabbed the blanket from the living room and wrapped her up in it. He scooped her up in his arms, trying to ignore the heat that seeped through to his body. She was burning up. The rattling sound of her breathing seemed more pronounced.

He carried her down to his car, and lay her gently in the backseat. Rushing around to the driver's side, he got in. Saying a quick prayer that this wasn't anything too serious of a setback for her, he sped off in the direction of the hospital.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. I own nothing.

Elliot pulled up to the hospital and parked in front of the emergency room entrance. Rushing around to the back of his car, he scooped Olivia up into his arms once again, and carried her through the automatic doors, calling out for help as he entered.

He was met by a pair of nurses, bringing a gurney with them. He laid his partner down on it gently, and watched as the nurses discarded the blanket he had brought, handing it back to him. He clutched it in his hands, and tried to answer their questions.

He explained that she had been discharged from the hospital the previous week, told them about her gunshot wounds, her surgery, her coma. That she'd not had any symptoms indicating any adverse reactions. As an afterthought, just as they were about to whisk her away beyond the double doors to the examination area, he called out.

"Wait! Just the other day, we were caught in the rain while out on a walk. We were both drenched as a result. Could this have anything to do with why she is sick?"

The staff assured him that it was doubtful, that getting wet from the rain wasn't likely to cause this type of reaction. They thanked him for the information, though, as they moved Olivia to where they could examine her more thoroughly.

Elliot, left standing behind in their wake, watched them go. He turned back to retrace his steps the way he came, back out to his car. Putting the blanket in the backseat, he moved the car to the parking garage, then returned to the emergency room waiting room. As he sat in one of the chairs provided, he dropped his head into his hands. She had been through so much already. He prayed this hurdle wouldn't be too much for her to overcome.

* * *

Back in the examination room, a medical team was once again hovering around Olivia in urgency, just as they had only a few weeks prior. Their main concerns were the high fever she was running, and the fact that her breathing was choppy and erratic.

They slipped an oxygen mask around her nose and mouth, sliding the strap around the back of her head. The room was temporarily cleared to allow one of the techs to take a chest X-ray, as the doctor suspected pneumonia was the cause for her symptoms.

Once an IV line was started, and a bag was hung, medication was given to her in order to help bring down the fever. Cool compresses were applied to offer the woman comfort.

The X-ray was soon developed and placed on the board for the doctor to examine. He was surprised to find that it wasn't as bad as he had suspected. No excessive fluids were present in the lungs. Only some slight cloudiness was shown. He'd have to wait and see what the blood work showed before making a ruling on his diagnosis.

In the meantime, he ordered that a breathing treatment be given to help his patient out. The traditional oxygen mask was swapped out with a nebulizer, and drops of medication were added to the reservoir. The machine was turned on, and soon a fine mist of vapors were seeping out of the mask that covered the detective's face.

Almost immediately after the treatment began, there was a noticeable difference in her breathing. It wasn't as labored as it once was when she first arrived.

A nurse entered the room, carrying a paper that had the readout from the patient's lab work. The doctor scanned it quickly. None of the results were surprising, given her symptoms. Her white cell count was elevated, confirming that an infection of some sort was present.

The doctor was just relieved that the X-rays had shown that both lungs were still intact. Having briefed himself on his patient's recent medical history, he knew she was recovering from a collapsed lung, among other injuries.

Now that the most obvious causes had been ruled out, they began a more extensive physical examination. They removed the woman's clothing, and placed it in a plastic bag. They took a close look at her recent incisions, and were satisfied to see that there was no sign of infection among them. No redness or swelling, they weren't warm to the touch.

Once the exam was complete, the breathing treatment had finished. They removed the nebulizer, and replaced it yet again with the direct flow from the oxygen mask.

The doctor instructed his team to begin the process to admit his patient. He ordered for a course of antibiotics to be given intravenously on a continual basis for the first twenty-four hours, then to be tapered off to more regular doses thereafter.

As he was about to leave the room, there was a moan from the woman on the gurney. All eyes turned to her, and the doctor stepped in closer to hear what she had to say.

"Elliot."

"Detective Benson, can you hear me?"

Her eyes opened, and gradually focused on the man in front of her. Confusion was evident on her face. She nodded, then waited for him to continue.

"You're in the emergency room at Mercy General. Currently, you are very ill with some type of infection that is affecting your lungs and your ability to breathe. We've given you medication to combat the high fever, and a breathing treatment."

The doctor paused for a moment in his explanation, to allow her to absorb the seriousness of the situation. Then, he continued.

"I'm going to admit you upstairs, so I can observe you more closely."

As soon as Olivia heard the words 'admit' and 'observe', she began to struggle. Her hand flew to her face in an attempt to remove the mask that was covering her nose and mouth, and she struggled to get into a sitting position. Several outstretched arms held her in place.

"Detective, you need to calm down"

His words had no effect on the woman in the bed, she just grew more and more agitated. She called out again.

"Elliot!"

Unable to calm his patient, and unwilling to sedate her given her condition, the doctor turned to one of the nurses in the room.

"Go and see if the person she is asking for is in the waiting room. Maybe he can help calm her."

The nurse hurried out of the room, in hopes that this plan would work.

* * *

Meanwhile, while Olivia was being checked out by the doctors, Elliot was in the waiting room going out of his mind. He couldn't stop thinking of the times this past weekend when he had caught her looking extra tired, or when he thought he had seen a flush in her cheeks. If only he had done something then, maybe she wouldn't be this sick.

He was still lost in a world where he was blaming himself for her current condition when he was approached by a nurse.

"Are you Elliot? Detective Benson is asking for you."

He hurried to follow after her, nearly tripping over his own feet in the process.

"How is she?" he asked, anxious to find out word on her condition.

"The doctor can explain that to you. But when he told the Detective that she would need to be admitted for further observation, she became increasingly agitated. Nothing would calm her."

Despite hearing this news, Elliot couldn't help but break into a slight smile. " _She really does hate hospitals_ " , he thought to himself. Not that he could blame her. She had only recently been discharged after a lengthy stay, it was no wonder she didn't want to be readmitted.

He stepped into the examination room, and was startled to find that the struggling woman on the bed was his partner. She had an oxygen mask covering her face, despite her attempts to remove it, and her face was still flushed with fever.

When her eyes sought him out, she cried out to him desperately.

"Elliot! Elliot, please. Please take me home!"

Her arms reached out to him beseechingly. He had never heard his partner in such an anxious state. Reaching for her hands, he took them into his own, and spoke to her soothingly.

"Olivia. I'm sorry, honey, but I can't do that. You need to stay. You're sick, and the doctors need to figure out what is causing it so they can make you better."

He released one of her hands, so he could stroke her hair. She leaned into his touch. He found that the heat coming off her wasn't as hot as it initially was when he had first brought her in, but could tell that her fever was still quite high. That was also apparent with the glaze over her eyes. He focused his attention on her once more when he heard her speaking again.

"I don't want to stay here. I don't want to be alone."

Her words were a plaintive plea, and they broke his heart. The Olivia he knew would never admit so openly to being afraid. Whatever was causing her illness must be doing a real number on her. Looking her in the eye, he spoke reassuringly to her.

"I'm not going anywhere Olivia. Not yet. I'll stay here as long as they'll let me. Just please, cooperate and let them help you."

She was quiet as she considered his words. Then she relaxed in his hold as she nodded. With Elliot's assistance, she laid back again on the gurney. One of the nurses readjusted the oxygen mask so that it was better situated. They gave her a new cool compress for her forehead to soothe her. Elliot made a move to step away to allow them room to work, but Olivia held fast to his hand, so he stayed close by.

A new nurse came in then, and said that a room was ready upstairs for Detective Benson. They were moving her to one of the hospital's observation units, to keep an eye on her. Additional chest X-rays would be done in the morning, to make sure that the early stages of pneumonia they were witnessing hadn't progressed.

Elliot spoke to Olivia briefly, telling her that he had to let go of her hand, for only a few minutes. He assured her that he would be nearby, though. She protested at first, but gradually accepted that this was necessary. A nurse handed off to Elliot the bag containing Olivia's personal items, and he took hold of it.

Once they had all made their way up to the floor where Olivia would be staying, Elliot was told he would have to wait in the hallway or the visitor's lounge while they got her settled in the room. He made no move to comply with those instructions until he was allowed to explain his impending absence to his partner. Once he was certain that she understood that he was only temporarily going to be out of sight, and wasn't going to be further agitated by it, did he leave.

* * *

It was roughly forty-five minutes later when someone came to get him, telling him that Olivia was now settled in her room. They gave him her room number, and he hurried to find it.

He entered the room to discover her in the bed, receiving another breathing treatment. Her eyes were closed, and thanks to the combination of medications that had been added to the nebulizer, she was able to take deep, even, breaths. Glancing up at the stand where her IV was situated, he saw what he recognized as a bag of antibiotics.

Placing the bag he was holding in a chair, he took one of the others, and moved it closer to the bed. He was glad that Olivia had been given a private room yet again. He had no desire to make small talk with other people. Taking her hand in his, he tried to shake off the feelings that consumed him.

Memories were crashing in from all sides. Memories from a time only a little over a week ago, when they were back in this same hospital. This was different, he reminded himself. Olivia was _not_ in a coma. She was _not_ battling life threatening injuries. Yes, she had an infection, but it had been caught early, and was already being treated.

Still, the guilt consumed him. He blamed himself for being so selfish. For not insisting that Olivia be the first to shower the day they had gotten caught in the rain. Though his time in the bathroom had made her wait five, maybe ten minutes at most, that was still extra time she had been wet and cold. All for him. All so he could get to his son a few minutes sooner.

He was still berating himself when he heard a soft gurgling sound. Concerned, he looked toward his partner in alarm. His relief was immediate when he realized that there was nothing to be worried about, the sound was just coming from the nebulizer. The medication and water had run out, there were no more vapors to expel.

As if on cue, a nurse entered the room, and stepped close to the bed on the other side. She expertly disconnected the apparatus from his sleeping partner, and replaced it with an oxygen mask. Curious as to why they were still using the mask, Elliot questioned it aloud.

"Is there a reason why she has to have the mask? Why not just use the tubes?"

The nurse smiled, understanding immediately the man's concern.

"Detective Benson's oxygen saturation levels are still low. The mask allows for us to distribute a higher concentration of oxygen to her directly. Once the levels rise, we will transfer her to a nasal cannula."

Elliot figured he must have still looked confused, for the nurse added to her explanation.

"The breathing treatments are an additional way to administer medication. We are also providing intravenous antibiotics. Her chest X-ray was only mildly cloudy, so we have the hopes that we can combat this pneumonia before it fully develops."

She reached over and patted their joined hands, adding.

"You did a good thing, bringing her in when you did. She should recover quickly."

With that, she withdrew her hand, asked if Elliot needed anything. His initial reaction was to say 'no', but as an afterthought, he asked for some cool compresses, to soothe his partners fevered brow. The nurse nodded her agreement, then moved to get the necessary items.

She returned soon after, with some fresh clean cloths, along with a pitcher of water. She stated that should Olivia wake, it was fine for her to have something to drink. She also let Elliot know there was a kitchen down the hall should he want a cup of coffee, or should Olivia want some ice chips to suck on later. Elliot thanked her for her kindness.

Once the nurse had left the room, Elliot took hold of one of the cloths she had brought, and brought it into the bathroom. Running it under the cool water, he wet it thoroughly and wrung it out. Carrying it back out to where Olivia lay sleeping, he laid it gently on her forehead. Over the course of the next hour, he repeated the process, cooling the cloth down periodically as her fevered skin would warm it.

After a while, the thought occurred to him that he should probably notify others that Olivia was back in the hospital. He took out his phone, and called the Captain. Though he tried to keep the conversation brief, he had to go into some detail. Their boss was obviously concerned. He agreed that he would pass on the details of this newest complication to Fin and Munch, and that they would check in again with Elliot tomorrow.

Next, Elliot called Dickie. While he knew that all of his children would be concerned about Olivia's most recent setback, Dickie and Olivia had formed a bond since that day in the precinct, and he felt that he had a right to know first.

"Hey Dad, what's up? How's Olivia doing?"

He heard the excitement in his son's voice, and felt bad that this call was to break bad news.

"Olivia is actually why I'm calling, Dickie. I'm at the hospital with her now. I had to bring her back in today, after I got back from taking Eli home."

His son's shock was apparent, as was his concern. Elliot went on to explain that he had come home to find Olivia still napping. Normally, he wouldn't have thought anything of it, but when he looked in on her, had caught that her breathing seemed a little funny. He then went on to say that when he went in to check on her further, learned that she was burning up with fever.

He filled his son in on the trip to the hospital, and what had been done so far to ensure Olivia's treatment and comfort. Dickie, while extremely worried about his father's partner, was relieved to learn that she had been admitted primarily for observation purposes. That while she did seem to have an infection, measures were already being taken to ensure it would be under control.

He expressed interest in wanting to visit, but Elliot discouraged him. His only reasoning was that he thought it would be better to wait until Olivia was back home again. Not knowing what her immune system was like, he wanted to limit the number of people who came to visit. He had said something similar to the Captain when he talked to him earlier.

Dickie, though disappointed by this news, understood. He told his father to pass along a message of well wishes to Olivia for him, and that he would call tomorrow to check on her. He also said that he would pass word along to his sisters of her condition.

The two talked for a few minutes longer, then ended the call. Elliot placed his phone back in his pocket. He looked up when a nurse came into the room. He was surprised to find her dressed in a sterile gown, with a mask covering her face.

"Additional labs have come back on Detective Benson. They confirm that an infection is present. Until we determine the source, we ask that all visitors wear protective gear to prevent any further spread of germs to her."

As she spoke, she passed him some items. A yellow gown, made of gauze-like material, a mask, and a pair of gloves. He slipped them on without argument. He would do anything he was asked, so long as he was allowed to remain with Olivia.

Before he sat back down, he grabbed the cloth that was resting on her forehead, and took it into the bathroom to dampen it yet again. When he came back out, before laying it back on her head again, he used it to bathe her face as best he could, given the placement of the oxygen mask.

Olivia slept on, the slumber brought on by a number of things. The fever, the medications, and the fact that she was feeling so poorly. While it pained him to see her in this state, Elliot was relieved to see her sleeping and comfortable. Anything was better than to remember how agitated she was earlier. Her pleas to be taken home had nearly broken him.

Elliot reached for the remote by the bed, and flipped on the room's television, taking care to keep the volume low out of concern for his sleeping partner. He found a show that they both liked, and kept it on. He wasn't particularly interested in watching anything, but was desperate for a bit of background noise.

This wasn't like when she was in her coma. This time he didn't want to talk to her too much, for fear of waking her. He knew she needed her sleep. So he sat quietly, holding her hand. Periodically, he would wet the cloth, and soothe her forehead with it, trying to keep her comfortable.

Some more time passed, and before he knew it, the nurse was back in the room again. It was time for Olivia's next breathing treatment.

While the nurse was getting Olivia set up for her treatment, Elliot excused himself from the room. He needed to use the restroom, and wanted to grab a cup of coffee while he was up. He shed the protective gear he was wearing, and disposed of it in the trash can. Then he made his way down the hall.

* * *

After using the men's room, he made his way to the kitchen the nurse had pointed out to him earlier. He helped himself to a cup of coffee, and sipped it carefully. Like the other times he had gotten the drink while in this hospital, the beverage was horrid. What was it about police stations and hospitals that made them get the worst coffee possible, he mused. One would think that places that needed to serve the highest volumes of coffee could at least put out a decent product.

Once he had finished his drink, he made his way back to Olivia's room, stopping outside the door to put on another gown and mask. A box of each were supplied for that purpose. He also put on a fresh pair of gloves, then entered.

As he stepped closer to the bed, ready to take his seat yet again, he was surprised to find that Olivia's eyes were open and looking around the room. It was as if she was trying to take in where she was.

He took her hand in his, and placed his other hand on her forehead to reassure her. Her eyes flew to his, and the relief he saw in them was immediate.

"Liv. You're okay. Just relax."

He smoothed her hair back gently, then began to explain to her, in case she didn't remember what had happened earlier. Her eyes were full of questions. So he told her everything, about coming back from taking Eli home to find her gasping for breath and burning up with fever. About rushing her to the hospital. How they ran tests in the emergency room and determined she needed to be admitted.

"You're back in the hospital, but it shouldn't be for long. Only until they get the infection under control."

She indicated the nebulizer on her face with a gesture that had an air of frustration about it. He squeezed her hand in sympathy.

"That's only temporary, Liv. They're doing breathing treatments, to help keep your lungs clear."

He took a deep breath, then continued, knowing she wouldn't like the next part.

"Now you do have to wear an oxygen mask the rest of the time. But that's only for right now. The nurse said you could be transferred to the nasal cannula as soon as tomorrow if your numbers improve."

He could tell she wanted to speak, but silenced her with a look. He knew what she wanted to say anyway.

"I know you want to go home, Liv. Believe me, this is the last place I want to see you. I promise you, as soon as the doctors give the okay, we're out of here."

Whether it was the words he had spoken, or the fact that he had read her mind, tears pricked in the corner of her eyes. Trying to lighten the mood, he asked her if she was feeling comfortable enough, and offered to cool her down with another compress. She nodded her acceptance, and he moved to comply.

He was bathing her face when the nurse came back in to end the breathing treatment, and swap back in the oxygen mask.

Olivia held up her hand to halt the nurse's movements, stopping her from putting the oxygen mask back on.

"Can I have a drink of water, please?" Her voice was harsh and raspy.

At her request, Elliot moved to pour her a glass, and was about to hand it to her. He then noticed how much her hands were shaking, and brushed them aside. Supporting the back of her head with one hand, he helped her to drink. When she had had her fill, Olivia gave a nod of her head. She mouthed a quiet 'thank-you' to her partner, then turned back toward the nurse, ready to accept the mask once again.

The nurse went to slip the mask around her head, then paused.

"Did you need to use the bathroom before I put this back on, Detective?"

Olivia was ready to answer in the negative, then reconsidered. She nodded her head yes. The nurse set the mask to the side, then moved to temporarily disconnect the IV line. Elliot politely turned his back to afford Olivia a moment of privacy as the nurse helped her to and from the bathroom. He only turned around again once she was settled back in bed.

He wasn't sure what to do once she was comfortable, but he sat next to her anyway. He was surprised when she reached for his hand. He took it without hesitation.

"I'm sorry"

Her voice was muffled by the mask, but he heard her regardless. His heart pulled at her apology. She had nothing to be sorry for. Unfortunately, he was lost too deep in his thoughts, and didn't act quickly enough to reassure her.

"You must hate me"

This time, his response was immediate. There was no way he would allow her to think anything of the sort.

"No, Olivia. And you have nothing to be sorry for. You can't help being sick."

He continued to talk softly to her, telling her this wasn't her fault. He went so far as to cast blame on himself, recalling the day they got caught in the rain and he hadn't insisted she shower first.

"Elliot. This isn't your fault, either."

She coughed then, a rattling sound that seemed to wrack her entire body. When the spell passed, she collapsed back against the pillows, weak.

"Olivia, maybe it's best you don't talk for now. Just rest."

She glared at him for that statement, but after a moments consideration, seemed to agree. She nodded. He followed the direction of her gaze to the bedside tray, and guessing what she wanted, asked her a question.

"Do you want more water?"

At her nod, he helped her take another drink, then replace the mask.

She lay back in the bed, trying to get comfortable.

The rest of the day passed, and before either of them realized it, visiting hours had come to an end. The nurse had come in, and said that Elliot was welcome to stay until the end of Olivia's breathing treatment. Elliot worried that his partner would panic at the fact he was being told to leave, given her reaction earlier in the day. But she told him, as the nurse was swapping out the masks, that he was to go home and get some rest.

True to his word, he stayed until the end of her breathing treatment. He also watched as they gave her another shot to help manage the fever. Before he left, he bathed her face one last time, trying to offer her some comfort before she fell asleep for the night. He also brushed her hair back, and placed a kiss on her forehead, promising he would return first thing in the morning. She nodded her agreement, her eyelids already drooping closed. He then picked up the bag containing her belongings, and tiptoed out of the room.

* * *

When Elliot returned to Olivia's apartment, alone there once again, he was filled with a multitude of emotions. Relief, that he had gotten her to the hospital in time. Sadness and frustration, that she was still so relatively early into her recovery, and already facing another setback. And, the most prevalent of them all, anger. Anger at himself. He felt he should have noticed sooner that she was getting sick. The signs all seemed so apparent now. The frequent naps, the number of times this weekend he had noticed the flushing in her cheeks, even the lack of appetite should have been a clue.

Most of all, he still cursed himself for having let her get caught in the rain. It didn't matter that the doctor had all but told him that wasn't the cause of her illness. It certainly couldn't have helped matters any. From now on, he promised himself, whenever they went for a walk, regardless of the weather report, he was carrying an umbrella.

Not feeling hungry, but knowing he needed to eat, he moved to the kitchen. Pulling a few ingredients out of the refrigerator, he made himself a sandwich. It wasn't exactly a gourmet meal, or a suitable dinner, but it would serve its purpose.

After he had eaten, he went in and sat on the living room sofa. He buried his head in his hands. He could scarcely believe the situation he was in.

Here he was, alone, in Olivia's apartment. While she was in the hospital. Again.

Knowing he wanted to get to the hospital early the next morning to spend time with his partner, he gathered his things so he could take a quick shower. He then headed into the guest room to try and sleep. It hurt to admit to himself just how much he missed not cuddling up with Olivia on the sofa to watch a movie, not having her fall asleep in his arms.

He pushed those thoughts aside, reminding himself that this was only temporary, that she would be back home again soon enough. They just needed to get the infection and fevers under control. As he was pulling the covers up and getting settled in bed, he said a prayer that her hospital stay would be a brief one. Then he allowed himself to drift off into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Elliot awoke the next morning, and rushed to get to the hospital. He made his way to the floor where Olivia was. Stopping at the nurses station for an update on her condition, he was informed that her fever still hadn't broken. They had changed the type of medication they were giving her for it overnight, hoping for a better result.

On the more positive side of things, however, he learned that her oxygen saturation levels had improved drastically. That allowed them to remove the oxygen mask and replace it with the nasal cannula. They still were continuing with the breathing treatments several times a day, as well as the IV antibiotics. Additional chest X-rays were still scheduled to be taken later this morning.

Once he had gotten an update on his partner, Elliot headed toward her room. He made sure to don the gown, mask, and gloves before entering. Not sure if she was still sleeping or not, he entered the room quietly.

Olivia lay on the bed sleeping, and it was so nice to see her without the mask obstructing the majority of her face. Yes, she was still receiving oxygen, but the twin tubes going into her nostrils didn't seem anywhere near as imposing.

There was still a flush high on her cheekbones, indicating that the fever was still present. He bent low to press a kiss along her brow, and could feel the warmth of her skin against his. As he pulled back from the kiss, he noticed her eyes were open, and she was looking up at him.

"Morning, Liv." he said with a smile.

"How are you feeling?"

She gave a half-hearted shrug by way of an answer, then pressed a button to raise herself into a more upright position. She was about to say something to Elliot when a nurse breezed into the room. She greeted her patient and her visitor, and went about taking Olivia's vitals. After that was done, she asked Olivia if she needed to use the restroom.

While Olivia was using the restroom, Elliot busied himself by going down to the kitchen at the end of the hall. He got her a fresh pitcher of water, complete with extra ice. He knew instinctively that she would be thirsty after just waking up.

By the time he had returned to her room, she was settled back in bed. He was able to give her a drink while the nurse was setting up her medications. As she was preparing her for her morning breathing treatment, the nurse explained that radiology would be in later that morning to take another chest X-ray.

Olivia, already impatient with being in the hospital, asked when she would be able to go home. She was frustrated to learn that wouldn't be happening anytime in the immediate future, at least not while she was still running a fever.

As annoyed as she was by all the fuss, she had to admit that she found the breathing treatments helpful. Though it was bothersome to wear the mask for the extended periods of time, the soothing vapors it provided did aid her breathing. She also hoped that Elliot would be willing to help out with cool compresses again, like he had yesterday. Yet she was afraid to ask. She didn't want to seem too needy.

With Elliot keeping her company, the time for the current breathing treatment passed quickly. Soon the nurse was back in her room again, and removing the offending device. The cannula was placed back in her nostrils, and looped around her ears. The nurse was just gathering her things to leave when someone brought a breakfast tray into the room and set it on her bedside table.

"Oh good, your breakfast is here. Try and eat as much as you can."

The nurse said encouragingly, patting Olivia's hand as she turned to go.

Olivia cast a wary glance at Elliot as he set the table into place so she could reach it better. Together, they set about uncovering the various foods on the tray. There was a selection of scrambled eggs and toast, some fruit, a container of yogurt, a carton of juice, and a cup of coffee.

Elliot was about to say something to her, offer to go out and get her a better breakfast, when she spoke.

"I'm not really that hungry, but I guess I don't have a choice if I ever want out of here, do I?"

She then added, almost to herself.

"What I wouldn't give for a cup of tea right now"

His ears perked up when he heard that, and a smile spread across his face. Jumping up from his chair, he headed toward the door, calling over his shoulder as he left.

"Be right back, Liv."

Puzzled, she watched him go. She stared at the food in front of her, not sure where to start. Judging by the looks of them, the eggs were out of the question. She could manage the toast, yogurt, and fruit though. Digging through the items that were included on her tray, she found some butter and jelly.

She was picking through her fruit bowl when Elliot came back into the room, proudly displaying the Styrofoam cup he was carrying. He placed it in front of her with great fanfare, moving the coffee cup to the side.

Lifting it up, she sniffed its contents suspiciously. The light aroma of lemon and honey wafted up at her. Her eyes grew bright, and she looked at him with wonder.

"Honey-lemon tea? How did you manage this?" she inquired.

He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a plastic storage bag that contained several types of teabags. Holding it up for her to see, he explained.

"I filled this up before I left your apartment this morning. Had a feeling you would be wanting some hot tea, and I know how much the herbal kind soothes you when you are sick."

A soft look crossed her features, and he could tell just how much she was touched by this simple gesture of his. Rather than encourage her to talk more, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"Eat your breakfast and drink your tea, Liv. You'll need the strength to get better."

Still slightly choked up with emotion, she could only nod and follow his directive.

As he watched her eat, he became concerned when he noticed she wasn't quite eating all that was on her tray. At the risk of upsetting her, he decided to question her on it.

"Aren't you going to eat the eggs? The protein would be good for you."

She regarded him with a raised eyebrow, and with a wave of her hand, indicated the substance on her plate that was masquerading as eggs.

"These are supposed to be eggs? Would _you_ eat them?"

He raised both hands, as though surrendering. With a grin, he nodded as he conceded her argument.

"Point taken."

He did watch then, pleased as she continued to eat everything else on the tray save for the item in question. By the time they came to collect the tray, the only thing that remained was the coffee and the eggs.

After breakfast, Elliot remarked that Olivia looked tired, and was surprised when she admitted to it. He had thought she would protest. Whether it was the tea that had contributed to her drowsiness, or still the lingering fever, he wasn't sure.

There was something else on her mind though. Something was bothering her, and it wasn't just being in the hospital. Hoping he could draw it out of her, he drew his chair closer to the bed, and took her hand in his.

"Liv, what is it? Talk to me. You know you can tell me anything."

Olivia gnawed nervously on her lower lip, drawing it between her teeth. Could she ask? Would he think her weak? She was so hesitant to ask him for this favor, and yet at the same time, she remembered how much of a comfort the cool compresses were yesterday. And those were just the ones she was awake for. She suspected he had bathed her face while she slept. Taking a deep breath, she decided to go for broke, and ask her partner to help her.

"Could you...I mean if it's not too much trouble...would you help me out with some cool compresses again?"

She cast her eyes away, unable to meet his gaze as she made her request. When she felt the gentle touch of his fingers stroking her cheek, she lifted her eyes to meet his.

"Olivia." he said softly.

"Of course I will help you. You shouldn't have been so anxious to ask. I'd do anything for you, if it will make you more comfortable."

That said, he released his hold on her, and grabbing one of the cloths that still remained on her bedside tray, took it into the bathroom to wet it.

He brought it back out, and sitting next to her on the edge of the bed, began to gently wipe her face with it. Her eyes closed as the coolness of the cloth permeated her skin. She turned into his touch, savoring the comfort it provided her.

He repeated the process a few times, going into the bathroom to re-wet the cloth. He stopped only when Olivia's breathing evened out, and she had slipped into a light slumber.

* * *

Elliot and Olivia were playing a few hands of cards after lunch. He had remembered to bring the deck of cards she had been given during her last hospital stay with him when he left this morning. They were midway through Elliot's fifth losing hand when there was a knock at the door.

A doctor came in, and introduced himself to the pair. He explained that he was treating Olivia, and had reviewed the most recent chest X-ray from that morning.

He was pleased to report that while there was still a touch of pneumonia present, they had caught it in time, before it could spread to both lungs. He also explained that he didn't feel the infected lung was in any danger of collapsing, as they had been worried about briefly yesterday.

What was interesting, and somewhat alarming to hear, was that they suspected the infection was somehow related to her most recent surgery. The doctor explained that often, when a person's spleen is removed, that makes them more susceptible to infections. He said that in the future, should she become ill, she would need to be monitored closely.

When Elliot spoke up, he once again alleviated his concerns. In no way was this illness the result of their having gotten caught in the rain. She was probably already coming down with the pneumonia when she was discharged from the hospital. While he couldn't confirm the cause, he suspected it was a secondary result from the anesthetic she was given during surgery.

Olivia asked a question then, one that didn't come as a surprise to Elliot. She wanted to know how soon she could go home. The doctor gave a gentle laugh, saying he understood how she felt, because he wouldn't want to be in the hospital, either. He assured her that once her fever broke, and she remained fever-free for a period of twenty four hours, he would happily release her. She would, of course, have to continue with antibiotics on her own, but she'd be allowed to go home.

Though disappointed that it wouldn't be as soon as she wanted, Olivia conceded that his solution was a fair one. She only wished there was something she could do on her part to control her fevers. She hated not being in control.

After speaking with them both at length, the doctor gave Olivia a brief examination. He made sure neither of them had any further questions, then excused himself.

Once it was back to just the two of them, Elliot took Olivia's hand back in his own. He moved to sit back on the edge of the bed, facing her. Reaching out to brush her hair back, he whispered to her.

"I'm sorry, Olivia. I know its not what you wanted to hear regarding going home."

She shook her head, and he knew she was battling with her emotions.

Trying to get her mind off of it, he asked her a question.

"Are you feeling comfortable enough? Or would you like me to bathe your face again?"

Before she could answer, Elliot's phone rang. He answered, and it was his son. He was calling to see how Olivia was doing. Operating on a hunch, Elliot covered the mouthpiece and directed a question at his partner.

"Are you feeling up to a phone call?"

Her brows furrowed, and she had a curious look on her face. Nevertheless, she nodded, and reached for the phone. The smile that broke out on her face when she heard who the caller was warmed Elliot's heart. He stood up from his place on her bed, and gestured toward the door, indicating that he would be back soon. She nodded in reply, giving her full attention to the teen on the phone.

Elliot came into the room several minutes later, bringing with him a fresh cup of tea for Olivia. As he entered, he caught her part in the tail end of the conversation.

"...as soon as I am home from the hospital, I would love to see you again, Dickie. And you don't have to wait for your sisters to visit. Like I told your father, you are always welcome."

She was silent for awhile, listening while his son spoke. Then it was her turn again.

"Yes, that's fine. Did you need to talk to your dad again? Okay. You too. Goodbye."

Ending the call, she passed the phone back to Elliot, a smile on her face.

"It was so sweet of him to call and check up on me."

He handed her the tea he had brought, taking back his phone and putting it in his pocket. Not wanting her to think he had ignored her statement, he replied.

"He cares about you. He always has. Even more so now."

He felt himself getting emotional, but paid no heed to it. This was something worthy of getting emotional about. Sitting back on the bed with her again, he took the tea and set it to the side. He took both of her hands in his, and held to them tightly.

"After everything you've done, you're his hero Liv. And mine."

She slipped one of her hands from his grip, and moved it to the side of his face. Using her thumb to brush away the lone tear that rested on his cheek, she soothed him.

"Oh, Elliot" she breathed.

She was moved beyond words that he thought of her that way. She didn't consider herself a hero. She was just trying to protect her partner and his family.

Sensing he was still struggling she pulled him into a hug. He welcomed the embrace, taking comfort in it. He had to remind himself again that while she was sick, it wasn't anything life threatening this time. It was only a temporary setback.

He was pulled back to the present by feeling just how warm she was in his arms. He leaned back from the embrace, and keeping his arms on her shoulders, eased her back against the pillows. Giving her back her cup of tea, he pressed a kiss to her fevered brow. He disappeared into the bathroom momentarily, and returned with a cool compress, and used it to soothe her cheeks and forehead. This time, he even ran the cloth down her arms, too.

She finished her tea, and set the empty cup aside. While he was getting the cloth cool again, she lowered the bed slightly, and made herself comfortable. This time, as he bathed her face, she closed her eyes, and let him take care of her.

Elliot stayed with her the rest of the day. They passed the time watching bad television shows or playing cards. When her meals would come, he would do his best to encourage her to eat. He offered to go and get her something from outside the hospital, but she insisted that she was feeling so poorly from being sick that it really didn't matter.

Soon, the end of visiting hours was approaching, and with it came Olivia's breathing treatment. Just like the night before, Elliot was able to stay a little while longer while she received it. And just like the night before, he made sure to cool her face before he left. As was their new routine, he kissed her on the forehead as he bid her goodnight, with a promise to see her in the morning.

* * *

Elliot was back in Olivia's apartment, and was staying up later than usual tonight. It was nearly midnight, but he couldn't seem to bring himself to go to bed. He was sitting on the sofa, watching something random on the television, when he was startled by the ringing of his phone.

He answered, and when the person on the other end identified themselves as Olivia's nurse, his heart was in his throat.

"I'm sorry to be calling so late, but it says here in her chart you wanted to be notified if there were any changes."

Still trying not to panic, Elliot managed to answer the woman.

"I did. What is going on? Is Olivia OK?"

"That's the reason why I'm calling. I wanted to let you know that as of thirty minutes ago, her fever has broken."

Elliot let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. He listened to the nurse explain how they discovered this. They had gone in to take her last vitals, and give her a breathing treatment, and found her bathed in sweat. Though they were loathe to wake her, they needed to. A nurse had aided her with a sponge bath, while another changed the sheets on her bed and got her a fresh gown. They were officially in the countdown period. If she could remain fever-free for the next twenty four hours, the doctor would release her from the hospital.

He thanked the nurse for the information, and hung up. Once he had ended the call, he had to stop himself from cheering out loud. He said a prayer that her fevers would remain at bay, because he knew how badly she wanted to come home. He wanted her out of the hospital, too.

Feeling renewed by this news, he turned off the television. He'd be able to sleep now, and was looking forward to the morning. He made sure everything was locked up, turned off all the lights, and headed into bed.

* * *

When he got up the next morning, he remembered to grab some extra teabags from the kitchen before heading to the hospital. Olivia had really enjoyed the honey lemon yesterday, so he made certain to grab that particular kind.

Also, on his way there, he made a stop at a nearby bakery. He was acting on a whim, but he hoped it would pay off. At the bakery, he chose a selection of pastry for himself and Olivia, along with a cup of coffee for them both.

He arrived at the hospital, and made his way up to Olivia's floor. He waved to the nurses in greeting, and headed toward his partner's room. He was almost at her door when a nurse stopped him.

"Excuse me, Detective Stabler?"

He turned, giving her his full attention.

"I just wanted you to know, we no longer have to take full precautions with the protective gear when in Detective Benson's room. This morning's labs showed that she is responding to the antibiotics, and is no longer at risk for additional infections."

Elliot couldn't contain his smile, and thanked the nurse for the information. She noticed the tray and bag in his hands, and added one additional comment.

"I'm sure she will appreciate what you've brought, she wasn't too fond of her breakfast selection this morning."

With that said, the nurse turned on her heel, and headed back to her duties. Elliot continued on his way toward Olivia's room.

He found the door to her room open, so he entered, knocking lightly as he did so. She was sitting up in bed, thumbing through yesterday's newspaper that he had left behind. At seeing him, she gave a smile.

"Elliot."

Her eyes were clear and bright, the glazed look gone. Her face had returned to its normal color, with no flush among her cheeks. All outward signs of fever had disappeared. For all appearances, she looked like her usual self.

He stepped closer to the bed, and pressed a kiss to the top of her head in greeting. Then, he presented her with a cup of coffee.

"Thought you could use some of this today" he said by way of explanation.

She took the cup, and took a careful sip. Her pleasure was evident as she leaned back against the pillows.

"Thank you. This is exactly what I needed. How did you know?"

He handed her the bag in his hands then, watching the expression on her face change from one of gratitude to one of wonder.

"The same reason I knew you also needed this. And don't get too excited, one of those is mine."

Her light laughter filtered through the room, and made him feel warm inside. It was followed by a slight cough. Yes, she may still be sick, but it seemed she was finally through the worst of it. If only they could keep the fevers away these next twenty-four hours, he could get her back to her apartment, and take care of her himself.

He watched as she carefully selected the pastry he had picked out for her, and began to eat it. With her free hand, she passed the bag back to him so he could have his own. Together, they ate their treats and drank their coffee.

Once they were finished, Elliot collected their garbage, and threw it in the trash can by the door. He then took his seat again by Olivia's bed. He suggested a game of cards to pass the time, and she accepted.

After they had been playing cards for a short while, Elliot remarked that it was odd they hadn't been interrupted. He thought for certain someone should have come in to give Olivia a breathing treatment by now.

Olivia explained to him that while she was still scheduled to receive them, she no longer had to get them as frequently as she had the first two days of her hospital stay.

This was some of the best news Elliot could have heard, coming off of what he had been told the previous night about her fever having broken.

They had just finished the current hand of what they were playing, when Olivia set the cards aside, indicating she was done for now. She pushed away the tray table, leaving an open space between her and her partner.

She was hesitant about what she wanted to say, but ultimately decided to go for broke, and speak what was on her mind.

"El, I'm scared. What if my fever comes back?"

Elliot's face shifted to an expression of compassion, as he immediately moved from his chair at her bedside to sit directly next to her on the bed. She shifted over slightly, allowing him room. He took one of her hands in his, and rested the other along the side of her face.

"Liv. You've got to think positively. You will go home again."

He tried to speak as encouragingly as he could. He wanted to support her, but without offering false hope. As much as he wanted to, there was no way he could promise her and guarantee that the fevers wouldn't return. He told her as much.

"I know that Elliot." she said softly.

"You're already doing so much for me just by being here all day."

It was obvious that the conversation was getting heavy for them both. Before things could get too heavy, and become awkward, they were interrupted when Olivia's lunch tray arrived.

Olivia took the cover off her meal and viewed it as though she were seeing a toxic substance. Granted, she wasn't far off, Elliot mused. Some of the items on the tray were close to unidentifiable. Though she refused his offer the other day, he decided to take another chance.

"Did you want me to go out and get you something else to eat, Liv?"

The look on her face said it all. It was a mixture of hopefulness and gratitude. But her words said something else entirely.

"I don't want you going to the trouble, El. I can make do with this."

That made up his mind for him. Standing, he placed the cover back on the tray. Rather than ask, he simply told his partner that he was going out to get her some lunch, and that he would be back shortly.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Elliot was holding Olivia's hand while she slept. She had dozed off after her most recent breathing treatment that she had been given after lunch. So far today, she had remained fever-free. If they could just stay away another twelve hours, she would be allowed to go home.

His legs were feeling stiff, and he also needed to use the the bathroom. Knowing Olivia was sleeping comfortably made his decision to leave her for a few minutes easier.

While he was out of her room, he also helped himself to a cup of coffee. The drink was still one of the worst he had ever had, but the caffeine would go a long way.

He had just returned to her room and sat back down again when the woman on the bed stirred slightly. Afraid that he had disturbed her, he stilled. Sure enough, her eyes fluttered open, and she awoke. She didn't say anything, just was looking at him sleepily.

"I'm sorry. Did I wake you?" He asked softly.

She shook her head to indicate the negative, and pressed a button to raise herself into a more upright position. She then reached for the call button, pressing that as well.

"Did you need something?" Elliot asked her, concerned.

"Yes. I need to go to the bathroom." Olivia stated matter-of-factly.

Elliot, amused with her reply, couldn't help but smile.

"You're on your own with that one." He told her.

"I should hope so."

After the teasing exchange between them, they shared a grin. Soon a nurse was in the room, asking what Olivia needed. When she explained what it was, the nurse immediately began to disconnect the IV line and oxygen so that she could get up. As she was getting up from the bed, Olivia asked her partner a question.

"Hey El, would you mind getting me a cup of tea while I'm in the bathroom? I'm kind of craving one right now."

He nodded at her request, and stood to comply. Just as he was at the door ready to leave, he called over his shoulder.

"What flavor tea would you like this time, Liv? Honey-lemon, mint, or chamomile?"

She considered her choices for only a second before replying. In her mind, there really wasn't a choice to be made.

"Honey-lemon please. It's the most soothing right now."

Elliot nodded, then left the room to get her tea. He had just returned with the steaming beverage as the nurse was getting her settled back in bed. Prior to allowing her to drink anything, she wanted to take her temperature and other vital signs. Once that task was complete, the nurse left the room.

Olivia sipped her tea carefully, though she new Elliot had taken care not to make it that it would be too hot to drink. She was still counting down the hours nervously. She just needed to make it past midnight tonight, without running another fever. That and she needed the doctor to honor his word of sending her home.

"What are you thinking about, Liv?" her partners voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

"Going home." She answered honestly.

"If I thought I could get away with it, I'd have signed myself out of here already."

Shaking his head in frustration, Elliot admonished her softly.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?"

He then took her hand in his once again, and moved his other hand to her face, encouraging her to look at him. There was something he needed to know.

"Besides the obvious Liv, what is it about being here that bothers you so much?"

She was silent for awhile, and flicked her eyes away, unwilling to meet his gaze. Beneath the hand that still rested by her chin, he felt her swallow. When she spoke, her voice was soft.

"I'm frustrated with being sick, for one. But as for the other, I miss spending time with you in my apartment...how we would sit together at night watching movies. I guess I got used to it."

Elliot felt his heart squeeze at her explanation as to why she was hating her time in the hospital so much. It matched his perfectly. He, too, missed what had become their nightly routine.

"Tell you what Liv. Once you are better, not only will we get back to that routine, but I'll go one step farther. I'll take you out on the town for a real movie, in a theater."

As an afterthought, he added.

"I still owe you that Chicken Alfredo at your favorite bistro, too. We'll make a night of it."

Olivia considered his words carefully. She couldn't resist asking, with a playful tone in her voice,

"Elliot Stabler, are you asking me out on a date?"

Momentarily stunned by her question, Elliot thought it over to himself. He realized that is exactly what he was doing. His heart began to thump nervously in his chest as he anticipated her answer.

"I think I am, but I should do it properly shouldn't I?"

He paused, took both of her hands in his, and looked her directly in the eyes.

"Olivia Benson, would you do me the honor of going on a date with me?"

A smile lit up her face, and she nodded her head in reply, at the same time as she answered with a softly spoken

"I'd love to."

The warmth that filled her had nothing whatsoever to do with a fever.

* * *

It was later that evening, and Elliot and Olivia had found a movie to watch on her television following dinner. She wasn't too fond of what dietary had sent her, so he had gone out and gotten them something to share. While it wasn't from the bistro he had promised to take her to, he had gotten her some of her favorite pasta.

They were both sitting on Olivia's bed to watch the movie, and it was just coming to an end. Though neither of them had said anything about it, both were equally surprised that their earlier conversation hadn't made things awkward between them. They just continued as they had been ever since she had emerged from the coma. Best friends as always, just closer somehow. Soon to take things yet another step forward.

Elliot had to stop himself from groaning out loud in a combination of frustration and disappointment when the nurse entered the room. She was carrying with her the necessary items to give Olivia her breathing treatment. He knew what that meant. Visiting hours were over, and he'd be asked to leave.

Prior to giving Olivia her treatment, the nurse offered to help Olivia use the restroom. She accepted, and asked Elliot for a favor, too. As always, he was glad to help with whatever she wanted. All she was asking for was a simple cup of tea before she went to bed. She knew it would be cooled enough to drink by the time her treatment finished.

He left the room to do as she asked.

When he returned with her drink, she was already settled back in bed, the breathing treatment underway. He set it on her bedside tray, and sat down next to her on the bed once again. He laid his palm against her forehead, brushing her hair back. There were only four hours left to go until midnight. Her skin felt cool, her eyes clear and fever free. As he had been doing periodically all day, he said another prayer that she would meet the deadline, and be allowed to go home the next day.

Soon enough, the time passed, and her treatment was complete. The nurse came to collect the apparatus, and replace the oxygen cannula. Noticing that Elliot was already preparing to say goodnight, she saw no need to remind him that visiting hours were up. She simply made sure her patient was comfortable, then left the room.

Elliot promised Olivia he would be back first thing in the morning. He also assured her he would bring a bag of clothes for her should she be released. Giving her a kiss on her temple, he wished her a goodnight, and left the room.

When he returned to her apartment, he quickly shed his clothes and headed for the shower. After he was finished, he dressed in a pair of sweats and a tee, and made his way to the living room. He turned on the television, but couldn't really focus as to what was on the screen.

His mind kept going back to what had happened earlier today in the hospital.

He'd actually done it. He'd actually asked Olivia out on a date. And she'd accepted. What had begun as a teasing and somewhat slightly flirtatious conversation had ended with what could be a pivotal step forward in their relationship.

He found himself filled with a sense of wonder. He'd been amazed enough when she didn't blame him for what he had done. Then when she hadn't rebuffed this new affectionate nature of his toward her, he didn't know what to do. Now, they actually had plans to go out, and she had accepted. How is it that after everything he had done, she still didn't blame him? Not only was she shot because of his actions, but as a direct result of that, she had been hospitalized a second time with complications.

Even though she hadn't said anything, it wasn't lost on him that the pneumonia was his fault, too. He'd figured it out as soon as the doctor had mentioned it was likely caused as an adverse reaction to being so immobile following the anesthesia. Just another thing to blame himself for.

So lost was he in his guilt, that he didn't realize it was already past midnight. He glanced at the clock briefly, and hoped that Olivia had made it past her deadline without coming down with another fever. Part of him yearned to call the hospital to find out, but he stopped himself from doing so. Instead, he decided he would find a selection of her clothes to take with him tomorrow.

He went into her room, and found the same duffel he had used the last time. Still feeling strange about being in her personal space without her being present, he made sure to move about quickly. Once he had selected some items for her to wear, he placed the bag by the door.

He was just about to head into bed when he remembered that he had carried her out of here the other day when she was so sick with fever. She would need shoes, too. He dashed back into her room to grab her a pair, and added them to her bag.

Satisfied that everything was together and ready for Olivia should she come home tomorrow, he decided it was time for him to get some sleep. He padded into the guest room, that he had begun to think of as 'his', and crawled under the covers. Saying another prayer for his partner, that he would find her in the morning still fever free, he settled back against the pillows to get comfortable.

* * *

The next morning, it was a very tired Elliot who made his way to the hospital. He hadn't slept well at all the night before. Once again, the guilt had gotten the better of him, and his dreams were plagued with nightmares. He hadn't had a night that bad since Olivia was first in the hospital in her coma.

He'd tossed and turned, had visions of Olivia gasping for air. Horrid dreams of her fever rising and rising with nothing that would get it under control. Tormented by news of collapsing lungs, fingers pointed at him for having taken her out in the rain. No matter which way he turned, he was always to blame. And the dreams always ended the same way. With him standing or kneeling over Olivia as she slipped away. He wondered if those dreams would ever leave him alone, or if they would haunt him forever.

Shaking his head, he tried to put those thoughts out of his mind. He needed to focus on Olivia now. As he had done yesterday, he stopped again at the bakery today to pick her up something sweet, along with a cup of coffee.

Upon arriving at the hospital, he made his way to her room. When he entered, he discovered that his partner was receiving a breathing treatment. Despite the mask that covered her face, he could still see the smile that she gave him.

Knowing she couldn't talk, he set the bag and coffee cups on her bedside tray. He then leaned forward and placed a kiss on the crown of her head by way of greeting.

"How much longer do you have to go?" he asked, curious as to what point in time she was in her treatment.

She held up one hand with all fingers showing, indicating that she had five minutes left. Sitting in the chair next to her bed, he took her hand in his. He had caught the anxious glance she had given him when he entered the room.

"Don't worry Liv. I didn't forget your things. I just left them in the car for now. I figured things would be more likely to go our way if I didn't bring them up right away."

She nodded, seemingly accepting his reasoning.

They sat quietly together for the remaining time of her treatment. Soon enough, a nurse came into the room. Behind her, was a technician from radiology, pushing a cart with a portable X-ray machine.

"Good morning, Detective Benson." They said by way of greeting.

"Sorry to disturb you, but your doctor wants us to get another chest X-ray this morning."

Olivia nodded. Her coffee would have to wait a few minutes longer.

It didn't take long to complete the X-ray, and soon she the technician left, taking the equipment with him. The nurse still hovered by Olivia's bedside.

"The doctor will be in to see you later this morning during rounds, Detective. Once he has reviewed your X-ray, as well as this morning's labs."

Once she had passed that information along, and ensured that her patient didn't need anything, she left the room.

When it was just the two of them in the room, Elliot passed his partner her coffee. He watched as she took a lengthy sip, savoring the taste. While she was enjoying her drink, he opened the bag he had brought with him, and handed her the pastry he had selected for her this morning. Only when he was satisfied that she was eating, did he take out his own.

They had just finished their breakfast and coffee, Elliot having thrown away their trash, when there was a knock at the door. Both of them turned their heads to see who it was. It was Olivia's doctor standing there, and he entered the room, holding her chart in his hands.

"Good morning, Detective Benson. How are you feeling today?"

Olivia made her way through the pleasantries and greetings, desperate to get to the matter at hand. She wanted to know if she could go home. She listened as the doctor reviewed her most recent test results, this mornings X-rays, and confirmed the fact that her fevers had not returned. Finally, toward the end of his speech, she heard the words she had been hoping for.

"...Considering all else, I don't see why I can't authorize them to release you today. Provided of course, you continue to take the antibiotics prescribed, and follow up with your doctor in a week or so."

Olivia was so relieved, she could have jumped for joy. Even though she had only been here a couple of days, she had seen enough of hospitals to last her a lifetime. She wanted to go home. Her excitement was short lived, though with the doctor's final comment.

"I just want you to receive one final course of the IV antibiotics, as well as one additional breathing treatment before you go home. The length of time to dispense the antibiotics takes a few hours, so I think we should be able to release you sometime this afternoon."

Elliot squeezed Olivia's hand in sympathy. As soon as they were told that she could be released, he had known she would want to leave as soon as possible. To have that time delayed, even if only for a few hours, must be so frustrating for her.

The doctor asked if they had any questions, and when they did not, he shook both of their hands, and excused himself as he left the room. Soon after, a nurse was in with the final antibiotics that he had ordered. She hung it on the IV stand, and informed them she would be in to give Olivia her final breathing treatment around lunchtime.

After she had left, Olivia leaned back against the pillows, expelling a sigh. Rather than focus on what was bothering her, Elliot opted to distract her.

"So, when we get home, I think I'm going to do some laundry, if that's alright with you."

Curious as to what had prompted this turn in conversation, she told him he didn't need to ask her permission. It was then that he informed her that he also planned on washing some of _her_ laundry. At the very least, he was going to wash the sheets on her bed, and change them. He noticed her about to protest, and he explained further, reminding her that she had been so ill with fever the day he brought her in. Clean sheets would likely go a long way in welcoming her home.

She conceded his point, but was ready to insist that it was something she could do on her own. It was then he looked her directly in the eyes, and asked to be allowed to do this for her. He wasn't able to prevent her from getting sick. He wasn't there for her until the fever was almost out of control. This was something, a small gesture, that he could do to help her.

It then dawned on Olivia that Elliot was blaming himself for her most recent illness, on top of the blame he already carried. She finally nodded, giving her consent to allowing him to help with the laundry. She knew she needed to talk with him about this, but now was neither the time nor the place. She simply couldn't talk to him about his guilt over her being in the hospital while still in the hospital.

Sensing the subject matter was getting too heavy, Elliot reached over to the bedside table, and grabbed the deck of cards. Together, he and Olivia passed the time playing a few hands.

Soon, the bag of antibiotics on her IV stand was nearly empty. Her lunch tray arrived, but Olivia didn't want to eat anything on it. Elliot offered to go and get her something, but she declined. She said she'd rather wait, and eat at home.

Just as the alarm on her IV was sounding, signaling that the cycle was complete, Olivia's nurse came into the room. She silenced the noise, and went about removing not just the bag, but the entire IV from Olivia's hand.

Noticing her surprised expression, she went on to explain.

"The doctor has cleared your release, Detective. You are free to go as soon as we give you one final breathing treatment. While it is being administered, I will be drawing up your discharge forms."

The relief on both the detective's faces was apparent. Elliot stood, and stated that he was going to the car to get Olivia's things. She nodded her understanding, and watched him leave. When he returned a few minutes later, the breathing treatment was well underway.

He set the bag down on the bottom of the bed, by Olivia's feet. He then reached into the duffel, and removed a plastic bag. Moving about the room, he gathered a few of the odds and ends his partner had gathered during her hospital stay. The deck of cards, a small notepad and pen, this morning's newspaper. Once he had collected all the stray items about the room, he placed that bag back into the duffel.

By the time he was finished with his task, the nurse was back in the room, as Olivia's treatment was complete. She had brought with her the necessary paperwork to finalize her release. She began going through the instructions Olivia would need to know for her home care.

She also gave her the necessary prescriptions she would need to continue taking. Thanks to her partner's help, those were safely tucked into the side pocket of the duffel bag.

Once the instructions were complete, and Olivia had signed the forms, the nurse went to order her a wheelchair escort. Olivia stepped into the bathroom so she could change, and emerged a short time later.

Her escort arrived, and while she was getting settled in the chair, Elliot took her bag and went to get the car.

* * *

The ride back to Olivia's didn't take long. Once they were back in her apartment, Olivia excused herself to take a quick shower. Elliot headed to the kitchen to prepare them some lunch. They had decided on the way back to just stick with simple sandwiches for now, then order in something else later for dinner.

Knowing she would be at least a few minutes in the bathroom, Elliot made a detour on his way to the kitchen. He headed to Olivia's bedroom, with the intent of dropping off her duffel. While he was in there, he stripped the bed. He then went into the guest room, and did the same to the bed there as well. If he was going to be washing laundry, he figured he may as well wash both sets of sheets.

With the laundry started, he headed to the kitchen. He quickly assembled a couple of sandwiches, then made a small fruit salad to accompany them.

He was just carrying the plates into the living room to set on the coffee table, figuring that Olivia would prefer the comfort of the sofa, when she emerged from the bathroom. She disappeared into her bedroom for a second, then came back out. When she returned, it turned out she had grabbed a hoodie to throw on over her tank top.

If she had noticed the bare mattress, she didn't make mention of it.

She took her place on the sofa, and watched him as he retreated to the kitchen yet again. She smiled when he returned, carrying bottles of iced tea for them both. He placed the drinks by their plates, and took a seat next to her.

Before picking up her lunch, she grabbed instead for the remote. Turning on the television, she found something for them to watch from their selection. Then she settled back into the cushions and began to eat.

After their movie was over, Elliot cleared their lunch plates. He transferred the laundry from the washer to the dryer, and busied himself with a few other menial tasks. He then realized it was time for Olivia's medication.

About to call out to her, he noticed she was no longer in the living room. He looked up to see her walking out of the bedroom, prescription bottle in hand.

"Great minds think alike" he muttered, almost to himself.

"What's that El?" She questioned.

"Nothing. I was just about to remind you that it was time for your medicine, that's all. You beat me to it."

She nodded in response, heading into the kitchen for a glass of water.

She swallowed the medication, then put it up in a cabinet for easy access.

They went into the living room, and watched another movie while waiting for the sheets to dry. Once they were dry, at Olivia's insistence, Elliot allowed her to help in remaking the beds. With both of them working together, the job was finished quickly.

* * *

Later that night, they ordered dinner in. Neither of them had felt up to cooking. While they were eating, Elliot had commented that they would need to make another grocery run or order soon. Supplies were getting low.

After the meal, he took a quick shower. When he emerged, he was settled in for the night, dressed in comfortable clothing. He found Olivia seated on the couch, and saw that she had refilled their drinks, and made a bowl of popcorn for them to share. The remote was ready and waiting for them to choose something to watch.

He took his seat next to his partner, and was pleasantly surprised when she cuddled up next to him. Barely paying attention to what was on the screen, he focused more on the woman in his arms. Olivia had made it through yet another crisis, and was still by his side. He didn't feel he deserved her, but he vowed to prove to her that he was worthy.

Pressing a kiss against her temple, he rested his head against hers and settled in to watch the movie.


	9. Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. I own nothing.

The days following Olivia's return home from the hospital passed quickly for the two detectives. They easily fell back into the same routine they had prior to her illness. Spending their days watching movies together, or getting out to go on a walk.

Now, however, as he had promised himself, Elliot always carried an umbrella. Olivia teased him about it, but he refused to let her get caught in the rain again. He was vigilant in his protectiveness of her. Even more so than he had ever been on the job.

Speaking of the job, that was the one subject neither of them was willing to bring up. Yes, they would occasionally mention past cases or memories in their daily discussions, but they never talked about the future. They never brought up whether or not Elliot would be able or even willing to go back when Olivia was cleared to return from her medical leave.

Olivia still had two more weeks medical leave to go, then she would be allowed to return to light desk duty. It would be an additional two or three weeks after that before she would be allowed back in the field. That was only on the medical front. She still had to speak to a psychologist and get cleared regarding her experiences. They both did.

Elliot had been putting off his evaluation for as long as he possibly could. He didn't want to talk about it. It was bad enough that his dreams still haunted him on a nightly basis. He was often afraid that he would wake Olivia with his nightmares.

She wasn't aware of it, but there were many times during the night now that he would awaken. Instead of falling directly back to sleep, he would get out of bed, and tiptoe across the hall to peer into his partner's bedroom. Checking in on her sleeping form. Listening to her breathing. So terrified that he'd once again hear her gasping for breath.

To have witnessed his partner fighting for every breath she took had shaken him to his very core. The fact that he had seen her that way, not just once, but twice in a close period of time, troubled him a great deal.

If he were to admit it to himself, he could acknowledge that what he was suffering from would amount to a form of PTSD. The fact that he continually relived the day at the precinct when they had faced off against Stevens. Being made to manhandle and abuse his partner. Firing his gun, watching as the bullets struck Olivia in critical places on her body. The way she was bleeding out under his hands. How she stopped breathing on him, causing him to have to give her mouth-to-mouth. Above all of it, her desperate pleas for a promise echoed over and over again in his ears.

" _Promise me Elliot. Promise me that no matter what happens – if for some reason I don't make it out of this alive – I want your word that you won't blame yourself. I don't blame you for one single second of the events that happened here today. But if the worst does happen- if I die- I won't be able to rest in peace if I know I left you behind feeling guilty for my death"_

Elliot wiped his hands over his face, shaking his head. Trying to erase those horrible words as they played out in his mind yet again. When he opened his eyes, he was standing in the kitchen of Olivia's apartment. He had no recollection of how he ended up there. The dreams must have woken him yet again.

He thought back to the words that were playing through his brain. She hadn't died. She was still here, alive and well, sleeping in her room. At least one of them could sleep.

He realized he was standing in front of the cabinet where Olivia kept her alcohol. He knew he had to get away from that. Yet another secret he was keeping from his partner. When the memories came to torture him, all he wanted to do was drink until they went away. He fought the urges, though. He couldn't do that to Olivia. Couldn't drown himself in a bottle. Her mother had done that. But sometimes, on nights like this, it would be so easy.

Hearing a noise behind him, he turned abruptly to find Olivia standing there. Embarrassed to be caught in her kitchen this time of night, he tried to think of excuses. He was spared though, when she spoke first.

"Couldn't sleep?" She questioned softly.

When he shook his head in response, she continued.

"Neither could I. Thought I'd come out and make myself a cup of tea. Would you like one?"

"I'll make it." Elliot said, finding his voice at last.

He was grateful for what Olivia had offered. He could tell by the look on her face that she knew something was bothering him. What he could also tell, though, was that she wasn't going to push him on the issue.

Grateful to have something to do with his hands, he grabbed the kettle off the stove and moved toward the sink to fill it with water. Once that job was done, he set it over the flame so that it would boil. He walked over to where she was standing, and rested his palm against the side of her face.

"Are you sure I didn't wake you? I thought I was being quiet."

He couldn't admit to her that he had looked in on her not twenty minutes earlier, and found her sleeping peacefully. If she was awake now, it must be because of him. He had to have been too loud, woken her up somehow.

She shook her head, dismissing his concerns. Casting her gaze toward the floor, she mumbled something softly. He didn't hear her, and asked her to repeat what she had said.

"I said, 'I had a nightmare'"

_She_ had a nightmare? Could it be that day still haunted her, too? How is it they have opened up to one another and talked about so many things, but still kept this hidden? He immediately dismissed the thought. It wasn't as though he was very forthcoming about his troubles, either. How could he expect her to be?

He was pulled out of his thoughts by the whistling of the tea kettle. Removing it from the heat, he poured them each a cup. After the tea was allowed to steep properly, he sweetened it the way she liked it. Grabbing both cups in his hands, he gestured toward the living room with his shoulder.

"Lets go in there to sit and drink our tea" He suggested.

Olivia nodded, and followed along after him. Once she was settled on the sofa, he handed her a cup. She took a careful sip, and finding it still a bit too hot to drink, set it down on the coffee table to cool.

Elliot, having done the same with his tea, took a seat next to her. They were both sitting with one leg tucked underneath them, facing one another. Not sure if she'd be willing to talk about her dream or not, he took a chance and asked her a question.

"Olivia?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

Despite her attempts, the joke fell flat between them. Sensing he wanted to talk about something serious, she gave an apologetic smile. She nodded at him, indicating he should continue.

"Do you get nightmares a lot?"

"Sometimes. It depends."

He gave her a moment, sensing she needed time. He watched her carefully. She took another sip of her tea, then put the cup back down. Clearing her throat, she faced him once again.

"Sometimes the dreams are about the job, the cases. Work stuff, you know?"

Elliot nodded. He knew all to well. Working a job like theirs, sometimes work came home with you, despite all efforts to leave it behind. Determined not to get lost in his own thoughts, he focused all of his attention on her.

"Then for the longest time, the nightmares were about Harris and Sealview."

At this admission, Elliot reached out and took her hand in his. He remembered all too well. It had taken her a long time before she finally admitted to him what had happened in the basement. Her bruises had been all but healed then. She had been so ashamed, so worried that he would think less of her. It wasn't until he had woken her from a nightmare one time up in the cribs that she had finally broken down and told him what had happened.

Trying to keep her from going down that particular rabbit hole, and perhaps becoming trapped in additional nightmares, he coaxed her out yet again. His voice was gentle.

"But that's not what happened tonight, is it?"

She shook her head. It almost seemed like she was ashamed to meet his gaze. He squeezed her hand, and she raised her eyes.

"What happened Liv?"

She reflexively squeezed his hand in return, and took a deep breath. She closed her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them again, he could see traces of tears. She expelled the breath she was holding, and with it, spoke the words she had been afraid to say.

" I was dreaming of that day in the precinct. With Stevens."

Elliot didn't think there was any way he could have possibly been more shocked. _Olivia_ had nightmares about that day, too? Almost immediately, guilt began to flood in. Most likely it was nightmares of the way he had hit her. Or terrifying images of being forced to look down the barrel of his gun as he fired.

As though she sensed her partner had gotten the wrong idea from her words, her first instinct was to soothe him. She put her free hand on the side of his face.

"Elliot. It's not what you think."

Seeing she had his attention, she continued.

"In my nightmares, nothing happens to me. No. It's your son who gets hurt because I don't act quickly enough."

She was silent for a moment, then added.

"He still got hurt anyway, didn't he? With what he saw and what he had to do. I'm sorry I couldn't protect him better."

Her words opened the floodgates for him. The fact that she, too, blamed herself allowed him to open up to all the guilt he still carried. He first made assurances to her that she wasn't at fault, that there wasn't anything more she could have done. That she had, very literally, offered herself up as a human sacrifice in order to save his son's life.

Once he had made certain that she knew he didn't blame her, he let loose with the real reason he was up at this hour. He told his partner everything. About the guilt that still consumed him on a daily basis, to the terrifying dreams that haunted his nights.

"...and that's why I was up tonight, Liv. I wanted a drink in the worst way possible, but I know I can't do that. I can't use alcohol as a crutch."

Throughout it all, she kept one hand clutched tightly in his, and the other against his cheek. Her eyes never left his. Even when he admitted his darkest secret about the alcohol. When she spoke, it was with understanding and compassion.

"If you find its too much of a struggle for you to have it around, Elliot, I'll get rid of it. Just say the word, and its gone."

He shook his head. Things weren't quite to that point yet. He promised her though, he would let her know if he needed her to remove it.

They sat there, both emotionally spent after everything they had just shared. The tea sat on the coffee table, forgotten. Seeing the exhaustion in her partner's eyes, Olivia stood.

"I think we should both try and get some sleep" she said softly.

Elliot nodded his agreement, though he knew there was no way he was going to be able to fall back to sleep. He wasn't about to prevent her from getting some, though. So when she extended her hand in his direction, he was surprised.

He took the hand that she was holding out to him, and rose to stand with her. He made a move to clear the cups, but she shook her head.

"Leave them."

She then let go of his hand briefly to go into the kitchen and turn off the light. When she returned to his side, she took his hand again. Leading the way, she walked both of them toward her bedroom.

He paused at her doorway, expecting her to say goodnight. He was completely floored when she led him through the doorway, into the room itself. Turning over her shoulder, she saw the puzzled expression on his face.

"Maybe we can keep the nightmares away if we fight them together."

Her words were stated simply, and he suddenly understood what she meant then. She was inviting him to share her bed for tonight. His heart was in his throat. He remembered how not long ago, they had shared the bed to watch a movie while Eli was napping. Olivia had fallen asleep then, but he had remained awake. This was completely different. She was suggesting this for the purpose of both of them sleeping.

Despite it having been on her invitation, he was terrified about encroaching into her personal space. He had frozen in place. Sensing this, she turned to him.

"El, is everything okay? Are you not comfortable with this?"

Yet again, her compassion and understanding touched him. Once again she was putting his needs first. Finding his voice, he managed to say something.

"I'm just worried about you. I don't want to intrude."

"Elliot. This was my idea. It's not an intrusion."

Her words were softly spoken, but the meaning behind them was clear. To further prove her point, she added.

"You need the sleep. We both do. So get in the bed and at least try."

As she spoke, she crawled into the side she normally slept on, pulling back the covers on the other side as well. She looked at him expectantly. He nodded, and walked around the bed to the other side. He thought about sleeping on top of the covers, but a sharp look from Olivia told him he need not worry about it. Both of them were modestly dressed. He in flannel pajama bottoms and a tee shirt, and she in pajama bottoms and a tank top. He slid between the covers, and pulled them up.

He lay on his back for a few minutes, staring at the ceiling. Then as he gradually allowed himself to relax, he turned on his side to face the center of the bed. Olivia, too, had turned on her side at the same time. They were now facing one another. She offered him a small smile, which he returned.

Sensing she was still struggling, whether it was from her earlier nightmare or the heavy conversation they had shared, Elliot wanted to do something to offer her comfort. Reaching out a hand, he placed it in the middle of the bed, right in between their two pillows. His palm was up, all she needed to do was reach out and take it. He then closed his eyes, and concentrated on taking deep, even breaths.

Olivia was focused on centering her own breathing. Her eyes were closed as she tried to calm her nerves. When she heard the sound of skin sliding against the linen, she opened them briefly. She saw Elliot's hand, outstretched and waiting for her to take it.

She released the breath she didn't know she was holding, and extended her own hand, resting her palm in his. Their fingers intertwined. Gradually, their breathing fell into sync and evened out. Holding on to one another, they both were able to succumb to a sleep that was free of nightmares.

* * *

Elliot awakened slowly the next morning. Blinking his eyes, he tried to figure out his surroundings. This wasn't the guest room, which he had grown accustomed to waking up in. Then he remembered the night before. Olivia leading him to her room, suggesting that they share the bed.

As he gradually became more alert, he was also aware of a weight upon one side of his chest. Glancing down, he saw that Olivia was draped over him slightly. Her head was resting on his shoulder, and her arm was around his waist. He turned his head to the side to press a kiss to her forehead. She stirred slightly, and he stilled, afraid that he had woken her up.

His breathing evened out when she relaxed again, settling back to sleep. Reflexively, his arms tightened around her. He thought back to what had led them to this point.

They had both opened up so much last night. The conversation between them so raw. He had learned that she, too was plagued by nightmares, just as he had been. In turn, he had shared with her what had been troubling him. While he couldn't speak for her, he had found what they had shared cathartic.

Yes, he still carried his guilt with him. He didn't expect that to go away overnight. But the weight on his shoulders seemed a little lighter. Whether it was because he had admitted his burden to Olivia, or the fact that she was currently in his arms, he wasn't sure. All he knew was he didn't want to let go. Not yet.

Soon though, both his bladder and his stomach dictated that he did need to move. Sliding out carefully from underneath Olivia, so as not to wake her, he left her sleeping form on the bed. She cuddled into the pillow he had vacated, and a contented sigh escaped from her lips.

After using the bathroom, he made his way to the kitchen. The first thing he did there was put on a pot of coffee to brew. Then, figuring that Olivia would be joining him soon, he got to work making some breakfast.

Digging through the fridge, and following the cues from his stomach, he decided that omelets would be a good option for today. He whistled softly to himself as he removed some spinach, mushrooms, and cheese. He grabbed the carton of eggs, and the milk. Using his hip to shut the door, he walked over to the counter to set the items down.

The omelets were almost finished when he heard Olivia moving about in the bedroom. Soon, he heard her shuffling out to the kitchen. Turning from his spot at the stove to give her a smile, he greeted her. He watched as she gave him a warm smile in return, then headed straight for the coffeepot.

"Whatever you are making, it smells wonderful." she remarked as she poured herself a cup.

Then, extending the pot in his direction, she asked him a question.

"Did you need more?"

"Yes, please."

She came over to stand behind him, reaching around to refill his mug which was setting on the counter by the stove. Then she returned the carafe to its warming plate.

"Anything I can do to help?" she offered, taking a sip of the hot drink.

He was about to tell her no, but then realized there was something she could do, after all.

"Actually, yes. While I'm finishing up here, how about you start on the toast?"

She nodded, and moved to grab the loaf of bread, putting a couple of slices in the toaster for each of them. While it was going through its cycle, she turned to the fridge. Digging through its contents, she removed a jar of jelly, which she placed on the table.

Once the toast popped up, she buttered it, and laid it out on two small plates. She was just bringing them to the table when Elliot was flipping the second omelet out of the pan. He grabbed the other plate, and carried them over to where his partner was sitting down.

"Did you want any juice to go with your breakfast?" He asked her.

"No, thank you. I'm good with just coffee."

Satisfied with her answer, he joined her, taking his own seat at the table. They both picked up their forks, and began to eat. While they weren't lacking for conversation, neither made a mention of their sleeping arrangements the night before.

After they had finished with their meal, Olivia began to clear the dishes. Elliot thought about stopping her, then thought better of it. She had nearly completed the course of antibiotics she was on, he didn't need to monitor her so carefully. He just had to trust that she knew her own limits.

They were sitting together in the living room a little while later, when Elliot brought something up. He was wanting to bring Eli for another visit. Naturally, Olivia had no problem with this. They began to discuss a few simple activities they thought the small boy would enjoy. Olivia mentioned the zoo, and Elliot seemed to like the idea. He did have one condition though – that she come along, too.

Olivia wasn't sure what to say, not wanting to intrude on the time he spent with his youngest child. But she could tell that he was insistent about this, so she eventually agreed. They also made back up plans. In case of rain, they would take Eli to the Children's Museum and let him explore.

As if he was inspired by their conversation, Elliot spoke up.

"Speaking of museums, how would you like to go to one today?"

Olivia looked surprised at his question, but definitely interested. At seeing her hesitation, he pressed further.

"I'm serious. We can still go for a walk in the park, if you want. Or, we can go wander around one of the museums."

That settled it. She was convinced. With a smile, she accepted the offer.

"Let's go while it's still early in the day, before it's too crowded." she suggested.

"And I'm paying for admission."

The tone of her voice made it clear there was no room for argument. Nevertheless, he gave her a look. He didn't have to wait long to wait for her to explain.

"El, you've been taking care of me for weeks now. Let me do something for you."

He was about to argue the point that she had done even more for him, but thought better of it. Instead, he chose to insist on his own condition.

"Fine, but I'm buying lunch."

She raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything more. Instead she smiled. They both knew they were equally stubborn. At least they came to an agreement fairly quickly with as little argument as possible.

* * *

It had taken just under an hour before they were ready to leave for the museum. Olivia was pleased that she finally was able to wear her favorite jeans. While a few still remained, most of the steri-strips that had been placed her incisions had fallen off on their own. She could now wear clothing with a defined waistband again comfortably. She paired the jeans with a blue and white striped blouse that had a sweetheart neckline and short sleeves. She bent to pull on her boots, glad that she could also now manage to put on her own shoes again, too.

She met Elliot in the living room, where she saw he, too, had donned jeans. She couldn't hide her smile when she saw his shirt had similar colors to hers, a blue and white striped polo. Without even trying, they were nearly matching.

Reaching into the hall closet, he helped her with her jacket. Then he put on his own, and grabbed the umbrella he never left the apartment without now. Olivia shook her head at this, but then remembered that rain was actually in the forecast for today. She was grateful that he was bringing it along. Once they had everything, they headed out the door, locking it behind them.

They had spent a couple of hours together at the museum. Walking around, enjoying the exhibits. It had fascinated Olivia just how animated her partner had been during their time there. She hadn't expected him to be so interested.

Now, they were sitting in a corner booth in a quiet cafe. They had both ordered iced tea to drink, and were now perusing the menu to make their selections. Olivia was reading through the list for about the third time, trying to make up her mind, when Elliot spoke up.

"Liv? Did you decide what you wanted yet?"

"No. I can't make up my mind, everything sounds so good."

He considered her answer for a moment. He was having the same problem. Coming up with a possible solution, he decided to suggest it.

"What would you think if we ordered a couple of appetizers, then split them?"

Olivia smiled, almost wishing she had thought of that herself. She gave him a nod. Together they made a few choices, and when their server came to the table a few minutes later, placed the order.

While they were waiting for the food to arrive, they passed the time talking. They each took turns discussing what they enjoyed most about their time at the museum, what exhibits were their favorite.

They were in the middle of an in depth conversation about one of the newer exhibits when the server came over to the table to refill their glasses, and informed them their food would be out shortly.

Both of them reached for the sugar at the same time, their hands brushing. Neither of them reacted to pull away from the contact. Their eyes met, and held. After a moment, Elliot cleared his throat, and pushed the sweetener toward Olivia, indicating that she should use it first. She added the crystals to her tea, stirring and tasting it to see if it was to her liking. Once she was satisfied, she passed the sugar to Elliot.

He was just about to ask her opinion on something they had seen at the museum when their server appeared again, with a tray in his hands. He placed the food in the center of the table, along with a couple of plates. Making sure they didn't need anything else, he retreated.

They found the food very tasty, and by the time they were finished, neither could eat another bite. Declining their server's offer of looking at the dessert menu, Elliot asked instead for the check. When it arrived at the table, he immediately picked it up, and reached for his wallet. Noticing that Olivia was about to protest, he reminder her of something.

"Lunch is on me, remember? The museum was your treat."

She did remember then, and nodded her agreement. She still thought their lunch was much more extravagant than what his share of the admission covered, but knew she had to pick her battles.

After the bill was settled, and they had each finished the last of their tea, they stood up to leave the cafe. Olivia was surprised when Elliot took her by the hand to lead her out, but didn't say anything. She just let her fingers intertwine with his.

When they reached the sidewalk outside, a light rain was falling. Elliot immediately opened the umbrella. Holding it so the majority covered Olivia, he ushered her toward the curb so he could hail a cab for their way back to her apartment. Even though it wasn't a heavy rain, he didn't want to take any chances.

They were fortunate that a taxi stopped for them relatively quickly, and soon they were on their way back. It was still early afternoon, so traffic was still light this time of day. The ride wouldn't take long.

Soon enough, they were pulling up outside Olivia's apartment building. Elliot slipped a few bills through the divider to pay the driver, then slid out of the car. He opened the umbrella again to provide cover, then reached his hand out to assist Olivia out of the vehicle. She took the hand that was offered to her, and stepped out onto the sidewalk. He didn't let go until he needed to, so that she could use her keys to unlock the security door, and then the door to her apartment.

When they made it through her apartment door, Elliot turned to lock it. Setting the wet umbrella on the floor by the hall closet, he removed his jacket and toed off his shoes. Olivia, too, removed her shoes. She was about to remove her jacket, when she felt Elliot's hands rest lightly on her shoulders.

Allowing him to gently remove the jacket she was wearing, she slipped her arms from the garment. She turned to face him, watching as he put it back into the closet, along with his own. She was still staring at him intently when he took a step closer to her. There was something in his blue eyes that she couldn't quite decipher. He reached out a hand and let it rest upon her cheek.

"I had a great day out with you, Liv. I'd love if we could do it again sometime."

His voice was soft, his words sincere. Unable to find the words to answer him, she merely nodded. His eyes were searching hers, and then he leaned in carefully. Her eyes closed, and the next thing she felt was the gentle pressure of his lips upon hers as they met in a soft kiss. Her hands lifted to rest on his biceps, while his slipped under her hair to cradle the back of her neck.

The span of the kiss lasted only a few moments, a few heartbeats. When she felt Elliot pull away, her eyes opened, and she met his gaze. They shared a smile, and he pulled her close, enfolding her into an embrace.

Neither of them spoke a word. They were both overcome with emotion in that moment, and content to just be in each others arms. Elliot turned his head, placing another kiss to Olivia's temple, and wrapped his arms around her a little tighter.

* * *

He could scarcely believe he had just kissed his partner. If he were to admit it to himself, he had been dreaming of this moment for a couple of weeks. It just had never felt right until now. And she had been receptive to it, even kissing him back. Part of him had always wondered if he would have gotten slapped for his efforts, even though she had been accepting of his gestures of affection up until now.

Meanwhile, Olivia was grateful for Elliot's arms holding her tight. That kiss had left her feeling weak in the knees. She was glad to have the extra support, and hoped he wouldn't be letting go any time soon. While one part of her was surprised by the fact that he had kissed her, she reminded herself how much closer they have been getting. The way he had been taking care of her, how they would often hold hands on their walks, or cuddling together under a blanket watching movies at night. It was almost inevitable that they would come to this point.

After a few minutes had passed, they both gradually released from the hold they had on one another. Elliot's hands slid down Olivia's arms, dropping into her hands, which he grabbed hold of. He opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the ringing of his phone.

Lifting one of her hands to his lips, he kissed her fingertips softly.

"Hold that thought" He said to her, reaching into his pocket.

He pulled out his cell phone, and looked at the display, then groaned inwardly.

Kathy.

Wondering what his soon to be ex could possibly want, he steeled himself for the call, and pressed the answer button.

His day, which he thought couldn't get any more incredible, was instantly ruined. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Kathy was telling him that he could no longer see Eli this coming weekend. There wasn't even a specific reason for it, she had just 'changed her mind'.

He tried reasoning with her, arguing with her, even pleading with her. She wouldn't budge. His mind raced with the plans he and Olivia had already made for the weekend. They had talked of taking Eli to the zoo, knowing how much the young boy would love seeing all the animals.

To fuel his anger further, he heard a male voice in the background, one he knew did not belong to his oldest son. It wasn't that he cared that she was with someone, it was that he felt she was being influenced in regards to their children. Kathy immediately ended the call, without so much as an apology for changing the plans.

He stood there, holding onto the phone as though he expected it to give a different answer.

Olivia, who had witnessed his side of the conversation, knew things must have gone badly. Wanting to help, she took a step closer, and laid what she thought was a reassuring hand on his back. She felt him tense under her touch, and she tried again to reach him.

"El. What is it? What's wrong?"

Despite the gentleness in her tone, his voice shook with a combination of anger and sadness.

"That was Kathy. She's not letting Eli come this weekend because she's changed her mind about me seeing him."

He drew in a shaky breath, then exhaled. When he spoke next, his voice was broken.

"How can she do that to me, Olivia? I love that boy so much."

Her heart breaking for her partner, she wrapped her arms around him, holding him close. He resisted at first, then gave in to her embrace, tucking his face into the crook of her neck. She could feel a few tears leaking out against her skin, and she soothed her palm against his head, stroking his hair.

How could Kathy do this? Something needed to be done. Eli was a little boy who needed his father. While she had previously promised herself she would stay out of her partner's private life, she would be damned if she would stand by and watch as his children were used as bargaining chips during his divorce.

She was interrupted from her thoughts when she felt Elliot shift in her arms. He gripped onto her tightly, and when he looked into her eyes, she saw an intensity in his that she couldn't identify. He bent his head, and his mouth met hers in another kiss. Unlike the gentleness of their first, she could tell this was fueled by the anger and emotion he was feeling. It was almost as though he were seeking revenge. While part of her longed to give him the comfort he was looking for, she knew he would never forgive himself if they were to take things further right now.

Placing her hands on his chest, she applied a gentle pressure. He responded to the touch, retreating and making eye contact with her once more.

"Not now. Not like this Elliot. We deserve better."

Her voice, like her touch, was gentle. She made sure to say 'we', not 'I'. She didn't blame Elliot for his actions, knowing he was operating solely on anger and sadness. But she also knew that if they were to give in to the moment, he would regret it later. Plus, she was still recovering from surgery, and not cleared for that type of physical activity.

The look that crossed his face as her words registered was one of utter anguish and heartbreak. He took a step back, and both of his hands came up to cover his face in shame. It was as if he hadn't heard all of her words, and had only heard an unequivocal 'no'. He began to retreat toward the bedroom.

"Where are you going?"

She questioned him, curious.

"To pack my things. I'll go to a hotel."

Reaching out, she grabbed hold of his arm. Forcing him to turn and look at her, she raised both hands to frame his face.

"Elliot. Listen to me."

She spoke to him then, words of reassurance. She told him that he didn't need to leave, made sure that he knew the only reason she stopped them was because she knew he was upset. It took several minutes, but she saw the moment when her words reached him. When he finally understood that he hadn't overstepped his boundaries with her.

Placing her hands in his, she led him over to the sofa, and sat down next to him. She made sure to keep contact with him at all times. He was thrown for a tailspin with that phone call, now she knew he was reeling from his advances against her, worried that he had taken things too far. The fact that he thought he had to leave her apartment told her that.

How long they sat together, she couldn't say. But after awhile, Elliot raised his head, and spoke.

"I think I'm going to go and lie down for a little while. I'm sorry, Liv."

She continued to offer him comfort. She pressed a kiss to his forehead, and spoke to him reassuringly.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I need to run out for a little while, anyway. You rest. I'll be back a little later."

He was so lost in his own feelings, it never occurred to him to ask where she was going. He simply nodded, and made his way to the room he had been staying in. He closed the door quietly behind him.

Olivia watched him go. Then she went to the closet, and retrieved her jacket again. Picking up the umbrella to take it with her, she headed out the door. She was on her way to have a talk with Kathy. She was determined that Elliot would see his son this weekend.

* * *

Olivia arrived at the Stabler household some time later. She hated having to take a taxi all that way, but knew she wasn't cleared for driving just yet. Elliot had informed her that while she was in the hospital during her coma, Kathy and the younger children had moved back into the family home. While some of his things were at her apartment in the guest room, there were still some items he needed to remove. He had planned to get some of it this weekend when he picked up his son.

Pressing the doorbell, she waited for an answer. She was grateful the rain had stopped. She steeled herself when the door opened, and was surprised to find Dickie standing there.

"Olivia?" His voice was a mixture of confusion and surprise.

"What are you doing here? Is Dad with you?"

Olivia gave the boy a smile. Maybe it was good that it wasn't Kathy who had answered the door.

"Your dad is back at my place. I'm here because I need to talk with your mom about something."

He stepped back, allowing her entry into the house. He explained that his mother was in the kitchen, and was about to lead the way. She called out to him, causing him to stop in his tracks.

"Dickie, can you do me a big favor?"

The teen nodded, indicating he would do as she asked.

"What I have to talk to your mom about is pretty serious. I was wondering if you could take your little brother upstairs for a bit, and keep an eye on him."

Again, Dickie nodded. He moved to the playpen in the living room, scooping up the toddler in his arms. Casting one final glance at Olivia over his shoulder, he made his way up the stairs.

Hearing something going on in the other room, Kathy Stabler came walking out of the kitchen. To say she was surprised to see Olivia standing in her living room was an understatement. Then she considered her most recent conversation with Elliot, and realized perhaps it wasn't a coincidence, after all.

"Olivia? What are you doing in my house?" Her voice was cool.

"I think we both know why I'm here, Kathy."

Kathy regarded her for a few moments, then nodded. She was trying to keep her anger with this woman in check. Realizing that her son was probably listening in from upstairs, she decided she should at least appear to be civil.

"Come into the kitchen, and sit down." she offered.

Olivia nodded, and followed after her.

They each took a seat at the kitchen table. An awkward silence followed. It was Olivia who broke it first.

"I'm just going to say what is on my mind." She began.

"We both know that your opinion of me isn't very high. I don't care about that."

She took a breath, and tried not to get distracted. She didn't come here to hash out her differences with the woman. This was about Elliot.

"I'm here because of the phone call you and Elliot had today."

She went on to explain how she had been there for his side of the conversation, and how upset he was that she wasn't allowing Eli to come and visit that coming weekend. Kathy immediately went into a defensive mode.

"I'm his mother. I'm allowed to decide where he does and doesn't go."

Olivia, trying to control her anger at that statement, counted slowly to ten before replying.

"And Elliot is his father. Despite everything that is going on between you two, nothing changes that fact."

She took another breath, then went in with what she thought was her most convincing point.

"I don't care what you think of me, or what is going on between you and Elliot. It doesn't give you the right to use Eli like some type of bargaining tool."

She let Kathy absorb her words, then concluded with her final point.

"He's a little boy, not leverage."

As Kathy listened to the words being thrown at her, she was initially fuming. How dare Olivia, of all people, lecture her on how to parent?

But then she realized that the woman was right. She had been using Eli as leverage. All of the children really. Trying to sway their opinions of their father simply because she was angry with him.

"What can I do?" Kathy's words were softly spoken

"Call Elliot tomorrow. Tell him you want to meet. Actually talk to one another. No arguing."

She let the woman consider what she had said, before adding what she had come here for in the first place.

"And let Eli come to visit his father this weekend."

She waited only a fraction of second more before adding

"If you have a problem with me being there while Elliot is with his son, then tell me so. I'll go to a hotel or stay with a friend. But don't punish Elliot because you are angry with me."

Kathy sat, stunned. She felt some of the bitterness she was harboring toward the woman begin to evaporate. Olivia wasn't out to steal her husband and child from her. Besides, she had already let Elliot go. Plus the fact that she was willing to remove herself from the situation with Eli just to make her feel comfortable proved that her intentions were genuine.

She noticed that Olivia was standing, preparing to see herself out. She spoke out, wanting to catch her before she left.

"Olivia?"

The woman turned, regarding her carefully.

"I'll call Elliot tomorrow. Make plans to meet and talk with him, like you suggested."

Olivia nodded, taking in what she had said. Then Kathy added.

"I'll arrange for Eli to come and visit. And Olivia? You don't have to leave your home."

Olivia let herself out of the house, and walked toward the curb where she would wait for her cab. She was halfway down the driveway when she heard a voice calling after her.

"Olivia!"

She turned to see Dickie running out of the house, trying to catch up with her. She waited to allow him to catch up.

"Is everything okay, Dickie?"

"Yes, Olivia, everything's fine. I just wanted to ask you something."

She wondered what it was he wanted to ask her that he couldn't have asked her earlier when she was in the house.

"You can ask me anything. What is it?"

"Can I – would it be alright if – can I come and visit this weekend, too?"

His voice was hesitant, almost as if he was embarrassed to be asking the question. She put an arm on his shoulder, and spoke to him carefully.

"Dickie, of course you can. I've told you, you are always welcome."

He spoke up again, trying to get his point across.

"No, what I mean is, can I stay for the whole weekend, like Eli?"

She was momentarily stunned into silence by what he had asked, while he looked at her expectantly. Shaking off her surprise, she answered him.

"It's fine with me, but that is something you need to also clear with both of your parents."

He nodded eagerly. He promised he would get permission. He threw his arms around her in a hug, thanking her. Then he turned and ran back toward the house.

* * *

Back at Olivia's apartment, Elliot emerged from the guest room. He wasn't altogether certain if he ever actually napped, or just passed some time staring blankly at the ceiling.

His heart was broken, and he was full of self recrimination. He had been so upset over the news that he wouldn't be allowed to see his son this weekend, that he had overstepped his bounds with Olivia. He had taken the moment of their first kiss, what should be a sweet memory, and most likely ruined it. Replacing it with one of unwelcome advances.

He walked through the apartment, and saw that Olivia still hadn't returned home. His mind immediately jumped to the conclusion that she was avoiding him. Heading into the kitchen, he went to the cupboard where the alcohol was kept. After an afternoon like that, he needed a little something to take the edge off, he reasoned.

Grabbing the bottle of whiskey off the shelf, he also got a glass from one of the other cabinets. He took both with him into the living room, and took a seat on the sofa.

He poured a small amount into the glass, and knocked it back in one swallow. He scarcely noticed the burn it left behind in its wake. He simply poured more and repeated the process. And again.

He was just about to pour for the fourth time when he heard the sound of keys in the door. His head turned toward the sound, and mere moments later, Olivia came walking through. She was carrying a few bags with her, so she must have stopped for some take-out on her way back.

Her eyes met his across the room, and she gave him a smile. Then her gaze dropped to the glass in his hands, and she spotted the bottle on the table, and her expression became one of concern. She set the bags on the counter, not caring where they landed, then hurried to his side.

"Elliot. What happened? What are you doing?"

The compassion in her voice was almost his undoing. But still the anger he had toward himself won out.

"Punishing myself. I deserve it."

As he spoke the words, he forgot all about pouring another glass, and instead chose to drink directly from the bottle. Olivia reached out to stop him. She gently removed the bottle from his hands, and put the cap back on. Setting it to the side, she took a seat on the coffee table directly in front of Elliot. She framed his face in her hands, and spoke to him softly.

"You deserve nothing of the sort. What makes you think that you do?"

He couldn't bring himself to meet her gaze, he was too ashamed. Not only because of his earlier actions, but because she caught him drinking. She should be furious with him, not treating him like this.

"I can't see Eli this weekend. Maybe never again."

Once he began to talk, the words just began to pour out. He spoke of how he felt he had overstepped his boundaries with her, ruined what should have been a magic moment. How she should have kicked him out of her apartment.

Olivia let him talk, though she knew she would have to reassure him soon. But whether it was because of the alcohol he had consumed, or he had finally reached his breaking point, he was setting himself free. Tears were coursing down his cheeks as he unloaded all that he had kept within.

Much like the night before, when they had both talked about their shared nightmares, she had never seen him so open and raw with his emotions. She knew he needed to release them, so she let him continue uninterrupted. She just made sure to let him know she was there. When her hands finally fell from his face, she grasped his hands tightly.

After a time, he was spent. He leaned forward, and rested his head on her shoulder. Even though he didn't feel deserving of it, he allowed himself to seek comfort in the embrace she offered him.

Olivia pulled back from the hug after several moments, and placed a kiss to Elliot's forehead. Using her thumbs, she wiped the few remaining tears from his cheeks.

"Elliot. You didn't hurt me earlier. You are still welcome here. And everything is going to turn out okay."

Now was the time for reassurance. She repeated her words a few times, to be certain he heard them. She saw the moment recognition dawned on his face, and when shame replaced it.

"Olivia, I'm sorry. I promised you I'd tell you before I -"

His voice trailed off, his words slightly slurred. He indicated the bottle that remained on the table behind her. She saw the start of tears well up in his eyes again.

She silenced him by placing her fingertips to his lips and shushing him softly.

"It's alright Elliot. I'm not angry. Just worried."

She gave him a few moments to let the words sink in, then followed up with something else.

"Do you think you feel up to eating something? I brought some food home for dinner."

He nodded. He was feeling a little queasy from his overindulgence with the whiskey, but maybe if he ate something, it would help absorb what he had ingested.

"What did you get?" he asked her.

"I stopped and got some lasagne, with garlic bread sticks."

She couldn't resist adding, with a flirtatious grin

"I'm sure there is no way it will be anywhere near as good as yours."

Elliot's eyebrows raised at the compliment, and he tried to allow himself to relax. Once again, she didn't blame him for something he had done. He really didn't deserve her.

Standing from the couch, he swayed slightly, but managed to get his bearings. He excused himself temporarily, saying he was going to go to the bathroom to freshen up. Olivia nodded her agreement, and said that while he did that, she would plate their dinner.

When he returned to the living room a few minutes later, the whiskey bottle was no longer to be seen. In its place, two plates were on the coffee table, along with bottles of water. A basket full of bread sticks was also present.

Olivia was coming back into the room, bringing some napkins with her.

"I thought we'd go with a casual setting tonight" she explained.

He nodded, taking a seat on the sofa. He picked up his bottle of water, and took a long drink, draining half of it. Ignoring the main portion of his food for the time being, he instead took a bite of a bread stick, hoping that would help his stomach.

Olivia took a bite of her lasagne, then set her fork down on her plate. She indicated toward the television with her hand, and asked him a question.

"Did you want to watch something, or would you rather have quiet for now?"

He appreciated what she was doing. Knowing that his head was still swimming from earlier and his emotional outburst, she was sensitive to what he might need.

"Quiet for now. Maybe I'll feel up to watching something later."

She shook her head, as if to indicate it wasn't something he needed to worry about. They continued to eat their meal in a comfortable silence.

When they had both eaten their fill, Olivia stood and took their empty plates to the kitchen. She placed them in the sink, and tidied up. Stopping by the fridge to grab an extra bottle of water for Elliot, she carried it with her back to the living room.

Instead of sitting on the opposite end of the sofa, as she had when they were eating, she chose to sit right next to him. She tucked her feet up by her side, and leaned her head on his shoulder. If he seemed surprised by her actions, he said nothing. After a moment, he wrapped his arm around her, encouraging her to lean into him further.

Elliot pulled Olivia closer to him, closing his eyes as he did so. She still wanted to be close to him. He hadn't chased her away. He hadn't ruined it. He didn't want to break the quiet calm they were in right now.

How long they sat that way, neither of them knew. Elliot never did ask Olivia where she went earlier. He was still too lost in his actions. He was starting to realize that she didn't blame him for the more aggressive kiss he had given her, but that didn't mean he still didn't feel badly about it.

Before long, exhaustion began to overtake him once more. Even though it was still relatively early, he knew he needed to try and get some sleep. The day was catching up to him. With any luck, by tomorrow, all he would remember would be the positive aspects. The trip to the museum, their lunch at the cafe, the tender kiss they had shared. He wanted to forget the call from Kathy, his drinking to excess, his emotional outburst.

Giving Olivia a half hug, he turned his head and pressed a kiss to her temple. He then spoke to her, his voice soft and full of regret.

"I'm sorry Liv, but I think I'm going to go to bed early tonight."

Olivia nodded, her head still resting against his shoulder. She wasn't surprised by this. Given everything he had been through this afternoon and evening, she knew he must be tired. She stood, and allowed him to get up as well. Placing her hand in his, she walked with him to the door of the room he'd been staying in.

"Good night, Elliot. Sleep well. Thank you for this afternoon."

Her voice was soft, and then she raised up on her tiptoes to place a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth, before turning and retreating to her own room.

Elliot watched her go, feeling a sense of wonder. The kiss was reminiscent of the one they had shared earlier today. Sweet and tender. Maybe it would be easier than he thought to remember the good from today after all. After using the bathroom, he turned and went into the room, pushing the door shut behind him. He stripped down to his boxers, and crawled into bed.

* * *

Elliot slept fitfully, locked within the throes of more nightmares. In his dreams, he was once again taken back to that day at the precinct. Made to stand off against Michael Stevens. Watched helplessly from outside himself as he was made to harm Olivia, all to try and free his son.

As it so often happened in his dreams, by the time he ran to her, she was already gone. Her face bore the brunt of the abuse he had taken out on her, her body limp and bleeding as he cradled her in his arms. In his dream world, he called out her name in a mixture of grief and anguish, unaware that he was crying out for real.

"Olivia! No!"

He shifted restlessly in his sleep, crying out again.

"I'm sorry, Liv. Please come back to me. Don't do this. I'm sorry."

Olivia woke up suddenly, hearing Elliot's shouts from across the hall. While she normally would never consider walking in on him while he slept, she couldn't let him continue on in such a state. Walking across to where his door was, she pushed it open and went inside.

She went up to the bed, and gently laid a hand on his shoulder, trying to coax him from his nightmare. She called to him softly.

"Elliot. Wake up. It's just a dream. I'm here, El."

Startled, he shot upright into a sitting position, his breathing erratic. His body was coated in a fine sheen of sweat. He looked all around, and when his eyes landed on Olivia, he couldn't help himself. The relief was so immense. He grabbed her in his arms and enfolded her into a bear hug.

Though his hold made it difficult to breathe, Olivia wrapped her arms around him in return. Whatever he had been dreaming about must have shaken him a great deal to have him react like this.

After a couple of minutes, his breathing slowed, and his hold loosened. He pushed himself back to lean against the headboard.

"I'm sorry Olivia. I didn't mean to wake you." He couldn't seem to meet her gaze.

Placing her palm against his cheek, she soothed him.

"It's alright, Elliot. Don't worry about it. I'll be right back."

With that, she turned to leave the room. She returned a few moments later, with a cool damp cloth she had gotten in the bathroom. She used it to wipe his face, then his chest, removing the traces of sweat left behind when he had woken suddenly.

Elliot continued to lean back against the headboard, allowing Olivia to take care of him. Part of him felt he should protest, but the cool cloth felt so soothing on his skin. Plus, her very presence was reassuring. So often he would wake from his nightmares, and she wouldn't be around. He'd sometimes tiptoe across the hall to look in on her as she slept, just to remind himself that she was in fact alive and well. To have her here, in the room with him, meant so much.

After she had finished with wiping off his chest and face, Olivia sat down on the edge of the bed and faced Elliot. She hoped he would accept what she was about to offer. But before she could say anything, he spoke first.

"I guess I should go take a shower, rinse off. My sheets are going to need changed, too. I suppose I'll take the couch for the rest of the night."

She took in what he had said, and that just reaffirmed what she had wanted to offer in the first place. Laying a hand on his arm, she answered him.

"El, I'm sure the shower would go a long way in making you feel comfortable. But you don't need to take the couch. Come to my room after, we can share the bed again."

He opened his mouth, about to protest, when she stopped him.

"Elliot. You need sleep. You're not going to get that on my couch."

He stilled, remembering a time when Dickie said something similar to him, back when Olivia was first in the hospital. The first night he had stayed in her room. He must have been too lost in his thoughts, because the next thing he realized, Olivia was questioning him again.

"El? Did you hear me?"

Looking into her eyes, he knew she was serious. He knew there was no point in arguing with her over it. Not wanting to get out of bed just yet, as he was still in his boxers, he decided he would let her know he would be in soon.

"Okay, Liv. If you're sure. Just give me a few minutes, and I'll be in."

She nodded, and left the room. He stood, and quickly gathered a change of clothes. He moved into the bathroom and stepped into the shower. Keeping the water cool, he rinsed off under the spray. He wished he could wash the nightmares and memories away just as easily as the soap that swirled around the drain. He toweled himself dry, and dressed in a pair of pajama pants and a tee shirt.

Heading toward Olivia's room, he knocked on the door frame before entering. She was still awake, sitting up in her bed waiting for him. He thought about asking her once more if she was sure about this, but the look on her face dissuaded him from doing so. He walked around to the other side of the bed, and got under the covers. He wasn't sure what to say.

Once he was settled, Olivia also sank back down under the covers. Like they had the last time they shared her bed, both of them turned on their sides, facing one another. Seeing the troubled look on his face, she reached out and took his hand. She placed it on her chest, directly over her heart, allowing her hand to rest on top of his.

"I'm here, Elliot. I'm alive. It was just a dream."

He felt her heart beating under his palm, and closed his eyes for a moment, and let her words wash over him. He raised his hand to cup the side of her face. Nothing needed to be said. Looking her in the eyes once more, he leaned in. She met him halfway, and their lips met in a kiss. It was reminiscent of the one they had shared when they came home from the museum this afternoon.

They shared a few more kisses, before pulling back. While they both may have wanted to take things a step further, they knew this wasn't the right time. Olivia still wasn't fully recovered, and Elliot was still emotionally reeling from earlier. When the time did come for them, they both wanted to be fully present in the moment.

Instead, Elliot reclined backward against the pillows. He pulled Olivia with him, so that she was resting against his chest. Holding her close, he tried to take some deep breaths and focus on the feel of her in his arms. Maybe, if he just held her like this for the rest of the night, the dreams would stay away.

Olivia snuggled into the embrace Elliot had pulled her into. She was glad he seemed to be calming down. She placed her hand on his face, and using her thumb to stroke along his jawline. She watched as his eyes closed, and sleep claimed him once more. The hold he had on her didn't lessen, though. Snuggling into his chest, she tried to get some more sleep herself.

* * *

Elliot awoke the next morning, and was initially surprised to find that he was once again in Olivia's room. Then memories of the previous night came flooding back. The nightmares, her coming into his room and soothing him, inviting him to share her bed. The kisses they had shared before cuddling up together to fall asleep.

Just like the last time, Olivia was once again sleeping with her head on his chest, her arm snaked around his waist. He didn't want to disturb her, but he needed to get up.

He slipped his arm out from around her, and gently slid himself out from under her. Once he had settled her back on the pillows, he made sure she was still covered by the blankets. He quietly made his way out of the room.

After using the bathroom, he went back into the guest room for a moment. Something was telling him to check his phone. He had been so upset the night before, he had left it behind.

Picking it up off the nightstand, he saw that he had one missed call, and one text. Both were from Kathy. Wondering what she could possibly want, he read the text message first.

He saw that she wanted to meet up with him this morning in Manhattan. She had mentioned getting coffee, and suggested a nearby diner. There was an additional note for him to call her when he got the message. Curious as to what she was planning now, he dialed her number.

He was equal parts surprised and suspicious when the call went smoothly. Once he learned that she wanted to meet to discuss amending the visiting arrangements for Eli, he agreed to it. They made plans to meet two hours from now at the diner she had mentioned.

Realizing he still had some time before he had to get ready, Elliot decided he wanted to lie down for a bit longer. But he realized that he didn't want to be alone. Hoping she wouldn't mind, he tiptoed back into Olivia's room, and crawled back into the bed beside her sleeping form. Setting the alarm on his phone for about an hour from now, he placed it on the bedside table, and rested his head on the pillow. The sound of Olivia's deep, even breaths lulled him back to sleep.

When the alarm went off, he tried to get to it and silence it before it could wake Olivia. As he muted the noise, he turned to his side and saw her brown eyes open and watching him intently.

"Sorry if I woke you." He began to say.

She shook her head, indicating it didn't matter. He decided he should explain that he was about to be heading out soon, given they were accustomed to having breakfast together.

"I need to head out for a bit this morning" He said. At her expression, he went into more detail.

"I had a message from Kathy. She wants me to meet her, something about discussing plans with Eli."

Olivia nodded, trying to keep her facial expressions neutral. Inside she was secretly pleased that Kathy so far had held true to her word. Now, she just needed to come through and let Elliot see Eli this weekend. What would be even better is if he would get to see both his sons. She focused her attention back, realizing that she was being spoken to.

"I'm sorry, Elliot, what did you say?"

"I said, did you want me to make you something to eat before I leave?"

She shook her head. Then realizing he wasn't looking at her, he was still preoccupied with his phone, vocalized her response.

"No, thank you. I can grab a bagel or something light."

He made sure she was certain, then went into his room to get ready. When he came out, she was in the kitchen starting a pot of coffee.

He watched from a distance for a minute, as she found a bagel and popped it in the toaster. He was glad that she was eating something. He'd been worried when she declined his offer for breakfast that she was going to skip the meal.

Walking into the kitchen, he wrapped his arms around her from behind, startling her. She jumped slightly, then relaxed into his embrace.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you. I just wanted a hug, and perhaps a kiss before I left."

Olivia turned in his arms so that she was facing him, a smile on her face.

"Is that so? Well, for future reference, you don't need to ask my permission any time you want either of those."

Her arms were resting on his waist, and she was looking up at him. She tilted her face up toward him, as though she were already anticipating his lips upon hers.

Once again, as their lips met, he realized just how lucky he was. He kept the kiss brief, though. Not that he didn't want to spend all morning kissing her, but he knew he needed to be on time for his meeting. She walked with him to the other room, as he got his jacket out of the closet. Following him to the door, they shared one final kiss before he left the apartment. He was on his way to find out just what it was that Kathy wanted.


	10. Weekend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. I own nothing.

Elliot arrived at the diner where he was scheduled to meet Kathy. He walked through the door, and saw her sitting at a booth in the back. A server was standing by table, presumably taking her drink order. What shocked him is what he saw when that person stepped out of the way.

Sitting in a high chair next to the table, was Eli. Excited beyond words that his son was also here, he hurried to reach where they were sitting. When he got there, he bent to place a kiss on top of the boy's head. Eli, upon seeing his Daddy, clapped his hands on the tray of his chair happily.

Sliding into the booth, he greeted Kathy much more cautiously. Their relationship of late had been strained, and that was putting it mildly. The server came back to the table, placing a cup of coffee down in front of Kathy, and asked Elliot what he would like to drink. He, too, ordered coffee. She also asked if they would like to place an order for food. They exchanged a brief glance, then nodded. Even if they weren't particularly hungry, Eli would need to eat something. Taking a quick look at the menu, they put in an order – pancakes for Eli, Kathy selected an omelet, and Elliot went with two eggs, bacon, and toast.

After they were alone once again, Kathy took a sip of her coffee and put the cup back down again. If Elliot had to guess, he would say she was nervous.

"I guess you're wondering why I asked you to meet me today" she began.

He said nothing, but nodded in response. She looked as though she had something on her mind, and he didn't want to interrupt.

"First off, I want to apologize for the way I've been lately. I've been treating you unfairly, and I'm sorry for that."

He must have had a shocked expression on his face, for she went on to explain in great detail about her most recent behaviors. She wasn't attempting to validate or justify them. When she mentioned about how she had screamed at him in the hospital, and how she had slapped him, he couldn't help but interrupt.

"Wait a minute – you hit me?"

"Are you telling me you don't remember that?" she questioned.

"Most of that day is a blur. What I do remember of it, I wish I could forget."

Kathy took in his words. It dawned on her that he was still traumatized by whatever had happened that day in the precinct. She couldn't get Dickie to talk about it much, either. She only was going by the reports she had overheard while in the hospital that day. A day when she was so upset, she had let her emotions fuel her actions. So she really hadn't been paying much attention to what was being said.

"Elliot. What really happened that day? I need to know."

There was no accusation in her voice, only concern.

With a shaky breath, he began to tell the tale. From the beginning. The first thing he wanted to point out was that as soon as Stevens had grabbed Dickie, he had immediately offered to trade places with him.

"You have to know that, Kathy. I'd never deliberately do anything to cause one of our children harm."

She reached across the table and placed her hand on his.

"I know that, Elliot. And I'm sorry I ever accused you otherwise. Go on."

He picked up where he had left off. He felt himself becoming emotional when he got to the part where Stevens had ordered him to place his gun over Olivia's heart. How she had placed her hands on his, and moved it there herself. What she had communicated to him both with and without words, granting blanket consent for whatever was necessary.

He told of how he was made to hit Olivia, to bind her hands behind her back. How after being hit again, she told him to take the suspect down, even if it meant she would go down with him. Whatever meant that Dickie would get out safe. He had just finished telling of the role their son had to play by cutting her, and how Olivia had gotten him to safety, with a knife at her throat no less, when Kathy spoke up.

"My God. She really is a saint, isn't she?"

Unlike the last time she had referred to Olivia in this context, there was no hint of malice in her voice whatsoever.

"She is."

Elliot agreed. He was choked up, as he always was when he spoke of or thought about that day. As it dawned on him yet again, he added

"She really was willing to die, if it meant that our son would escape unharmed."

Kathy took in all she was saying, and recalled the horrible words she had spat in his direction that fateful day. How he should have shot Olivia on the spot, to free Dickie. She felt ill for even thinking how something so spiteful could have ever come out of her mouth. Not wanting to call attention to her actions, but knowing she needed to, she prompted the conversation further.

"And this man – Stevens you say? He really made it so that it was you who shot Olivia?"

Choking back a sob at the memory, Elliot nodded.

"Yes. As soon as I fired, he pulled her up to use her body as a shield. I hadn't anticipated he would react that fast."

Trying to draw him out of the memory, Kathy spoke up then. She had to say this one final piece, then she would change the subject.

"Elliot, I'm sorry for what I said in the hospital. You may not remember, but I do. I was being spiteful and vengeful, and you didn't deserve that. Neither did Olivia."

Elliot nodded. It wasn't that he outright had forgiven her, she knew that would take time. But she hoped he would accept her apology, and they could move forward.

* * *

The heavy conversation they were having was broken up by the arrival of their meals. Kathy busied herself by cutting up Eli's pancakes for him, then placed the plate on the tray of the boy's high chair. Pulling a toddler safe fork out of her purse, she gave it to him to use. Eli, who had been playing quietly with some toy cars while his parents were talking, began to eat right away.

The two adults were a little slower at starting their meals, but they too, gradually started to eat. After taking a few bites, Kathy set down her fork. She took a sip of her coffee, then began to speak.

"Elliot, about this weekend -"

This time, Elliot didn't hesitate to interrupt. He wanted to make himself heard.

"Kathy, I don't know what I did to make you so angry at me, but please reconsider. Please let me have my son."

"Elliot -"

"That boy, all my children, they are everything to me. You know that."

Elliot felt his emotions running away from him, and took a deep breath in an attempt to reign them in.

"Elliot. Stop."

Kathy's voice was commanding, but there was a gentleness to it.

"I admit, I was angry at you because our marriage failed. I wanted to punish you."

She took in a mouthful of food, chewed thoughtfully, then swallowed.

"I hadn't even realized just how much I was punishing you until yesterday, when you sent Olivia to talk to me. I do wish you'd come to talk to me yourself, though."

Elliot stopped midway to his mouth with a forkful of food. His expression told her how stunned he was by her words. Setting his fork back on his plate, he questioned her.

"Wait a minute. You're telling me that _Olivia_ came to talk to you yesterday? And you think I sent her?"

Kathy's next words were spoken more to herself, but Elliot heard her anyway.

"She was telling the truth, then. You didn't know she was there."

Seeing the questions in his eyes now, Kathy began to explain what had happened the previous day. She realized that Olivia must not have ever planned to tell him what she had done. As she told Elliot how Olivia had arrived at the house, and the way she hadn't really made her feel welcome, Elliot had a reproachful look in his eye.

Kathy also went on to say how Olivia basically had given her a lecture. Told her point blank to stop using the children as leverage. That no matter what was going on between the two adults, they would always be tied together as parents.

Elliot sat stunned, listening to what was being told. He had been so upset yesterday over not being allowed to see Eli this weekend, that it had never once occurred to him to ask Olivia where she had gone. Never in a million years would he have thought that she would have gone to talk to Kathy on his behalf.

Having been lost in his thoughts, he realized that Kathy was still speaking. He focused his attention on her once again.

"You can see Eli this weekend Elliot. In fact, I brought his things with me, you can take him with you when we leave and keep him an extra day."

Elliot was so relieved and happy to hear this news, he almost missed what Kathy said next.

"And like I told Olivia, she doesn't have to leave her apartment. I don't mind if she's around my – I mean, _our_ – son."

He must have looked confused by that, because Kathy went on to elaborate. She said that during their conversation yesterday, Olivia had offered to remove herself from the situation if that was what was giving Kathy reservations about allowing Eli to come and visit his father.

Once again, Elliot found himself feeling humbled by just how far Olivia was willing to go for him and his family. She had offered to leave her own home, just to allow him a place to be with his son.

"Elliot?"

At hearing his name being spoken, he focused his attention once more on the woman who he was once married to.

"Tell me the truth. How long have you and Olivia been together? You owe me that much."

The tone of her voice had changed, and he could hear a hint of anger and bitterness creeping back in. Her facial features showed the same air of suspicion that she wore so often when she had moments of doubt during their marriage. How could he make her believe that nothing untoward had ever gone on between himself and his partner, especially now that things were starting to move forward in that direction?

He decided he would go with the simple truth. Taking a sip of his now cooling coffee, he set the cup back down, and spoke the words he never thought he'd tell her.

"It's not what you think, Kathy. Olivia and I were only ever partners."

Kathy didn't miss the use of the word 'were' in his sentence.

"And now?"

She asked the question, but the tone in her voice gave away her fear at knowing the answer.

"I only realized there was something more there during her coma. We gradually got closer as she was healing."

He took a breath, then decided to go for broke.

"We shared our first kiss yesterday."

Kathy was stunned. This wasn't what she was expecting to hear, at all. She had thought Elliot would either deny everything, or admit that he and Olivia had been together for some time. To find that developments of a relationship between them were only just recent, and that all of her suspicions were unfounded, gave her a mix of emotions.

She was thrown for yet another loop when Elliot asked her a question.

"And what about you Kathy? How long have you and he been together?"

Kathy paled, and tried to formulate a response.

"What are you talking about, I'm not seeing any-"

"I saw you, at the courthouse. And I heard him, yesterday, over the phone when you called."

Kathy's cheeks flushed, and she dropped her gaze. She was given a momentary reprieve from answering when Eli cried out from his chair next to them.

"All done!"

They both looked over at their son, who had syrup on his cheeks and chin. Unable to help themselves, they shared a chuckle at the sight. Taking a few baby wipes out of her purse, Kathy went about cleaning the toddler up, wiping his face and hands.

When he was clean, she gave him back his beloved toy cars he had been playing with prior to their meal arriving, and he went back to running them over the tray of his high chair. Making noises to simulate engine noises, he continued to amuse himself.

Turning her attention back to their conversation, Kathy spoke quietly. She explained that the man she was with was someone she had met at work, and that nothing had happened between them until after she and Elliot were legally separated.

"Does he make you happy?"

Elliot asked Kathy, his eyes searching her face for answers.

Kathy initially bristled at the question, then realized there was no ill intentions behind it. He was being genuine.

"I don't know. We're still figuring things out. But I think he could, yes."

"Good. You deserve happiness."

Hearing those words from Elliot allowed her to admit to herself how selfish she had been. She made a promise to him that she would try harder not to let her anger get in the way of his seeing the children. She still struggled internally with the fact that he was moving on with Olivia, but knew that was something she would have to deal with on her own. That was related to her own insecurities. She couldn't allow herself to have a problem with the woman being around her children, especially after she very nearly died trying to protect one of them.

Kathy focused her attention back on what Elliot was saying, almost having missed it.

"No matter what, we'll always be tied together because of our children. We need to try and get along for them."

Kathy agreed with him.

Then, sensing that Eli was getting restless, they decided it was time to go. Elliot paid the bill while Kathy gathered up Eli and his things. They walked out to where they were parked, and were surprised to realize they had parked right next to one another. That made the transfer of Eli's things to Elliot's car much easier.

After everything was switched over, Kathy gave Eli a kiss goodbye. She told Elliot to drop him off at whatever time was convenient for him on Sunday. The two then shared a somewhat awkward hug, then went their separate ways. Kathy got in her car and drove back toward Queens. Elliot, after watching her go, got in his car with Eli, and turned back in the direction of Olivia's. Looking at his son in the rear view mirror, he wondered how he could ever thank her for this. Once again, he was indebted to her. As he drove, he began to formulate a plan that would help him show his thanks rather than just say it.

* * *

Olivia was sitting on the sofa reading when she heard the sound of keys in the lock. Setting her book down on the coffee table, she rose from her seat and went to meet Elliot at the door. She was pleasantly surprised to find that he wasn't alone.

With items slung over both shoulders, Elliot carried his son in his arms. Eli, upon seeing Olivia, called out to her.

"Livia!"

He reached his arms out to be held. Olivia went over to the sofa and sat back down, so she could take the boy in her lap. Once seated, Eli wrapped his arms around her neck. She held the toddler close, but shared a look with Elliot. He met her gaze, and the look he gave her in return said he would explain everything later when they were alone. Instead of going into detail then, he did ask her something else.

"Are you two good if I leave you alone for a few minutes? There are still a couple things I need to grab from the car."

The look Olivia gave Elliot bordered on exasperated. As though she couldn't believe he even had to ask. Then, to cement the deal, Eli piped up with his own opinion.

"Bye-bye Daddy. I hug Livia now."

The two adults chuckled at Eli's comment. But then Olivia added to it.

"Yeah _Daddy_. We're fine. Go."

Shaking his head, Elliot turned to get what he had left behind.

Once the door had closed behind him, Olivia focused her attention on the boy in her arms. She tickled his sides, causing him to giggle. She then listened while he told her all about playing with cars and eating pancakes for breakfast.

Eli was still babbling to Olivia when Elliot came through the door again, pushing his stroller. He had the portable crib slung over his shoulder.

He was just about to head into the bedroom to set up the portable crib when his phone rang. He answered the call, seeing that Dickie was on the other line. He was immediately floored by the question his son was asking.

"You want to what? Yes, I'd love to spend the weekend with you, but that's something you'd have to ask Olivia."

Olivia, suddenly realizing what their conversation must be about, wondered what she would say to Elliot. She hadn't told him about her visit to Kathy yesterday, and she didn't know what was said this morning. Thankfully, though, the teen on the phone played along as though he hadn't seen her the day before.

"Hold on, let me put you on speaker." she heard Elliot say.

He pulled the phone away from his ear, and pressed a button.

"Go ahead" Elliot spoke again.

"Olivia?" Dickie's voice rang out over the speaker.

"Hi Dickie, how are you?"

The teen's reply was immediate, and he got straight to the point.

"I'm good. I had asked Dad something, but he said I really needed to clear it with you. Can I come stay this weekend during Eli's visit?"

Olivia tried her best to act like she hadn't been asked this question already. She took a moment, as though considering her answer, then replied.

"That's fine with me. I've already told you, you are always welcome here. You just need to clear it with both of your parents."

The excitement in the teen's voice was apparent to both adults. He immediately directed the question back to his father yet again. Taking the phone back off of speaker, Elliot continued the conversation with his older son. Olivia could then tell that he was speaking briefly with Kathy as well. By the time the call ended, she didn't need Elliot to tell her that there would be an additional visitor staying for the upcoming weekend. She could read it in his face.

After he had ended his call, he stopped what he was doing, and joined her on the sofa. Taking Eli from her arms, he placed the small boy on the floor along with a few of his toys. Turning to the woman sitting next to him, he took both of her hands in his.

"Olivia, are you sure you don't mind them being here this weekend? It's going to make your apartment pretty crowded."

She squeezed his hands as they held hers, and answered him simply.

"They're your children."

Accepting her answer, he explained that Dickie would arrive tomorrow afternoon. He wouldn't get there until after school, as he was getting a ride with a friend whose parents were coming into the city for an event. Elliot would drive both boys back to their mother's together on Sunday.

Elliot hesitated, unsure how to bring up the next part – sleeping arrangements for the weekend. He was going to offer giving Dickie the spare room he had been sleeping in, and taking the couch for himself. But he didn't want to put Eli in with his older brother, only because he knew the two were on different sleep schedules. He was trying to figure out how to start when Olivia beat him to it.

"Why don't you put Eli's crib in my room for this weekend? Then Dickie can use the spare room to sleep in."

It was as if she had read his mind. Then, she went a step further.

"If everyone is comfortable with it, you can share my room while your children are here. If not, I'll take the sofa. You can stay in the room with your son."

He quickly shot down that idea. There was no way he was going to make her take the sofa while he slept in her bed alone. He insisted it would be fine that they share the room, so long as that was what she was comfortable with. He explained he could just as easily share with his older son.

"No, Elliot. Give the boy his privacy. But how do you know he won't be bothered by us sharing a room?"

Elliot took in Olivia's question, and then decided he should simply just tell her the truth. So he related to her how, the first night she was in the hospital after being shot, his son had asked again if they had ever slept together. How he had told Dickie the story of that eventful trip back from the conference with Fin and Munch. The two shared a laugh as the memory washed over them both yet again. Getting up from his spot on the sofa, Elliot moved to set up the portable crib in Olivia's room.

* * *

Elliot had just finished putting everything away, the last part having been moving Eli's stroller to the closet. He took a sippy cup Olivia had taken out of the bag from the coffee table, and went into the kitchen to get the boy some juice. Bringing the drink back into the living room, he passed it off to his son, brushing back his curls with his other hand. Eli was still playing contentedly on the carpet with his toys, so Elliot took a seat back on the sofa next to Olivia.

He noticed that she looked troubled. Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, he pulled her close.

"Liv, what is it? What's wrong?"

She shook her head, indicating she either didn't know, or wasn't sure.

Then, when she spoke, her voice was shaky.

"When you told me earlier what you told Dickie, about the time we shared the bed?"

She was speaking to him, but her words were a question. He didn't want to interrupt her, so he nodded, indicating she should continue.

"I can remember him telling me about that, but I'm certain he never did. Why would he?"

She shook her head, as though she was trying to clear her mind.

"Why do I remember that Elliot? And that's not all – I remember other things, too – things I shouldn't."

He pressed her to talk, but she refused.

"Not right now, Elliot. I'm not shutting you out. Later, I promise."

With a nod of her head, she indicated the toddler still sitting on her living room floor. He understood what she meant then. She didn't want to get into a serious discussion with Eli present. Maybe later on, when the boy was down for his post-lunch nap, he could get her to talk.

They were both drawn out of their collective thoughts when Eli piped up from their feet. The little boy asked in his own way if he could watch some cartoons. Elliot agreed, and using Olivia's streaming service, he found something suitable for his son to watch.

Getting up from his spot on the floor, Eli crawled up between the two adults. He sat down, and placed one hand on each of their legs. Satisfied with his new seating arrangement, his attention focused on the television.

Elliot and Olivia shared a smile, and then he wrapped his arm around her. Taking care not to squash the toddler sitting in the middle of them, Olivia leaned into his hold and rested her head on his shoulder.

They sat that way, the three of them, watching as Eli's show played out.

When the show had ended, it was nearing lunchtime. As the credits rolled, Eli stood up from his spot on the couch. Both adults held out their hands simultaneously to steady him. Elliot was about to admonish him for standing on the furniture when he leaned turned to Olivia, putting both of his tiny hands on her face.

"Livia? Cheese again? Please?"

At the boy's request, Olivia's heart melted. She shared a look with Elliot, and the expression on his face told her he was effected much the same way. Since Elliot was able to find his voice first, he made certain of what the boy had asked.

"You want grilled cheese for lunch, buddy?"

"Please."

Olivia gave the Eli a kiss on top of his head, and said she would start on lunch. While she was doing that, Elliot helped him clean up his toys that were still on the carpet and put them away. Then the two went into the bathroom so Eli could wash his hands. By the time they had finished, and made their way to the table, Olivia was serving up their lunch.

Like the last time, she cut Eli's sandwich into three rectangles. She placed it on a paper plate, and set it in front of the boy. For herself and Elliot, she had also heated up some soup to go with their sandwiches.

They all ate together, Elliot and Olivia listening while Eli led the conversation. He was talking about the movie they had all just watched.

After they had finished, they returned to sit on the living room sofa. Eli dug through the bag that was on the floor nearby, and came over to Olivia with a book. He then crawled up into her lap, and snuggled close. Olivia read him the story, and by the time she was finished, his eyes were drooping.

Elliot stood, and lifted the boy out of her lap. He carried him into her room, where the portable crib had been set up. By the time he lay him down, and covered him with a blanket, he was sound asleep. Then he headed back to the living room. Maybe now he could have that conversation with Olivia.

* * *

He found her in the kitchen, tidying up from lunch. She was just finishing putting the dishes in the dishwasher when he came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her.

"Do you feel up to talking now?"

He questioned her softly. She didn't speak, but he felt her nod against his chest. She pulled out of his embrace, but held onto his hand as he led the way back to where they had been sitting.

He sat down on the sofa first, and instead of sitting so she would be facing him, she sat with her back to him. Elliot was surprised by this, but followed her lead. He leaned back against the cushions, propping his legs up, allowing Olivia to sit between them. She leaned back against his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her middle.

They were silent for a few moments, and then it was Olivia who began to speak.

"I remember being here, in the apartment, watching you."

Elliot absorbed her words, but said nothing. He made up his mind that he was going to just let her talk. She obviously needed to get this out.

"I also remember being cold, so cold. No matter what I did, I couldn't get warm."

She went on to describe her memories in vivid detail. It troubled Elliot to hear some of them, though he would never tell her that. From what he could gather, she must have had some sort of out-of-body experience during her coma. He held on to her tighter, frightened to think just how close he had come to losing her for good. Humbled to realize that even then, her first instinct was to watch over him.

Together, they came to realizations. Elliot recalled the time in the hospital when he had awoken at her bedside covered in a blanket. The times in her apartment when he was so certain he could feel her presence. He, too, shared this with Olivia.

By the time they were done with their conversation, both were on the verge of tears. Olivia turned in Elliot's arms so that she was more on her side, facing him. He held her close, and she rested her head against his chest, allowing him to hold her.

After a few moments, she lifted her head, and looked him in the eyes. They held each others gaze for a heartbeat or more, then their lips met.

This kiss was unlike any of the others they had previously shared. It was fueled by an intensity and emotion neither could describe. Their mouths opened to one another. But rather than continue the frenetic pace they had started, the exploration was tender. Their breath mingled as their tongues danced together.

Finally, out of a need for air, they separated. Both were breathing heavily. Rather than diving directly into yet another intense kiss, they simply chose to hold one another close.

They were still snuggling together twenty minutes later when Eli called out from the bedroom. Olivia sat up, allowing Elliot to move and go get his son. After he stood, he bent down to give her a brief kiss on the lips. A second was placed to her forehead in a tender gesture.

"Thank you for sharing that with me, Liv" he said simply. Then turned to go get his son.

When they got back to the living room, the three of them sat together on the floor. Eli got them all involved in playing with some of his toy cars. Soon though, he became uninterested in what Elliot and Olivia were doing, and continued to play by himself.

As they watched the boy, they talked. They were discussing the plans for tomorrow. After breakfast, they still planned on taking Eli to the zoo. They would stay for a few hours, have lunch out somewhere, then get back to the apartment in time for Eli to take his afternoon nap. That way, they would also be back for when Dickie arrived after school.

They were still sitting on the floor when Olivia's phone rang. Getting up, she made her way to the side table so she could answer. Judging by her end of the call, Elliot determined that she was talking with Dr. Huang. He must have been calling to schedule a psych evaluation so Olivia could return to work shortly. Personally, he had been avoiding the doctor's calls. He knew he couldn't do that much longer. A decision would have to be made.

Olivia spoke a few minutes longer, then ended her call. Elliot, realizing that she had said something to him, apologized and asked her to repeat herself.

"I have an appointment to see Huang on Tuesday afternoon. Right after my checkup with the doctor."

Elliot nodded. He had remembered about the doctor's visit. It was with her surgeon, to see if she could have her restrictions lifted. Also, to see if she could return to work. Granted, it would just be desk duty to start with, but he knew she was anxious to get back. He wished he could say the same for himself.

"El? Are you okay?"

This time, it was his turn to shake his head, indicating that he wasn't ready to talk just yet. He wasn't deliberately trying to dodge the conversation with her. But with Eli in the room, they weren't as free to talk openly as they normally would be.

"I'll talk to you about it later, I promise."

She nodded, understanding what he meant. The topic was dropped for the time being. Instead, Olivia asked him what he wanted to do for dinner. Elliot offered to cook, suggesting that they wait and order in tomorrow when Dickie was there. She agreed that would be a better option.

Realizing that they would need a few items in order for him to make dinner, Elliot got up and retrieved Olivia's laptop. He went online, and placed an order with a nearby store to have some groceries delivered. While he was at it, he also ordered some things that would be good to have on hand this weekend.

The order was placed, and scheduled to be delivered within the next two hours. That would still allow him plenty of time to prepare the evening meal. He was planning on making baked chicken with rice.

Looking outside, he saw that a steady rain was now falling. Better today than tomorrow, he supposed. He really didn't want their trip to the zoo to be ruined. Even though it would have been nice to take Eli to the park this afternoon.

He put the computer back on the desk, and returned to the living room to sit with Olivia and Eli. Eli, having grown a little restless, was asking if he could watch another movie. While they tried to limit how much he watched, Elliot knew that another show wouldn't hurt the boy any. He flipped through the choices until he found something for his son. Then he joined Olivia and Eli on the sofa to sit back and enjoy the show.

* * *

When the show had ended, the buzzer rang. It was the groceries Elliot had ordered earlier. He met the delivery man at the door, and then carried everything into the kitchen. Working quickly, he put everything away, save for what he was going to need for their meal.

Knowing that Olivia would keep an eye on his son, he called out to her that he was going to get started on making dinner. He seasoned some chicken and put it in the preheated oven to bake. Once that task was complete, he added some rice to some warm chicken stock so that it could cook.

With the chicken baking, and the rice on to boil, he turned back to the refrigerator. Pulling out some ingredients, he began to prep a salad for himself and Olivia. While he knew Eli wouldn't eat any of that, he did make sure to cut up a little extra cucumber to put on the boy's plate.

He had just called Olivia and Eli to the table when the timer went off. First, he made a plate for Eli, taking care to cut the chicken in small pieces. Then he fixed plates for himself and Olivia. He carried the food over, and set it down. They all settled in and began to eat.

After the meal, it was Olivia who insisted upon cleaning up. Elliot let her, and after everything was taken care of, she joined them back on the sofa.

Rather than watch something else, they chose to let the boy play quietly with his toys for awhile. After about an hour, it was time for his bath and bedtime. Before he went to sleep, Eli asked Olivia for a story, to which she gladly obliged. After she had finished the book, she gave the boy a kiss on the head. Elliot carried him in to the bedroom, and lay him down in the portable crib. By the time he had turned out the light to walk out, Eli was already asleep.

When Elliot had returned to the living room, he saw that the lights had been turned down. Olivia had been to the kitchen, and brought out drinks for both of them. She was waiting on the sofa for him. He walked over and sat next to her.

Now that Eli had gone to bed for the night, he knew she would be expecting him to open up to her. He wasn't sure quite what to say.

But this was a conversation they needed to have.

They sat quietly for a few minutes. When the silence was broken, it was Olivia who spoke first.

"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to El. But does whatever is on your mind have anything to do with my appointment with Huang on Tuesday?"

Elliot nodded, but still remained quiet. Olivia sat there next to him, giving him time. Just when she was certain he wasn't going to say anything at all on the subject, he spoke up.

"I still haven't talked to him, Liv. I keep putting it off."

That wasn't shocking news to her. Neither of them were ever that forthcoming when it came to mandatory psych visits. They both tended to keep their feelings buried.

Laying her hand on his thigh, she tried to be supportive. Even though inside, she was secretly terrified at where this conversation may lead.

"At the risk of sounding like Huang, what is it that you are avoiding talking to him about?" she questioned.

He thought about what she had asked, unsure if he was willing to give the answer. Hell, he wasn't sure if he knew what the answer was. Trying to put his thoughts into words, he spoke up.

" I don't want him to get inside my head. _I_ don't even want to be inside my head sometimes."

She asked what he meant by that, and he elaborated.

"He's going to want to know why I haven't gone back to work yet. I still don't know if I can go back, Liv."

He drew in a shaky breath, and held it. He rubbed his palms over his face. Exhaling, he turned to face her.

"I honestly don't think I can look at, let alone touch, my gun again. Not knowing what I did with it."

She opened her mouth to speak, but he silenced her with a look.

"I know you don't blame me, Liv. But I blame myself."

Olivia absorbed what he was telling her. While his words were hard to hear, they really didn't come as much of a surprise. Part of it still hurt, though. She had envisioned them remaining partners until the end, turning their badges in simultaneously, and retiring at the same time. Now, it seemed that wasn't going to happen.

She was nearly ready to go back to work. The thought of continuing on at SVU without Elliot by her side scared her a little. For the last twelve years, he was all she had known. But the steps they had been taking in their relationship told her that even if he did come back, they wouldn't be able to remain partners anyway. Whatever was happening between them, Elliot would always be a constant in her life. She knew what it was she wanted to tell him.

"El, I still think you need to talk to Huang, clear things up. I know there are some things you can't tell me."

He opened his mouth to object, but she stopped him by lightly pressing her fingers to his lips.

"It's the truth El, and it's okay. Maybe someday you'll be able to tell me, but right now, I know you can't."

She waited a moment or two, to allow him to take in what she had just said. Then, she finished making her point.

"Maybe, the reason you're having so much trouble coming to a decision is because you've already made up your mind."

His eyes flew to hers, and she could see tears welling up in them. She lowered her hand from his mouth, and reached for him. Wrapping her arms around him, she pulled him close.

While she was holding him, she could almost swear she heard him whisper the words "I'm sorry" into her ear as he buried his head into the crook of her shoulder. She soothed him, running her hand through his hair. She too, was struggling with her own emotions, but it wasn't about her right now.

After a few minutes, he composed himself enough to pull back. But he didn't move out of her embrace completely. Keeping his hands on her arms, he tugged gently, causing her to move with him. She did, and soon found herself resting against his chest as they reclined on the sofa together. He began to run his fingers through her hair, content to just hold her for now.

How long they stayed that way, neither one knew. After some time, they both mutually agreed on a need for sleep. Tomorrow would be a busy day.

Elliot emerged from the bathroom, changed into pajamas for the night. He wasn't sure where Olivia wanted him to sleep. He found her in the kitchen, getting a drink of water. She, too, had already changed into the clothes she was going to sleep in.

Sensing him come up behind her, she turned to greet him. She held out her bottle of water, offering him a drink. He accepted, and drained the rest of the bottle. Turning out the light, he spoke up.

"Um, Liv...I don't know how you wanted to work things tonight. But Eli is in your room – not that I don't trust you with him -."

A single look from her caused him to pause in his ramblings.

"Elliot. Stop."

He waited to see what it was she had to say.

"You're staying in my room tonight. I think we've both found we sleep better when we share the bed."

With that said, she held out her hand in his direction. Taking it, they walked together toward her bedroom. Once in the room, Elliot paused at the portable crib to look in on Eli. The boy was still sleeping soundly. Then he made his way to what, in just the past two nights, had become his side of the bed.

Both crawled into the bed at the same time, and gravitated toward one another. They shared a few tender kisses before lying back on the pillows. Elliot pulled Olivia closer, so that she was once again resting on his chest. Nestled safely together, they fell into the first full night of sleep that would be nightmare free for each of them in a long while.

* * *

Elliot awoke slowly the next morning. It was the third morning in a row that he had woken up in Olivia's bed. Like the previous two days, she was once again asleep on his chest, her arm around his waist. He tried to shake the thoughts in his mind of how he could get used to this. While they were taking steps forward, he and Olivia really hadn't discussed what direction they wanted to take their relationship.

Though he hated to move, he knew he needed to get up. He wanted to have breakfast mostly made before Eli woke up. He carefully slid out from underneath Olivia, easing her back down against the pillows.

As he was making his way past the portable crib, he heard Eli call out to him. He inwardly cringed, as he wasn't ready for the boy to be awake yet. If he didn't get enough sleep, he was sure to be cranky later. Picking him up, he cuddled him close. Eli snuggled against his shoulder, and pointed toward the bed with one hand.

"Livia! Hugs!"

His voice called out, an equal measure of both cheerful and sleepy. Olivia stirred in the bed, and opened her eyes, looking at the pair of father and son. As though she knew what Elliot wanted to do, she held out her arms.

"I'll take him."

At her offer, Elliot swore he fell for her just a little bit more. He walked back toward the bed, and lay Eli down next to her. She pulled the small boy close, and the two snuggled under the covers together. In mere moments, he had fallen back to sleep. Olivia looked back up at Elliot and whispered softly.

"Go. We'll be fine."

He bent down, and gave her a kiss. Then, knowing his son was in safe hands, he went to gather his things. Now that he had a little more time, he decided he would take a quick shower before preparing the morning meal.

Ten minutes later, he emerged from the bathroom, dressed for the day. He paused at Olivia's bedroom door, looking in as she lay in bed next to his young son. It appeared that she had fallen back to sleep as well. Satisfied that all was well, he headed toward the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

Even though Eli had just had them the day before at the diner, Elliot decided he was going to make pancakes for breakfast. Next to grilled cheese, pancakes were one of his son's favorite foods. He wanted to make the day, the whole weekend really, special. As he was mixing the batter, he thought about the day that lay ahead.

When the batter was made, he folded in some fresh blueberries. Soon, he was turning out fluffy pancakes onto a platter for serving. Once they were all made, he put them in the toaster oven on a low setting to keep them warm. He then went in to check on Eli and Olivia.

Going into the bedroom, his heart was full of love as he saw the pair. Olivia was lying partially on her side, and Eli was resting against her chest. His arms were wrapped around her. If not for the feeling of invading her privacy by photographing her while she was asleep, he definitely would have taken a picture. Instead, he filed it away in his memory.

As though sensing she was being watched, Olivia's eyes fluttered open. She saw Elliot standing there in the doorway, and she smiled.

Knowing that it was time to get up, she gently rubbed the back of the boy who was cuddled up to her. He resisted at first, snuggling closer to her in an attempt to sink deeper into sleep. Then, when his eyes opened and he saw his daddy in the doorway, he was happy.

Olivia opened her mouth to ask something, but Elliot stopped her. It was as though he had anticipated her question.

"We'll let him eat breakfast in his pajamas. Same goes for you."

Seeing the look she was giving him, he went on to explain.

"That way, I can get him dressed while you are getting ready after we eat."

She nodded then. What he had said made sense. Plus, it wasn't as if Elliot hadn't seen her in pajamas before. Especially not in the few weeks he'd been staying at her apartment. While Elliot carried Eli out to the kitchen to get him situated, she stopped in the bathroom.

When she got to the kitchen, she found a cup of coffee waiting for her at the table. She took a sip, savoring the taste. She was about to ask Elliot if he needed any help, when he brought three plates over. Eli's plate, naturally had the pancakes already cut up into manageable bite size pieces. Syrup had also already been added.

Elliot placed the last two plates on the table. One in front of Olivia, the other at his own seat. Olivia's eyes widened slightly when she realized that he had added blueberries to them. Reaching for the syrup, she drizzled a small amount on, then began to eat.

When they had finished eating, Eli's face was again covered in syrup. His hands were sticky, too. Grabbing a clean dishcloth, Elliot wet it, then cleaned him up.

Olivia stated she was going to take a quick shower before getting ready. Elliot said this wasn't a problem. He put Eli in the living room with some of his toys, and let the boy play. While that was happening, he grabbed a bag. He went about the apartment, packing a few small things that would come in handy during their outing. Snacks, toys, even a change of clothing. Pulling the stroller out of the closet, he tucked the bag into the small shelf underneath the seat.

He had just finished that task when Olivia emerged from the bathroom in her robe. She was headed to her bedroom to get dressed for the day. Now it was time to dress Eli. Picking the boy up in his arms, he called out to her.

"Liv? Can I grab a change of clothes for Eli from your room before you get changed?"

She nodded, walking into the bedroom ahead of him. She was looking through her closet when he entered the room. Laying her clothing choices out on the bed as she then moved to her dresser drawers for a pair of jeans.

Elliot quickly selected a pair of pants and a shirt for Eli, unable to believe he didn't think of picking clothes for the day when he was getting the extras earlier. He thought he would feel awkward being in Olivia's room while she was choosing her own clothes for the day, but strangely enough, he didn't. Then he realized that both times she was in the hospital, he was the one who went through her things to find items for her to wear home. It wasn't as if he was ogling her, he reasoned to himself.

Taking the items for Eli in hand, he hastily retreated from the room, closing the door behind himself. After he had left, he went to the living room, where he got Eli changed from his pajamas.

Meanwhile, Olivia quickly changed into the clothes she had selected. Having already fixed her hair and makeup after her shower, all she needed now was her shoes and jacket. She met Elliot by the door. While she put on her shoes, he got Eli in his jacket. Then, he settled the boy in his stroller and strapped him in.

Elliot came up behind her, and helped her into her jacket. He stole a kiss after he helped remove her hair from under the collar. Once they made sure they had everything, they headed out the door. They were on their way to the zoo.

* * *

When they arrived at the zoo, Elliot made sure Eli was situated in his stroller. Olivia wanted to help, but until she was cleared at her upcoming doctor's appointment, he refused to let her carry anything.  
Once they arrived at the gate, it was Olivia who paid for admission before Elliot could even reach for his wallet. Elliot simply shook his head in disbelief, but chose to remain quiet.

With Elliot pushing the stroller, they began to walk. They were pleased that it was such a nice day, which meant that most of the animals were visible. As they moved from exhibit to exhibit, Eli would point to the animals, and often would try and make the sounds that went along with them. It did Elliot's heart good to see his youngest son having so much fun.

They had been exploring for about an hour when Eli became a little bit fussy. Heading over to one of the benches, they sat down to give him a little break. Elliot reached into the bag he had brought with him, and found some crackers for the boy to snack on. He also took out some juice so he would have something to drink.

Olivia momentarily left father and son alone for a few minutes. When she returned, she had a bottle of water with her. After opening it and taking a few sips, she offered the drink to Elliot. He hadn't even realized how thirsty he actually was until he saw her drinking.

Once Eli had finished with his snack, they got up to walk around some more. One of the vendors offered the young boy a balloon, which his father tied to the handles of the stroller so it wouldn't fly away.

They spent the next hour walking around the parts of the zoo they had missed the first time. Eli particularly enjoyed seeing the penguins. He laughed at the way they would walk, and loved seeing them jump in the water.

Soon, the time came when they had seen all the animals that there were to see. Plus, it was creeping up on lunchtime. Elliot knew Eli had to be getting hungry. They made their way out of the zoo and to the car.

Elliot drove them to a nearby restaurant, and rather than use the stroller, opted to carry Eli inside. When he and Olivia were shown to a booth, they made sure to secure a high chair for the boy.

Like they did the day they went to the museum, both Elliot and Olivia ordered iced tea to drink. He ordered juice for Eli, which he transferred to a sippy cup that he pulled out of the bag he had brought with him. Now he had to focus on two menus. The children's menu, to find something suitable for his son to eat, and then the regular menu to find a choice for himself.

Scanning the children's menu, he made a point to avoid the grilled cheese. While it was Eli's favorite, he'd had it for lunch the day before. It was also likely he would request it again at some point this weekend while staying at Olivia's. His eyes dropped to the next choice on the menu, chicken tenders. What he liked about that option was that there was a choice of having them served grilled. That would be perfect. He selected that for his son, along with a side of applesauce.

That decision having been made, he scanned the other menu. He was about to ask Olivia what her choice was, when she spoke up.

"El? What are you getting? I think I'm going with the grilled chicken salad."

He spied what she was talking about, and read through the description. But then he realized that what he was really craving was a burger and fries. He felt bad about it, because he was trying to inspire healthy eating choices for his son. Maybe he should get a salad, too. Then he remembered that even when they were together, he and Kathy did allow Eli to have french fries as a treat every now and then. So if he did get fries with his meal, he could share a couple with the boy. Plus, he knew Olivia would likely steal some as well. That cemented his decision.

Their server came back to the table, ready to take their order. To keep Eli occupied until the food arrived, Elliot tried to distract him with toys. They had little to no effect in engaging the toddlers interest. Olivia then decided to try something. Grabbing a crayon from a small bin at the end of their table, she turned her paper placemat upside down on the boy's highchair tray. The two adults watched as the toddler held the crayon in his small fist, and scribbled across the page, amazed as color followed in its wake.

They waited roughly fifteen minutes before their meals arrived. Before Elliot had a chance to, Olivia had taken Eli's plate. She cut his chicken up into bite size pieces, and placed it in front of him. He managed to recover enough to get the boy's utensils out of the bag that was sitting next to him.

Once they had cooled sufficiently, Elliot placed two french fries on his son's plate as well. He pretended not to notice as Olivia reached over and snagged one for herself. Satisfied that his son was taken care of, and eating on his own, he turned his attention to his own food.

He and Olivia were about halfway through their meals when Olivia offered him a bite of her salad. He accepted, and was just getting ready to reach for his fork so he could try some. Then, she stabbed her own fork into her salad, and extended it in his direction. After twelve years together as partners, sharing utensils or a drinking glass wasn't uncommon for them. But this time, there seemed to be a new underlying intimacy in the act. He leaned forward to accept the bite.

After he had chewed and swallowed the food, he agreed with her that her salad was good. Then, to return the gesture, he offered her a bite of his burger. Knowing that she often tended to choose healthier foods, he didn't think she would accept. When she did, instead of passing her the burger, he held it out in her direction. She placed her hands over his, and took her bite. When she pulled back, still chewing, her eyes met his.

They shared a smile. He loved how, every day, they seemed to grow closer. He was enjoying spending time with her, the three of them. The weekend would soon get even better, with the arrival of his older son later this afternoon.

Soon, they had all finished eating, and the check arrived. This time, Elliot made sure to grab it. Olivia opened her mouth to protest, but he silenced her with a look. He paid the bill, making sure to leave a proper tip on the table. Then he began to gather Eli's things. Slinging the bag over his shoulder he lifted his son from the highchair. Olivia followed them out to the car.

By the time they arrived back at Olivia's, Eli had fallen asleep in the backseat. Elliot was able to manage the bag and carry Eli, but he needed some help with the stroller. He allowed Olivia to help him with that, since it didn't really need to be lifted.

They took the elevator up, then Olivia used her key to let them in the door. Elliot deposited the bag on the couch, while Olivia folded the stroller and put it away in the closet. Together, they managed to get the sleeping boy out of his jacket. They didn't want him to be too hot while he napped. Then, Elliot carried him into where his portable crib was, and lay him down.

When he returned to the living room, Olivia was waiting for him on the sofa. He sat down next to her, and enfolded her into an embrace.

"Thank you." He said simply.

"For what?" She asked, curious.

"A wonderful day. For giving me this weekend with my son."

She looked into his eyes, searching for words unspoken.

"Elliot. I've told you, he's always welcome here."

He took hold of both of her hands in his. They hadn't had a chance to talk last night, but now he knew they needed to discuss this.

"You went to talk to Kathy. You're the reason I have Eli this weekend."

His words were stated as fact, not a question. Before she could say anything to justify her actions, he spoke again.

"I don't know what it was you said to her, but because you did, she and I talked – really talked – for the first time in a long while."

He continued on then, telling her of his breakfast the day before with Kathy. How they talked openly and honestly. Even how he had admitted to his soon to be ex that something was starting to develop between the two of them. He looked at her, hesitant, afraid he had overstepped.

She spoke up then, letting him know that all was well.

"I'm not sure what is going to happen between us either, El. But I like the direction we're heading in."

At that point, all conversation stopped. They were locked in an embrace, and lost in a kiss as their lips met. They spent a few minutes kissing before pulling apart. Both were feeling a little tired from their morning outing, so Elliot reclined on the sofa, pulling Olivia with him. They both turned on their sides, curling up on the sofa together. Elliot spread a blanket over the two of them, and set an alarm on his phone. They decided they would take a rest together for a little while. They wanted to be up by the time that Dickie arrived, and when Eli awoke from his nap.

* * *

It was Elliot who woke first, coming gradually into consciousness. He was aware of being on the sofa, and that Olivia was in his arms. Now that he was awake, he carefully reached for his cell phone to silence the alarm before it could go off. Then, he wrapped his arms tighter around Olivia, and pulled her close.

He placed a kiss to the back of her head, and thought about the events of the day so far. How much Eli had enjoyed himself at the zoo. The three of them having lunch together. He recalled how Olivia had tended to his son. Giving him the crayon, cutting up his food for him. He loved watching the two of them interact.

He felt Olivia stir in his arms then, and loosened his hold on her a little. She started to turn over, and he guided her somewhat, so she wouldn't fall off the sofa. She didn't stop moving until they were facing one another.

There was a look on her face that Elliot couldn't quite figure out. Her eyes kept searching his, her hands resting delicately on his chest. Still keeping his arms around her, he questioned her softly.

"Are you alright, Liv?"

"Yes. Just thinking about something." There was a light in her eyes now, and her voice held a tone of mischief.

He wanted to ask her what was on her mind, what she was thinking about. As though she anticipated his question, the next words out out of her mouth were his answer.

"I was thinking of how your son – your other son – is going to be here soon. And that your children don't know what is happening between us."

He tried to process what she was telling him, figure out where she could possibly be going with this. Was she having regrets, or second thoughts about a relationship with him? Before he could answer her, she continued on.

"Since I don't know when we'll get the chance for awhile, I was hoping to steal a few kisses from you."

Upon hearing those words, relief coursed through him. He pressed his forehead against hers. Then he moved his hands around to the front so that they framed her face. Together they came closer until their lips met. The kiss started off tender, but gradually grew more passionate. Olivia sighed into Elliot's mouth as her fists clutched onto his shirt. His hands fell from her face, to wrap tightly around her waist again, causing her shirt to ride up a little.

Without breaking the kiss, he dared to explore the exposed flesh of her back with his fingers. As he was trailing his fingertips along her skin, he became vaguely aware that she was starting to unbutton his shirt.

Both were startled when, simultaneously, Olivia's buzzer rang and Eli called out from the bedroom. They pulled apart from one another like they had been struck with a surge of electricity. In many ways, it felt like they had. They were each gasping for breath.

Looking at her, he could see her mouth was a little bit swollen from his kisses. Her shirt was disheveled. He probably guessed that he looked much the same. A pang of regret filled him. She deserved better than just groping on the couch.

"I'm sorry, Liv. I got carried away." He said to her in an attempt to apologize.

"We both did." Was her reply, and judging by the look in her eyes, she wasn't sorry at all. That allowed him to relax.

They were startled back to reality by the sounding of the buzzer for a second time. Eli called again for his daddy, too. They both got up from the couch. Olivia moved in the direction of her door, to buzz in Dickie. Elliot headed toward the bedroom.

By the time Elliot had returned to the living room, holding Eli, Olivia was closing the door behind his eldest son. He had a backpack slung over one shoulder, and was carrying a duffel bag in his hand.

"Dickie, the guest room is all yours this weekend." Olivia announced, gesturing toward the room.

"But what about Eli? What about Dad? Where will they sleep?"

The teen fired off the three questions in a row, barely stopping for breath in between. He looked between the two adults, waiting for an answer.

It was Olivia who stepped forward to respond first.

"Eli's crib is in my room for this weekend. I thought you'd appreciate having your privacy."

She then took a deep breath as she prepared to answer the second part of his question.

"Your father will be sharing my room too. If you have a problem with that, I can let him sleep there and I will take the couch."

"Liv -" Elliot began to say something, to admonish her for suggesting something they had already discussed. He wasn't going to allow her to take the couch.

He never got to finish his sentence, for his son spoke up instead.

"You don't have to sleep on the couch, Olivia. This is your apartment."

His voice made clear that he was insistent upon that fact. He then grew quiet for a few moments, as though he was taking in what else she had said. After allowing himself a brief time to process, he spoke again.

" I don't mind if you and dad share the room. You're adults after all, you don't need my permission."

With that said, he walked toward the guest room to set down his bags. Alone in the room, he considered what had been said. Something was changing between his father and Olivia, he could tell. What, he didn't know yet. He felt a sense of calm, though, at the fact of how honest they were being. That and the fact that Olivia offered to give up her room for his dad and take the couch herself.

Shaking his head, he dug through his bag for a change of clothes. He shed his school uniform, and put on something more comfortable. Then he made his way back out to the living room to join his Dad, Olivia, and his little brother.


	11. Weekend - Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer - SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. I own nothing.

Dickie arrived in the living room, and saw that Olivia had also changed into more comfortable clothes. Eli was playing on the floor, and his father wasn't anywhere to be seen. He heard the sound of a door opening, and turned toward the noise.

Elliot came walking out of the bedroom. He, too, was now wearing sweats and a tee. He walked around to the sofa and sat down. Dickie, feeling nervous, asked if he could have something to drink. In reply, Olivia not only told him yes, but that he didn't need to ask in the future. He could help himself to anything in the fridge or kitchen cabinets any time he wanted. She made sure he understood that he was to make himself at home.

He went into the kitchen, and got himself a bottle of iced tea from the fridge. Remembering his manners, he asked if anyone else wanted anything. His father said no, but Olivia said she would like a bottle of water. Grabbing one off the shelf, he carried it in to her. He watched with amusement as his father removed it from her hand and took a sip before giving it back to her.

"I thought you said you weren't thirsty" Olivia asked him, laughing.

"I never said I wasn't thirsty. Why should I have my own drink when I can just share yours?" Elliot replied with a cheeky grin.

Olivia had no response for him, but shook her head, laughing as she did so. She watched as Dickie settled himself on her loveseat, propping up his feet. She was relieved to see he was taking her advice about making himself at home to heart.

Eli sat on the floor, playing with his toys. Seeing that his little brother was occupied, Dickie took the opportunity to talk. He asked if there were any plans for the weekend, or if they would just figure things out as they went along.

Elliot and Olivia exchanged a look, unsure of how to answer him. They hadn't really planned too much ahead of time, uncertain of whether or not the teen would need to devote time to his schoolwork. So instead, Elliot asked his son what it was he wanted to do.

"I thought, if the weather held out, we could all go to the park. Maybe pack a picnic lunch."

His voice was hesitant, as though he was afraid his suggestion would be rejected. Elliot opened his mouth to answer, but it was Olivia who beat him to it.

"That's a great idea. We can take along a Frisbee or something, so you and your dad can play."

Dickie smiled, following along her train of thought.

"Actually, I brought one along in my duffel just in case."

The three were about to continue their conversation when Eli piped up from his spot on the floor. He was asking to watch something on the television. Elliot gave his eldest son an apologetic look, knowing the teen still wanted to talk. But Dickie merely shook his head, indicating everything was fine.

While Elliot was searching for something to watch, Olivia went into the kitchen to get Eli some juice and a snack. Dickie temporarily retreated to the guest room to get his backpack. He figured he would get some of his homework out of the way while his brother was watching his show.

He returned to the living room, and set his bag on the floor next to the loveseat. He found a nearby outlet to plug his laptop into. Olivia returned to the room as well, and placed a bowl of popcorn on the side table by his iced tea. He thanked her, then watched as she tended to Eli, setting the toddler up with some goldfish crackers and juice. She then took her seat next to his father, with a second bowl of popcorn. He noticed that while she had brought in another drink, they were still sharing the first bottle of water before opening the second.

Smiling to himself at their interactions, he said nothing, but focused his attention on his history assignment.

He was almost finished with the required reading and follow up questions when Eli's show had ended. He watched as Eli moved from his spot on the floor and crawled up between his father and Olivia on the sofa. He sat down between the two, resting his hands on their legs. Looking up at them, his little voice piped up.

"Dinner soon?"

Elliot and Olivia exchanged a glance, then realized they would need to figure out something. Being a Friday night, delivery times would be delayed longer than normal. They checked in with Dickie, and he requested pizza. Upon hearing the word, an excited squeak came from the toddler on the sofa. They knew he, too, was putting in his vote. Olivia made a call to a local place, and placed an order.

Once they had a delivery time scheduled, that gave them time to watch something else. Dickie put aside his history book, and moved along to Biology. He was saving his English until before bed tonight, since that assignment mainly entailed reading a few chapters of the novel he had been given.

He had just completed the last parts of his Biology work when Olivia's buzzer sounded, signaling that their dinner had arrived. He was once again amused by the interactions between the two adults as they playfully bickered over who was going to pay. Ultimately, Elliot won, but not without Olivia insisting that it would be her treat tomorrow.

Elliot took the boxes into the kitchen and set them on the counter. Then he gathered up Eli, and led him into the bathroom so he could wash his hands. By the time Dickie got to the kitchen, Olivia was cutting up a slice of pizza for Eli on a plate. She passed him a second plate, and told him to help himself to the food. He grabbed a couple of slices, and headed to the the table.

He almost forgot that he needed to replace his drink, having finished his iced tea. Then, Olivia came over to the table, and set a fresh bottle in front of him. She also set down Eli's plate, as his father and Eli arrived. Just as she was about to go back to the kitchen, Elliot placed his hands on her shoulders, and guided her to a chair. He disappeared into the kitchen, and returned a few moments later, carrying two plates.

The four of them enjoyed their meal together, sharing conversation. Soon they had all eaten their fill. It was Olivia who got up to put away the leftovers. There wasn't much left, but it would serve for a great midnight snack later should anyone get hungry.

After dinner, Dickie put away his books, and took his backpack back into the guest room. When he returned to the living room, he settled on the floor by his little brother. He spent time with the toddler, playing with some blocks.

Time passed quickly, and before anyone realized, it was time to get Eli ready for bed. Elliot gave the boy his bath, and got him dressed in his pajamas. Then they came back out to the sofa, where Eli snuggled in Olivia's lap as she read him a story. Even though this was only the second weekend he'd been to the apartment, this was quickly becoming a routine for them. Dickie observed how comfortable the three were together, but said nothing.

As in previous times, by the time she had finished reading, Eli was nearly asleep. She gave the boy a kiss atop his head, and Elliot picked him up to carry him into the bedroom.

While his father was out of the room, Dickie went over to collect his laptop. Seeing as it looked like he was about to leave, Olivia questioned him.

"Are you okay, Dickie? Where are you going?"

He paused in what he was doing so he could answer her.

"I thought I'd go in the room for a bit, until I was ready for bed. Give you and dad some privacy. I'm sure you don't want me getting in the way."

Olivia immediately got up from her seat and went over to him, resting her hands on his shoulders.

"Dickie. Stop thinking that you are interfering. It's still early yet. The three of us can all watch a movie together."

The relief that washed over the teen's face was apparent. He told Olivia he'd be right back. Taking his computer into the other room to put it away, he promptly returned. When he did, his father was sitting on the sofa once again.

The three of them picked a movie to watch, and settled in and got comfortable. As they had chosen a comedy, they all laughed together heartily as it played out on screen.

* * *

As the movie was ending, the sound of a stomach rumbling could be heard. Elliot and Olivia exchanged a look first, checking in with one another. Once they had realized it was neither one of them, they cast their glances toward Dickie. He blushed slightly under their scrutiny.

It was Olivia who spoke up first.

"Dickie, if you are hungry, there is some leftover pizza in the fridge. Or, you can make yourself a sandwich. Whatever you would like."

His eyes gave him away that he was interested, but he was still hesitant to move. She encouraged him again, and he heard the sincerity in her voice. Getting up from the loveseat, he moved toward the kitchen.

Dickie rooted through the fridge for a bit, until he found some ingredients. He was at the counter preparing his food when Olivia walked into the kitchen. He noticed out of the corner of his eye, that she had removed the hoodie that she had been wearing. She must have gotten too warm, because now she was just clad in her tank top and leggings.

She went to the fridge, grabbing fresh drinks for herself and his dad. He wasn't paying attention to her movements, and nearly ran into her. The thing was, it happened just as he was transferring a knife to the sink. He was in no danger of hurting her with it, but it was pointed in her direction as she stood in front of him. That, combined with the fact that his eyes fell upon the scar that sat just below her collarbone, triggered memories.

The knife dropped from his hand and clattered to the floor as he began to shake. He couldn't seem to pull his eyes from the scar that marred her skin. It was the first time he had seen it. He'd never known how bad the damage he'd inflicted had been that day. Her wounds from having been shot were what was at the forefront of his mind.

They both bent down at the same time to retrieve the fallen knife. Instead of picking it up though, her hand covered his. He lifted his gaze to meet hers. Despite every effort to control it, he felt tears pricking at his eyes.

"Dickie."

Her voice was soft. She could see he was struggling. She offered what she could.

"Do you need to talk?"

He nodded, his sandwich temporarily forgotten. They stood, and he followed her into the living room. Elliot, having somewhat observed their exchange, decided to give them a few minutes of privacy. He excused himself, saying that he was going to take a shower before they started the next movie.

Once he had left the room, Olivia sat next to Dickie on the loveseat. He was still shaking slightly, and couldn't seem to draw his eyes away from her scar. When he would look away, it would be to scan her face. It was as if he were searching for the faint reminder that was still present on her cheek.

"Do you need me to put the sweatshirt back on?"

Olivia put the question out there, determined to do whatever it took to make him comfortable. He shook his head, indicating that it wasn't necessary. He was quiet for a few moments, then he spoke, his voice hesitant.

"How much did I hurt you that day?"

She opened her mouth to answer, but before she could, he was talking again.

"Please, Olivia. I want the truth. Don't sugarcoat it."

His eyes flicked back and forth between her eyes, every now and then glancing down at her scar. It was as though he were trying to gauge her body language to determine whether or not she was being honest with him.

"You came to visit when I was in the hospital. You saw my cheek then, remember?"

He nodded. He remembered the butterfly bandages that had adorned her face.

"The cut on my shoulder was a little worse. They treated that using stitches that dissolved."

She paused for a moment, letting him consider what she had said.

"They say that over time, the scar should fade."

Placing her hand on his shoulder, she lowered her voice, and told him what was most important.

"Even if it didn't, Dickie. That wouldn't matter. All that mattered to me was getting you to safety."

The teen in front of her placed one hand over his mouth as he choked back a sob.

"Olivia, I can't stop thinking about that day. What if he'd have cut your throat when you told me to run and hide?"

The anguish in his eyes told her that this was something that had been bothering him for some time.

"That's a risk I was willing to take."

Her words, though stated simply, were backed by her own emotions. Though she wanted to protect him, she knew he wasn't a child like Eli. He deserved to know certain things. She would never have told him outright, but now that he was asking questions, she wasn't going to hide the truth.

Realization began to dawn on Dickie then, as he took in what she had said. He knew she meant it.

"He could have killed you. And because he used you as a shield, he almost did."

Olivia looked at him sharply. How had he known that? She didn't think that was something Elliot would have told him. The only way he could have known was if he had seen it himself. That meant – no. Her heart sunk.

Her worst fears were confirmed as he admitted to her that he hadn't stayed hidden once he'd gotten to Cragen's office. That he'd been peering through the blinds when the shots were fired. He had seen everything. It was then that the memory of his face peering down at her, along with his father's, came back to her.

She could see how he was struggling with his emotions, trying to stay strong. But they were hitting fast and hard, and it was a losing battle. Twin tears escaped from each eye, and tracked their way down his face. He hurried to brush them away, embarrassed.

Pretending she hadn't seen, Olivia wrapped her arms around him. He accepted her embrace, and leaned into it, allowing himself to be held.

After a few moments, he pulled back, feeling more composed. Then he put forth the question to her again, since it seemed like she didn't really answer him.

"Olivia, how badly were you hurt that day? I'm not talking about scars, or physical wounds – how much pain were you in?"

With that question clarified, Olivia realized what it was he was asking of her. She also knew what her answer would be.

"I had so much adrenaline running through my system, that it kept me from feeling too much physical pain."

He studied her face carefully, trying to determine if she was telling him the truth or not. When he saw that she was, he nodded his acceptance of that fact.

"The only thing that mattered to me was keeping you – and your father – safe."

She repeated her words from before, adding his father in for additional emphasis. He knew she meant what she said. He also knew, without her saying so, that she'd put herself in harm's way again to keep him, his father, or any of his siblings safe. He realized she would even do the same for a complete stranger.

He thought of her going back to work, and grew nervous. What if something happened to her again?

"Olivia?" He asked her tentatively.

She nodded at him, letting him know it was okay to continue with his question.

"You'll be careful when you go back to work, won't you? I don't want anything to happen to you."

Her answer was to enfold him into another embrace. It reminded him of when he was younger, and would worry about his dad going off to work. How he would always hug him, and tell him everything would be all right. He heard her whisper a promise to him, and he knew she would do everything in her power to keep it.

As they were separating from the hug, Elliot came out of the bathroom. He didn't pry into their conversation, but merely asked if everything and everyone was okay. When they said yes, he let the subject drop. He would leave it up to his son to come and talk to him on his own.

Dickie excused himself, and disappeared into the bathroom. He reappeared a few minutes later, and it seemed that he had washed his face. Instead of coming directly into the living room, he headed back into the kitchen to finish making his sandwich. He soon returned and sat on the loveseat with his snack, then asked what they were going to watch next.

They all agreed another comedy would be a good choice, and spent the next ninety minutes laughing together. When it was over, Olivia announced she was going to bed. Elliot agreed that he, too, was tired. Olivia passed Dickie the remote, and let him know the television was all his.

Elliot corrected her, saying it was only his until midnight – then he was to be in bed. The teen nodded his agreement. He got up off the loveseat to hug his father goodnight. Then, on impulse, he hugged Olivia, too.

Elliot and Olivia bid Dickie goodnight, and said they would see him at breakfast in the morning. They headed into her bedroom, and crawled under the covers. They spent a few minutes quietly discussing plans for the following day.

After breakfast, they would pack some things for their trip to the park. Olivia had a cooler they could take along, and they would stop at a deli for a selection of food to pack. Once the plans were tentatively made, they snuggled close together. After sharing a few chaste kisses, they quickly fell asleep.

* * *

On Saturday morning, Dickie was the first awake. He had purposely set the alarm on his phone. After she had gone to bed last night, he got to thinking, and he wanted to do something to thank Olivia for her generosity. No matter how many times she had said it wasn't necessary, there must be something he could do. He'd decided as he was falling asleep that he would get up early and make breakfast for everyone.

It took him a little bit of time to find some things in Olivia's kitchen, but once he did, he felt some of his nerves dissipate. He knew he wasn't very skilled at cooking, since he didn't do it very often. However, since he was only planning on making scrambled eggs with bacon and some toast, he figured he could manage.

When the oven was preheated, he put in the tray of bacon so that it would bake and crisp up. That was one trick he had learned watching his mother cook. Plus, it was a lot less messy than trying to fry it in a skillet.

His next step was to start a pot of coffee, in case either his father or Olivia should wake up while he was preparing breakfast. It was a different style of machine than what he was used to working with, but he was able to figure it out without a problem.

With the bacon cooking, and the coffee brewing, he moved back to the fridge. He grabbed the eggs, milk, and butter. As an afterthought, he also grabbed the shredded cheese, remembering that Eli preferred his eggs to be cheesy.

As he was about to close the door, his eyes fell on a package of baby spinach. A wave of inspiration hit him. That would go nicely in their eggs, along with some diced tomato. He knew Eli wouldn't eat it, but it would be no problem to make him a small pan all his own with just cheese.

The timer went off on the oven, and he turned the bacon. Once it was back in the oven to finish cooking, he knew he could start on the eggs. The kitchen, the whole apartment really, was starting to fill with the aromas of bacon and coffee.

Within the next ten minutes, the eggs were complete. They were sitting in their respective pans, light and fluffy. The cheese had melted. He placed a lid over each so the heat would be kept in, and moved to start on the final part of breakfast – the toast.

He had just filled the toaster with the sliced bread and pressed down the plunger when he heard the sound of a door opening. Turning toward the noise, he saw Olivia coming out of the bedroom, yawning.

"Dickie?"

She was surprised to see him standing in her kitchen. She could have sworn when she'd woken that she smelled coffee, but had written it off as her imagination.

"Good morning, Olivia. Is Dad up yet? I made breakfast."

As soon as he had spoken, Elliot appeared behind Olivia, carrying Eli in his arms.

"We're all awake."

He looked at Olivia, then said to her.

"You can have the bathroom first, I'll get Eli settled at the table."

She nodded, then disappeared into the bathroom. She emerged a few minutes later, and headed to her kitchen. Grabbing a mug off the cabinet shelf, she poured herself a cup of coffee. While she was doing that, Elliot moved toward the bathroom, ready to take his turn.

"Breakfast smells great, Dickie. I can't wait to try it. And you made coffee, too. Thank you."

Her gratitude was apparent in her voice, and it made him feel good. He knew he'd done the right thing. He nodded, then spoke up.

"Why don't you sit down, I'll bring the food over."

She initially opened her mouth to protest, then thought better of it. Taking her coffee with her, plus one for Elliot, she moved toward the table and sat down. When Elliot came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, Dickie declined his offer of help, and instructed him to sit down as well. Once everyone was seated, he began bringing over the plates.

He brought Eli's over first, setting it in front of him. Then, he carried over two plates, one for Elliot, the other for Olivia. When he returned the final time, he had two more plates in his hands. One held his breakfast, the second was a plate of buttered toast for all to share.

Once everyone was served, he took his seat. They all picked up their forks and dug into the food. As soon as she had taken her first bite, Olivia told Dickie on how good everything tasted. Elliot chimed in with compliments of his own. The teen said nothing, but his smile from their praise spoke volumes.

While they ate, they discussed their plans for the day. Both Olivia and Dickie would need to shower before they left. Olivia offered the bathroom to the teen as soon as they were done eating, saying she had a few items to find first for their day out. He agreed, and assured her he wouldn't take long.

Soon, the food had all been eaten. Olivia and Elliot were sipping the last of their coffee. Dickie went to clear the plates and clean up, but his father told him he would take care of it. So he excused himself, and went into the guest room to gather his things so he could take his shower. There had been a couple of towels placed in the guest room for his use when he arrived yesterday, so he grabbed one of those, too.

Once he had left the room, Olivia stood. She knew better than to try and clean anything up after Elliot had said he would do it. So instead she went to her hall closet, and dug deep into the back of it. After a minute, she emerged with her cooler. It wasn't particularly large, but it would work perfectly for what they needed today – holding a few sandwiches and some drinks.

She chanced a glance into the kitchen, and saw that Elliot had just about finished clearing the table. Knowing that he would not let her lift Eli yet, she couldn't offer to get the boy dressed. She went for the next best thing.

"How about I gather a few items, and get Eli's bag ready?" she asked.

At first, she thought he would say no. But then, he nodded. Grabbing the bag out of the closet, she set it on the couch. She moved first to the bedroom, to find a change of clothes. After that was done, she headed into the kitchen, and selected some snacks. She packed the items into the bag, adding a few books and a couple of toys. No sooner had she finished her task, than Dickie came out of the bathroom, dressed for the day. It was her turn to get ready.

She gathered what she needed from the bedroom, then went in to take her shower. While she was doing that, Elliot got Eli dressed for the day. Then, he asked Dickie to keep an eye on his younger brother, so he could get ready.

The teen took Eli out of his father's arms, and carried him into the guest room. Setting him in the center of the bed, he moved about the room. He got his backpack, and took everything out, save for the novel that was his English reading assignment. If he had a chance at the park today, maybe he could finish what he hadn't been able to last night.

He also grabbed the Frisbee from his duffel bag, and moved that to the backpack. If he admitted it to himself, he was looking forward to spending the day with his father and Olivia. Aside from last night's emotional conversation, where Olivia did her best to reassure him, everything had been wonderful so far. He hoped that he would be allowed to visit on future weekends.

Dickie heard his father calling his name, so he slung the backpack over his shoulder. He picked Eli up off the bed, and carried him out to the living room.

Elliot took Eli back in his arms, and instructed Dickie to get the stroller out of the hall closet. While his son was following his directions, they heard the bathroom door open. Olivia walked out, ready for the day.

Elliot, still holding his youngest son, slung Eli's bag over his shoulder. Dickie grabbed his backpack and the cooler. Olivia, knowing that come Tuesday, she'd be allowed to help more, pushed the stroller. Once they were out the door, she locked up behind them. After a stop at the deli and the store, they would be on their way to the park for a day of fun.

* * *

They had been at the park for a little over an hour. They'd found a prime spot under a couple of trees, and had set up a blanket that Elliot kept in his car. Olivia and Eli were currently seated upon it, watching as Dickie and his father tossed a Frisbee to one another nearby.

After playing for awhile, both father and son were looking to take a break. They came over to the blanket in search of something to drink.

Taking a seat on the blanket, they rested for a bit.

Olivia, on the other hand, was needing to stretch her legs. She decided she would go for a short walk, and leave the Stabler men to fend for themselves for a little while.

As she was getting up, she noticed Dickie glance in his father's direction. Her intuition told her there was something more there. She guessed that the teen wanted some time alone with his dad. So, she spoke up.

"Hey, El, can you lift Eli for me and put him in his stroller? I'll take him with me. The change of scenery will do him good."

Elliot was about to suggest that they all go and walk together, when he caught the look Olivia was giving him. He got the message. She was purposely leaving to give him time alone to talk with his oldest son.

He pulled the stroller closer, and settled Eli into it. Olivia grabbed some juice, plus a bottle of water for herself, and placed them into the cup holders by the handle. As she started to walk away, pushing the stroller, she called over her shoulder behind her.

"I'm going to head down the path a little way toward the pond. Show Eli the ducks. We'll be back in a little while, then we can all have our lunch."

Elliot nodded, and waved, watching as she left. As soon as she had rounded the bend out of sight, he focused his attention on his other son. He'd known that Dickie and Olivia had talked while he was in the shower the night before, and judging from their body language when he returned, it had been an emotional conversation. Now he figured there was something his son needed to tell him as well.

Elliot wasn't sure how to get Dickie to open up to him. He didn't want to ask what he and Olivia had talked about. That was something he hadn't even asked Olivia. The way he saw it, it was something personal between the two of them. Just when he was about to speak, it was Dickie who spoke up first.

"Dad? Did Olivia tell you what she and I talked about last night?"

He had to hide his surprise, because he couldn't believe that his son had intuited what he had just been thinking about.

"No, she didn't. And I didn't ask. Whatever you talked about, is between the two of you."

Dickie was quiet for a few moments as he considered his father's response.

"I want to tell you about it, but I'm afraid."

Elliot rested his hand on his son's shoulder. He repeated to him that it wasn't necessary to share what he and Olivia had talked about.

Dickie, rather than share all the details of last night's conversation, tried something different. He decided to tell his father what had prompted it. Taking a deep breath, he spoke of the moment he'd been in the kitchen facing Olivia with a knife in his hand. That he had seen her scar, and it had triggered memories for him.

Elliot's breath caught in his throat. He'd known that something had happened in the kitchen. He had no clue that his son had once again been facing Olivia with a knife held in his hand. No matter how benign the gesture had been this time, his heart ached at what that must have brought up for him. For that to have also been the moment he first saw her scar, made the situation that much worse.

He still didn't need to know what is was they had talked about. He trusted Olivia implicitly, and knew she would have done everything in her power to reassure his son.

"Dad?" Dickie questioned him again.

"Are you and Olivia going to be living together for good now?"

Elliot, who had been taking a sip of his drink when he was asked the question, nearly choked on the liquid. He coughed and sputtered for a moment. He got himself under control, then tried to formulate an answer. Before he could though, Dickie spoke again.

"Dad, it's okay. All of us kids have figured out that the two of you are together. We're okay with it. Especially me."

Seeing the questioning look in his father's eyes, he elaborated. In doing so, he gave away a hint of what he and Olivia had talked about the night before.

"She said she'd do it again."

He didn't have to specify what the 'it' was, they both knew what he was referring to. Taking a deep breath to try and steady himself, he continued.

"I know now it wasn't just because she's a cop, even though she'd probably do the same for anyone. She did it for us, right?"

Elliot could only nod in reply. He was having trouble finding his voice.

"I don't know what is going on between you two, and I know that is private. But what she did, dad – what she was willing to sacrifice – that tells me she really cares about you, about us."

He was quiet for a few moments, then added one final thought.

"If you had to be with someone else after you and mom divorced, I'm really glad it's Olivia."

Elliot considered what his son had said. He decided, as he had been with Kathy, he would be honest with his son as well. He knew that the time was coming that he would also have to talk with his other children as well. But given what Dickie had experienced that day, it seemed only fair that he should be first to know.

"Thank you for telling me how you feel, son."

Elliot made sure to say that first and foremost, because that was what was most important. Then he took a deep breath and continued.

"I guess you could say that Olivia and I are a couple, but its fairly recent. I haven't even taken her on a date yet, so I couldn't begin to say if we'd move in together permanently."

Dickie accepted his words, and nodded. He appreciated that his father was being honest with him. He was a bit surprised to learn that they hadn't been on a date yet. Kathleen had suspected that they'd been dating since their parents separated, and at the time, her theories made sense.

Now though, it seemed as though that day had served as the catalyst for other things as well. Besides changing his views of the work his father and Olivia did, it appeared that it was what had brought the two partners closer together.

Then, Dickie decided he would ask what had really been on his mind. He was scared to pose his question, but knew that if he didn't, it wouldn't leave him alone.

"Dad?"

He waited until Elliot was looking at him once again. Once he was certain he had his father's full attention, he spoke.

"You know how I asked you earlier if you were going to be living with with Olivia on a permanent basis? There was a reason for that."

Elliot became concerned. Was his son truly bothered by the fact that he and Olivia were sharing the bedroom, and only now speaking up? He needed to get to the bottom of this.

"Do you want me to move out of Olivia's? Find a place of my own?"

He posed those too questions to his son, but before he could answer, he added something else.

"Olivia meant it when she said you could tell us if you were uncomfortable with the fact we were sharing the bedroom."

Dickie immediately assured his father that wasn't the case. That he meant it the night before when he said he had no issues with the sleeping arrangements.

"No, Dad. What I wanted to say is -"

He stopped talking, temporarily losing his nerve. He took a deep breath and exhaled, and with it, expelled the words he'd been trying to say.

"I want to come and live with you."

If Elliot was surprised by his son's admission, he didn't let it show. Instead, he focused on his answer.

"That is something I'd have to discuss with your mother."

Dickie felt a surge of relief flood through him. His dad hadn't said 'no', which had been his biggest fear. He wasn't sure how to explain it, but he simply felt more comfortable right now when he was around his father, and by extension, Olivia. Maybe it was because of what had happened that day. That the situation had brought them closer. It wasn't that he was intentionally shutting his mother out, but he simply couldn't talk to her about it the way he could with his dad.

He was almost done with high school. He only had two months left of his junior year, then his senior year to finish out. Even if his father remained in Manhattan, he'd be able to commute to his private school. Yes, he'd have to get up a little earlier in the mornings, but it would be worth it.

Dickie was about to start rattling off his reasons and justifications to his father, along with promises that he would be on his best behavior. Elliot stopped him quickly, and tried to calm him down.

"Take it easy. I'd love to have you with me full time, if that is what you want."

He paused for a moment, seeing that the teen was starting to breathe easier. Then he continued.

"All I said was, we'd need to talk to your mother about it. It's not a decision I can make by myself. If for some reason I do end up staying with Olivia, we'll need to involve her, too."

Seeing that his son was still hesitant to believe how sincere he was, he added one final bit.

"I will mention it to your mother when I see her on Sunday, okay?"

His son's reaction was a good one, and he found himself nearly tackled in the process. He was glad that Dickie was talking about his feelings, and not holding them in. That was a trait of his that he hadn't wanted to pass on to his children.

Father and son separated from their hug, and saw Olivia approaching them with Eli. She soon arrived back at their blanket. Once Eli saw his father and brother, he immediately began chattering to them about the ducks he had seen.

Elliot took Eli out of the stroller, while Olivia seated herself on their blanket once again. She asked if everyone was hungry, and was met with three resounding replies of 'yes'.

Opening the cooler, she began to take out the food. Their trip to the deli this morning ensured they had an assortment of sandwiches. Plus they had stopped at the store, and picked up some macaroni salad, chips, plus the necessary paper plates and plastic utensils.

Conversation came to a halt for a bit, as everyone was too busy eating all the delicious food. Soon, nothing but wrappers and empty containers remained. Dickie gathered all their trash, and deposited it in a nearby can.

Still on the blanket, Eli pulled a book from the bag, and handed it to Olivia. She obliged, reading the story to him while he cuddled up to her. By the time she had finished, the boy was dozing lightly in her arms.

Elliot scooped him up, and laid him in the stroller. He'd noticed the clouds looming overhead. Though he hated to cut their day short, it was time to head back. He didn't want to get caught in the rain. Dickie was grabbing the bags, while Olivia folded the blanket.

They made their way back to the car, and loaded their things as quickly as possible. With a stroke of luck, they had made it back to Olivia's apartment and had just gotten inside the security door before the first drops of rain began to fall.

* * *

After they got back, Eli was put down for his afternoon nap. Dickie helped Olivia put things away. Then he retreated to the guest room for a few minutes. He shed the jeans he had been wearing in favor of the more comfortable sweatpants he'd worn around the apartment and even slept in the night before. He also changed from his polo shirt to a tee emblazoned with one of his favorite bands.

Grabbing up his laptop, he headed into the living room. He made sure to take his headphones with him, too. He wasn't sure what his father and Olivia planned to do, and didn't want the volume of the computer to interfere.

He found his father seated on the sofa, flipping through the television channels with the remote. Coming across a baseball game, Elliot left it on the screen.

Olivia, who had also changed clothes, padded through the living room on her way to the kitchen. Once there, she took a bottle of Tylenol out of the cabinet. Grabbing a bottle of water, she swallowed two tablets.

Coming back to where Elliot and Dickie were, she announced something.

"If the two of you don't mind, I think I'm going to lie down while Eli takes his nap."

Concerned, Elliot asked if she was feeling okay. Dickie's ears perked up at this, and he too was worried now. Was something wrong? Had she been feeling ill all day, and gone on the picnic anyway, just to make him happy? He waited for her response.

"I just have a headache. Must be from the weather. Nothing for either of you to worry about."

After she gave her answer, she turned toward the bedroom. The door was closed behind her, to keep the sound of the television muted. Dickie watched his father carefully, trying to get a read on his body language. Unable to tell what he was thinking, he asked his question aloud.

"Dad? Do you think she was telling the truth? Is it really just a headache?"

Elliot could tell by his son's voice that he was worried about Olivia. He knew he had to do his best to reassure him.

"She'll be fine. She promised me that she'd always be honest with me when she wasn't feeling well, and I believe her."

He let the words hang in the air for a moment, then added.

"I'll check on her in a little while."

That made Dickie feel a lot better. He put his headphones and laptop aside for the time being. Moving from the loveseat over to the sofa where his dad was, he sat down and propped up his feet. Together, they settled in to watch the game.

Ninety minutes later, the baseball game was in its fifth inning, and Eli was calling out for his Daddy. Elliot got up from the sofa, and went in to get him.

As he pushed open the bedroom door, he noted that the blinds had been closed to keep the room as dark as possible. Olivia lay on the bed, tangled among the covers. He noticed that even in sleep, her brow was furrowed, as if she were in pain.

Stepping closer to the bed, he placed his lips to her forehead. She stirred under his kiss, and her lashes fluttered open.

"Hey. How are you feeling?"

He kept his voice soft, in case she still had her headache. Instead of giving him a verbal answer, he only received a small moan in response. She stretched gingerly under the covers, and tried to turn over. Her hand flew up to hold her head.

"Olivia? What's wrong?"

Elliot tried his best to keep the panic out of his voice, but some was starting to creep in nonetheless. Though the pain in her head was still intense, she knew she had to calm him. As it dawned on her what it was, she didn't want to say. He would only blame himself.

"If I tell you, do you promise not to feel guilty?"

Upon hearing those words, something clicked for Elliot. This headache must be a secondary effect to the concussion she had sustained that day several weeks ago. They had thought she had been spared most of the more severe symptoms, as she had been in the coma while recovering.

Suddenly, this headache made more sense. It would go away on its own, she just needed to rest and sleep it off. He would still try and make her as comfortable as possible, though. Realizing that she was still waiting for his response, he hurried to answer her.

"You don't have to tell me, Liv. I figured it out – it's from your head injuries, right?"

At her nod, he sat on the bed with her for a moment. Reaching out to lightly brush her hair off her face, he asked her something.

"Do you want an ice pack for your head? The cold might help."

She nodded again. He asked her if she'd mind if he asked Dickie to bring it, and she said that she didn't. He called out to his older son, who appeared in the doorway in seconds.

"Dad? Olivia? Is everything okay?"

His voice showed traces of panic.

"Everything is fine, Dickie. Olivia still has her headache, that's all. Could you do her a favor, and grab an ice pack from the freezer, please?"

The teen dashed off in the direction of the kitchen to do as he had been asked. He found the ice pack as quick as possible, and took it to his father.

Uncertain whether Olivia would want him invading her personal space, he paused at the door, and held the ice pack out toward his father. Olivia had opened her eyes a sliver for a mere moment, and saw this.

"You can come in, Dickie. Thank you for getting that for me."

At her words, he stepped over the threshold into the room. He wanted to help more. After he asked her where she wanted the ice pack, he noticed she lifted her head ever so slightly. Slipping it under her head, he situated it so that it rested on the back of neck. The sigh of relief that escaped from her lips when the coolness reached her was audible to the whole room.

From his crib in the corner, Eli called out again. Taking initiative, Dickie knew what he could do.

"I'll take him out to the living room, Dad, and watch him for awhile. You can stay here and take care of Olivia."

That said, he went over to the crib, and scooped up his little brother. As he started to leave, he paused at the door and called over his shoulder.

"I hope the ice helps your headache, Olivia."

She thanked him, and he left, closing the door behind him. Elliot moved to the opposite side of the bed, and slid in next to her.

"Am I going to bother you if I lay here with you?"

He wanted to be sure to ask her, because he knew sometimes when headaches were severe, all a person wanted was to be left alone.

"Stay."

He turned on his side, facing her. Seeing that her face still looked pinched and drawn, he decided he would try something. He moved his fingertips up to her forehead, and began to trace light circles there. He watched as her facial features relaxed under his touch. He alternated between tracing the circles on her forehead, and stroking his fingers down the sides of her face. Soon, her breathing evened out as she drifted back to sleep.

He lay next to her, and soon found himself getting drowsy too. Knowing Eli was in good hands with his brother, he saw no harm in taking a short nap. He shut his eyes, and draped his arm over Olivia's waist, holding her close.

* * *

When Olivia woke up, she found that the painful throbbing in her head had finally gone away. She tried to move, but something was pinning her down. It was Elliot. His arm was wrapped around her. While she normally would protest this in other relationships, having Elliot hold her like this made her feel safe without feeling smothered.

She rolled over, and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Watching as he stirred slightly, she kissed his lips next. A smirk appeared that he couldn't hide, even though he feigned sleep.

"I know you're awake. You're just pretending to be asleep so I'll kiss you again."

His eyes remained closed, but he mumbled something nonetheless.

"Is it working?"

She pressed another kiss to his lips by way of an answer.

"It will always work. And for future reference, you don't need to pretend to be asleep to get me to kiss you."

"Noted."

Eyes open now, he pulled her close. They spent a few minutes cuddling under the covers. Soon, he broke the silence.

"How are you feeling?"

"Much better. I think the ice pack really helped. So did you."

He told her he was glad that her headache was gone. Mutually, they agreed to get up and go check on the boys. Even though they knew Dickie would have things well in hand.

When they got to the living room, they found both Eli and Dickie sitting on the floor, playing with blocks. A cartoon was playing on the television behind them. It also seemed that Dickie had seen to getting his younger brother some juice and a snack.

As soon as he saw Olivia, Dickie felt relief. He watched as she returned the ice pack to the freezer, then got herself a drink from the fridge.

"Are you feeling better, Olivia?"

He couldn't help but ask. His nerves were still there. She had looked so uncomfortable before.

"I'm fine. My headache is completely gone."

Even though he'd heard her use what his dad called her 'signature' words, he could tell she was being genuine. Plus the color was back in her face. She was smiling again, too.

"Can I ask you two something?"

At his question, both adults focused their attention him. His question surprised them. They were expecting something much more serious.

"Can we order Chinese for dinner tonight? I know we had take-out for lunch, but -"

Olivia interrupted him.

"Dickie, it's fine. Chinese sounds good, actually. Plus, I don't think anyone feels like cooking anyway."

Elliot agreed with her. When it got closer to dinnertime, they would place an order. He knew Eli wouldn't care for their meal choice, but he could easily find something to make for his youngest.

Everyone returned to their respective seats in the living room. Eli's cartoon was still playing out on the television. Dickie, after first asking for permission, put on his headphones for a bit and spent some time on his computer.

Elliot wrapped his arm around Olivia as they sat on the sofa together. She tucked her legs up to the side, and leaned her head against his shoulder.

The sound of a ringing phone echoed through the room. It was Elliot's. Seeing Kathy's name on the display, he was quick to answer it. After seeing her the other day, he hadn't expected to speak to her until he saw her on Sunday.

Once he knew it was his mother on the phone, even Dickie pulled his headphones off. He wanted to know what was going on, too. His father didn't seem upset or angry, so the conversation must be going well.

A few minutes later, Elliot placed his palm over the mouthpiece, and spoke to Olivia.

"Kathy is meeting friends for lunch tomorrow in the city. She offered to pick Eli up after, and save me a trip to Queens. Do you mind if she stops here?"

Olivia understood now the reason for the call. Things between her and Kathy were still somewhat tense. Other than the fact she had been unfairly using the children against Elliot, she harbored no ill will towards the woman. She knew that even that wasn't being done intentionally, which is why she had gone to talk to her in the first place.

Focusing her attention back on the matter at hand, she gave Elliot her reply.

"I don't mind at all."

Dickie, having figured out what was going on, chimed in.

"Dad, what about me, will I go back home with Mom then, too?"

Elliot smiled, and hoped he was about to make his son happy.

"Did you forget that you had Monday off from school? Mom said it's okay with her if I don't take you home until Monday evening."

Dickie set his computer aside, and nearly jumped off the couch in his excitement.

"Really? She said that? I'd love to!"

He took a breath, then remembered something.

"What I mean is, would it be okay with you if I stayed over an extra night, Olivia?"

"Of course."

She didn't even stop to think about it, her reply was instantaneous. Elliot went back to his phone call and explained the situation to Kathy. They agreed she would call him tomorrow after she had finished her lunch, so he could have Eli's things mostly together. With the arrangements settled, they ended the call.

Dickie was buzzing with excitement. A whole extra day with his father and Olivia. Given what they had talked about at the park this morning, it was almost a dream come true. Speaking of which, he hoped his father wouldn't forget his promise. Would he still be able to talk to his mother if she came here to pick up Eli? He was worried for a minute, then relaxed when he realized that the conversation just might be moved to Monday instead. His dad would have to drive him back to Queens, after all.

Olivia had an idea, but she wasn't sure if it would be accepted or not. It wouldn't hurt to suggest it, though.

"Dickie? What would you think if instead of watching a movie here tomorrow night, we went out to a theater instead?"

Watching the expression on his face, and unable to tell if his reaction was good or bad, she quickly added.

"If you'd rather just do something with your father, I can stay home."

Again, she was offering to remove herself from the situation so he would be comfortable. He was quick to let her know that wouldn't be necessary.

"No, I want to go out with both of you. Actually, and I know it's too late to do something this weekend, but could we all go to a baseball game sometime?"

This time, it was Elliot who responded.

"Absolutely. We can invite your sisters too. Then if you want, we can do another game where it's just us."

Dickie smiled. His dad had understood just what he meant. It wasn't that he was trying to exclude his sisters, but sometimes it was nice to feel special.

Now that plans were being set in motion for tomorrow, he decided he would help out. He began searching on his computer for possible movie selections and times. Since they tended to favor comedies when sitting around at Olivia's, they all agreed to find another genre. There was an action movie out that Dickie was interested in that none of his sisters or friends wanted to see, and when he suggested the title, both his father and Olivia said it sounded interesting.

Elliot looked at the clock, and realized it was almost past dinnertime. He went into the kitchen, and found the menu for a Chinese restaurant he and Olivia ordered in from often. While they both had their favorites, he figured his son would want to look at it. He also dug through one of the kitchen cabinets, and found a box of macaroni and cheese to make dinner for Eli. He set a pot of water on the stove to boil.

Dickie made his choices, and Olivia placed the call. She already knew what Elliot would want. Once the order was placed, and the delivery time scheduled, she hung up.

In the kitchen, the water was at a rolling boil. Adding the dry pasta, Elliot set the timer so that it could cook. When the timer went off, he drained the pasta, and stirred in the cheese sauce. Dishing some up in a bowl, he set it on the table to cool slightly while he took Eli in to wash his hands.

Eli ate his dinner with his father sitting with him at the table. When he was done, his face was covered in cheesy sauce. He'd even managed to get some in his hair. Rather than try to clean him up with a cloth, Elliot decided it would be easier to just give the boy his bath a little early tonight.

Unable to understand time, Eli thought it was time for a story when he got out of the bath. He crawled into Olivia's lap with a book, asking to be read to. She gladly obliged. Surprisingly, even though it was an hour earlier than his usual bedtime, the boy was almost asleep by the time she had finished reading. Elliot picked him up and carried him in to bed. As he tiptoed out of the room and turned off the light, he shook his head. He knew he'd be up extra early the next morning to compensate for tonight.

* * *

Dickie awoke the next morning, used the bathroom, then returned to the guest room. He crawled back under the covers with the English novel he'd been meaning to read all weekend.

Before opening it, his mind drifted back to the night before. Once Eli had gone to bed, their Chinese food had arrived. They had sat around the living room, eating directly from the cartons.

The memory was a good one. One of many he had from this weekend. He considered putting off his reading, to go and make breakfast again. But, he heard movement out in the kitchen, and knew that someone was already awake. Plus, he really needed to finish this. Cracking open the book, he found where he'd left off, and began to read.

Out in the kitchen, Elliot had just started a pot of coffee to brew. Surprisingly, Eli hadn't been awake at the crack of dawn this morning. His youngest son and Olivia were both still sleeping soundly in the bedroom.

He decided he would make pancakes for breakfast this morning. Part of him would have preferred to make waffles, but Olivia didn't own a waffle iron. Maybe that was something he needed to purchase. He shook his head, trying to get rid of the thought. Ever since Dickie had asked him yesterday if he and Olivia were going to live together permanently, it's all he had been able to think about. He just hadn't found a way to broach that subject with her yet. Plus, he still needed to talk with both Kathy and Olivia about what his oldest son had said about coming to live with him.

He shook his head again. Why would he need to talk to Olivia about that? Was he really considering making their living situation permanent? He realized that he was. The thought of moving out – going to sleep and waking up alone – scared him. Even though he and Olivia had only been sharing a bed 'officially' for a span of a few days, he had quickly grown accustomed to it.

Trying to drive those thoughts away for now, he focused his attention on the matter at hand. He got all the ingredients necessary to assemble the pancake batter. Once it was mixed, he heated a griddle pan on the stove and melted some butter.

Soon, he was turning out fluffy pancakes onto a platter. He placed it into the heated toaster oven to keep them warm while he made more. Hearing footsteps behind him, he turned around.

Dickie appeared in the kitchen, and headed for the refrigerator. He bid his father a good morning as he helped himself to a glass of orange juice. Elliot asked him if he would go and wake Olivia and Eli up, as breakfast was nearly ready. Dickie was startled by this, but moved to do as he was asked.

When he reached her bedroom door, Dickie knocked on it lightly. There was no answer. He knocked again, this time a little louder, and called out her name.

"Olivia?"

This time, a voice called out in response.

"You can come in, Dickie."

He opened the door, still wary about intruding into her personal space.

She was sitting on the end of the bed, talking to Eli, who was standing up in his crib.

"Dad said to tell you breakfast is ready."

She gave him a smile. Then gestured toward the toddler.

"I'm glad you're here. Do you think you could carry Eli out for me? I'm still not allowed to lift him."

He nodded his agreement, and seeing as he had her permission, stepped into the room. Picking up his brother, he carried him out to the kitchen. Olivia followed behind them, stopping by the bathroom along the way.

She met the Stabler men at the table. A cup of coffee was waiting for her at her seat. Elliot was bringing over plates of pancakes for everyone, along with a bowl of fresh fruit for those who wanted it.

They ate breakfast together. Eli, as always, managed to get more syrup on his face and hands than he did in his mouth. After they were all done eating, Olivia grabbed a cloth and cleaned him up. Dickie moved in to help after, lifting the toddler and carrying him into the living room.

Once the dishes were cleared and put in the dishwasher, Elliot and Olivia joined Dickie and Eli. The mood was a little somber this morning, as they all knew Kathy would be arriving in a few hours to take the younger Stabler home. Dickie, on the other hand, was looking forward to later this afternoon. He would get to go out, by himself, with his father and Olivia. As a child of five, and especially being a twin, one-on-one time was rare. Even at the age of seventeen, he still appreciated it.

Dickie retreated into the guest bedroom, and returned with the novel he'd been reading. While he'd managed to read a good amount before breakfast, he still had a couple of chapters to go. With the television off, he knew he'd be able to concentrate sitting out here.

Elliot and Olivia were seated together on the sofa, sharing the newspaper. Eli was on the floor, surrounded by his toys. The young boy babbled to himself as he played.

Looking up from his book, Dickie glanced in the direction of the two adults. There was something he wanted to ask, but he was nervous. Fighting down that anxiety, he went ahead and posed the question.

"Dad, Olivia, we're still going out later, right?"

At their simultaneous nod, he continued.

"Do you think we should get the tickets ahead of time? I don't know how crowded it's going to be, and I really don't want to miss this movie."

In response, Olivia reached for her phone that was sitting on the coffee table. She found the movie theater, and confirmed the movie's title with Dickie. Once the three of them agreed on a time, she secured three tickets, entering her credit card information. A few seconds later, her phone signaled with an alert of purchase confirmation.

"All set. We have our tickets." She announced.

"Thank you, Olivia." Dickie said, his voice full of gratitude.

"Yes, thank you Olivia."

This time it was Elliot who spoke, and his voice held a note of something else. If she had to guess, she'd say it was exasperation. Probably because she had paid for the tickets. Her suspicions were proven correct with the next words out of his mouth.

"You know this means I'm paying for dinner and popcorn, right?"

"It's not a contest, Elliot."

He conceded that fact, and apologized. Thanking her again for buying the tickets, he pulled her toward him in a half hug. She rested her head against his shoulder, and wrapped an arm around his waist.

Olivia noticed that Dickie was watching them intently, and pulled away from Elliot. She realized that was the most affectionate they had been with one another in the teen's presence. They had shared a few kisses behind closed doors, but made sure to keep things between them platonic when his children were around. This was the first inkling any of them had seen of their burgeoning relationship.

"I'm sorry, Dickie. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

He waved her off with a quick motion of his hand, and tried not to laugh. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate her concern, but it amused him that they both thought he couldn't see what was really going on. Despite all their efforts to hide it, he could read the chemistry between them. Nevertheless, he still answered her.

"You didn't make me uncomfortable at all. I don't mind if the two of you hug in front of me."

* * *

He left it at that, even though part of him wanted to say more. While he had told his dad some of his feelings yesterday, he didn't know what his father had shared with Olivia. He didn't want to speak out of turn and embarrass himself by admitting to her that he didn't mind if they were together. Maybe it was because he was afraid it would make her change her mind. After all, it wasn't as if she would just be dating his father all by himself. He came with five kids. He didn't want to anything to mess things up for his dad.

A moment of silence had followed Dickie's statement, but it wasn't awkward. It was broken when Eli crawled up on the sofa between Elliot and Olivia, asking to watch some cartoons. Dickie retreated to the guest room for a bit, so he could concentrate on his reading while his little brother watched television.

As the show played out, Elliot and Olivia continued to share the newspaper, swapping out sections every now and then. Eli continued to sit between them, his attention focused on the television. When the show had ended, he announced that he was hungry.

Before they could discuss what to do by way of lunch, Elliot's phone chimed with a text message. It was from Kathy, stating that she had just arrived at the restaurant to meet her friends. Since she wouldn't be getting to Olivia's for awhile yet, she asked that Elliot feed Eli his lunch and see that he got his nap.

Since they were planning on going out to dinner after their movie later, lunch was going to be a simple affair. Eli still had some macaroni and cheese leftover from last night's dinner, so Elliot said he would heat that up for him. Olivia suggested they use up some of the ingredients in the fridge and make salads or sandwiches.

Once the show had ended, Elliot carried Eli into the kitchen to heat up his lunch. Olivia turned toward the guest room. The door was open, but she knocked on the frame anyway. Dickie, having finished his book, was lying on the bed using his laptop. At the sound he glanced up to see the source of the noise, and waved her in.

"Oh. Hi, Olivia. This is your home, you don't need to knock."

"And while you are a guest here, this is your room. You are entitled to the privacy that comes with it. I promise to always knock on your door, just like you knock on mine."

He nodded his agreement. What she said made sense.

"Did you need something, Olivia?"

"Yes. I wanted to know what you'd like for lunch. I'm going to be making some salad, but you can also have a sandwich if you'd like."

Dickie considered her offer. He wasn't a big fan of salads, even if his sisters were.

"Thank you, but I think I'll just make myself a sandwich, if that's okay."

"That's perfectly fine. Come out to the kitchen and help yourself whenever you are ready."

He finished up what he was doing on the computer, closed it, and set it aside. Then he went to the bathroom to wash up. When he got to the kitchen, Eli was already seated at the table eating.

After cooking breakfast for everyone the day before, and being here the whole weekend, he was quite comfortable in Olivia's kitchen. He grabbed what he needed for his sandwich, then headed to the counter to fix it.

He worked side by side with Olivia, as she prepped salads for herself and his father. They finished their work at about the same time, and carried their food over to the table.

As they ate, Dickie talked to them about the book he had been reading. He also assured his father that he had completed all of his assigned homework for the weekend. Olivia chimed in then, reminding Elliot that they had seen him working on the majority of it Friday night.

When lunch was finished, Dickie offered to clear the dishes. Olivia accepted his help, and headed into the living room. She knew Eli would want a story before taking his nap. Elliot carried the boy in to her, and placed him in her lap. When she was done reading, he picked the drowsy toddler up to carry him in to the bedroom.

"Hey El?"

He paused, and turned to look at her.

"Why don't you put him in my bed this time? That way, you can pack up his crib and other things while he sleeps."

He nodded. It was a good idea, although he hated the thought of his son leaving. Carrying him into the bedroom, he lay him in the center of the bed, and propped pillows all around him as an added barrier.

Moving about the room as quietly as possible, he began to gather and pack up Eli's things. Even though it was only the second weekend they had done this, it was always the hard part. Maybe, he really should talk to Olivia later about moving in together. If they were to get a three-bedroom apartment, they could put in a toddler bed for Eli in one of rooms for whenever he came to stay. The spare room could be used for his other kids, as he hoped Dickie would want to visit more in the future.

Then he remembered Dickie's request about wanting to live with him on a permanent basis. Maybe they would need a four bedroom. Would Olivia consider buying a townhouse with him? He knew she wouldn't want to leave Manhattan, she'd want to stay close to work.

His head was swimming. What was he thinking? He'd somehow gone in his mind from having a discussion with Olivia about moving in together, to them buying a townhouse. He needed to slow down, or he was going to scare her off. Plus, he wasn't even officially divorced yet. There was still about two more weeks before the decree was final.

Pushing those thoughts aside for now, he carried the bags out to the living room and put them by the door. He also remembered to get the stroller out of the closet, too.

He looked around the room, and wondered where Olivia had gone. Checking the guest room, he found Dickie, tapping away on his computer.

"Have you seen Olivia?"

"Yeah, Dad. She's in the shower. She went in the bedroom about ten minutes ago to get her things. Didn't you see her then?"

Elliot paused at his son's words. Olivia had come into the bedroom? Had he been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed her? He inwardly hoped that he hadn't been talking aloud to himself. Anxiously, he waited for her to return, so he could apologize.

The sound of a door opening drew his attention. He turned toward the noise, and saw Olivia. Her hair was still damp from the shower, but she was dressed in jeans and a lightweight sweater.

He couldn't help himself, and despite Dickie being nearby, rushed to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Olivia, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have ignored you."

Olivia was startled by the hug, but returned the embrace. She didn't know what had prompted it, or what had caused Elliot to be so upset, but wanted to reassure him.

"El, it's fine. I could tell when I came in the room that you were preoccupied. I wasn't offended. It's not the first time one of us has been distracted and not noticed the other."

Elliot released her, realizing he had overreacted. She was right, after all. It hadn't been the first time something like that had happened. On the job, it was a common occurrence, especially when they were knee-deep in evidence and details trying to solve a case.

Dickie asked if he could shower next, breaking the awkward silence. Both Elliot and Olivia said that was fine, and he gathered his things. Once he disappeared into the bathroom, the two adults were left alone. Olivia used the opportunity to question Elliot about his earlier reaction.

"El? Is everything okay? You didn't seem like yourself before."

He assured her that he was fine, but did let her know there was something on his mind he wanted to talk about. When she pressed him further, all he said was it was something they'd have to talk about later when they were alone. She nodded, and let the subject drop.

Taking his hand, she led him over to the sofa. They sat down together, and cuddled close. His arm was around her shoulders, and she was leaning against his chest. But there was nothing inappropriate about their embrace, should Dickie emerge from his shower sooner than they had anticipated. Olivia just knew that Elliot needed to be close to her for the time being. Truth be told, she needed it, too.

Several minutes later, Dickie left the bathroom. Seeing his father and Olivia together on the sofa, he opted to leave them alone for awhile. He retreated back to the guest room. As he got settled again on the bed, and reached for his computer, he smiled to himself. He couldn't wait to tease his sisters with the knowledge he had. Granted, he knew that his father would probably sit them all down together soon. But for just a little while, it would be nice to know something ahead of time. Then again, maybe he wouldn't say anything, he thought. It was kind of nice having a shared secret with his father and Olivia.

* * *

Time passed quickly, and soon Elliot's phone rang. It was Kathy, letting him know that she would be leaving the restaurant soon. She was also calling to confirm Olivia's address and apartment number. Once the details were ironed out, she ended the call, saying she would be there shortly.

As if on cue, Eli called out from the bedroom. Elliot went in to get him, before he could start exploring. When he was on his way, he stopped and knocked on the guest room door. He told Dickie that his mother was on her way, so that he could talk to her while she was there. The teen put aside his computer for the time being, and made his way to the living room.

It was about ten minutes later, the buzzer rang throughout the apartment. Olivia pushed the button, letting Kathy in the security door downstairs. When there was a knock on her door shortly after, she went to answer it.

"Kathy. Come in."

She stepped aside, allowing the other woman to enter the apartment. She gestured toward the living room, offering her a seat. Then, she asked her if she'd like something to drink.

"No, thank you, Olivia."

Kathy declined the offer, but accepted the invitation to sit down. Eli, upon realizing his mother was there, ran to her. She scooped him up in her arms. She'd missed him while he was away. Even though she'd known he was in good hands.

Eli was so excited, and chattered happily. It was hard to understand everything he said. The adults were able to catch snippets here and there, though. They deciphered that he was talking about all the animals he had seen during Friday's trip to the zoo.

"You took him to the zoo?"

Kathy's voice was wistful. She would have loved to have seen that. Realizing now that sometimes such firsts would be separate. Maybe not. Maybe they could still find a way to share such things, even if they were divorced. It was Olivia who broke the silence.

"I took plenty of photos, Kathy. We both did. We'll gladly share them."

She'd caught the look on the woman's face, and had correctly intuited what she was feeling. Taking out her phone, she quickly scrolled through the photos she had taken that day. Making sure to include a few from their time at the park as well, she sent them to the woman sitting on her sofa. Elliot did the same.

When she saw the pictures, Kathy couldn't help but smile. She'd known that Elliot would take care of Eli when she'd consented to let him stay for the weekend. But seeing the pictures, she realized that these types of weekends needed to happen on a regular basis. Or even longer visits. She reminded herself to have a talk with Elliot when he brought Dickie back home tomorrow about amending the custody arrangement. He deserved to see his children.

"I don't want to be rude, but I really should get going"

Kathy made the announcement, starting to stand. She had Eli in her arms. Elliot agreed, knowing that she had to leave. He took Eli from her so he could hug his son goodbye. While he was doing that, she turned to address Dickie.

"Are you sure you don't want to come home with me today?"

He looked almost appalled at the very thought. Shaking his head, he assured her.

"No. I want to stay. I'll see you tomorrow, Mom."

He gave her a hug, though, and thanked her for letting him stay longer. He was hesitant to say anything about their plans for this evening, but figured his father would mention it anyway.

Elliot let go of Eli, and passed the boy to Olivia, who was still seated on the loveseat. The toddler hugged her too. If Kathy was surprised by the affection her youngest son had for the other woman, she didn't let it show.

"I'll help you get everything to your car." Elliot said.

True to his word, he began to reach for bags.

"Let me help, too."

Dickie also offered, reaching for the bags his dad was initially going for. This freed up Elliot's hands so he could carry the heavier items. Kathy picked Eli up and placed him in the stroller so she could push him to the car. She and Olivia exchanged farewells, and she led the way out of the apartment, with Elliot and Dickie behind her.

Olivia closed the door behind them. She left it unlocked, as she knew Elliot and Dickie would return shortly. Since the three of them planned to leave soon for their movie, she headed into the bathroom so she could finish getting ready. She needed to blow dry her hair and also wanted to put on a touch of makeup.

Elliot and Dickie were standing on the street. They had just finished loading the bags into Kathy's car. Eli was seated safely in his car seat.

Dickie hugged his mother one final time, and retreated back toward the building. That left his mother and father alone for a few minutes.

"I'll bring him back home tomorrow afternoon, okay?"

He put his offer out there, searching her eyes for the answer.

"That's fine Elliot. Will you be able to stay for a little while when you drop him off? There is something I want to talk to you about."

He nodded. Told her that it wasn't a problem, that there was something he needed to talk to her about, too. He hoped that they had turned a new leaf, and that communication between them would be easier from now on.

As she got in the car, he closed her door for her, and watched as she drove off. Only when she was out of sight did he turn away to walk back toward the building. Joining Dickie at the door, he let them in with his key, and they made their way back upstairs to the apartment.

When they got inside, they didn't see Olivia. But Elliot heard the sound of the hair dryer, so he figured she was in the bathroom getting ready. He told Dickie that he was going into the bedroom to get dressed, and that they would leave soon.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, they were on their way. Since where they were headed wasn't too far away, they had decided to walk. When they got to the theater, Olivia showed the attendant at the box office the tickets on her phone, and they entered the lobby.

Their first stop was the concession stand, where Elliot made certain to remind that it was his treat. Dickie selected popcorn, some candy, and a soda. After a brief exchange with Olivia, and learning that she wasn't interested in too much, he ordered a medium popcorn and large drink for them to share. Dickie, upon hearing this, smiled, but quickly hid it before his father could see.

After their snacks were paid for, they moved into the auditorium and found seats. Each of them made sure that their phones were silenced, so they wouldn't interrupt the movie.

Shortly after, the lights dimmed and the previews began, they all sat back to enjoy the show. Once they were in the darkened theater, Elliot chanced to take Olivia's hand in his. She let him, and they would only let go from time to time to grab a handful of popcorn or to take a drink. Otherwise, they kept close contact throughout the entire movie.

Dickie, who had been sucked into the action on screen from the opening credits, had paid no heed to his father and Olivia. He had been so enthralled by the film that he had barely even finished his popcorn. His candy went untouched and would be saved for later.

When the movie had ended, and the lights came back up, they stood to leave. As they walked to a nearby restaurant for dinner, Dickie talked the entire way. Even after they had been seated, he still continued to monopolize the conversation. Neither Elliot nor Olivia minded in the slightest. They were glad to see him happy.

They each placed an order, and enjoyed a wonderful dinner out together. Dickie, who finally stopped talking about the movie long enough to eat his meal, thanked them for everything. He was reaching for the dessert menu to take a look at it when Olivia suggested stopping for ice cream on the way home.

It was both father and son who liked that idea equally. Elliot paid the bill, and left a tip on the table. Then they all stood to leave. As they were heading to the ice cream shop, Dickie lead the way.

With his son walking ahead, Elliot took advantage of the opportunity. He held Olivia's hand as they walked. She initially tried to resist, uncertain of such an open gesture of affection in front of one of his children. Then she relaxed, and fell into step beside him.

When they arrived at the ice cream shop, a block away from Olivia's apartment, it was exceedingly crowded. There was hardly any place to sit. Olivia suggested they get their orders to go, and carry it with them. Elliot and Dickie agreed with her.

They each placed their orders, and waited while their respective choices were scooped and packaged. The staff working there was kind enough to include some spoons in the bag, too. Before he had a chance to, Olivia paid for their dessert and grabbed the bag to carry it. Elliot said nothing, but shook his head. Dickie thanked her for the treat.

Once they arrived back at Olivia's, she put the ice cream in the freezer. They had all mutually agreed that they wanted to get changed into comfortable clothing. Dickie disappeared into the guest bedroom.

Elliot and Olivia went into her bedroom, where he grabbed what he needed, then headed in the bathroom to change. She had said it was okay if he stayed in the room, even reminded him of the fact they often would change clothes in front of one another at the station. But he insisted on giving her privacy.

Soon everyone had donned their respective pajamas, and met in the living room. Olivia retrieved the ice cream from the freezer, while Dickie selected something for them to watch. She brought the whole bag in, figuring it could serve double purpose and hold their trash when they had finished.

Dickie had selected another action movie, starring one of the actors from the one they had seen at the theater. They each grabbed their dessert and a spoon, and settled into their respective seats. Elliot and Olivia were on the sofa, and Dickie on the loveseat.

When the movie had ended, it was nearing ten o'clock. Olivia stood, and announced she was going to bed. Both of the Stablers agreed with her, saying they were tired, too. It was Dickie who gathered their trash and took it into the kitchen to throw away.

As he came back into the room, he bid his father and Olivia goodnight. They said the same back to him. He went into the guest room and shut the door.

After taking their turns using the bathroom, Elliot and Olivia headed into her room. They slid under the covers, and turned to face one another. Knowing he needed to talk, Olivia waited for him to open up to her.

She didn't have to wait long.

"Liv? There was something Dickie said to me at the park today that I need to talk to you about."

She said nothing, but placed her hand on his arm, indicating that she was listening.

"He asked if we were going to be living together permanently."

If she was shocked by the statement, she didn't let it show. Elliot went on, in detail about the conversation he'd had with his son. Once he saw that she wasn't appalled or disgusted by the suggestions that had been made, he went a step further. He told her about the thoughts that had crossed his own mind earlier today when he was getting Eli's things together.

She listened until he had said his piece, and only when he was done, did she speak.

"El, I know I shouldn't. I know it seems to be too soon, but I feel the same way."

Her voice was soft, but he still heard every word she said. He held his breath, for fear he was imagining things.

"I've grown accustomed to having you around all the time, too. The thought of you moving out on your own bothers me more than I can say."

She went on to say that she, too, had considered the fact that they would need more space. Eli couldn't stay in that crib forever. The toddler barely still fit in it as it was. If they had a bigger place, he could have his own room.

They talked late into the night. As it was approaching one in the morning, Elliot stopped.

"Liv, I'm sorry, you wanted to go to bed hours ago."

"Don't worry about it El, you are more important to me. I'll always have time to talk to you."

He pulled her close into an embrace.

"So we're doing this? We're moving in together?"

She took a deep breath, then nodded.

"We are."

"And what about other steps in are relationship? We haven't -"

She put her hand on her mouth to stop him mid-sentence.

"I think you should maybe take me on at least one date first, don't you?"

Her smile was mischievous.

He was instantly contrite.

"Liv, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

Again, she stopped him. She told him that she had only been kidding. Told him that she wanted to be with him, too. Reminded him that had they not been interrupted by the arrival of Dickie the other day, they might have taken things a few steps further. She also pointed out that, at least until Tuesday, she had been restricted from certain activities.

"Wednesday night, I want to take you out."

He saw her raise her eyebrows, and knew he had to clarify.

"No ulterior motives, Liv. Honest."

He licked his lips, then continued.

"I know it's late, but I'll look into getting us theater tickets. Seeing as its the middle of the week, I should be able to find something."

He went on to add that he would also take her to dinner. As he had promised her before, they would go to the bistro she so loved. He made certain she understood that these plans were his way of showing gratitude for everything she had done for him. Welcoming his children into her home, giving him a place to stay all this time. He also promised that many more dates were to come.

She agreed to go out with him, then yawned despite herself. The night was catching up with her. Her yawn was contagious. Feeling relieved that he had told her all that was on his mind, he knew now he'd be able to sleep. Pulling her close into his arms, they snuggled together. The last thing they promised one another before drifting off was when they were out on Tuesday for her appointment, they would pick up some real estate information to start looking at new places.


	12. Appointments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. I own nothing.

Elliot awoke Monday morning, and had a sudden craving for bagels. Finding Olivia still asleep next to him, he decided he would go out to the nearby bakery to get some breakfast for everyone.

He slid out of bed carefully, so as not to wake Olivia. Unfortunately, when he moved, she stirred. She moaned, and reached both hands toward her head. Concerned, he sat back down on the edge of the bed and reached toward her.

"What's the matter, Liv? Is it your head again?"

She could barely manage a nod by way of response.

"Can I get you anything?"

He thought he heard her mumble the words 'ice', and 'Tylenol'. He hurried to the kitchen. He grabbed an ice pack, a bottle of water, and two tablets of pain reliever from the cabinet.

When he got back to her, he helped her sit up so she could take the medicine. Then, he got her situated back against the pillows with the ice pack. Covering her back up, he made sure she was as comfortable as possible.

"I was just heading out to pick up some bagels for breakfast. Can I get you anything?"

He kept his voice to a whisper, not wanting to increase her pain. At first, he thought she would refuse. Finally, she answered him.

"Blueberry muffin please. I'll eat it when I get up later."

He nodded, then placed a tender kiss against her forehead. He was glad she had an appointment the following day. Even though she'd told him not to be worried, he couldn't help it. The fact that she'd had such severe headaches so close together had him concerned.

Pausing at the guest room door, he looked in on Dickie before he left.

He was surprised to find him awake. He told his son of his plans, and offered him the chance to join in on the walk. Dickie asked if Olivia was coming along, too. When Elliot informed him that she was in bed still, and not feeling well, he saw the worry cross his son's face.

"She has another headache?"

Elliot confirmed that fact, and let his son know that he'd already done his best to make Olivia comfortable. She just needed to sleep the pain off.

Dickie nodded, then asked his father to give him five minutes to get ready. They soon left the apartment together, and walked down the block to a favorite bakery of Olivia's. It was the same one Elliot had stopped at to buy her things when she had been in the hospital.

They entered the bakery, and were welcomed by the smells of all the fresh baked goods. Elliot selected a variety of bagels, knowing they would work for tomorrow's breakfast as well. He then remembered a blueberry muffin for Olivia. Dickie also selected something sweet.

After paying for their purchases, they grabbed the bags, and walked back to the apartment. Elliot put on a pot of coffee, while Dickie took the cream cheese from the fridge, and started digging through the bags. Elliot wasn't in as much of a hurry for food. He wanted to go and check on Olivia.

When he reached the bedroom door, he pushed it open and peered inside. Olivia was laying on her side, facing him. Her eyes were closed. From where he was standing, it seemed as if her facial features were relaxed. He hoped that meant the medicine was working.

Satisfied that she was comfortable, he turned around and headed back out to the kitchen. Dickie was seated at the table. He had a bagel, doughnut, and glass of orange juice in front of him, but had not yet begun to eat.

"Is everything okay? Why aren't you eating?"

He questioned his son, worried that something was wrong.

"Everything's fine, Dad. I was just waiting for you."

Touched, Elliot moved to put his bagel in the toaster. While he was waiting for it, he poured himself a cup of coffee. By the time he had finished, the bagel was ready. He carefully removed it, and slathered it with cream cheese. He carried his plate over to join his son.

As they ate together, they didn't really talk much. It was evident to Elliot that Dickie had something on his mind. He decided that after they were done, he would try and draw it out of him. He wouldn't force the boy to talk, but it couldn't be good for him to keep it locked inside.

When the last bites had been taken, Elliot stood. He refilled his coffee, and carried it with him into the living room. Dickie followed. It was as if he knew his father wanted to talk.

* * *

Father and son both found seats on the sofa, facing one another. Elliot placed his mug on the coffee table. Not wanting a distraction, he opted to leave the television off for the time being. Just as he was trying to figure out how to begin the conversation, Dickie spoke up first.

"Dad, I'm worried about Olivia. This is the second bad headache she's had in just a few days."

Elliot took in what his son was telling him. His suspicions were correct, after all. How could he allay his sons fears, when he was worried about that same thing? He decided, as had become his new policy, he would simply be honest.

"I'm worried about her too. But she has an appointment with the doctor tomorrow. I'll be sure that she mentions it."

He went on to remind his son that while the headaches were severe, she'd had no other symptoms. She hadn't been nauseated or dizzy, or complained of blurred vision. He'd no sooner finished his explanation when Dickie had another question for him.

"This is because of what happened that day, isn't it? The blows she took to the head."

As much as it pained Elliot to admit it, he did. He was worried it would only upset his son further. Instead, the boy quickly came to his defense.

"You know this isn't your fault either, right Dad? He made you do those things."

His son took a hurried breath, then added.

"He hit her, too. Harder than you ever did – and you only did it because you were trying to save me."

They both grew quiet, each lost in their respective memories. When the silence was broken a few minutes later, it was Dickie who spoke.

"Dad?"

His voice was hesitant. Elliot said nothing in response, just gave him time.

"Is there any way I could – I mean I think maybe I should – I think I need to talk to someone about that day. A professional, I mean."

It was a struggle for him to get the sentence out, but once he did, he sighed in relief. It made Elliot wonder just how long he'd been holding it in. He felt guilty. How long had he been lost in his own nightmare, that he could have missed that his son was suffering, too?

He knew he had to handle this situation carefully, without showing judgment of any kind. Looking his son directly in the eye, he promised he would find someone for him to talk to. He even stated that he would be seeing Dr. Huang the following day, and would ask the man for recommendations. Someone appropriate that the teen would feel comfortable talking to.

"Dad?"

His eyes met his son's again, curious to know what the next question would be.

"Did you talk to a psychiatrist about this stuff, too?"

Wow. What a loaded question. How to tell his son that he'd been avoiding it? That when it came to this, Dickie was proving to be the braver of the two of them? Facing his fears, where Elliot still couldn't manage to do so? Again, he decided to be completely honest.

"No. I haven't."

"Can I ask why not?"

Elliot took a deep breath. He'd been preparing himself for that. He just hoped Dickie would understand his answer.

"Because I've been too scared."

He elaborated a little, telling his son more. He didn't go into all of the details, but did share the fact that he was still bothered greatly by that day. He wanted his son to know that he wasn't alone. He told his son that he'd had some nightmares. That the memories would creep in when he least expected them to.

After listening to his father's story, Dickie had yet another question. For the most part, their conversation had proven how much the boy had grown, showing his maturity as they talked about their shared experience. Now, it was his youthful innocence that was apparent.

"Is that why you started to share a bed with Olivia, to keep the nightmares away?"

Elliot could only nod. There was so much truth in that statement. At least it had started out that way. The first night she had offered for him to share her bed, had been to give him comfort after a nightmare. Then it gradually became habit. Now, there wasn't anyplace else he could imagine sleeping other than next to her. Even though that is the most intimate they had been with one another, besides the kisses they'd shared.

Sensing that the topic had gotten too heavy for his son to handle, Elliot opted to change the subject. Before he could, though, his son had one final request to ask of him.

"Can you do me a favor, Dad?"

He waited for his father to nod, then continued.

"Will you talk to mom about my wanting to see someone? I can't talk to her about this yet."

Elliot's heart ached. It pained him that his son felt like he couldn't go to his mother about this. He hoped that it wasn't because of what Kathy had told him she'd done in the hospital. True, she should not have reacted that way, but she was operating on base emotions that day, just like everyone else.

"Of course, I'll talk with your Mom about it. But you should talk to her, too. She's been worried about you."

Dickie agreed, and said he would talk to her soon. He didn't mean to worry her. Sometimes it was just easier for him to talk about this with his father, because he'd been there that day, too.

With that said, the subject was dropped. Knowing they wouldn't find anything on the television to watch right now except for talk shows, they tuned in to the streaming service. Instead of a movie, they found a sports documentary that appealed to them both.

* * *

Olivia awoke in the bedroom, and glanced over at the clock on her nightstand. It was nearing eleven in the morning. She couldn't remember the last time she'd slept so late. Her head felt better, she just felt a little off now. It was hard to describe. Maybe she'd feel better after a cup of coffee. She definitely wanted a shower. She could still feel the last traces of the headache lingering on her body, and she couldn't wait to wash it off.

Knowing they had no plans to go anywhere, she opted for comfort. She selected a pair of drawstring pants, along with an oversized tee shirt that she suspected at one time had belonged to Elliot. Then she padded into the bathroom. Elliot and Dickie were so engrossed in what was on the television screen that they didn't even notice her.

The documentary was nearing its end when Elliot swore he heard the shower start up. Glancing over his shoulder down the hall toward the bedroom door, he saw it was open. He hoped that meant Olivia was feeling better.

He temporarily paused the show, and went into the bedroom for a moment. Collecting the ice pack from where it lay on the bed, he returned it to the freezer. While he was in the kitchen, he started some fresh coffee brewing. He'd only made a small pot earlier, and it was almost empty.

Then, knowing Olivia would likely protest at being fussed over, he returned to his seat. He restarted the show, and settled back in to finish watching with his son. Dickie had moved from where he was sitting on the sofa to the loveseat, to allow a spot for Olivia next to his father.

The documentary had ended, and they were searching for something else to watch when Olivia headed into the kitchen. They decided they would wait for her. She joined them a few minutes later, a cup of coffee in one hand, and her blueberry muffin in the other. She greeted them both, and when they asked her if she was feeling better, she assured them that she was.

As they were getting ready to choose something else, Elliot's phone chimed with an incoming text message. It was from Kathy. Dickie grew nervous, worried that his mother wanted him home sooner than planned. That wasn't the case. Instead, she was inviting Elliot to join the family for dinner this evening when he brought their son back home. Knowing that he had several things to discuss with her, he decided he would accept. First, he made sure Olivia was okay with it.

"El, it's fine. I've told you before. You don't need my permission to spend time with your family."

He wasn't entirely convinced. Plus he was still worried about her.

"But what will you do for dinner?"

"Believe it or not El, I did live alone for awhile before you started staying here. I can manage to get my own dinner for one night."

He flushed, realizing he was overreacting. Of course, she could take care of herself. Picking his phone back up, he sent a return message, letting Kathy know that he and Dickie would be there for dinner. His phone chimed a second time, confirming receipt of the message, and that she would see them both later.

Before they could get back to discussing what to watch, Olivia's phone rang. This was the most active their phones had been in a short span of time since they had last been at work. Seeing that Cragen was calling, she answered quickly.

The call was kept brief, as the Captain relayed to her the message from the district attorney. Olivia asked a few questions, which only made Elliot more curious. She gave him a look, letting him know that she would fill him in as soon as she was done. Judging by the expression on her face, the call seemed to be delivering positive news.

"Thank you for calling Captain. Yes, I'll be in tomorrow to see Huang. I'll stop and say hello to everyone then. Goodbye."

As she ended the call, Olivia stood. She took a few steps, then turned to face Elliot. He too stood up from his spot and went to meet her.

"Well? What is it?"

He tried not to sound anxious, but couldn't help himself. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Dickie sitting on the edge of the loveseat. He too, was awaiting the news.

"Cap just heard from Paxton. Stevens accepted the plea bargain. There isn't going to be a trial."

Elliot stood in place for a moment, shocked by the news. Then, as relief and joy kicked in, he couldn't help himself. He picked Olivia up in his arms, and whisked her off her feet. Spinning her around in the air before setting her down again, he let out a whoop. She had wrapped her arms around him and laughed as the weight fell off her shoulders, too.

When her feet were once again on the ground, she continued to explain.

"He's going down for the rapes he committed, plus everything that day at the precinct – holding Dickie hostage, assault, attempted murder"

She took a breath as she rattled off the laundry list of charges against the man who had caused them so much grief. They were still in the midst of their celebration, when Dickie spoke up.

"He's going to jail? Without going to court first? Does this mean I won't have to testify?"

The tone of his voice was a mixture of relief, and something else. Elliot would almost guess disappointment. Perhaps his son was looking forward to facing up to the man who had caused so much of his trauma. Now, he wouldn't get that chance. While he was grateful that Dickie would be spared a trial, was that necessarily a good thing?

"That's right, son. It means he admitted to being guilty. You won't have to go to court."

Dickie considered his father's words, then added.

"It's not that I'm not happy about it, I am. I'm glad he's going to jail. But how is he going to know that I'm not afraid to face him again?"

Before he could move there himself, Olivia was at his son's side. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Exchanging a look with Elliot, she asked him a question without using words. As though reading her mind, he nodded. Olivia then addressed Dickie.

"What if we petition the judge, and see if you can speak at Michael Stevens sentencing?"

Dickie turned his head sharply to look at her. He'd be allowed to do that? Seeing she had his attention, she continued.

"Considering what he did to you, you were a victim. You'd be allowed to address him in open court."

He looked from Olivia to his father. Elliot nodded, confirming what Olivia had said. He then posed a question to them both.

"Will each of you be speaking?"

Instinctively knowing Olivia's answer, Elliot replied for each of them.

"We will."

"I want to speak, too, then."

Elliot assured his son he would do everything in his power to make it happen. If for some reason he couldn't speak out in person, he would see to it that a written statement could be read. One way or another, Dickie would be able to have his say.

* * *

After that bit of news, the rest of the day had everyone in good spirits. Around lunchtime, they had heated up the leftover Chinese food from the other night. All too soon, it was nearly time to go.

As Dickie was packing his things, all he could think about was that he didn't want to leave. He hoped that his father would keep his word about talking to his mother. Even if for some reason, he wasn't allowed to move in with his father and Olivia on a permanent basis, maybe they could arrange longer visits.

He paused as he was putting his laptop in his backpack. It dawned on him that he'd just referred to them as a collective unit in his mind. Rather than feeling strange, it almost seemed natural.

Once everything was packed, he shouldered his backpack and lifted his duffel. He carried them out to the living room, where his father was waiting for him. Olivia was there too, ready to say good-bye. While he would have been too shy to when he first arrived, he thought nothing of giving her a hug. She wrapped her arms around him, welcoming the embrace. She also whispered in his ear, words just for him.

"I hope you had a good weekend. Remember that you are welcome here at any time."

He thanked her. Once he had pulled back from the hug, he had one final question for her. Taking his phone out of his pocket, he held it out in her direction.

"Olivia? Would it be okay if I had your number? I promise not to bother you too much."

She took the device out of his hands, and entered her information into his contacts. Handing the phone back to him, she told him he could call her at any time, for any reason. With a final goodbye, he stood by the door to wait for his father.

Elliot stepped closer to Olivia. He reminded her that she wasn't to skip dinner just because he wasn't around to share the meal with her. Wrapping his arms around her, he enfolded her in an embrace. Then, even though his son was watching, he placed a chaste kiss on her forehead before he turned to leave.

After they had gone, Olivia shut and locked the door behind them. Not in the mood to watch anything on television, she picked up the book she'd started during her time off. Making herself comfortable on the sofa, she settled in and began to read.

The drive to Queens was an uneventful one, as Elliot had planned ahead. He'd timed out when they left, so they could avoid as much traffic as possible. To occupy himself on the drive, Dickie put in his earphones so he could listen to some music of his own choosing. Elliot used the quiet time to plan ahead in his mind what it was he planned to say to Kathy. There was a lot he needed to talk with her about today. He hoped she would be in a receptive mood.

Before he even realized it, he was pulling up to the house. Getting out of the vehicle, he asked his son if he needed any help with his bags. Dickie declined the offer, already halfway up the walkway. Kathy, having heard the car, met them at the door.

She greeted her son first, then Elliot. It seemed to him she was in good spirits, so he hoped any conversations tonight would go smoothly.

"You're earlier than I thought you'd be. Dinner isn't quite ready yet. We're still waiting on Maureen and Kathleen to arrive."

Elliot nodded. As he made his way further into the house, Liz came out to see him. She hugged her father, apologizing for not having been able to come and visit this weekend. She'd had an academic meet for school that she'd needed to attend as part of a grade.

Before Elliot had a chance to respond, Dickie answered for him. He told his twin of their father's promise of an upcoming baseball game. She immediately grew excited, and asked a question right away.

"Will Olivia be joining us, too?"

Her voice was hopeful, as though she wanted the other woman to come along. It warmed Elliot's heart to know that another of his children would be accepting of Olivia's presence in his life. Before he could answer his daughter, another voice chimed in.

"Of course Olivia is joining us, Liz. Where else would she be, other than by Dad's side?"

Elliot turned to find Kathleen standing behind him, Maureen right next to her. Despite her words, they both were smiling, so he knew she was only teasing.

Kathleen focused her attention on her younger brother, determined to grill him for information.

"You were with them all weekend. Tell us. What's really going on between Dad and Olivia?"

While he always felt a connection with his siblings, this time his loyalty was to his father. He wasn't going to tell what he knew.

"That's for Dad to tell, not me."

Letting the subject drop, he moved to carry his bags upstairs.

Before she could question her father further, Kathy asked for everyone to come to the table. Elliot scooped Eli out of the playpen, and called up the steps to Dickie. He followed his daughters into the dining room.

As he sat at the table with his family, Elliot felt a bit wistful. Since the separation, this is what he missed the most. Even though now that his older daughters weren't home as much, and activities often kept them from sitting down together for a meal. He hoped that despite the impending divorce, he and Kathy would continue to stay amicable with one another. He didn't want these family dinners to dissolve the way their marriage had.

Conversation throughout the meal was kept light. Dickie did talk some about the weekend he and Eli had shared with their father and Olivia. He kept details to a minimum, leaving his sisters wondering about the true state of the partners current relationship.

Even Eli contributed, and talked about his time with his Daddy. While he didn't understand the concept of what a zoo was, he told everyone that he'd seen a bunch of different animals.

Near the end of the meal, Kathleen once again ambushed her father with questions he wasn't ready for. At least not in front of Kathy.

"So, Dad, are you ever going to tell us what's really going on between you and Olivia? Or even what the sleeping arrangements were this weekend?"

Elliot nearly choked on his mouthful of food. He coughed and sputtered for a bit. Taking a drink of water to try and clear his throat, he took a minute to compose himself. He glanced across the table. First he met the eyes of Dickie, who smiled at him. It seemed he was encouraging him to tell, and that he didn't mind if it was no longer their shared secret.

Next, his eyes fell upon Kathy. He tried to decipher what she was thinking. There was a resigned look upon her face, and she nodded. She too, wanted to know.

Now Elliot found himself in a dilemma. Should he tell? He and Olivia hadn't really discussed disclosing their relationship to anyone publicly yet. But this wasn't a public declaration. This was his family. Plus, just the night prior, he and Olivia had agreed to move in together. He took a deep breath, and began to talk.

He left out the more intimate and private details, but simply stated that he and Olivia were, in fact, together. That it was a recent development, only within the last few weeks while she was recovering from her injuries. He did however, say that they had grown accustomed to each others company during the time he had been staying with her. That, combined with the fact that he would be needing additional space for his kids to come and visit, prompted their decision to consider moving in together on a permanent basis.

When he'd finished speaking, there was silence around the table for a few moments. He wasn't sure how to take it. Then, of all the people present, it was Kathy who broke it.

"Thank you, Elliot, for your honesty. I believe you when you say that nothing ever happened between you and Olivia while we were married."

She took a drink from her glass, then set it down again. Licking her lips, she continued.

"What you went through that day could have either driven the two of you apart or brought you together. For both your sakes, I'm glad for the way things turned out. I wish you both happiness."

Upon seeing and hearing their mother's response, Elliot's other children chimed in with their own opinions. All of them were positive. He already knew Dickie's point of view on the subject. His son was the one who had practically given him the idea to ask Olivia to move in with him after all.

Soon, the dinner dishes were cleared. Maureen and Kathleen excused themselves, saying they needed to get back to campus. They both needed to study. They said their goodbyes and drove off.

The twins were the next to leave the table. They cleared the dishes first, then came back in to say goodbye to their father. Then they headed upstairs to their respective rooms.

That left Elliot and Kathy alone, save for Eli. Knowing that he wanted to talk, she suggested that he follow her into the living room. She set Eli up so that he could watch something, then sat down on the sofa. Facing her soon to be ex-husband, she wondered what was on his mind.

* * *

He began the conversation by way of an apology. He hoped that she hadn't felt ambushed. While he knew he'd need to tell her what was going on with Olivia, he certainly hadn't planned on doing so over dinner tonight.

"It's alright, Elliot. But tell me this? I know you told me you weren't when we met the other day. Are you sleeping with her now?"

He initially blanched at the question. Then, he realized her reasons for asking. Where their situations reversed, he might ask the very same thing.

"I told you the truth the other day. The most we've done is kiss."

He paused, and decided he would be honest with her.

"Since that day, I've suffered terrible nightmares. Olivia found out about it, and invited me to share her room."

Seeing the look of doubt cross Kathy's face, he hurried to explain.

"She thought, and rightly so, that if I woke up with her next to me, it would put me at ease. Much better than waking up thinking the worst had happened."

He paused, allowing her time to digest the information. He saw the moment when it registered.

"You've been dreaming that she died, haven't you."

"Every time I'd fall asleep. It only stopped when I started sleeping next to her."

Kathy relaxed then. She didn't expect him to not be intimate with Olivia, it's just that it would have hurt to find out he couldn't even wait for the ink on their divorce papers to be dry first. Yes, she was also dating someone, but they were taking things slowly.

She posed her next question then.

"And you're really going to move in with her?"

"Not until the divorce is final. I'd like more room for when the kids visit, and I can't afford that on my own. Plus -"

He cut himself off, unsure if he should say what he was thinking. It turned out, he didn't have to finish, because despite their impending divorce, Kathy could still read some of his thoughts.

"You've gotten used to living with her, and don't want to live alone."

She finished his sentence for him. Unable to find the words, he merely nodded in agreement.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, watching Eli as he watched his program. After a while, Kathy spoke again.

"That's not all, I can tell. There's something else."

Elliot took a breath and held it. This is what he was dreading telling her. The part of how his son had requested to live with him full time. That and how he had asked to see a psychiatrist.

"It's about Dickie."

Again, it was as though she had intuited what he was going to say. With tears welling in her eyes, she reached for his hand.

"He wants to live with you, doesn't he."

"How did you know?"

Upon confirmation that she was correct in her guess, the dam broke. Tears began streaming down her face. She told Elliot what had prompted her to say that. How Dickie had grown distant at home, staying in his room more and more. That no matter how much she tried to, she couldn't get him to talk to her.

As much as he didn't want to, because he didn't want to break Dickie's confidence, he knew what must be done. He had to tell Kathy about what had happened this weekend.

"There was an, um, 'incident', this weekend...with Olivia."

"What happened?"

Elliot related to her what he knew of the situation. How Dickie had been in the kitchen preparing himself a snack, and suddenly found himself pointing a knife at Olivia. How that had been the precise moment when he saw the scar he'd inflicted for the first time.

Kathy covered her mouth with her hand. She felt so bad for her son, and the fact that he wasn't letting his father help much, either. Then Elliot said something that gave her hope.

"He talked to Olivia about it, though. When I came out of the shower, I saw them hugging. Whatever she said must have helped."

Before she could say anything else, he added one final thing.

"He also asked me if I could find him a psychiatrist."

Now, Kathy felt herself flooded with relief. Even if her son wouldn't talk to her, he wanted to get help. And, evidently, he was able to talk to Olivia. While part of her felt jealous, she was grateful to the woman for being there to provide support.

"How does Olivia feel about Dickie coming to live with you?"

Elliot could tell that Kathy secretly hoped Olivia would be opposed to the idea. Not for selfish reasons, but she just wasn't ready to let her son go. But ultimately, she would do what was best for him.

"She told him, multiple times, over the course of the weekend that he was always welcome. As he left, he asked for her phone number, and she gave it to him, saying he could call her at any time."

Kathy nodded. Again, she was filled with gratitude for Olivia. Not only had she saved Dickie's life that day, but she just kept saving him.

She was quiet for a few moments, as she considered all that Elliot had told her. When she spoke next, it was to offer a compromise.

"I don't know about having him live with you full time. But what if we extend his visits to trading off every two weeks?"

Elliot agreed that would be a good start. Then just when he thought the heavy topics of conversation were over, Kathy asked him something else.

"Elliot? What are you going to do about work?"

He froze. How could he possibly give her a reply to that when he didn't even know the answer himself. To make matters worse, she followed it up with an addition question.

"Won't it be difficult to be in a relationship with Olivia and working together?"

It took him a while, but he managed to find his voice.

"I don't know if I'm going back, Kath. I don't know if I can."

For a moment, the only sound in the room was coming from Eli's cartoon. Both adults were silent. Then Elliot spoke again. His voice was hoarse, like he was struggling not to cry.

"I shot my partner."

Unable to remember a time when she'd seen him so emotional, Kathy pulled him into an embrace. She, like everyone else, could never have imagined a time when Elliot would have given up his badge. But maybe he'd finally reached the breaking point.

"Whatever you decide, you have my full support."

Much like when Olivia had told him something similar, he appreciated hearing those words more than he could ever say. Taking a few minutes to compose himself, he suggested that perhaps he should be going.

* * *

Kathy offered to let him stay a little longer, to help with Eli's bath and bedtime routine. Then, they could talk to Dickie together about what they had discussed. If all was agreeable with Olivia, they could work out an arrangement as soon as possible.

Elliot let himself back into the apartment. It was nearly ten, later than he'd intended. After getting Eli to bed, he and Kathy had sat down with Dickie to talk to him. While he was initially disappointed that he couldn't live with his father full-time, he liked the new arrangement. Plus, they had told him they would be open to further discussions down the road about his living situation.

Dropping his keys off on the table by the door, he looked around. The apartment was silent. A light had been left on for him in the kitchen, other than that, it was dark. Glancing down the hallway, he saw the bedroom door was closed. This worried him. Was Olivia mad at him? Should he have called to say he'd be late?

He headed toward the bedroom. He was debating whether or not he should take the guest room for tonight, but didn't want to go to bed without seeing her. Taking a deep breath, he put his hand on the door. At this point, he realized that it wasn't latched, it was just pushed partially closed.

Easing the door open, he found Olivia sitting up in bed, reading. She turned her head toward the source of the movement in her peripheral vision. Seeing him, she smiled in greeting.

"You're back. Did everything go okay at dinner?"

He was surprised by her question. Her voice was genuine. There was no suspicion in her tone whatsoever. If situations had been reversed, and he had arrived home late to Kathy after spending an evening going over cases with Olivia, he'd have gotten the third degree. That had especially been the case toward the end of their marriage. He thought yet again about how much better he and Kathy were getting along now. Granted, he had Olivia to thank for that. Shaking his head, he realized that she had questioned him yet again.

"Elliot. Did you hear me? I asked if everything went okay at dinner."

"I'm sorry Liv. Dinner was nice. It was great to see all the kids together."

He then walked over to sit on the bed beside her. She closed her book, and moved it to the nightstand, giving him her full attention. Sensing that what he wanted to talk about was serious, she offered a suggestion.

"Why don't you get changed, then come to bed? That way we can be comfortable while we talk."

Ten minutes later, he was crawling under the covers next to her. They rolled on their sides so that they were facing one another. Olivia placed her hand on his arm in a show of support, as her eyes searched his face. When she spoke, her voice was soft.

"How did things really go tonight, El? How was your conversation with Kathy?"

She knew. He didn't know how she did, but she knew. Someway, somehow, she had figured it out. He was grateful. It saved him from having to explain.

Nevertheless, he did explain. A part of him felt like he'd betrayed her trust by telling his family about their relationship. She said nothing, but gave him a nod of approval. He also told her about the agreement he and Kathy had come to regarding Dickie. Olivia's only reaction to that was to remind him that it was a good thing they had decided to look for a bigger place together. With Eli visiting often, and Dickie staying with them on an extended basis, they would need the extra rooms.

Elliot rolled over onto his back, pulling Olivia with him so that she lay against his chest. There was something else bothering him, she could tell. She didn't have to wait long before learning what it was.

"I also told Kathy tonight that I didn't know if I'd ever go back to work."

They were both quiet for a few moments, until he spoke again.

"I think when you go in to the precinct tomorrow, I'm going to see if Huang has some spare time to talk with me, too. I can't keep putting it off."

Olivia moved so that she could press a kiss on his cheek. Holding him tighter, she spoke words of encouragement.

"That's a good place to start, Elliot."

He told her then of the talk he'd had with Dickie, how he had mentioned wanting to see someone. He wanted to be there to help his son. To do that, he first needed to help himself.

Spent from an evening filled with emotional conversations, Elliot was ready for sleep. He set the alarm for the following morning, so they would make it to Olivia's appointment on time. Then, holding her close, he allowed himself to drift off to sleep.

* * *

Olivia's doctor was running late. There had been an emergency earlier this morning, and it had caused his appointment times to be pushed back somewhat. She hadn't wanted to reschedule, though. She needed this appointment today, it was the only way she'd ever get cleared to resume normal activities.

Elliot offered to go and get them coffee while they waited, but she declined. She was still wired from the cup she'd had before they left her apartment. Combined with the anxiety she was already feeling about this doctor visit, it was not a good mix.

Olivia startled when she heard her name called. Standing to go and meet the nurse, she looked over her shoulder at Elliot.

"Come with me?" she asked softly.

He didn't need to ask her if she was certain. It was written all over her face. He rose to follow her. The nurse led them back to an examination room, where she took Olivia's vital signs. Then she left them alone, saying the doctor would be with them shortly.

Elliot sat in the chair next to the exam table. He noticed that Olivia was twitching her leg nervously, and gently laid a hand on it to get her to stop.

"Liv, relax."

Relaxing under his touch, she let herself be calmed by his voice. She was glad that she had swallowed her pride and asked him to come back with her. Before she could say something to him, there was a light knock on the door, then it opened.

"Good morning Detective Benson, Detective Stabler."

The doctor entered the room, shaking hands with them both. He went to the desk, and opened Olivia's file. Scanning through it briefly, he asked her a few questions.

"This is a post surgical visit for you, correct? And you're also here to be reinstated to your duties at work?"

Olivia nodded. She hoped there wouldn't be any issues.

The doctor put the file to the side, and stepped closer to the table. He gave her a brief exam, then asked her to lie back. Pulling her shirt up so that her torso was exposed, he checked to see how her incisions were healing. Satisfied with their progress, he lowered the shirt once more.

Moving to grab the proper form that would release her back to work, he started to fill it out. Then seeing that Olivia wasn't going to say anything, Elliot spoke up.

"Wait, Liv – what about your headaches?"

The glare she shot in his direction gave him chills. But he shrugged it off. All that mattered was that she was healthy. He could handle her being mad at him.

"Headaches? What kind of headaches are we talking about?"

The doctor was equal parts curious and concerned. Olivia gave him a description of what she'd experienced over the weekend. Setting down his pen, he stepped close to her once again. He shined a light in her eyes, and had her perform a few simple tasks.

"I don't think it's anything to worry about, most likely a secondary result of your concussion. To be on the safe side, I'm going to schedule you for a CT scan, to be sure there isn't anything we've missed."

With that said, he handed her the order for the test. While she had feared this would delay her return to work, he gave her that form, too. She was limited to desk duty for the time being, but she was allowed to go back.

With the forms in her hand, she and Elliot made their way to the exit. Since the doctor's office was in the hospital, they stopped at Radiology on their way out. Olivia was pleased to learn there had been a cancellation on Friday morning, and they were able to fit her in then. She hadn't been looking forward to a lengthy time waiting to have the test done.

After that was taken care of, they headed toward the precinct. Olivia had called ahead while they were waiting earlier, and informed Huang that she would be running behind. He'd told her that his schedule was open all day, and to just come to his office whenever she arrived.

Elliot pulled into the precinct parking lot, feeling nervous. It was his first time back here since that fateful day. How would he feel walking into the squad room, seeing the spot where Olivia had fallen and lay bleeding under his hands? Shaking those thoughts aside for now, he hurried to fall in step beside her as she walked toward the building.

They waited outside Huang's office. He had stepped out for a moment, but his secretary said he would be back shortly. No sooner had she spoken, than the psychiatrist made his appearance. He greeted both Elliot and Olivia warmly. As he gestured for Olivia to precede him into his office, Elliot stopped him.

"Doc? Do you think you could spare some time to talk to me when you're done speaking to Liv?"

"Of course, Elliot. Like I told Olivia earlier, I'm free all day."

With that said, he went into the room and closed the door, leaving Elliot alone with his thoughts. Part of him considered going up to visit Cragen and the others, but somehow he knew his first time back in that squad room, Olivia had to be by his side.

* * *

Olivia took a seat on the sofa, declining Doctor Huang's offer of something to drink. Even though he was acting in a professional capacity with this visit, he wanted to keep her comfortable. He didn't want to sit opposite her, and have her feel like he was staring her down, scrutinizing her every sentence. So instead, he chose to sit on the opposite side of the sofa, keeping the interaction as casual as possible.

"Before we begin, Olivia, how did your doctor's appointment go this morning?"

Olivia explained that she had been cleared to return to work, even if it was just desk duty for the time being. Then she paused, biting her lower lip.

"What is it, Olivia?"

Huang had picked up on her body language immediately. He knew something had gone amiss at her appointment, and she would be hesitant to say what it was.

"Elliot. He mentioned something at the visit today. Because of that, I have to have more tests done."

She let out a sigh of frustration, then continued.

"I'm not mad at him for it, George, not really. I just hoped I had put all of that medical trouble behind me."

He listened while she explained to him about the recent severe headaches, and Elliot's concerns. How she hadn't planned on mentioning it to her doctor until he spoke up. That now, she needed to have a CT scan done to see if any residual problems remained from her head injuries.

He took a few moments to process what she had told him. Then, realization dawned on him what she was really worried about. He wondered if she even knew it yet.

"Olivia, something tells me that you're not worried about the results of these new tests."

She looked up at him sharply, but said nothing. Just waited for him to continue.

"You're worried that if some type of complication does show up, that Elliot will blame himself because of the way he was forced to act that day."

Again, she did not speak. But her lower lip trembled slightly. It was as if this man in front of her had read her mind. She nearly laughed in spite of herself. He _was_ a psychiatrist, after all. That was his job.

"Olivia, no matter what the results show, there is no way of knowing what caused it. You took several blows to the head that day. Not just from Elliot. Stevens hit you, too."

He allowed her time to digest that information before adding,

"Any one of them on their own could have caused damage, let alone combined together."

She exhaled heavily, nodding. She wasn't the one who needed convincing. With her next breath, she told the doctor as much.

"So your fears aren't about yourself, but your partner."

Hearing Elliot referred to as simply her 'partner' felt strange, especially now that their relationship was evolving, and he had become so much more.

Yet again, George interpreted the emotions and body language of the woman sitting beside him. Something had changed between the two detectives. He'd heard that Elliot had been staying with Olivia while she recovered.

"Olivia, is there something you want to tell me about you and Elliot?"

This question gave Olivia pause. She and Elliot hadn't really discussed disclosing yet. They both knew that if they did, they wouldn't be allowed to remain partners. But Elliot himself had said he didn't know if he'd be able to even return to work. Plus, he'd already told his family.

"Can we keep this off the record, for now?" she asked.

"Of course."

"During my recovery, Elliot and I have grown closer. As you know, he's been staying at my apartment."

She stopped talking for a moment. She wanted time to study the doctor's face, to register his reactions. But his expression gave nothing away.

"Over the course of the last few weeks, things have evolved between us. I guess it would be safe to say that as of last week, we are 'together'"

As she said the last word, she held up her fingers and made quote signs in the air.

"I understand Olivia. You aren't looking to put a label on it. The relationship you and Elliot share has always been unique, even as partners."

Again, she was amazed at how well he was reading her. The conversation progressed then, and delved more into questions about the job. How she would feel returning to work. If he were to return, would she still trust Elliot as her partner?

Her answer to that was an immediate yes. She didn't even have to stop and think about it. She elaborated to George that not once had she ever blamed Elliot for any of the events of that day.

In time, all of his questions were answered, and George was satisfied with her responses. He announced to her that he would have no problem supporting her reinstatement. He did want to see her again before she returned to active duty, but that was just procedure. Plus he was concerned on a personal level about the results of her upcoming test.

They stood, and the labels of doctor and patient fell away. They embraced like the two friends and colleagues that they were. George told her again how glad he was that she had recovered fully. He also reminded her that if she ever needed to talk, his door was always open.

* * *

Elliot had been seated on George's sofa for the last five minutes, silent. His left leg bouncing up and down, a clear sign of his anxiety. Although he had been waiting for the detective to talk, it became clear to the psychiatrist that he would have to be the one to break the ice.

"You must be relieved that Olivia has been medically cleared."

Elliot said nothing, but nodded in agreement. George decided he would try another approach.

"Elliot, I know everything about what happened that day. I've talked with everyone else who was involved, with the exception of your son. Plus, I watched the tapes."

At this, Elliot's head shot up, making abrupt eye contact with the doctor. He'd forgotten about the surveillance tapes. There would have been no audio, but George would have gotten full view of everything that had happened. That means he knew all the horrible things that he'd done that day.

"Elliot."

George tried again to reach him.

"You know the injuries Olivia received were not your fault. The situation was beyond your control. You were trying to save your son."

This time, Elliot broke.

"What about when I shot her? I wasn't trying to save my son then. He was already safe."

"You were trying to subdue a suspect, a man who had already taken hostages, your son among them. A man who was still holding your partner at gunpoint."

Elliot brought his hands up, running them down his face. He couldn't keep his anguish hidden.

"She nearly died – because of me."

"I saw the tapes. She gave you a clear shot. There was no way you could have known what he was going to do."

Deciding to try something else, and operating on a theory, he asked a new question.

"How have you been sleeping since the incident, Elliot?"

The look he received in return said it all. He hadn't been. Still, he waited for the man sitting in front of him to give a verbal reply.

"When she was in the hospital, in the coma, I barely slept at all. I'd only force myself to get enough so that I wouldn't collapse from exhaustion."

He paused, a thoughtful expression on his face. It was as if he were remembering every moment.

"Even when I would sleep, all I would dream about were the moments in the squad room."

"What happened in your dreams?"

Elliot had feared this question, and he suspected George already knew the answer. This was why he'd hesitated so long in coming to talk to him. He didn't like to have his emotions laid bare like this. But holding them in wasn't doing him any good, either.

"When I run to her, I'm unable to save her. She dies in my arms. Or, she's already dead by the time I reach her."

George absorbed what he had been told, but sensed that the other man was holding something back.

"What else, Elliot?"

"That day in the squad room, before she lost consciousness, her last words to me were to beg me for a promise. Not a promise that she would survive, but that I wouldn't blame myself if she didn't."

Elliot shook his head, almost as if he were trying to rid himself of the memory that still haunted him. Looking up to meet the doctor in the eye, he continued.

"How could she do that? She was laying there – beaten, slashed with a knife, and shot – and all she was worried about was me. That and if Dickie was safe."

"Olivia cares about you. She always has."

Now, Elliot found himself getting angry.

"I know that! I care about her, too! Besides, she sacrificed herself so that my son would be safe! If that's not a clue that she cares, I don't know what is!"

He was shaking uncontrollably now. A part of him wondered if Olivia had heard his outburst out in the waiting area. He hadn't meant to get so loud.

"Do you still get the nightmares, Elliot?"

George was trying to divert the conversation back to the previous topic, the one he'd been trying to avoid.

"I haven't had any since last week."

"What changed? Why do you think they've stopped?"

Elliot didn't want to say. He wasn't sure if Olivia was ready to broadcast the fact that they were a couple. But he needed to talk about this.

"If I tell you, can we keep it off the record?"

George hid his smile. It was not lost on him that the reason they had each asked that question was not to protect themselves, but each other.

"Of course."

"Olivia found me one night in her kitchen. She'd had nightmares, too. We talked for a bit, and then she invited me to share her bed for the night."

He chanced a glance at George, trying to read the doctor's expression. It was impassive. He couldn't figure out what the man was thinking after what he had just revealed. Still, he felt the need to clarify.

"I'm not talking about sex, doc."

"I knew what you meant, Elliot. Continue."

He went on to explain how he'd not had any nightmares that night. How, the next night, sleeping alone again, they'd returned in full force. That Olivia had come into his room after hearing him cry out, calmed him down. Offered him her bed a second time. Then, it was time for his sons to visit, and their sleeping arrangements had to change. Since she wouldn't allow him to sleep on the sofa, and he wouldn't let her, they had agreed to keep sharing the bed.

"Now, I just feel comfortable sharing the bed with her. I guess you could say I'm afraid to sleep alone."

He exhaled, kind of a half-laugh. It was self deprecating in nature.

"How sad is that? I'm a grown man, in my forties, afraid to sleep alone."

George was not about to let him feel bad about that.

"You've also recently dealt with an extremely traumatic event. I'd say your reactions to the situation are completely normal.'

They talked for a few minutes longer, and soon the conversation reached another point Elliot had been dreading - work.

He explained his initial reaction, when IAB had cleared him and tried to return his badge and weapon. How he'd felt ill at the mere sight of them. The fact that he could scarcely even think about setting foot in the squad room.

George told him what he'd already suspected, that what he was suffering from was a form of PTSD. His body and mind were reacting to the trauma of that day.

"Have you considered retirement, Elliot?"

He wasn't making a suggestion, merely curious to see if the man had thought about it.

"It's all I think about. The hard part for me is knowing that Olivia isn't ready to retire. And I'd never ask her to."

Again George read between the lines. Knew what it was Elliot was trying to say.

"You worry about her going out into the field with someone else as her partner."

"Yes. I trust her capabilities, but we've watched over each other for so long. The thought of entrusting her safety to someone else, is hard to think about."

Elliot took a breath. He felt so drained, but also some relief. He also knew he'd had all he could take for one day.

"Is it okay if we stop here? I'll make another appointment to come back."

"That's fine, Elliot. We've covered a lot of bases today."

Elliot realized he had nearly forgotten something. He quickly explained to George about his son, and what he had been going through. The psychiatrist listened carefully, then gave a solution.

"I'm sure I can find someone who would be able to help. I can have a couple of names for you by the next time we meet."

They both stood, and shook hands. Just as he was nearing the door to leave, George called after him.

"Please call me if you find you are still having issues with anxiety, or the trouble sleeping resumes. I can write you a mild prescription for short term use."

Elliot nodded, then left the office. He needed to see Olivia.

* * *

He found her waiting exactly where he'd left her, in one of the chairs outside the office door. Rushing to her side, he enveloped her in a hug, and held on tight. Despite all he had gotten off his shoulders by talking to the psychiatrist, having her in his arms was a much better therapy. He wasn't relishing a return appointment to see George again, but knew he needed to make one. They'd only scratched the surface today, but he'd had all he could handle.

Olivia pulled back from the embrace to look Elliot in the eye. She was worried about him. She'd heard his earlier outburst, but had not been able to decipher entirely what had been said. Whatever had gone on in that office must have been extremely emotional.

"Are you still okay to stop up in the squad room today? Or would you rather just go home?"

As she asked the question, she lifted her hands to frame his face. Her eyes held fast to his, preventing him from looking away. She was seeking a direct and truthful response, and not for him to give her the response she was hoping to hear.

"We can go up Liv. I can't avoid it forever."

As he said the words, his hands covered hers. He squeezed gently, and she knew he was telling the truth. Plus, they wouldn't be staying for long. She just needed to give Cragen the forms from the doctor, and inform them that she was cleared to return to desk duty once she had the CT results.

He paused at the desk to make another appointment with George's secretary. He wasn't sure whether it was fortunate or not, but there was an opening available on Friday. While he never wanted to see anything happen to anyone, part of him hoped something else would come up. Maybe a meeting of some sort that the man would have to attend. Certainly not a crime that would require his expertise.

With the appointment made, he rested his hand on the small of Olivia's back. Together they made their way to the bank of elevators that would take them to the squad room. He didn't feel odd about doing so in front of his colleagues, as it was a common gesture between them. He used it often, even when they were just partners. If anyone saw them together with him touching her this way, no one would think anything of it.

They rode the elevator in silence, and walked into the squad room side by side. Expecting to be greeted by the usual flurry of activity, they were surprised to find everyone working quietly at their desks.

Deciding that she would go for the surprise approach, Olivia stepped forward. Then she announced her presence, pretending to be insulted.

"I'm gone for weeks, and this is the welcome back I get? Good to know you all missed me."

Upon hearing her voice, every head in the room turned in her direction. Munch and Fin stood from their desks, and hurried over to give her a hug. They playfully fought over who would be first. Seeing Elliot standing by her side, they shook his hand as well.

Hearing the commotion, Captain Cragen opened his office door and peered out.

"What is going on out here?"

Then, he spied his two detectives who had been missing for some time.

"Olivia! Elliot!"

He, too, rushed over to where the four stood. As the close-knit group got reacquainted, other members of the sixteenth precinct who passed by would come up to greet Olivia and Elliot.

"What are you doing here?"

This question came from the Captain. Not that he wasn't glad to see the pair, but it was an unexpected visit.

"I have papers for my return to work. Or I will once I complete a CT scan on Friday."

Seeing the look of concern on the faces of her coworkers, Olivia briefly explained her situation. What she had been experiencing regarding the headaches, and that the test was just precautionary. She agreed with the Captain that she was aware her return would be to desk duty for the time being.

"Come into my office then, Olivia, and we'll talk."

He gestured as he spoke, and she started to follow him. She stopped though, when she saw the look on Elliot's face. Reaching behind her, she held out a hand to him.

"Come with me."

Her words were stated simply. He fell into step beside her yet again. As they crossed the spot by their desks where those fateful events had unfolded only a few weeks prior, he froze. His eyes were glued to that spot across the room where she had fallen. He swore he could still see her blood staining the floor. Even though it had not only been thoroughly cleaned, but that section of floor had been replaced.

Paying no heed to the fact they were being watched, Olivia reached for his hand. She squeezed it, which succeeded in gaining his attention.

"It's okay, El. I'm here."

He swallowed the lump in his throat, and nodded. Then he followed her into the Captain's office. Once inside, Cragen shut the door as they were seated. He walked around his desk, and sat down himself. Looking them in the eye, he decided not to pull any punches.

"How long?"

It was useless to feign ignorance at this point. The man they were facing had been a detective himself after all, prior to rising in the ranks. To think they could slip their relationship - however new - past his eagle eye, was foolish.

"It's recent, Cap."

It was Elliot who answered the question. He went into some minor detail, stating that feelings only grew stronger while she was recovering. That nothing inappropriate had ever happened between them while he had been married, or while they were active partners.

"I realize that, Elliot."

The Captain's voice was kind. He reached his hand out to accept the papers Olivia tried to give him earlier. Placing them on his desk, he opened a drawer. Reaching in, he extended her gun and badge.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Elliot's gaze fall upon the items. She also noticed the near imperceptible shaking of his hands that started when he saw them. That prompted her to make a decision. She couldn't bring them into her home right now, not when they would likely trigger bad memories for him. Plus, she had to think about Elliot's children as well. She had lived alone for so long, she'd never needed to think about taking advanced safety precautions. Now that she had a teenager – not to mention a toddler – staying at her place on a regular basis, she would need to invest in a lock box.

"Cap, if it's alright with you, can you just hold onto those until my first official day back on the job?"

The Captain hadn't missed Elliot's reaction. He knew why Olivia was asking what she was. Quickly putting the items away in the drawer once more, he acted as if nothing had happened.

"No problem Olivia. They'll be safe here."

Elliot took the opportunity to speak up then, explaining to his Captain that he'd seen George Huang that morning. That he still hadn't made up his mind about returning to the job. He apologized for taking so long in making a decision.

"Take all the time you need, Elliot. You have plenty of leave saved up."

They three of them spoke for a few minutes more. Cragen saw no need to tell them that if Elliot did return to work, they could no longer remain partners. He knew, instinctively, that they were already aware of this. He also knew, even if Elliot didn't, that the man had already made his decision.

Their conversation was interrupted when the phone on Cragen's desk rang. A new case had hit, and all hands were needed on deck. Munch, Fin, the uni's, even the Captain was expected to be at the crime scene.

Olivia and Elliot said their farewells, and promised to get together with everyone soon, even if it was for a night of drinks after work. The group all walked out of the precinct together, then went their separate ways.

* * *

Elliot and Olivia opted against stopping somewhere for lunch on the way home. Both of them were feeling tired. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. They did make one brief detour on the way home, to a realtor's office, to pick up a few brochures of local listings.

Once they arrived back at the apartment, Olivia offered to make them something to eat. Elliot declined, saying he wasn't hungry. He wandered into the bedroom.

"What can I do to help?"

Hearing her voice, he turned to find her standing in the doorway. He appreciated her offer. Rather than insist he talk about it, or put pressure on him, she was simply providing a gentle presence. He knew if he asked her to leave him alone with his thoughts for awhile, she would, and she wouldn't be offended. But he didn't want to be alone.

"I think I'm going to lie down for a little while, will you rest with me?"

She nodded, and they each grabbed their comfortable clothes that were lying on the bed. Rather than retreat to separate rooms to change, they simply turned their backs to one another. It wasn't a conscious decision, just something that happened.

Soon, they both crawled into the bed. Elliot set an alarm on his phone. He didn't want to sleep for long. Truth of the matter was, he wasn't even sure if he could fall asleep. His mind was troubled.

He couldn't stop thinking of those moments in the squad room today. Even though that section of floor had been replaced, it only seemed to draw more attention to it. The color of the linoleum didn't quite match up. He hadn't been able to stop staring at it.

Olivia's gentle reminder that she was still here had been all he had needed to draw him back to the present. Uncaring of the fact they were being watched by all of their coworkers, she had taken his hand in hers. Drawn him out of the memories that threatened to suck him in.

How could he possibly go back to work there when he couldn't even handle a visit? He also recalled how he'd begun to shake when he caught sight of Olivia's gun and badge. That meant it wasn't just his own weapon that affected him.

Now, laying next to Olivia, he finally felt like he could breathe again.

His thoughts were still swimming, but at least he could breathe. He knew she'd want to talk, but he also knew she wouldn't force him. She would wait for him to speak first, on his own time.

"Are you mad at me?"

Of all the things in the world he could have possibly said, this surprised them both. But it was something he needed to know. He'd been wondering about it ever since they left the doctor's office. He knew he'd spoken up out of turn about her headaches. But it was something that had worried him.

"Why would I be mad at you?" She moved her head off his chest to look him in the eye.

"Because of what I said at the doctor's."

She was silent for a moment, then answered him.

"I'll admit, I was frustrated with you – but only for a moment. I know your heart was in the right place."

This seemed to act as a floodgate to open a conversation between the two. She told him about her meeting with George. He told her what was really on his mind. That led way into what he had talked about with the psychiatrist, too. Eventually they got around to the topic of how he had reacted when Cragen had tried to return her gun and badge.

"Liv, I'm sorry about how I acted when I saw the gun. You'd have your badge back right now if not for me."

Assuring him that wasn't the case, she went on to explain. She reminded of the fact that she didn't own a lock box, and since his sons would be more frequent visitors in their home, she would need to get one. She hadn't wanted to bring the weapon back until it could be secured properly.

"When I go online later, I plan to order one. I'm sure I can have it delivered in a day or two."

Elliot relaxed at her reasoning. It made sense. Holding her close again, he tried to calm himself some more. She knew, instinctively that he was done talking for now.

Unable to doze off, Elliot's mind drifted back to a subject he thought about often. What to do about his job. Why couldn't he make a decision? He knew he had the support of so many people, so that wasn't a factor. No one was pressuring him to choose one way or another.

The fact of the matter was, he wasn't sure he wanted to leave the badge behind. He still wanted to help the victims. He can remember the satisfaction he feels when arresting someone, bringing someone to justice.

What if he were to switch to a desk job? He'd still be within the unit. He could interview the perps, and counsel the victims. But then he wouldn't be required to carry a gun. It was something to consider.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, he had put in over twenty years on the force. He could retire now in good standing, start receiving his pension.

The woman sleeping next to him cuddled closer into his chest, drawing his thoughts back to the present moment. No matter what his decision, he would still have her. True, they may never work together again as partners, but now they would have so much more.

Tomorrow night, he would show her just how much she meant to him. He'd secured theater tickets, and made reservations at the bistro he'd been promising to take her to. It would be their first official date. With those thoughts now foremost in his mind, he drifted off to sleep next to Olivia, a smile on his face.


	13. Resolutions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. I own nothing.

Wednesday morning, Olivia woke first. She had been looking forward to a walk in the park with Elliot, but saw that it was pouring down rain outside. Instead, she decided she would go shopping. She wanted to find a new dress to wear tonight on their date.

Getting out of bed, she quickly got ready. She left a note for Elliot, as she couldn't be certain he'd understood her when she'd told him she was leaving. He had still been half asleep.

Once outside of her building, she hailed a taxi, and gave the driver the address. She knew precisely which store she wanted to go to. Plus, she'd called yesterday while Elliot was talking with Huang, and secured herself a hair appointment. It had been awhile since she'd gotten it trimmed.

The driver made it to her destination in record time, a true feat driving in the city. She slipped some money through the divider, and exited the cab. Upon entering the store, she headed straight for the ladies department. She browsed the selection for a bit, then selected several dresses to try on.

After spending some time in the fitting room, she left with her favorite. Not that she really needed another black dress, but she had really fallen in love with this one. It flattered her, and she couldn't wait for Elliot to see her in it. Plus, she already owned the perfect pair of shoes to wear with it, saving her an additional expense.

She had finished her shopping with plenty of time to make it to her appointment. Dress in hand, she hailed another cab to take her to the salon. On the ride there, her thoughts drifted back to the previous night.

She and Elliot had woken from their nap about two hours after they had fallen asleep. He was feeling somewhat better, having gotten some rest. Given the events of the day, they had opted to spend a quiet night in. She cooked a simple dinner, which they ate on the sofa watching television.

After dinner, they had flipped through some of the brochures they had picked up at the realtor's office. While Olivia had no problem giving her opinion, she had never shopped for a house before. Elliot helped her, pointing out what to look for. They found a few options that interested them, and made a few phone calls. Now, in addition to their other appointments on Friday, they would be viewing a couple of prospective townhouses. It was a big step they were taking, but somehow, it felt right.

"Miss?"

Olivia was pulled out of her thoughts by the driver calling to her. She looked toward the front of the car.

"We're here, miss."

She passed some bills through the divider to pay her fare. Taking her dress in hand, she exited the cab. Upon entering the salon, she was greeted by the host. They were kind enough to hang her dress up for her while she was being taken of.

Olivia was whisked away to the back, where an attendant began to wash her hair. This was always one of her favorite parts of having her hair done. It always made her feel pampered.

Once her hair had been washed, the stylist asked her what her preference was. She stated that she wanted to keep her same look. All she was asking for was that the split ends were trimmed, and her hair was shaped a bit. The woman nodded, and started. As she worked, she and Olivia chatted.

The stylist had worked quickly and efficiently, and soon was done with the scissors. After adding some product, she grabbed the hair dryer to style it. When she had finished, it fell to Olivia's shoulders in soft waves.

Olivia left the chair, then made her way to the register to pay. Once there, her dress was waiting for her. She paid for the services, making sure to leave a generous tip for the stylist. Then she headed back out into the elements again. It was already after lunch. She hoped Elliot hadn't been waiting for her to eat something.

She arrived home a short time later. Letting herself in the apartment, she found Elliot in the living room. He left his spot on the sofa to greet her at the door. After giving her a kiss, and complimenting her on her hair, he seemed interested in her purchase.

"What did you buy?"

As he spoke, he reached for the garment bag. She pulled it out of his reach.

"A new dress. It's for tonight."

He teased her with a few more kisses. She moaned into his mouth, and almost lost her grip on the dress.

"If I keep kissing you like this, do I get to see the dress?"

She kissed him back, wrapping one arm around his neck. Then she pulled back. She could play the game, too.

"Of course."

He smiled eagerly, and reached for the garment bag again. Once more she pulled it out of his hands, and amended her statement.

"When I'm wearing it later tonight."

With that said, she gave him one final kiss, then moved toward the bedroom to put the dress away in her closet. She returned a short while later.

Her next stop was the kitchen. She asked Elliot if he'd eaten, and when he confirmed that he had, she was relieved. Not feeling particularly hungry herself, she opted for half a sandwich and some fresh fruit. Elliot kept her company while she ate.

Soon, they found themselves in the living room again. Olivia was a bit tired after her morning out, but didn't want to lie down. Elliot instead pulled her against him, suggesting she rest anyway. She complied, laying her head against his chest. Even though her eyes were closed, she still participated in conversation. They talked about their plans for the evening, both of them looking forward to their date.

* * *

It was just after five, and Olivia was putting the finishing touches on her makeup. Elliot had told her to be ready by five-thirty, that they had reservations at six. The show began at eight.

Once her makeup was complete, she focused on her hair. Luckily, that didn't need much work. Most of the style and body was still present from her trip to the salon this morning. She pulled it up a bit on one side, and held it in place with a silver clip.

Her next step was to shed her robe. She stepped into her dress, and slid the straps over her shoulders. She hoped Elliot wouldn't mind giving her assistance in zipping it up. Slipping her feet into her shoes, she made her way to her dresser. Her last step was to add a touch of jewelry to complete her look, and a spritz of perfume to her pulse points. Then she was ready to go. She grabbed a small purse and shawl from her closet, then headed to the living room.

Elliot was there waiting for her. He was sharply dressed in a suit and tie. He looked up as he heard her door open and her footsteps approach. Upon seeing her, his breath caught in his throat. She looked beautiful.

Taking a few steps closer to him, she spun around. Her back was bare. Unaware of what she wanted him to do at first, his eyes were drawn to the expanse of skin that was showing.

"Zip me up?" she asked softly.

It took a minute for the words to register, but once they did, he moved to comply. His hands reached for the delicate zipper on her dress, moving it up gently. When they reached the nape of her neck, he rested his hand there, squeezing softly. He couldn't help but lean forward and press a soft kiss there before pulling back.

"You look beautiful, Olivia." he murmured to her.

"Thank you. You look very handsome, yourself."

She turned back around softly, and their eyes met. They shared a smile, then he offered her his arm. Together they walked out of the apartment.

When they reached the curb outside, she was in for another surprise. Instead of heading to his car, Elliot lead her to a town car that was waiting for them. She looked at him in awe.

"You hired a limo for tonight?"

"I told you I wanted to give you the best. You deserve it."

With that said, he opened the door for her. They slid into the vehicle together. The driver, who had already been made aware of their destination ahead of time, pulled out onto the street and began to drive.

Fifteen minutes later, they had arrived at the bistro Olivia so loved. After the car had pulled up to the curb, Elliot got out. He extended his hand to assist her. They walked into the restaurant. After stopping at the podium to give his name and confirm their reservation, they were promptly seated.

They were looking over the menus when the server came to the table.

He presented Elliot with the wine list, and after perusing the options, Elliot selected a bottle for him and Olivia to share.

Minutes later, their server returned to the table with the bottle in hand, plus two glasses. He poured some for Elliot to sample, and when it was satisfactory, poured a second glass for Olivia. When that was finished, he set the bottle in a bucket by the side of the table. Then he took their orders.

Olivia's order was no surprise. Elliot had been promising to bring her here for her favorite dish, Chicken Alfredo, since her first hospital stay. It would be almost criminal if she didn't get it. She selected a salad as an accompaniment.

Elliot opted for the steak dinner, and he too selected salad as his starter. Having taken the orders, the server retreated, leaving them alone. Elliot reached for his wine glass, and raised it. Olivia, seeing this, did the same. They clinked glasses, and Elliot made a toast.

"To us. To a wonderful night together. And whatever the future may hold."

"Cheers."

Olivia chimed in. She took a sip of her wine, savoring the taste. As she set her glass down, Elliot took her hand over the table. He didn't say anything, just squeezed it gently. She read the unspoken words in the emotion in his eyes, and squeezed back.

They pulled apart when the server reappeared, placing the salads in front of them. He also set a basket of fresh, warm bread in the middle of the table. After ensuring they did not need anything else, he left.

Picking up their forks, they began to eat. Conversation between them was kept light. For the most part, they talked about the townhouses they were going to look at on Friday. What they were looking forward to most. The topic soon drifted to the show they were due to see later that evening.

While Elliot knew next to nothing about it, Olivia had read reviews. She had been wanting to see the show for awhile now, but could never seem to find the time. Plus, her dating life of late hadn't exactly been active, and it was no fun going to the theater by yourself.

They were still talking when their server returned to clear their salad plates and refill their bread basket. Olivia, while she was enjoying the wine, also asked for a glass of water. It had been a long time since she'd had anything with alcohol, and she didn't want to get tipsy. When he brought her water, he informed them that their entrees would be out shortly.

Even though he had just seen them on Monday, Olivia asked Elliot if he had heard from his kids. This surprised him, as he hadn't expected his family to be a topic of discussion tonight. He told her that he'd received an email from Dickie this morning, sent while he had been on a free period.

"Is everything okay? How is he doing?"

She was concerned about the teen, especially since Elliot had mentioned to her his request to live with them full time.

"He's managing. He has plans to go to a friends house this weekend, or else I think he'd have asked to come and stay with us."

He gave Olivia time to process that, before adding further.

"If all goes according to plan, I'd like to begin having him stay with us for those alternating two week spans as soon as we are settled somewhere."

She had been taking a sip of her water as he spoke. Setting the glass down again, she answered him.

"El, you don't even have to wait that long. Do whatever is best for your son. If what he needs is to come and be with you, then bring him to the apartment."

He thanked her, even though she'd said on numerous occasions that thanks weren't necessary. Together, they made tentative plans for the following weekend. That would give Elliot enough time to clear his things out of the guest room, and move them into Olivia's.

Their ongoing conversation was brought to a halt by the arrival of their dinner. The server placed the plates in front of them. Olivia took her first bite of her pasta, which smelled heavenly. It tasted wonderful. Truth be told, she had been dreaming of this dinner ever since Elliot first promised it to her when she was in the hospital.

After eating for a bit, she extended her fork to Elliot, offering him a bite. In return, he gave her some of his steak. While it wasn't her go-to choice, she had to agree that it was very good.

Neither of them had realized how hungry they were, and despite efforts to savor their meals, they were soon finished. They decided against dessert, and the check was brought to the table. Elliot paid the bill, then stood. He helped Olivia from her chair, then led her back to their waiting car. They were now on their way to the theater.

* * *

Elliot and Olivia rose with the rest of the audience to give the cast a standing ovation. The show had been phenomenal. Olivia paused in clapping to wipe away a stray tear that lingered. She couldn't remember a time when she had been so moved by a performance.

The cast took their final bows, and left the stage. The curtain fell, and the house lights came back up. People began bustling about, all in a hurry to leave. Those that had driven would be eager to find their cars and beat traffic. Others would want to take to the streets as quickly as possible to find a taxi before they were all taken.

They had no such worries. Elliot took out his phone, and used it to contact their driver for the evening. He informed him that their show had ended, and they were ready to be picked up. Their car would arrive in a few minutes. All they needed to do was wait. Taking Olivia's hand, he led her to the lobby.

He opted to wait with her indoors for the car, as the evening had grown chilly. Yes, she had brought a shawl, but he worried it would not be enough to protect her from the cool air. Studying her face, he reached out a hand to brush a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

"I don't know about you, but I'm not ready for our night to end."

He gave her a moment to consider his words, then continued.

"What would you say to stopping somewhere for dessert and coffee on the way home?"

Her voice was soft as she replied, looking up at him through her lashes.

"I think that sounds like a wonderful idea."

No sooner had she replied, than Elliot received an alert on his phone. Their driver was waiting for them outside the theater. He led her out, holding the door for her. Once they got to the car, he helped her in. Giving the driver the address of a twenty-four hour cafe that was close to Olivia's apartment, they were off to conclude their evening.

They decided in the car that even though it was chilly out, they would walk home from the cafe. So once they arrived, Elliot told the driver that his services were done for the night. He gave him a generous tip, and sent him on his way.

They entered the cafe, and found a quiet booth in the corner. They each placed an order for coffee, along with deciding to share a slice of cheesecake.

Their dessert and coffee arrived at the table at the same time. Placing the cheesecake in between them, Elliot picked up a fork. But rather than taking the bite for himself, he held it out for Olivia to taste. She in turn, did the same for him. That was the way they ate the entire dessert, feeding each other.

After they had finished, they slowly sipped their coffee. Both of them declined offers of a second cup. While they were accustomed to drinking the beverage at all hours when on the job, since being away, they found they had their limits where caffeine was concerned.

When the last of the coffee had been drained from the cups, they stood to leave. It seemed neither of them wanted the magic of the evening to end. If they thought about it, it really didn't have to. They were going to the same place, would be sleeping in the same bed tonight.

As they left the cafe, Olivia took a chill as the night air hit her. Elliot slipped out of his suit jacket and draped it over her shoulders. Keeping an arm wrapped around her for added warmth, they began to walk toward her apartment building. In just two short blocks, they were at her front steps. Elliot retrieved the keys from his pocket to let them in.

They took the elevator up to her floor, but before they could enter her apartment, he stopped at her door. She turned to look at him, curious.

"El, what is it? Is something wrong?"

He shook his head.

"No, it's just – you'll probably think it stupid."

"Tell me."

He took a deep breath, then told her what was on his mind.

"We've kind of been working a bit backwards. I'm already living here, we're already sharing a bed."

She studied his face, trying to figure out where he was going with this. Was he having regrets? She waited for him to explain.

"I always wanted the chance to take you out for a night, treat you the way you deserve."

"And you did that, Elliot. Tonight was wonderful. I had a lovely time."

He sighed in frustration. She didn't understand where he was going with this.

"But that night in my dreams always ended with me kissing you at your door. How am I supposed to do that if we're walking through it together?"

Finally, realization dawned upon her. They had passed by the more traditional dating rituals. Sharing a bed, making plans to move in together, even bringing his children to live with them on a part-time basis. All before their first official date. She tried to ease his mind.

"Well, we're standing in front of my door now. And I wouldn't object to a kiss goodnight."

He received her message loud and clear, and once more, his heart was filled with love for her. Leaning in, his lips softly touched hers. He kept the contact feather light, almost reverent. Pulling back, his eyes searched hers. He saw the smile in them before he even was aware it was on her lips.

"Shall we go inside now?" she asked

Hearing the mischievous tone in her voice, he responded in kind.

"Why, Miss Benson, I didn't know you were that kind of girl. Inviting a man into your apartment on the first date."

"I'm just full of surprises."

As they stepped over the threshold into the apartment, their banter ended there. They shared a few more kisses, each more heated than the last. Then, they put a stop to it before they could get carried away. Olivia was aware that Elliot didn't want to take their physical relationship any further until his divorce was final, and she respected that.

When Elliot entered the bedroom several minutes later, he found Olivia there. She was hanging her dress back up in the closet. He recalled how beautiful she had looked tonight, and hoped she would wear it for him again sometime. Then again, he also knew she owned several other dresses that she would no doubt look just as gorgeous in.

He asked her if she was interested in watching anything, but she declined the offer. She said she didn't mind if he put something on in the bedroom though, that it wouldn't bother her. It seemed to him that she was looking for the company.

She disappeared into the kitchen. When she returned, she carried with her two bottles of water. Giving one to him, she turned down her side of the bed, and crawled in. He lay next to her, and reached for the remote. Knowing she was planning to sleep, he took care to keep the volume low.

Olivia waited until he found something to watch, then lay down on her side. She tried unsuccessfully to find a comfortable spot on her pillow. Elliot, watching her struggle, wrapped an arm around her. He pulled her close so that she was resting against his chest. She relaxed almost immediately. As her breathing evened out, he placed a kiss on her forehead.

Once she had fallen asleep, he allowed his mind to wander. Tonight had been wonderful. As much as he was enjoying his everyday life with Olivia, he looked forward to the opportunity to take her out again. He felt bad that, as a result of circumstances, they had missed out on the courtship phase of their relationship. Then again, if not for her injuries acting as the catalyst, who knows when he would have admitted his feelings.

He switched off the television, seeing as he wasn't paying attention to it anyway. Turning on his side, he was careful not to disturb the sleeping woman in his arms. Then, he too, succumbed to sleep.

* * *

Thursday passed quickly for the pair. They had been able to go for a walk in the park, then spent the majority of the afternoon searching the internet for available homes that they were interested in.

Later that evening, as they were sitting together, Elliot noticed a marked change in Olivia. Over the past hour, she had grown more quiet and distant. He suspected it had to do with the CT scan she had scheduled for the following morning. He, too, was anxious about it.

He wasn't sure if he could get her to talk to him about what was bothering her. He knew she often kept her fears to herself, as a way of trying to protect him. In fact, he suspected that the majority of her anxieties over the test tomorrow didn't have anything to do with herself, but rather what his reactions would be if the outcome were negative.

She was still protecting him, even now. How could he make her see that he was here for her, too? That he could handle the weight of her worries and fears the same way she carried his? Yes, there were moments when he still blamed himself. He suspected that would take time before it went away, if it ever fully did. But that didn't mean he couldn't be there for her. He could manage his guilt, and still care for her.

Trying to draw her out, he wrapped both arms around her. She leaned into the embrace, and lay her cheek against his. He turned his head to press a kiss on her temple.

"Talk to me, Liv. Let it out."

He was met by silence, but she trembled slightly in his arms. He knew it wouldn't be long before she spoke. He said nothing more, just waited.

"I'm nervous about tomorrow."

Sensing she wasn't finished, he waited. Sure enough, she soon continued with an explanation. It was as he had expected. She wasn't worried about herself at all. Her fear was that if something showed up on the scan, he would blame himself. In turn that would negatively effect the steps they'd made together.

She feared that if he blamed himself again, he would withdraw from her. Punish himself through some form of self exile. Truth of the matter was, she had grown just as accustomed to sharing a bed as he had.

He wasn't surprised by her reactions. He recalled the conversation they'd had about her experiences during the coma. Even during one of the most intense medical crises of her life, she had been looking after him. He knew what it was he had to do.

"Liv, no matter what the outcome tomorrow, everything will be okay."

She pulled away from him only slightly to study his eyes as he spoke.

It seemed she was trying to determine if he was trying to convince her, himself, or both.

"You are right, there are times I still blame myself. But I promise you, I'm going to work on that with Huang."

He held her tighter as he continued.

"You've told me so many times that you don't blame me, and I think its finally starting to register. Not that I wasn't listening -"

"I know what you meant." she answered softly.

"I could tell you every minute of every day, but until you believe the words yourself, it wasn't going to matter."

She let that fact hang in the air for a moment. Then she asked him a question.

"Can I ask what it was that helped you change your mind?"

"You."

His answer was so simple, but still left many questions unanswered. How could she have possibly done anything? Olivia wondered. She said nothing, just waited for him to elaborate.

"The entire time you've been recovering, you've been so strong. Not once have you been focused on the impact its had on you."

She opened her mouth to speak, but he held up a hand, stopping her. He knew if he didn't get this out now, he never would.

"Your main focus has always been me. How I would react to your progress, or in some cases, your setbacks."

He cupped her face in both his palms now, searching her eyes. He'd never accuse her of lying to him, but he suspected she'd been hiding something from him in the name of trying to protect him.

"Tell me the truth, Liv. You've been having these headaches a lot longer than what you just had this past weekend, haven't you?"

Now that the question was out, she had to answer. She'd been having issues since her first hospital stay. The headaches hadn't started out bad, just minor annoyances. They gradually became more severe over time.

Her silence was his answer. Despite his promise not to, he found himself getting upset with her. What if she'd had severe complications? He understood her need to protect him, but not when she was gambling with her health.

Olivia felt the tension in his body, and knew he was upset.

"I'm sorry Elliot. I didn't think anything was wrong, honest."

He tried to force himself to relax. He'd heard the sincerity in her apology. He had one final thing to say on the subject, then he would let the matter drop.

"Just promise me something Liv. From now on, tell me when you don't feel well. Even if you think it's nothing."

She nodded, agreeing to his terms. She knew now he wasn't just thinking of her test tomorrow, but also of her most recent bout with pneumonia. It wasn't typically in her nature to let other people take care of her, but with Elliot, she thinks she could find a way to get used to it. They would take care of each other.

Now that both were feeling relieved having discussed what was on their minds, they headed in to bed. Tomorrow was going to be a long day. They had Olivia's scan first, then Elliot had an appointment with Huang. After that, they would be all over Manhattan viewing prospective new homes. While neither figured they'd find something on their first day of searching, they were excited to go and look.

* * *

Friday morning, Elliot found himself awake well before the alarm went off. He guessed it was nerves. He tried to be careful not to disturb Olivia, but then realized that she was awake, too.

"Couldn't sleep either?" he murmured.

"No."

He placed a kiss on her forehead, at the same time he rubbed a hand up and down her arm.

"What do you say we get out of here, then? Grab some breakfast before we head over to the hospital for your test?"

Olivia smiled. She followed Elliot's line of thinking. Neither of them would be particularly hungry, but they both needed to eat. Plus, the distraction of the meal would help them both.

They got ready to leave, not really in a hurry as they had plenty of time. Olivia selected her clothes. She was having trouble deciding what to wear at first, then remembered that she was only having a CT scan, not an MRI. Plus if there really was a problem with what she was wearing, they would just have her change to a hospital gown.

She made sure to grab the forms she'd need for the scan, then met Elliot in the living room. He already had in hand everything they'd need later for their house hunting. They locked up and left the apartment, heading for their first stop – breakfast.

When they arrived at the diner, they were surprised to find that it wasn't as crowded as they'd expected. Taking a booth toward the back, Elliot ordered coffee. Olivia declined, opting for orange juice instead. She loved coffee, but didn't need the extra jitters the caffeine would provide. Not when in just a little over an hour, she would be required to lie still for an extended period of time. She was already nervous enough.

Once their server came back with the beverages, they placed their orders. They both chose a Belgian waffle topped with berries and whipped cream. Elliot also opted for a side of bacon.

While waiting for their food to arrive, Elliot noticed that Olivia wasn't entirely present. Reaching across the table to take her hand, he squeezed gently to get her attention. When she looked at him, he offered her a smile. He wanted to show her his support.

Bringing her hand up to his lips, he kissed her fingertips softly.

"It's going to be alright, Liv. Your scan will come back normal. I can feel it."

She heard the positivity in his tone, and could tell he genuinely believed it. He wasn't just saying the words to convince her, or himself.

Before she could respond, their breakfast was served. They each began to eat, having been more hungry than they realized. When they were done, Elliot declined Olivia's offer to let her pay for their meal. He did however, concede and agree to let her pay for lunch later in the day.

They arrived at the hospital with time to spare, despite encountering some traffic on the way. Olivia signed herself in, and waited to complete the registration process. Once that was done, they made their way to radiology.

The waiting room in radiology was crowded, but not overflowing. Managing to find two chairs together, they took a seat. They had only been there a short while before Olivia's name was called. She stood, leaving her bag and phone with Elliot. Then she followed the technician down the hallway.

"Good morning, Detective Benson. How are you feeling today?"

The technician's voice was cheerful as they exchanged pleasantries. Olivia told her she was feeling fine, and politely asked how she was doing as well.

They arrived at the room where the test would take place. A mammoth sized machine was in the center of it, with a table that could enter a small circular structure. Unlike an MRI, though, this was open on all sides. She wouldn't be prone to feeling claustrophobic.

The technician helped her get settled on the table, then offered her the option of using headphones during the test. Olivia accepted. She would much rather listen to music than the whirring noises of the machinery. That would only serve to ratchet up her anxiety.

Lying back, she tried as best as she could to get comfortable. Considering the exam was of her head, she wasn't allowed a traditional pillow. A special one was given to her, and it was nowhere near as comfortable as what she was accustomed to. But for the sake of this test, could manage.

The kind voice of the technician came over the headphones, asking Olivia if she were ready to begin. When she answered in the affirmative, she felt the table move backward into the machine. Then, the music began. Olivia closed her eyes, and tried to relax. She thought back to the memories of Wednesday night, and her date with Elliot.

Before she even realized, she felt table beneath her moving again. She heard the same voice telling her the test was now complete, and that she had done well. She must have fallen asleep, and not realized it.

The technician joined her on the other side of the door, and informed her that her doctor would have the results by Monday or Tuesday the following week. Olivia thanked her, then made her way back to the waiting room.

She found Elliot in the same spot where she had left him. To keep himself occupied, he was thumbing through one of the real estate magazines. As though he sensed her presence, he looked up.

"All finished?"

At her nod, he put the magazine back in her bag, and stood. They hurried to the exit, neither of them wanting to spend any more time in the hospital than was necessary.

* * *

Elliot pulled into the parking lot at the sixteenth precinct. He was about an hour early for his appointment, but they figured they would stop up in the squad room to say hello. Making their way into the building, they headed for the elevator.

They found Fin and Munch out on a call, but the Captain was in his office. He invited them in to have a seat.

"Elliot, Olivia, good to see you. What brings you by here today?"

They exchanged a glance before Elliot took the opportunity to answer for them both.

"Liv had that test at the hospital this morning. I have an appointment with Huang in a little while."

Cragen nodded. He remembered now. They had mentioned when they were in earlier this week about the follow up testing Olivia needed to have done.

"I was about to call you later today, actually." The Captain began.

Olivia and Elliot both looked at him with interest.

"Olivia, if you'd like, you are welcome to start back as early as next week. On desk duty, of course. All your paperwork has been cleared."

Olivia couldn't hide her smile. She was looking forward to getting back to work, even if it was just behind a desk for now. It was a start, and it would only be temporary. After a few weeks of desk duty, and once she got the results of today's test, she could get back in the field again.

She chanced a glance at Elliot, trying to gauge his reaction to the news. He seemed genuinely happy for her. She could tell, though, that he was still torn. But the scales seemed to be tipping. Even if he didn't know it yet, they were leaning in the direction of him leaving the force. She'd known it for some time. He just needed to reach that conclusion on his own.

She reminded herself that although their days as working partners were coming to an end, their journey together in life was just beginning. The fact that, in just a few hours, they would be looking for a home to purchase together proved that.

Olivia was drawn back to the situation at hand with the Captain calling her name.

"Olivia? Are you feeling alright? You zoned out for a minute there."

"I'm fine Captain, thank you. Just feeling a little distracted since they told me I won't get the results of the test until next week."

He told her he understood how frustrating that could be, especially after all she had been through.

There was a commotion in the squad room, and all three of them went to see what it was. Once there, they found Fin and Munch bickering over which one of them was the worse driver. Their argument came to a standstill when they saw Olivia standing there. They forgot all about their disagreement, and hurried over to greet their female colleague.

It was hard to say which of the two was more excited when she informed them she would be back in the squad room the next week. Munch joked that he was glad she'd be around to help make the coffee, as no one wanted to drink the stuff he made. Fin simply stated that he'd be glad to have her back.

Soon, they had to say their goodbyes to their coworkers, as it was nearly time for Elliot's appointment. Fin and Munch both hugged Olivia, saying they would see her Monday morning. They shook hands with Elliot, telling him not to be a stranger. As a final thought, they all made plans to get together for drinks Monday night after work. Even the Captain was invited to come along, despite the fact everyone knew he didn't drink alcohol. It would be a celebration of Olivia's return.

* * *

Olivia and Elliot exited the squad room, and headed back toward the elevators. It was time for his second appointment with George. He didn't know if any decisions would be made today, but he was at least hoping for some progress.

When they arrived at George's office, they found him standing in the small waiting area. He was talking to his secretary, but he must have been anticipating their arrival nonetheless.

He greeted Olivia first, asking how her test had gone that morning. She said that all went well, and even told him about her upcoming return to work on Monday. He gave her a congratulatory hug. Then, he turned to Elliot.

"Elliot, are you ready?" he asked.

"As ready as I'm going to be, doc."

George gestured toward the office, and Elliot walked inside. The psychiatrist closed the door behind them. When offered something to drink, Elliot was originally going to decline. Then he reconsidered. He accepted a bottle of water. It wasn't that he was particularly thirsty, but he thought it might help to have something to hold in his hands.

As he had in the previous appointment, George allowed Elliot some time to collect his thoughts. They were on no set time schedule. He wouldn't pressure him to talk about any one subject in particular. First, he would give him a chance to open up about whatever was on his mind. If he didn't, then he would gently try to delve into what might be bothering him.

"I took Olivia out on Wednesday night."

For a man who was trained in the art of masking his reactions, even George had to work to hide his surprise. This wasn't where he was expecting the man to begin. Still, if this is where Elliot wanted to the conversation to lead, he would go with it.

"You've gone out a lot of times since she's been recovered, haven't you? What was so special about Wednesday?"

"You don't understand. I meant, I took her out. It was our first official date."

Realization dawned upon George then. Despite the fact that they had been sharing living space – a bed even – for some time, they still had significant firsts to overcome.

"And the date, how was it?"

Elliot smiled at the memory, despite his anxiety. He told the doctor of how he had wanted to make Olivia feel special. Naturally, he left out some of the more intimate details of their evening, but he did give a basic outline – dinner, the theater, even dessert.

"What else is there, Elliot?"

Elliot scoffed. He should have known better than to think he could slip something by a psychiatrist, especially one as smart as George.

"It's just something I said to Olivia, something that occurred to me."

"And what would that be?"

He waited half a beat before answering the doctor.

"That we're working backwards in this relationship."

Elliot explained what he meant by that, even though he had a feeling that George already knew what he was talking about.

"You and Olivia were already a pair before this started, Elliot."

His head came up sharply as he heard the doctor's words. What was he implying? Did the man think that he and Olivia had been having an affair while he was married?

"While you may not have been romantically involved, the bond you and Olivia share was already there. This situation only made it stronger."

He took a moment, then continued.

"There is no set of rules that one has to abide by. Go with whatever works best for the two of you."

Elliot absorbed that bit of advice. It made sense. He was never any good when it came to rules, anyway. Why should he start now?

He took a break to drink from the water bottle in his hands. Replacing the cap, he exhaled a breath. Now was the time to talk about why he was really here.

"Olivia is going back to work on Monday."

It was a statement of fact. She had told George as much before his appointment even began. But to lead in to what he wanted to discuss, he had to put it out there. Unfortunately, that lead the man sitting across from him to ask the dreaded question.

"And how does that make you feel, Elliot?"

As soon as he heard the words, Elliot visibly cringed. That was perhaps his most hated phrase of all time. Still, he knew he had to answer.

"I'm happy for her. She's been wanting this."

George didn't miss the hesitation in his voice.

"But?"

"But I'll miss her. I've really enjoyed spending every day with her."

Again, there was a pause in conversation between the two men. Elliot was considering his next words, George was giving him time to speak.

Still, the more time that passed, he could tell that the man needed a prompt.

"And what about you, Elliot? Have you thought any more about work?"

There it was. The million dollar question. Elliot had thought he would freeze up again when he was asked, but he didn't. Surprisingly, the answer had become clear to him less than an hour ago. Once the Captain had said Olivia was able to come back to work.

"For awhile, it's all I thought about. I only realized my answer a little while ago."

There was a finality in his voice, and it told the doctor that he truly had come to a decision. The same resoluteness was present in his eyes. Rather than prompt him again, he waited for Elliot to tell him in his own time what his choice would be.

"That chapter of my life is closed now. I can't go back."

He went on to say how he had briefly considered a desk job, but feared that would still bring back too many memories. What had happened that day wasn't his fault. Still, it was bullets from his own gun that had struck and nearly killed his partner. Despite all the trust she put in him, he knew he could never pick up a gun in the line of duty again.

George listened to what the other man was telling him. He'd suspected all along that this is what he would decide. Truthfully, he was relieved. Elliot still had some of the classic markers of PTSD, and he'd have been hesitant to recommend him back to active duty in the field. Though he knew it couldn't have been easy for him to decide to end what had been a career of over twenty years.

"Have you told Olivia what you've decided?"

Elliot gave George a look that basically answered the question on its own, still he gave a verbal reply.

"No. Hell, I only just figured it out for myself this morning. I don't think she'll be surprised, though."

Neither did George. He couldn't reveal it to Elliot, as the conversation was privileged, but Olivia had hinted to him that she suspected her partner would choose to put down his badge.

As he had the previous appointment, Elliot asked if this could be the stopping point. He'd had as much as he could emotionally handle for now. George agreed that this was a good place stop. He recommended to Elliot that he schedule another visit. The other man agreed. It would take awhile before his papers were processed, and even when they were, retirement privileges still would allow him to see a department psychiatrist.

"Oh, Doc. Did you find any potential therapists for my son?"

Elliot was almost at the door when he had stopped suddenly.

"Yes, I didn't forget. I was just heading to my desk now to get them."

Retrieving the paper, he handed it off to Elliot. On it, were a short list of names for him to consider. George had even gone so far as to add their qualifications. Shaking the man's hand, Elliot thanked him for everything he had done. Then, he let himself out of the office and went in search of Olivia.

* * *

Olivia wasn't in the waiting area when he emerged from George's office. Seeing the puzzled look on his face, the secretary informed him that she had simply stepped out to use the restroom. Elliot relaxed, and proceeded to make his next appointment. There was an opening on Wednesday the following week, which he took.

Just as he finished with his scheduling, Olivia reappeared. She asked him how his appointment went, but he shook his head, indicating that he would tell her about it later. With his hand at the small of her back, he led her out of the precinct building. They had a meeting with the realtor that they had every intention of keeping.

The realtor was waiting for them at her office. She had a list ready of the places she wanted to show them today. They were going to be looking at four townhouses, with the option of adding a fifth if there was time.

The first home that they looked at was crossed off their list immediately. The stairways were entirely too steep. They had to take into consideration the fact that Eli would be spending a lot of time with them, and make sure wherever they decided to live would be a safe place for him.

The second place was also vetoed by both Elliot and Olivia. There was no denying it had a nice curb appeal. However, that was where the appeal ended. Inside, it was a disaster. So many things were in need of repair. While neither of them minded a few minor touch-ups, this was beyond their scope. They couldn't believe the asking price, considering how much work the home needed done.

By this point, they were starting to think it was just not the right day for them to be looking. But then, the realtor pulled up to the third home on their list. By all outward appearances, it seemed to match the photos they had seen. They were eager to look inside to see if that matched up, too.

The realtor joined them as they made their way up the walkway to the front door. After unlocking it, she stepped aside to allow them to enter first. Considering the luck they'd had so far, they stepped forward somewhat hesitantly.

Nothing could have prepared them for what they saw when they stepped through that door. It was as if their every dream had come true. Everything, every feature they had every talked about wanting in a home was there. An open layout, hardwood floors, plenty of light from the windows. They wandered into the kitchen, to find it was outfitted with the latest appliances, all in a stainless steel finish. There was a small nook in the kitchen to place a table and chairs, as well as a separate dining area for when there would be a larger group.

They left the kitchen, wondering if the magic would continue when they viewed the upstairs portion of the house. They found a powder room under the stairs. While one would have thought it would have been too small, it was the perfect size.

The top of the stairs was a landing, that branched off into two sides. On one side was the master bedroom, that featured a walk-in closet with plenty of space. An in suite bathroom was also included. A smaller room was just off to the side. It could be used as an office, or for storage. The realtor explained that the previous owners had used it for a nursery.

On the other side of the landing, there were three additional rooms. There was also a bathroom. Lastly, across from the stairs was a large closet. Curious as to what it could possibly contain, Olivia opened it. She was surprised to find a full size washer and dryer. She'd expected to find those in the basement. Should she and Elliot buy this place, it would be very convenient to not have the laundry facilities on the same floor where all the clothes were kept.

The last place they looked at was the lower level of the home. This proved for them to be another surprise. While most of it was your typical basement storage, a section of it was finished. The layout was similar to that of a studio apartment. There was a small kitchen area along one wall. It even had a private bathroom. The living area was spacious enough that one could easily fit a twin sized bed, a table, and perhaps even a futon.

Elliot and Olivia both exchanged a look. It was obvious they were both on the same wavelength. This space would be perfect for Dickie. The seventeen year old was soon to be a high school senior, and needed to have his privacy. Plus, it was still part of the house. It wasn't as if there were a private entrance where he could come and go without their knowledge.

"What do you think?"

This question came from the realtor. She had a sixth sense about these kinds of things, knowing when people had a connection with a house they were wanting to buy. It was what made her so successful.

"I think we're done looking for today." This came from Elliot.

By declining to go and look at the fourth house, they were admitting their interest in this one. Neither of them were ready to say anything definitively yet, though. They wanted some time to talk it over with one another first.

Sensing this, the realtor backed off. Pressuring people was never good in making a sale.

"Okay then. I'll take you back to the office, where you can get your car. After you've had some time to think, give me a call."

They all agreed, and after one last look, they left the house. As they drove away, Olivia couldn't help but notice the home also had a two-car garage, plus the room in the driveway. That alone was a selling point to her. To not have to pay extra for covered parking in a garage, or to have to fight for a spot on the street would be wonderful.

They arrived back at the realtor's office. Before they left, she gave them even more detailed information on the property they had just looked at. Statistics, school districts, taxes, everything they would need to know. They thanked her, then got in their car to leave. As Elliot drove away, both were silent, but they knew they had a lot to talk about when they got home.

* * *

Neither Elliot nor Olivia felt like going out to lunch after looking at all those houses. They each had a lot on their mind. Elliot was still partially reeling from the revelation he had come to during his appointment with Huang. Then there was the fact that they both had seemingly fallen in love with the most recent townhouse they'd just viewed.

Opting instead for delivery, Olivia called ahead to place an order while Elliot was driving them back to her apartment. That way, they wouldn't have to wait a long time. Sure enough, by the time they'd arrived home and gotten comfortable, her buzzer rang. Olivia paid for their lunch, reminding Elliot that it was what they'd agreed to at breakfast.

She carried the bag full of food into the living room, while Elliot grabbed plates and drinks from the kitchen. When they were both seated, they each opened up the cartons of Chinese, and dished up servings on their own plates. Elliot got up a second time to get them some forks, as the restaurant had forgotten to include chopsticks with their order. Then, they began to eat.

For awhile, they ate in silence. Neither wanted to be the first to speak. Then, it seemed they were both struck by a wave of inspiration, and spoke at the exact same time. What made it even more of a moment was they both said the exact same thing.

"I think that is meant to be our house."

They both stared at one another, open-mouthed. Over their years together as partners, they had grown accustomed to being on the same wavelength. Finishing each others sentences was not uncommon for them. But this was taking it to a whole new level. It was as if they were thinking with the same collective mind.

Elliot broke the silence first.

"Is this really what you want, Liv? Are you sure you want to move in with me?"

He didn't see a need to remind her that he was a package deal. She knew all about his children. She already welcomed them into her home with open arms. The woman hadn't even so much as batted an eyelash when he'd told her his oldest son wanted to come and live with them permanently. If anything, all she'd done was ask when the boy would be moving in.

Olivia set down her plate. Following her cues, Elliot put down his, too. She took both of his hands in hers, and looked directly in his eyes.

"Yes, Elliot. I want to move in with you. I know some people may say we're moving too fast, but I don't care."

The food forgotten, he pulled her into his arms and captured her lips in a searing kiss. As soon as his divorce was final, he was going to tell this woman how much he loved her. He suspected she already knew. He'd loved her for years. Even when they were just partners. She'd always loved him, too. No. What he was going to tell her was that he was _in_ love with her.

When they each pulled back from they kiss, it was more out of a need for air than from wanting to stop. He brushed her hair back with one hand, and pressed his lips to her forehead. Moving back so he could study her face, he asked her again.

"So we're really doing this, then? We're buying a house?"

She nodded, unable to find the words. She was so happy, she couldn't keep the smile off her face. At the same time, she felt tears pricking at the corners of her eyes.

"I'll call the realtor tomorrow and put in a bid." Elliot announced.

"Don't wait. Call today." Olivia suggested.

Elliot agreed with her and reached for his phone. He quickly dialed the realtor. Thankfully, she was in the office, and not out with more prospective clients. When he told her he wanted to put in a bid on the house, he was told that wasn't necessary.

Heart in his throat, Elliot asked why not. Had someone else beat them to it? Even in this short amount of time? His worries were alleviated when the realtor explained.

She told him that the owner was motivated to sell, but prospective buyers just weren't interested. In fact, she had just gotten off the phone with the owner a short time ago. She had been about to call Elliot herself.

The owner had just agreed to reduce his asking price. And not by just a mere thousand dollars or so. The new difference was twenty five thousand cheaper. What would once have been a price crunch for them was now easily affordable.

Sharing a look with Olivia, he gave her a smile and a thumbs-up.

"We'll take it."

He and the realtor discussed a few more business details, and arranged a time and date next week to wrap up the closing. It was much faster than the process normally moved. But seeing as the owner had already moved out, and they were already approved by the bank, the details would be ironed out much more smoothly.

As Elliot ended the call, Olivia rose from her seat on the sofa and walked over to where he was standing. Much like he'd done the day they found out Stevens had taken the plea deal, he grabbed her up in his arms and spun her around.

"We got the house?" she asked, her voice full of wonder.

"We got the house." he confirmed.

She hugged him again, unable to find the words to voice her happiness. He explained to her the rest of the conversation he'd had, even though she'd heard most of his side.

Olivia had an idea then, and she hoped Elliot would be receptive to it. Taking him by the hand, she led him back to the sofa so they could sit down together.

"I've been thinking Elliot. What if I were to sell all my furniture? Or leave it here for the next tenant?"

He looked confused. What did she mean? He didn't have to wait long, as she clarified her statement.

"I want moving in with you to be a new beginning. I want us to have things that are completely ours, a fresh start for both of us."

Now he understood. And he loved her idea. Even more so, he loved her for thinking of it. While he had no problem using her things, he had felt bad that there was nothing he could contribute to their new home, save for the things he would provide for his children.

Olivia suggested that while some of the shopping they could do online, it might be good to make the major purchases in person. After all, they couldn't really tell how comfortable a sofa or bed would be through a computer screen. As an afterthought, she pointed out to him how convenient it would be to just have everything delivered to the new place. There would be a lot less stuff to worry about moving.

They sat back down on the sofa to finish their lunch. Despite how anxious they were when they woke up, the day was definitely looking up. With luck, it would only get better from here.

* * *

It was late in the afternoon, and Elliot and Olivia were relaxing together. Cuddled up on the sofa, they were watching a movie. Elliot realized they wouldn't have too many more opportunities to do this during the day, since Olivia would be returning to work on Monday.

He was pulled from his thoughts when her phone rang. He paused the movie to allow her to answer it.

"Hello?"

Olivia picked up her phone, having not recognized the caller ID. When the caller identified themselves, she tensed. It was her doctor. If he was calling this soon after her test this morning, then something must be wrong.

Elliot immediately picked up on the change in Olivia's body language. He didn't know what was going on with the other end of the call, but something had caused her to tense up. Reaching a hand out, he laid a hand on her shoulder. He hoped his touch would offer her a sense of calm.

Olivia listened as the doctor explained to her the results of her test. While it was nothing drastic, they had found something. Luckily, it could be treated with medication. He did recommend, however, that she not return to work. Not until she had completed the treatment. She reluctantly agreed. She didn't want to do anything to impede the progress she had made.

The doctor also let her know that he would want a follow up scan once she had finished the course of medication, to compare the differences. She said she would call to schedule a new appointment on Monday morning. He informed her that as soon as he hung up, he would phone in the prescription to her pharmacy. She thanked him, then ended the call.

Setting the phone down, she turned to face Elliot. She saw the questions in his eyes, and dreaded telling him. The day had been going so well. They were so happy. How could she tell him this now?

"Olivia? What is it?"

His tone of voice was gentle.

"That was the doctor. He was calling with the results from this morning."

Elliot was alarmed, just as she had been. He forced himself to remain calm and listen as she explained the situation. They had found a slight anomaly on her scan. It was no doubt a direct result of the blows she had taken to the head. It indicated that some minor swelling was present.

The doctor had every confidence that it would go away on its own, with time. In fact, he described its nature to be much like that of a bruise. The reason it was causing her headaches was that it was near a cluster of nerves. He didn't want her working, because stress would only exacerbate it and impede the healing process.

An anti-inflammatory medication had been called in to the pharmacy, and she was to complete the entire course. It was important that she not miss any doses. The doctor also stated that she might continue to have headaches even after she'd healed, but they could be easily managed.

Olivia's next step was to place a call to the Captain. She had to let him know that she wouldn't be able to come in Monday, after all. The doctor had felt that, given the nature of her job, even desk duty would be too stressful. The phone call was kept brief, and the Captain was very understanding. He simply told Olivia that he would extend her medical leave another two weeks.

Hanging up the phone, she turned to Elliot. He was sitting on the sofa, head in his hands. Her heart ached for him. She knew where his head must have gone.

"El, don't go there. Don't do this to yourself. You promised."

Scrubbing his hands down his face, he looked over at her. She was right. But still, how could she be so calm about this? Yet another setback, all because of one day that had gone so terribly wrong.

Her next words seemed as if she were reading his thoughts once again.

"You didn't hit me as hard as you think, Elliot. You kept yourself controlled. It was all just to convince Stevens."

Despite himself, he scoffed at her words. Did she really believe that?

"I made you bleed, Liv. I knocked you to your knees. You'd have fallen to the floor that second time if I wouldn't have caught you."

She regarded him carefully before responding. She didn't want him to feel belittled.

"Did it ever occur to you that I might have been exaggerating? Trying to sell it? How often have you seen me work undercover El?"

His thoughts traveled back to that day, but this time with a new perspective. It also made him recall another time in their partnership. She had barged in when he had been undercover on the Bushido case. At great risk to herself, she had pretended to be a prostitute. It was a move that had saved both their asses. Yes, Bushido had ultimately shot him for his 'breaking the rules', but as always, Liv was there to save him. He never once blamed her for it, even though she blamed herself.

He realized that she had in fact been acting that day. Not in her deeds, those had all been genuine. But her reactions to his treatment of her, that was a facade. He felt a wave of relief overcome him to finally realize that when he'd hit her, he hadn't hurt her as bad as he'd imagined.

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner?"

He asked her the question, needing to know why she would keep something this important from him for so long.

"Because you weren't ready to believe it."

She was right. Had she told him that she'd been exaggerating that day when she'd first woken from her coma, he'd have accused her of trying to make him feel better. That she was merely trying to placate him. Now, though, he truly believed her. He hoped she would one day tell Dickie the same thing, when the time came that his son was ready to believe her words, too.

Moving away from the heavy subject matter, Olivia commented on the fact that there was one positive outcome to more time off. Wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close, his voice rumbled lowly in her ear.

"Only one?"

She laughed at his suggestive tone, elbowing him slightly. She was being serious.

"I just realized, when I _do_ go back to work, I'm going to need a change-of-address form!"

Elliot's eyes widened. She was right. Now that she had extended her leave, they could complete the move into their new home before she returned to work.

They made plans then, to go shopping for furniture. Monday would be a good day. For now, they wanted to save the weekend for relaxing. Also, Olivia noted that she'd need to pick up some boxes so she could start packing up her things.

Before starting the movie back up, Elliot knew there was one final thing he needed to discuss with Olivia. He had to tell her that he wasn't going back to work. At least, not back to work as a cop.

Holding her hands in his, he searched her eyes. He wasn't sure where to begin. This could very well be the most difficult conversation he'd ever had with her.

"Liv, I need to tell you something. It's not going to be easy to hear, but I hope you can understand."

Tears started to form in her eyes. She knew what was coming, but she waited to hear the words. He needed to say it. She needed to hear him say it.

"I know you've asked me a couple of times, and I've never given you a straight answer, and I'm sorry. I only came to the realization this morning when I was talking with George."

He took a deep breath. He was really struggling with this. She said nothing, letting him take his time. She squeezed his hands in a show of support.

"I've loved working with you for the past twelve years, and you've been the best partner that a man could ask for. I never thought I'd see this day."

A single tear escaped from her eye, and began to trail down her cheek. He lifted a hand to wipe it away gently. He was crying, too.

"That all changed with Michael Stevens."

How he hated saying that man's name. The bastard's actions had caused his entire life as he knew it to change. He had threatened the life of his son, and almost cost him the life of the woman that he loved.

"I never thought I'd see the day when I would voluntarily lay down my badge, Liv. I always thought IAB would have to pry it out of my hands."

He drew in a shaky breath, then continued.

"But when I shot you – even though it was caused by someone else – that was the end for me."

He looked into her eyes once more, and said the words he never thought he'd say.

"I'm sorry Liv, but I'm going to be putting in my papers."

She waited for a few seconds. Then he nodded, indicating she should speak.

"I've known this was coming El. It hurts, I won't lie. I thought we'd always be partners."

She leaned forward to kiss him gently.

"It turned out, I was right. I may not have you on the job anymore, but I still have you as my partner."

Elliot saw where she was going with this, and added something of his own. It echoed to something he had told her in their first year of partnership.

"For better or for worse"

* * *

**The End**

**A/N: This brings us to the end of the story, but there is an epilogue.**


	14. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. I own nothing.

_Six months later_

Olivia's back was hurting. It had been a long day at work, and she'd spent most of it sitting at her desk. She raised her arms, stretching out her aching muscles. All she needed to do was finish typing this report, then she could go home.

Looking across her desk, it appeared to her that her partner was in the same boat that she was, counting down the minutes until it was time to leave. Nick Amaro was a good cop, but it had taken her some time to adjust to not having Elliot by her side on the job. Gradually, the two of them had developed a feel for one another, and they worked well together.

Nick wasn't the only new addition to the precinct. Shortly after he had arrived, Amanda Rollins had joined their squad, too. She was partnered with Fin. Munch, while still on the force, had decided to put his sergeant's badge to use. He spent most of his time with desk work now, and helping Cragen manage the unit.

Olivia took a break from her typing to get a cup of coffee. She wasn't particularly thirsty, but hoped the burst of caffeine would give her the added push she needed to power through the rest of her work. She needed to focus. All she could think about was getting home to Elliot.

Ever since he had handed in his papers six months ago, he'd been enjoying retirement. He loved all the extra time it gave him. Especially where Eli was concerned. With Kathy working, the child still went to daycare, mainly so he would be able to socialize with other children. However, on days that he was too sick to go, it was Elliot who stepped in to care for him. Eli was a regular visitor at their home, and he and Kathy had been discussing extending his visits to longer periods.

The thing Elliot missed the most about not working was being with Olivia. Having her work with someone else. That had been the hardest adjustment. Once he'd learned she was getting a new partner, he'd insisted upon meeting the man. Nick and Olivia had only been working together a little over a week before that had been arranged. Elliot had met them at a local bar one night for drinks after their shift.

Standing by the coffeepot, her mind drifted back to the first time Elliot had met her new partner. She smiled to herself as she recalled their interaction. When he had been introduced to the younger detective, Elliot made no attempt to hide the fact that he was issuing a warning to the man. That if anything happened to Olivia under his watch, Elliot would hold him personally responsible.

Nick, for his part, had taken no offense. He'd heard the tales of the partnership of Benson and Stabler. What a great pair they were. The entire NYPD was also aware of the event that had caused Stabler to lay down his badge. It was still whispered about to this day. Not in vicious gossip, but a tale of disbelief. None of the officers could imagine what they had gone through that day. They all hoped that they would never have to face a similar situation. Knowing that Benson and Stabler were now more than partners, stronger than ever, only solidified the respect their fellow officers had for them.

Olivia shook her head, trying to bring her mind back to the present. She took her cup of coffee, and fixed it to her liking. Taking it with her, she settled back at her desk. Once more, she tried to focus on the task at hand.

Still unable to concentrate, she realized what the problem was. There was a nagging sensation at the base of her skull, and a dull throbbing behind her eyes. She was getting a headache. For the most part, they had been few and far between since that course of medication she had taken months ago. But the doctor had said that she would be more prone to migraines for awhile yet. It was a side effect of the concussion she had sustained.

Before the headache could get any worse, she dug in her purse for her bottle of pills. The doctor had given her a prescription to take for the migraines when they occurred. The quicker she took it upon the onset of the headache, the faster it would work. Since she didn't have any water on hand, she used her coffee to help her swallow the medicine. Then she rubbed her temples gently, trying to relax. At least she'd be able to go home soon.

With a groan, she remembered that she had walked to work that morning, since her car was in the shop. Deciding she didn't want to fight with a taxi or walk home the way she was feeling, she picked up her phone. She would call Elliot for a ride. He answered on the first ring.

"Liv? What's the matter? Did you catch a case?"

He figured she was calling to let him know she'd be home later than originally planned.

"No, El. I'll be done here as soon as I wrap up this report."

She hated to tell him this. Despite all the progress he had made in therapy, he still hated it when she had headaches. She knew that there were times he still blamed himself. But she had made a promise to him that she would always be honest when she wasn't feeling well, no matter how minor she thought the symptoms were.

"The reason I was calling is, I'm getting one of those headaches. I just took my medicine, but I don't think I'll be able to deal with getting home. Could you come and get me?"

The tone of his voice changed, becoming one full of concern. He told her he would be there to pick her up soon. In turn, she told him not to rush, that she still needed to finalize the report she was working on. She assured him that she would be fine.

After hanging up, she tried to focus all her remaining attention back on the report. Unfortunately, she was interrupted yet again, this time by her partner. He'd overheard her part of the conversation with Elliot, and he, too was worried about her.

"Olivia? I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I couldn't help but overhear."

Sighing, she glanced across the desk at Nick. She waited to hear what he was going to say.

"I can finish the report for you, if you'd like. You go up to the crib and rest until Elliot gets here."

She opened her mouth to argue, but he held up a hand to stop her.

Giving her a stern look, he continued.

"You know staring at the computer screen will only contribute to your eye strain. If you want the medicine to work, you have to rest. Go upstairs and close your eyes."

By this point, Fin had become aware of their conversation, and was giving her a knowing look. It was hopeless to argue at this point.

"All right. You win."

She conceded defeat, then pushed back from the desk. Heading to the far end of the squad room, she climbed the stairs to the crib. She kept the lights in the room turned off, and went to a bunk in the darkest corner she could find. As she lay down and closed her eyes, she realized Nick had been right. She could already feel a difference now that she wasn't staring at her computer.

The next thing she knew, she was awakened by lips pressing softly against hers. Her eyes fluttered open, and Elliot was standing above her. He smiled at her warmly.

"Hey there beautiful. How are you feeling?"

He reached out to tenderly brush the hair back from her face as she sat up.

"Better, thanks. Looking forward to getting home."

He waited as she stood, then grabbed her bag from her locker. He took it from her hands, not allowing her to carry it. They went downstairs. She stopped briefly at her desk, and made sure her computer was powered off, then said goodbye to her coworkers.

Once outside, they headed to Elliot's car. Olivia hoped that traffic would be light, as she was eager to get back home. While her headache had eased up, she wanted nothing more than to get comfortable and relax.

* * *

Luckily for them, traffic had been minimal. They arrived home within fifteen minutes. Elliot parked the car in the garage, and they walked through to the basement entrance to go upstairs.

As they were walking through, they found Dickie in his downstairs room, working on homework. He stopped what he was doing to greet them both. While they had tried the tentative terms of trading off custody every two weeks, he'd still struggled. Therapy was helping, but only to a degree. Two months ago, the teen had moved in with them permanently.

They had given Dickie the space in the basement. By fixing it up even more than what it was, they'd made it so he could share the area with his twin when she, too, came to visit. He'd continued to attend therapy, and since coming to live with them, his grades had once again started to thrive. Though Kathy had struggled with her decision to let her son go, she knew she had made the right choice. Dickie still visited her often.

"Olivia! How are you feeling?"

Dickie abandoned his textbooks to come over and hug her. His father had informed him why he'd been going to pick her up at work, and he'd been worried. The closeness that had developed between he and Olivia after that day hadn't diminished. He'd come to love her just as much as he did his parents, and considered her to be like a second mother.

Returning the teen's embrace, she assured him she was fine. That while she'd felt one of her headaches coming on, she'd taken the necessary medication in a timely manner. Also, that she'd gotten the rest she needed before it became too severe. All she needed to do now was eat something.

"I put dinner in the oven right after you left, Dad. Just as you asked."

Elliot thanked him. He'd been in the process of preparing the meal when Olivia had called. Despite her telling him not to worry, he'd rushed out of the house in his hurry to get to her.

Dickie went back to his schoolwork, saying he would join them when dinner was ready. Elliot and Olivia said they would see him shortly, then headed upstairs.

Once they reached the main floor, Elliot headed into the kitchen to check on dinner. Olivia continued climbing the stairs to their bedroom. She took off her gun and badge, and secured them in the lock box in their closet. Then, she peeled her work attire from her tired, aching, body and slipped into more comfortable clothes. After she had finished, she went back downstairs.

She found Elliot in the living room. He was sitting on the sofa, his feet propped up. A cup of tea sat steaming on the one side table. She knew he'd made it for her. Even now, after so many months, his thoughtfulness always touched her heart.

She sat down next to him, and picked up her tea. Taking a careful sip, she swallowed the hot liquid. Then she put the cup back down, and leaned against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, and placed a kiss to her forehead.

"How's your headache?"

She could argue that he had asked her that question already, when he picked her up at the station. She reconsidered that fact. To be fair, he'd asked her how she was feeling. They both knew, that even when she felt like shit, she would often answer that she felt 'fine', to spare his feelings. Her instinct to protect him was still strong.

When he squeezed her tighter, she realized she'd been silent for too long. It would only serve to worry him further. She answered his question.

"You heard me when Dickie asked the same thing. I was telling the truth."

She looked up into his eyes, so he'd know she was being honest with him.

"The medicine is helping. I just need to eat."

His sigh of relief was audible. Placing another kiss on her brow, he murmured softly to her.

"Dinner will be ready soon, in about twenty minutes or so."

"What did you make?"

She was swept up in more memories when he told her he'd made lasagne. Her mind went back to the first time he had ever cooked it for her. It had been when she'd first come home from the hospital, and he was so worried about her not eating enough. She had been so touched that he would make a home cooked meal for her.

Now, he did most of the cooking. He always made sure she ate something for breakfast every morning before she went to work, even if it was something as simple as a bagel or a piece of fruit. Dinner was ready every night when she got home. On the nights she caught a case and had to work late, he'd keep something warm for her.

It wasn't that she didn't cook, she did. But he had found that once he got in the kitchen, he really enjoyed it. What they liked best were the meals they got to prepare together.

They were still cuddling on the sofa some time later when the oven timer went off. Elliot reluctantly disentangled himself from Olivia, and went to the kitchen. Olivia stood, and went to the stairway, calling down to Dickie, letting him know dinner was ready. He soon appeared at the top of the stairs.

The three of them gathered to eat in the kitchen, where a table and chairs had been set up. It was a much more informal setting than the dining room. Everyone grabbed something to bring to the table. Olivia removed the salad from the fridge, while Dickie got drinks. Elliot brought over the lasagne and garlic bread.

When they sat down, rather than have the Stabler men focus on her, Olivia asked Dickie about his day. She and Elliot listened as the teen talked about what had gone on at school. He also let them know that he'd finished his homework. He didn't have school the following day, as there were parent-teacher conferences. He was looking forward to the three-day weekend.

Elliot and Kathy would be meeting the following morning, to attend the conferences with their twin's teachers together. Even though they were now divorced, they remained united when it came to raising their children. Also, Eli would be coming for the weekend tomorrow. Dickie would be watching his younger brother while his parents were away. While Liz was unable to stay this weekend, she was coming over for dinner tomorrow night. So were Maureen and Kathleen. Elliot was looking forward to having the house filled with his family.

* * *

After dinner, the three of them gathered in the living room. With Olivia feeling better, they all planned to watch a movie. Dickie settled on one of the sofas, stretching out. Even though he had his own space, and his own television, he still enjoyed spending time with his father and Olivia.

He thought back to a time before he had come to live with them. It had been during a period of two weeks when he was scheduled to stay with his mother. The sentencing of Michael Stevens was approaching, and he'd been nervous. His father had arranged for him to have the ability to speak, and he wasn't quite sure what he was going to say. He hadn't yet discussed the topic with his therapist.

That night, he'd had terrible flashbacks of that day. All he could think about was the memory of the gun being pressed against his head, being scared that he would die. The memories continued to unfold. He watched, behind closed lids, as his father hit Olivia. Handcuffed her hands behind her back. Saw her come to stand in front of him, ready to trade her life for his.

He had felt the weight of the knife in his palm once more, saw the flash of blood appear on Olivia's skin as he was made to cut her. Heard the sound of the metal striking her flesh as Stevens hit her with the gun he had stolen.

Then, in his dream-like state, he'd heard her words to him. To get to safety. He remembered going into the Captain's office, hiding for a few precious moments. Watching with horror from between the blinds as his father fired the gunshots that ultimately ended up hitting Olivia, thanks to Steven's using her as a shield. Saw the blood as it poured from her body and stained everything it touched – the floor, her shirt, both his and his father's hands.

When he'd emerged from his flashback that night, it was near midnight. It was a Friday, so he was grateful he didn't have school the next day. He'd gotten out his phone and called Olivia. She'd always told him he could call her at any time.

The woman who he had come to admire had not only stayed on the phone with him to calm him down, but talked to his mother as well. After some discussion, Olivia had driven to Queens to pick Dickie up. Elliot had been away for the night at a conference, finalizing some details for his retirement.

She had not only brought him back to the house that night, but sat up with him for another two hours when he still couldn't sleep. He'd felt so bad when she had gotten called in to work on an emergency the following morning.

The only reason he knew she'd been called in is he'd heard her phone ring. She had stayed with him, sleeping on his futon, after he had fallen asleep in his bedroom. Olivia had wanted to be close by to him in case he needed her.

Dickie shook his head, trying to rid himself of the more haunting memories. He didn't mind thinking of the good things, like how Olivia treated him as if he were her own son. But he didn't want to dwell on memories of that day. He'd never forget it, but he was still trying to heal.

Despite his efforts, he recalled something else. The day of the sentencing itself. How he'd stood up in court, and told the judge what had been done to him. He'd been proud of himself that day. Granted, after they'd left the courtroom, he had gone into the bathroom and thrown up. But while he'd needed to, he had remained strong and steadfast. He'd faced down Michael Stevens and shown no fear.

Both his father and Olivia had spoken too, and their statements held a lot of weight. Other people who spoke included Fin, Munch, the Captain, and even Lieutenant Tucker from IAB. Despite the fact that Stevens had entered a plea deal, Paxton had even managed to get the surveillance tapes entered into evidence. With the judge viewing them, it guaranteed he would get a harsher sentence.

By the end of the day, the man who had caused them so much heartache was sentenced to a total of forty five years in prison. Ten years for each of the rapes he committed, five years for holding Dickie and the entire squad room hostage, and another ten for the assault and attempted murder of Olivia. Yes, they could have tried for a harsher sentence if they'd gone to trial, but didn't want to risk the man going for an insanity defense. There would have been no guarantees. Forty five years in a maximum security prison wouldn't be easy for the man. Plus Sonya had managed to add in one final condition - because of the terms of his plea deal, he would not be eligible for parole.

Olivia noticed that Dickie was deep in thought. She and Elliot had been trying to engage the teen in conversation, but he hadn't been responsive. She was worried about him, and wondered where his mind could have gone. Hoping to draw him out, she spoke to him.

"Dickie, are you all right? Is there anything you need to talk about?"

He told her he was fine. To her, the answer seemed a bit mechanical. She should know, as she was an expert at giving that answer herself. Just as she was about to try again, the phone rang. Elliot went to answer it.

When he returned a few minutes later, it was to remind Dickie of something.

"Did you forget you had an appointment with your therapist tomorrow morning?"

"Oops."

Elliot shook his head in disbelief. It wasn't that Dickie dodged his appointments. Ever since he had asked his father to find him someone to see, he had been an eager participant in his treatment. However, when it came to remembering his appointment times, that was another story.

"Oops is right. Your appointment is scheduled for the same time as my meeting with your teachers."

Elliot was trying to figure a way to tell Kathy he couldn't make the conference. Dickie didn't need an adult to be with him at the therapist's appointment, but that meant he wouldn't be available to watch Eli. Before he could come up with a solution, Olivia had an answer.

"I'll take him, El."

Both Stablers turned to look at her, curious. Didn't she have to work tomorrow?

"I can call off tomorrow, or take a half-day. I'll take Dickie to his appointment, watch Eli while he's there. Bring them back here after."

Elliot relaxed. What she had said made sense. He felt that little flutter in his heart that he always got when she did things for the sake of his children. It's not that it was an uncommon occurrence, it was just the fact that she always treated them and loved them like they were her own. She'd done that even before they were together. It was one of the many reasons he'd fallen for her in the first place.

Dickie relaxed, too. Then, he felt comfortable enough to speak up about what was bothering him.

"Olivia? Do you think you could come in with me to my appointment tomorrow? Just for a few minutes?"

This wouldn't be the first session she had sat in on. He'd asked her to come to his appointments on a few rare occasions, when he was particularly struggling. So had Elliot. She was always glad to do whatever she could to help. If her presence would make either of them feel better, then she would do it.

"Of course. I'll stay however long you need me to."

"What about Eli?"

His concern for his little brother was apparent. She assured him that she would bring along her laptop and some headphones, set the younger boy up with something to watch so he wouldn't overhear the conversation.

With that topic settled, everyone relaxed. Dickie was relieved that both Olivia and his father let the subject drop for now. He sat back on the sofa, as they cuddled up in their seats. Now they could all enjoy watching a movie together, something they did often.

* * *

One movie turned into three. Before anyone realized, it was nearing eleven at night. Knowing they all had to get up for appointments the following morning, Elliot suggested they head to bed.

Dickie said goodnight to his father, and Olivia. Before going downstairs, he asked Olivia if he could talk to her. She sensed he wanted privacy. With a gesture of her hand, she indicated that she would follow him wherever he wanted to go.

He chose his room downstairs. They sat together on the futon, the one he used so often when doing homework or playing video games. The same one Olivia had slept on that night she had watched over him.

Olivia remained silent, waiting for Dickie to open up to her. She didn't have to wait long.

"I was thinking about that day again, Olivia. And the day in court. I'm sorry."

He looked ashamed. He lowered his head, as though he couldn't bear to meet her gaze.

She reached out and put her fingers beneath his chin, raising his head.

"Never apologize for that, Dickie. Or for your feelings. Though it may seem like forever, it really hasn't been that long."

He drew in a shaky breath, trying to control himself. She could always find a way to calm him with her words. She was right, after all. Still he had to voice something else, and it couldn't wait until his session tomorrow.

"I hate him."

She didn't need the teen to clarify who the 'him' was. While they all felt a sense of relief when Stevens had agreed to the plea deal, and subsequent sentencing, it didn't make it any easier. It didn't diminish the anger. Even she, herself, was still working on letting that go.

She knew, also, that this was an issue Dickie was working on in his therapy sessions. She didn't blame him for his anger toward the man. But she didn't want it to consume him, and hurt his own health.

Finally, after talking for a bit, Dickie came to a final point. He thanked her, for what must have been the millionth time since he'd come to live with them.

"Dickie, this is your home, too. I made sure you knew that the day we told you we bought it. I gave you a key."

"I know, but still – it's your house."

Putting her hands on his shoulders again, she encouraged him to look at her.

"It's _our_ house. Your father's, mine, yours, your brother's, and your sisters'. All of ours."

He hesitated again. He knew what it was he wanted to say, but was afraid. What if she didn't feel the same? What if it was all in his mind?

"Olivia? I love you."

He held his breath as he awaited her response. He didn't have to wait long. As she answered him, her eyes were glassy. It was as though she were trying not to cry.

"I love you, too, Dickie. I couldn't love you anymore than if I'd given birth to you myself. You're a son to me. I hope you know that."

Overcome with relief, he hugged her then. He wasn't ashamed by the tears that were welling in his own eyes. Part of him realized that he'd always known this to be true. She had proven it that day when she'd nearly given her life for him. He had his mother, and he had Olivia. He realized how lucky he was to have not just one, but two incredible women in his life who would do anything for him.

When they pulled back from the hug, he thanked her again. He told her he'd be able to sleep now. They said good-night, and she headed back upstairs to Elliot.

* * *

When Olivia returned upstairs, she was surprised to find Elliot waiting for her in the kitchen. She'd thought he would have gone up to their bedroom. Having used the pretense of cleaning up, he'd stayed nearby so they could go up together.

"Is everything all right?"

He asked her the question, curious. Never would he ask directly what she and his son had talked about. He trusted Olivia, and knew that if it were something serious, she would come to him. Otherwise, whatever Dickie confided in her was between the two of them.

"Yes. He'd just been thinking, is all."

Elliot considered her statement for a moment. He, too, had been having a lot of memories himself today. They had been intensified when Olivia called to say she wasn't feeling well. Focusing on the moment, he asked her one more question, then he would let the subject drop.

"Stevens again?"

Olivia merely nodded, confirming that he had been correct in his guess. She knew that the man still bothered Elliot, too, even if he was going to be in prison for a long time. Despite the fact he was being sentenced for his crimes, he'd still had a smug expression on his face that day in court. Like he was trying to taunt them further.

She pulled Elliot into an embrace, holding him close. She hoped he would sleep peacefully tonight. His nightmares now where few and far between, but did happen on occasion. They tended to follow her headaches sometimes.

As if he was reading her thoughts, he whispered in her ear.

"Why don't I go upstairs, draw us a bath to share? We can relax a bit before we go to sleep."

Her smile was all the answer that he needed. While he headed up to take care of that, she walked around downstairs. She made sure the doors were locked, and set the alarm. Then she headed up to the second floor to join him.

She found Elliot in the master bath, adding some lavender and chamomile scented bubbles to the water. It was one they used often, to help them relax.

Heading back to the bedroom, she selected sleepwear for herself. She also grabbed a change of boxer shorts for Elliot. Ever since they had moved in with one another here, he had stopped sleeping in pants and a tee shirt.

She joined him once more in the bathroom, and found him already in the tub. Shedding her clothes, she stepped into the water and sat down. She leaned back so that she was reclining against his chest. His arms came up to wrap around her. Her hair was still up in a ponytail, so he pressed his lips to the base of her neck, placing a delicate kiss there.

She placed her hands on top of his, linking their fingers together. For awhile, neither of them said anything. He was being uncharacteristically quiet. Typically, when they shared a bath, is when he would open up to her the most. Squeezing his hands tighter, she spoke to him.

"Is everything okay, El?"

Another kiss to the base of her neck. A softly murmured response. She even thought she heard him sigh. Then, he spoke aloud.

"Just thinking."

She considered his answer, then said something, almost to herself. He still heard her though.

"There's a lot of that going around today. What is it you are thinking about?"

There was no mistaking the smile in his voice, the suggestive tone. He was being playful.

"I was remembering the first time we made love."

"Oh, is that so?"

Her tone also took on a playful and suggestive manner. She turned her head to face him. Their eyes met, each sparkling at one another.

The moment he'd said the words, the memories came flooding back. They'd still been staying back in her old apartment when he'd received the divorce papers. He'd been relieved to get them, not because he wanted to be rid of Kathy, but it meant he could move in with Olivia to the new place as a truly fresh start.

Olivia had been boxing up the last of her things when he'd shown her the papers. She'd looked at them, then asked him how he felt about it. He assured her he was at peace with the way things were. That she made him happy.

Though they doubted anyone would have believed them, they didn't get swept up in the heat of passion right away. Yes, they both wanted each other, but they also wanted to wait for the right moment. Since they were in the middle of moving in to the townhouse, things were a little hectic.

Their first official night in their new home though, was their special night. It had been just the two of them, and they had celebrated with a bottle of champagne. Things just felt right. After some kissing and cuddling on the sofa had started lead to other things, he'd swept her up in his arms and carried her up the stairs.

Once in the bedroom, they'd kept the lights dimmed. Standing at the foot of the bed, they had taken their time as they slowly divested one another of their clothing. Elliot had been nervous about the moment he would see her like this. He was afraid that he would see her scars, and be drawn back to the horrors of that day. But all he was able to notice was her beauty.

Drawing her down to the bed with him, they had made love to one another. Both of them had shed tears from the emotion and intensity of it all.

It was only when she was lying in his arms after that he had noticed them. He had been trailing his fingers down her skin when he came across the scar on her ribcage. His breath had caught in his throat.

She had quickly pulled him out of the bad places his mind was going, drawing him back to the present. Reminded him that she was with him, alive and whole.

Now, Olivia turned in Elliot's arms. She could see in his eyes that he had been thinking about the same things she was. Reaching down, she pulled the stopper to let the water drain away. He stood first, and wrapped a towel around himself. Then, he reached out a hand for her, helping her out of the tub.

He grabbed a second towel, and rubbed it over her, drying her gently. As he did so, his eyes trailed over her skin, studying every inch of her body. She felt her skin flush as it always did under his heated gaze.

Once she was dry, he quickly toweled himself off. Taking her hand, he led her to the bedroom, ignoring the clothes she had brought in for them to wear. She followed, knowing she wasn't going to be getting to sleep anytime soon. She didn't care.

As they reached the bed, his lips met hers in a searing kiss. After the memories that he'd had today, he needed to be close to her tonight. To know that she was, in fact, alive. That they were together and had each other. He covered her body with his as they lay down on the bed.

Much later, as they lay nestled under the covers together, he pressed his lips to her forehead. She raised her head, seeking another kiss. Both of them were still naked, and they each knew that was how they would sleep tonight. His fingers trailed over her body, and his hands subconsciously sought out the scars he had inflicted all those months ago.

As she felt what he was doing, her own hand went to his face. Forcing him to look into her eyes, she tried to draw him back to the present. Just as she had done the first night they had made love.

"El, I'm here. I'm with you."

She waited a few moments. When he spoke, his voice was full of emotion.

"I'm sorry Liv. You'll always have these scars, because of me."

It was nothing she hadn't heard before. She suspected she'd hear it again at some point. She just had to assure him that she didn't care about the scars. She cared about him.

"They're nothing. They don't matter. And it wasn't your fault."

He started to calm down, hearing what she said. Still he had to say something.

"What you did, I can never thank you enough. I never could have imagined that it would have led us here, to this moment. I love you, Olivia."

She pressed a kiss to his lips. It was meant to soothe, but also to express the love she had for him, too. Then she spoke the words that were in her heart.

"I did what I did that day because I love you, too. I've always loved you."

She waited for only a heartbeat or so, then added.

"Despite everything, I'm glad for that day. It led us to where we are today. And you never have to thank me. It was always worth the sacrifice."

Her words caused a calm to settle upon him once more. He kissed her again, then pulled the covers tighter around them. Finally at peace, they drifted off to sleep together.

* * *

**A/N: This concludes the epilogue, and thus, the story as a whole. I hope you've all enjoyed. I'd like to thank everyone again for reading, commenting, and giving kudos. It means so very much to me!**


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